South Africa has always been a bucket list destination for me. I’ve admired the culture and history of its people, and I’ve been aware of its troubled political past since childhood. I’d often read books about the systemic and political struggles there, and I’ve watched many documentaries about esteemed activists and leaders like Nelson Mandela and Steve Biko, and entertainers like Miriam Makeba and Brenda Fassie.
When I got the opportunity to travel to South Africa via Afri-Centric, a woman-owned boutique travel company that specializes in curated experiences meshing luxury, authentic community, and continental connection, it was truly a full-circle, once-in-a-lifetime adventure. We went from Johannesburg to Cape Town, and we saw the beauty of parts of the Eastern Cape as well.
The experience showcased the impeccable tastes and savvy of Afri-Centric’s owner and managing director, esteemed tourism and hospitality industry veteran Itumeleng Pooe.
From that whirlwind trip—a first for me in almost every way imaginable—I was able to experience a range of lodging vibes, cultural moments, and must-see adventures. Here are a few travel itinerary options for your next trip to South Africa:
WHERE I STAYED
Rockefeller Hotel, Cape Town
Rockefeller Hotel, Cape Town
Chic, City Vibes: The Rockefeller Hotel
This is the perfect home base for a weeklong experience in Cape Town since it’s centrally located. It also has amazing views of the city, a rooftop lounge, a pool, a gym, and an excellent breakfast buffet. You’re a short drive away from the V&A Waterfront, where there’s shopping and eateries, Table Mountain, one of the “7 Wonders of Nature,” and the Mother City nightlife many on Instagram brag about. (A favorite of mine was Ayepyep Lifestyle Lounge. Order one of their brai platters and enjoy affordable bottle service, along with a good mix of R&B and Amapiano hits.)
The Rockefeller Hotel was the perfect home base for a trip to Cape Town since it’s centrally located. It also has amazing views of the city, a rooftop lounge, a pool, a gym, and an excellent breakfast buffet.
Sanctuary Mandela, Aerial view from suites floor
Courtesy, Sanctuary Mandela
Sanctuary Mandela
Historic Serenity And Presidential Aura: Sanctuary Mandela
This was by far my favorite hotel experience and I highly recommend making this your first stop when staying in Johannesburg. Not only will you be respectfully immersed in the life, culture, and experiences of Nelson Mandela, iconic activist and former president of South Africa, but you’ll also enjoy sophisticated decor, fine wine, amazing customer service, and delicious food. Arriving there after more than 17 hours of travel felt like a warm hug, and we were right in the middle of suburban Jo’Burg which had a welcoming calmness perfect to start a trip to South Africa on the right foot.
From here, we embarked on a very bittersweet but necessary visit to the Apartheid Museum, the largest site to extensively tackle pre-, during, and post-apartheid history and the global impact of the movement for justice, equality, and restoration of the country.
I thought I knew all I needed to know about this topic, but it was refreshing to start from the beginning of the history of the people who settled in the region and the sources of what would launch systems of oppression there.
Luxe Queenly Ambiance: Lanzerac Hotel & Spa
I literally got my Lady Danbury of “Bridgerton” fantasy on at this wine estate, engrossed in history dating back to 1692 and located in a mountainous town called Stellenbosch, a town in the Western Cape. Each suite is unique and includes classic but luxurious touches, and the wine is among the best of the best in the world. The property also has a spa and several dining retreats, and it is perfect for a baecation or girls' trip to relax and enjoy the opulence of the lush South African landscape.
Lanzerac Hotel & Spa
WHAT I DID: WINE COUNTRY, SAFARI, AND THE ARTS
First, when traveling to South Africa, especially for the first time, I highly recommend going with a group and booking transportation to excursions or other cultural events through an agent or tour company. This literally takes the guesswork out of the logistics of it all, and you’ll be privy to guides who can tell you all about South Africa, its history, and its people. Throughout our trip, we were well taken care of by ElJoSa Travel and Tours, where the coaches were clean, comfortable, and air-conditioned. The tour guides became like family by the end of the experience.
Cozy, Family-Centric Safari: Milima Big 5 Safari Lodge
It was here that I got to see what safari enthusiasts call “the big five,” which are the five largest and most dangerous animals in the wild. It was an exciting and centering experience, unlike anything I’ve ever encountered before. We had three drives through the bush with a guide.
At this lodge, we saw rhinos, elephants, a leopard, a buffalo, and a pack of lions that casually walked just two to three feet next to our truck. It was an extraordinary occurrence since, according to several guides, it’s rare to see all five during your first time on safari.
The lodge itself reminds me of camping experiences of my teenage years, with rustic amenities and a spectacular pool and dining area that offers views of the animals’ watering hole—we could see elephants casually taking baths and drinking as we ate lunch. Also, the staff, again, felt like family by the time we had to check out. You can opt to stay in one of the cabins or a beautiful luxury tent where the animals will literally greet you in the morning.
My view from the safari truck, Milima Big 5 Safari Lodge
After a morning safari drive, Milima Big 5 Safari Lodge
Wine Tasting In Alluring Romance And Opulence: Delaire Graff Estate
We made a stop here to see the grounds and taste their selections, and for the brief time we were there, I fell in love. Overlooking the Banhoek Valley in Stellenbosch, this property has vast views including those of Table Mountain, amazing wines, provocative African art, a spa, and a range of suite options that might make you want to extend your trip. Classy, elegant, modern, and upscale comfort are major themes here.
Delaire Graff Estate
Delaire Graff Estate
Coastal Vibes And Culture In Eastern Cape: National Arts Festival
While Cape Town and Johannesburg are top destinations for travelers, Eastern Cape offers an off-the-beaten-path regions that are just as worthwhile, including Gqeberha (formerly known as Port Elizabeth). The region offers striking and geographically diverse coastal and inland countryside experiences, and the Algoa Bay beachfront was a pleasure to preview for the short time I was there. It’s also the birthplace area of major South African leaders including Mandela, Biko, and Thabo Mbeki. I enjoyed our stay at the Sun Boardwalk Hotel, which is within walking distance of Blue Flagged Hobbie Beach in Gqeberha.
I also became an active part of history with the stop in Eastern Cape, as the National Arts Festival marked 50 years of providing a platform for South African and diasporan artists and creatives to serve, fight against oppression, collaborate, and express themselves. It was an honor within itself.
The festival has roots in Makhanda, a town formerly known as Grahamstown, and it’s a stop you should add to your itinerary when traveling to the region in the summer months.
Township visit, Eastern Cape
"Sarafina," presented by the Sonwa Sakuba Institute
We caught a riveting rendition of “Sarafina,” an iconic anti-apartheid musical-turned-film that has won numerous awards across global stages. We also saw a moving performance dedicated to the life of Sarah Baartman, a South African woman who was exploited by 19th-century Europeans as a human exhibit attraction. (For more information on the festival schedule and performances, follow on Instagram @natioonalartsfestival or visit their website.)
During the festival season, there’s a pop-up food experience called The Long Table, where we ate authentic South African dishes prepared fresh by what I anointed the “beloved aunties,” a group of elders who literally handmade everything with love.
It was a communal experience that felt like eating at your grandmother’s house. Standout dishes were the peanut soup and anything with lamb in it. You’ll need to either check their Facebook page or simply visit the area in order to know the hours and menu, but it’s definitely a worthwhile search and visit.
(Check out more on the Eastern Cape and plan your trip there via the Eastern Cape Parks & Tourism Agency Instagram or its website.)
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RELATED
The reason why I think that this is relevant to today’s topic is, as I was doing some research for it, I found myself rolling my eyes quite a bit as I read things like “men need to orgasm in order to release sperm; women don’t need an orgasm to conceive” and “Why do women orgasm? It’s still a mystery.” Umm, is it? Because if you factor in the oneness component that I just mentioned (which more people should take to heart if you ask me) and then add to that the fact that the ONLY purpose of a clitoris is sexual stimulation and satisfaction for a woman — female climaxing and the need for it to happen as much as possible should baffle absolutely no one.
Sex serves a layer of benefits and yes, for both men and women, pleasure should be one of them. And since that is the case, a woman being able to orgasm, as much as she can, should be promoted…in content on a consistent basis.
And that is why I thought some of you might find it interesting that there are certain things about men, specifically, that science says can increase the chances of you climaxing — not only more but more intensely too.
Let’s dive in.
How Masculine a Man Is
GiphyI’m gonna be honest: All of the women out here who give pushback on submission and yet want a man to physically look up to (you know, someone who is 6’ or over which is only 15 percent of the male US population, by the way) fascinate me. So, you want a man who towers over you yet you think it is antiquated for a man to lead you? Do tell. Anyway, that is the first thing I thought about when I read that a man’s level of masculinity plays a significant role in how often a woman is able to orgasm and how quickly she is able to do it.
It would appear that some of the backstory on this is, on the physical tip, men with strong jawlines and broad shoulders represent being in good health as well as being able to protect their family while research also reveals that men with beards make many women believe that they would be good fathers. And yes, as much as social media may say — or scream — otherwise, women tend to prefer dominant (exerting authority or influence) men more as well. All of this together, in the bedroom, results in more and faster orgasms for women. Fascinating.
A Man’s Personality
GiphyA sense of humor in a man can really take him a long way in life — including when it comes to giving women orgasms. That’s why articles like “Funny Men Give The Best Orgasms, According To Research” exist. Although it’s probably a given that a lot of us are drawn to this character trait because it makes us feel good, research also says that humor taps into our creativity, makes it easier for us to adapt to things, and can help us to be better problem-solvers too.
Sexually, I would think that being funny helps because humor and orgasms both provide dopamine hits which is the feel-good hormone that runs throughout our bodies. While we’re on this topic, other personality traits that will make you cum more when it comes to men include being creative, warm, and faithful — gee, imagine that. #sarcasm
Also, a Man’s Self-Esteem
GiphyI’m pretty sure it doesn’t surprise you in the least that the more intense your orgasms are with a guy, the more attractive you’ll find him to be and the more willing you’ll be to have sex with him multiple times a week. Yeah, y’all be careful with this one because something else that science says is whenever a really good orgasm comes your way, as a woman, your brain literally switches all the way off for a moment (which could explain a lot when it comes to who some people choose to deal with out here…just sayin’). Anyway, apparently it would seem that a truly confident man is who’s able to pull all of this off.
That makes sense because confidence is all about having a high sense of self-worth; embracing challenges; not having a lot of self-doubt; listening well to others; standing firm on one’s own beliefs; putting plans into action, and taking control of one’s life. Plus, since a lot of women will admit that they prefer a man to be a provider and protector, which in turn causes them to feel safe, and feeling safe also makes it easier to let go and enjoy sex fully — yes, all of this tracks.
Foreskin
GiphyIf no one else will say it, I WILL: the double standard on foreskin vs. the extra skin that a lot of women have when it comes to their vulva is absolutely ridiculous. In fact, if you know some things about your clitoris, it’s constructed a lot like a mini-penis in the sense of it experiences an erection of sorts when it’s aroused and the clitoral hood is the clitoris’s “foreskin.” So, to be out here giving the “ick” to men for how they were born when some of us have large or hanging lips — yeah, let’s chill on that.
Besides, according to science, “uncut men” not only have a greater level of sensation during sex, but that extra bit of skin (which isn’t as much as a lot of y’all make it out to be…relax) actually gives women more consistent orgasms too. Don’t believe me? Read this here and this here.
If He Ejaculates
GiphyI dunno. If you’re not a selfish partner, this one seems like common sense because, if a man “completes the act”, that means he was able to “get his” and that seems like something any good lover would want for their partner (the only thing better? Experiencing it with him at the same time!). However, what I did find interesting is there’s a greater chance that a woman will orgasm herself if she knows that her partner came.
In fact, one study said that a little over 50 percent of women thought that it was very important that their partner ejaculated during sex while a little over 22 percent said that they experienced more intense orgasms if he came during intercourse.
Some studies say that the sensation of the sperm inside of the vagina may play a role in this; however, since that means that you must engage in unprotected sex (check out “Thinking About Going Condom-Free? Read This Before You Do.”) in order to vouch for this one…I’ll just say to use forethought, wisdom and definitely get tested before attempting it.
BONUS: How Your Friends See Him
GiphyThe more you learn, boy. Have any of you heard of the sexy son hypothesis before? The gist is this: If you create children with someone who other women find attractive, the belief is that you will end up having sons who have that same quality. And yes, being with someone who you think is appealing to other women — seems to increase the chances of you having an orgasm too (chile).
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Hmph. It’s intel like this that explains why so many think pieces say that the brain is the most powerful sex organ that we have. Anyway, if you’re someone who wants to have more orgasms or more intense orgasms, perhaps take some of this data to heart. For all you know, it might be the blueprint that you’ve been looking for all along.
Thoughts? Comments. Confirmations? LOL.
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