

Something that I definitely got from my father is a nonstop curiosity for random information. Yeah, it’s pretty common for me to be in the middle of doing something and, out of absolutely nowhere, a thought will pop up in my head. One like, Why is the sense of smell so important anyway?
According to science, smell affects appetite, plays a role in determining how things taste to us, sends warning signals about potential danger (like if you happen to smell smoke before seeing it), influences our libido, helps to stabilize our emotions (wild, right?) and, as far as aromatherapy goes, various scents can help to improve your overall health and well-being (hence the motivation for today’s title).
That said, since we’re well into the spring season now, I wanted to take a moment to share with you some spring-like scents (10 to be exact) that not only complement this time of year amazingly well, they can also help you to feel better, on a few different levels too.
My two cents: find a high-quality essential oil and either wear one or blend a couple of ‘em. That way, you can get the long-lasting effects as the temperature (and humidity) begin to increase. You’ll smell divine and be helping out your system at the same time.
1. Mandarin
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A scent that is very “springy” is anything that resembles citrus fruit — and mandarin certainly qualifies. As far as benefits go, not only can it help to put you in a better mood while reviving you both physically and emotionally, but mandarin is also great at detoxing your system, increasing your blood circulation, and serving as a sedative if you’re feeling anxious or, as of late, you’ve been having a difficult time falling asleep. And since it also helps to reduce stress levels, if you like how oranges smell anyway, look at all that it can do for you if you decide to actually wear the scent.
2. Peonies
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Speaking of citrus, a flower that’s in full bloom during the spring is the peony. If you’ve ever smelled one before, it has a bit of a sweet and citrusy fragrance to it. In herb form, white peonies are full of phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) which can be beneficial if you are going through menopause and you need a bit of an all-natural estrogen boost. The root has also been helpful when it comes to treating anxiety and depression. As an essential oil, it’s loaded with antioxidants that are great for your skin. And, since they are also on the citrusy side, the scent of peonies can help to put you into a relaxed state, similar to how mandarin can/will.
3. Bergamot
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Sweet. Floral. Lime-like. Those are some of the best ways to describe what bergamot smells like. As far as benefits go, many people like bergamot because its anti-inflammatory properties help to speed up the healing of pimples. Plus, hair-wise, it soothes an irritated scalp, softens hair, and can even potentially help your hair grow longer. There are also studies to support that bergamot helps to decrease pain levels, lower your blood pressure, heal psoriasis, and even reduce abdominal fat.
However, from what I’ve read, there is a heads-up to keep in mind here: If you plan on using bergamot essential oil before spending a considerable amount of time outdoors, wait 12 hours before doing so. Apparently, it’s not the most user-friendly when it comes to avoiding sunburn. Interesting.
4. Magnolia
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If you want a scent that’s kind of like a rose-meets-a lemon-meets-some musk, magnolia is exactly what you are looking for. In extract form, it helps to treat gingivitis (just for the record). Outside of that, it’s effective as it relates to bringing relief to menstrual cramps, soothing coughs, helping with respiratory issues (hey, it is peak allergy season, after all), and lowering cortisol levels in your system. Another thing that’s worth taking note of when it comes to magnolia is that since it can also help to improve your quality of sleep, many women who are going through menopause are big fans of it too.
5. Peppermint
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As far as the smell of peppermint goes, it’s kind of hard to describe. It’s sharp. It’s invigorating. It leaves a cool sensation whenever you get a close whiff of it. Anyway, believe it or not, even though peppermint candy is popular during the holiday season, growth-wise, it doesn’t do well in the cold. Spring and summer are more of its thing. That said, peppermint is good for you if you’re looking for some migraine or headache relief, you’re trying to unclog your sinuses, you need an energy boost throughout the day or you’re looking to treat a bout of seasonal allergies (check out “Honey, Probiotics & Other Natural Remedies For Seasonal Allergies”). Since peppermint can also help with making menstrual cramps less of a pain, of course, it had to go on the list.
6. Lily of the Valley
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I’m not sure if it’s because of the lemon nuances, the sweetness of it all, or the fact that it’s got a bit of a spicy kick to it but, if there’s one scent that some find to be “signature spring,” Lily of the Valley would be the one. What I personally find to be pretty wild is the fact that, with all of the health benefits that come from using it, it’s not talked about more often. Benefits like what? Well, for starters, it helps to even skin tone and reduce the appearance of scars.
Beyond that, it helps to lessen chest pains, keeps your digestive system running smoothly, decreases symptoms that are directly associated with depression, and can help to treat UTIs (urinary tract infections) too. You know, the woman in the Song of Solomon once said, “I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys.” (Song of Solomon 2:1) If one flower (and its scent) can do all of this, she definitely said a mouthful.
7. Tulips
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Personally, my favorite flower is a tulip. Not really sure why; I just appreciate how tulips look. Now as far as scents go, it’s kind of like a mixture of honey, fresh grass, and a hint of citrus. According to the Herb Society of America, tulips can help to moisturize your skin, can bring relief to insect bites and they contain diuretic and antiseptic properties that can help to speed up the healing process of a cold.
Oh, and if you happen to be someone who prefers to go as natural as possible when it comes to makeup, it’s not uncommon to turn red tulips (or any flower of your choice, really) into a blush by crushing the petals. You can learn more about how to do that here.
8. Spearmint
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Taste-wise, if I had to choose between peppermint and spearmint, I’d probably go with spearmint; it tastes sweeter. Scent-wise, it’s actually a lot like peppermint although not quite as strong. When it comes to your health, if you’re looking for something that is full of antioxidants that is able to boost your memory, improve digestion issues, lower your blood sugar levels, fight bacterial infections, and even slow down the growth of facial hair (in women), spearmint can do that for you. Since some reports say that it can help to balance out your hormones as well as help to make morning sickness more bearable, if anything should be considered to be a “women’s health scent,” spearmint would be it.
9. Lilacs
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Lilacs are pretty cool. On the symbolism tip, white ones represent purity, purple ones represent spirituality and the ones that come with blue trim are all about tranquility. Their smell is pretty soft and feminine — somewhat like the Lily of the Valley yet a lot more subtle; some say that they are able to pick up almonds and roses from it as well. Your skin will like lilacs due to their antibacterial and antifungal properties. This flower is also helpful thanks to its ability to protect your skin from damaging UV rays and help your system to heal from fungal infections.
10. Lavender
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If there is a scent on the list that you probably saw coming, it’s lavender. Its smell is light and fresh (kind of like new linens) with a bit of sweetness and herbal undertones to it. A part of the reason why I decided to put this one at the end is because, on some levels, it’s like saving the best for last due to all of the things that it can do for you:
- Lower stress levels
- Relieve asthma-related symptoms
- Improve sleep
- Promote hair growth
- Help to heal fungus infections
- Make hot flashes (in menopausal women) easier to bear
- Speed up the healing process of breakouts
- Boost your moods
- Reduce menstrual discomfort
- Naturally treat headaches
And that truly is just for starters! No…really.
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You know, fairly recently, Harper's BAZAAR published, “The 17 Best Spring Perfumes to Keep in Rotation” and listen, if perfume is your thing, it’s got some good ones on here. Personally, I will always be about essential oils because of the aromatherapy and other benefits that they provide.
So, as you’re figuring out what you want your own signature spring scent to be this year, at least consider trying one of these 10. You’ll smell delightful and be doing wonderful things for your health too. Happy Spring, y’all!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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