
I think I can confidently speak for all of us when I say that everyone and their mama had a crush on Romeo Miller at some point in their life. I mean, did you see him? He was every young Black girl's dream - swag, perfect skin, adorable smile and hair that you just always wanted to play in. This is my inner child talking, by the way, not my grown-ass 24-year-old self. Let's just make it clear. Even though years later, the 31-year-old rapper is still showing admirers of yesteryear that there are a bevy of reasons he's considered eye candy.
From his days on The Romeo Show with his father Master P to executive producing WeTV's Growing Up Hip-Hop, we've watched this boy grow up into the spiritually guided, sensible, humble young man he is today. When I connected with Romeo over the phone, I had no idea that I was in for a therapy session of a lifetime. But before we could even get into any of the love, sex and faith talking points, I had to ask him about his latest venture as a host on Fox Soul's The Mix.

The cast of the live talk show, 'The Mix'
Courtesy of The Mix
"As a kid, I always wanted to use my entertainment platform to do something bigger. I was always reserved, but I came to life when the lights came on," Miller said as he reminisced back to his days as a child star. He was deemed as the Dr. Phil or Oprah Winfrey of the house because of his ability to give sound advice on love and spirituality due to having his younger years sped up while in the industry. Little did this natural introvert know that his family would be speaking his role as a talk show host into existence.
When showrunner Jill King reached out to Romeo after Tiny's show inception, he took it as a sign from God to pursue his purpose. "It's the beauty of God and not knowing where life will take you if you just try and live another day," he said to me. "If you're living, that's the greatest gift. You never know what could happen tomorrow. Some of your best days might be once you turn that chapter."
xoNecole had the chance to chop it up with the child star-turned-talk show host about his new gig on FOX Soul's The Mix, the importance of faith and a relationship with God if you're gonna be in a relationship with him, and the most important lessons he's learned about love .
xoNecole: Tell me about 'The Mix'. What has your experience been like thus far on the show?
Romeo Miller: This show is so cool! I did it because of the voices on the show. This is a host that's never been seen representing for young Black America. There's no talk show like that and I thought it was very important for this time if we're truly going to make a difference in this world. If we're all gonna be equal and bring that to light, you need a talk show like this. With Zonnique [Pullins], Anton [Peeples], Jamie [DuBose], and Jazz [Anderson], I think you get a little bit of everything. I call it "The Mix Gumbo"; this is the gumbo version of all the talk shows.
Why do you believe it’s so important for 'The Mix' to have Black Gen Z and millennial hosts? What viewpoints can our generation offer on topics like love, spirituality, social justice, and all that stuff?
Everybody deserves to be heard - it's that simple. As I get older, I see people look at me, but I don't have all the answers. The more time I'm given on Earth, I become wiser and at this point in my life, you're still seeing me grow, but the thing I know about my career is this second wave around, I want to make sure I'm doing everything in my power to empower and educate our people, and to make sure our people have a voice. Black comes in many shades, we come from A to Z, 1 through 10, and there are so many variations. That's what you see with us - there's so many different perspectives, but at the end of the day, we come from the same home and culture.
As a host who focuses mainly on love, relationships and spirituality, what do you think you can offer as a key piece of dating advice to your viewers?
Man, shorty, do you know who you're talking to? I told you they call me Dr. Romeo Phil. Whatever you need, I got you on the dating end! (laughs) I could talk to you all day about dating and love. My biggest key to finding happiness and that department is love is actually easy. If you truly think about love, you could love your parents, you could love your friends, you could love your dog, but when you find somebody that you love, that doesn't instantly mean that's your person.
I think that's where our generation gets it twisted. We're so attracted, we love this person and we jump to the conclusion that this is our person. I always tell people if you truly wanna be happy and wanna find something real, just go towards the people who show that they value you. Don't say that they value you, but show that they value you. Trust and value - that's something that will be ten times harder to find than love.
When we first got on the phone, you mentioned that you are a man of God. As a woman of God, I have to ask you this: how important is it for you to be with someone who is also a believer? Is that a non-negotiable for you?
Oh! Well, if you read the Bible, we're not supposed to judge and we're supposed to bring as many people to heaven that we can, right? The reality of it is, morally, there is a difference. I don't jump to somebody who doesn't believe, I don't mind being their friend, but morally, there's just a difference with somebody who doesn't believe in anything. Not saying they can't grow into finding that love for God, but I've always seen that it is harder for me to be romantically connected with that person because God plays such a big place in my heart and my life. It's no judgment, but sometimes some people have a higher calling. I have some friends who married people who didn't believe and once they found that person, that connection brought them closer to God.
I think it's different for everybody, but for me, I just want people to know that everybody's accepted. If God could accept all of us, who am I to be somebody to judge? I think we all find God at different times and that's your journey, but for me, knowing somebody who grew up with that foundation of God makes it easier for me to make that connection.
"It is harder for me to be romantically connected with that person because God plays such a big place in my heart and my life. It's no judgment, but sometimes some people have a higher calling."
Speaking of connection, you’re a public figure - I’m sure you make connections all the time and women wanna make connections with you, too. How difficult is it for you to find time to date when you’re in the public eye all the time?
This is the thing. I had this friend back in the day who told me, "Rome, you're never gonna find love because of who you are. You've been in the limelight as Lil' Romeo since you were a kid, so who's really there for you?" God put me in this position for a reason to where certain things would bother other people and it would never bother me. I'm very good at knowing who's for me and who's not. I'm not perfect and I think we've all dealt with people who weren't very deserving of our time, but you've got to live and learn. I think that's what prepares you for your person. You have to learn those lessons so you could be the best future husband or wife that you could be for your soulmate.
In my case, the whole COVID-19 pandemic actually helped me in my love life because I was able to FaceTime and actually talk to people who I never had time to talk to. That was the silver lining for me because I went through my entire life without realizing I was just going, going, going and working since I was 10 years old. I never took longer than three days off - ever. Finally having the time to talk to people and get to know them, it was a silver lining during this whole shutdown.

Courtesy of KAC Images PR
"I'm very good at knowing who's for me and who's not. I'm not perfect and I think we've all dealt with people who weren't very deserving of our time, but you've got to live and learn. I think that's what prepares you for your person. You have to learn those lessons so you could be the best future husband or wife that you could be for your soulmate."
Let’s take it back a bit to when you were a child star. You mentioned that you only had, at the most, three days off at a time. Do you believe it was easier for you to date when you were younger or now that you’re an adult?
When you look at this generation, a lot of our most successful people aren't the cool kids in high school who were chasing girls. They're the ones who were building, playing with the computers and trying to figure out how they can make the world a better place. That's how I was. I worked my butt off as a kid, I loved doing what I did, and it made me successful and famous in the world's eye. I never did anything for girls and at a young age, I used to spend my money on Pokemon cards and be with my friends playing basketball. It was never my focus to be cool because this girl has to like me. Maybe because I was a nice looking kid and I never had any problems in that department. Some would say their first crush was Lil' Romeo, so I never felt that pressure to go above and beyond to do something for a girl's attention. I had my first puppy love when I was probably 14, but I didn't get in my first relationship until college.
It was a lot easier when you liked a girl because all you had to do was give them a lollipop back in the day (laughs). Nowadays, as an adult, there's different levels. Some people want family and for some people, if you don't like their family, that can play a big part. You want to find someone who matches your hunger and passion for life. When you're a kid, you just like who you like and I think that's why kids are so amazing. Social media does make dating a lot harder in this time and age because a lot of people are lost in the comparison game and trying to keep up with other people.
I'm very private now and I've learned my lesson. I've been burned a few times by putting relationships out there and thinking you have to show it to the world, but now I'm at a point where if you really want to find something real, you have to live social media free. Why are you really getting to know this person? Are you getting to know them to show them off, or just so people think you're happy? Are you truly getting to know them because they make you happy? A private life is a happy life.
Social media is definitely having a huge impact on dating. Do you believe that old school courtship is dead, thanks to social media and dating apps, or is there hope for this generation yet?
I don't think it's dying, I just don't think it's highlighted. I don't think real love will ever die, it's just about who we put the spotlight on. There's a lot of people out there who found real love and who are respected by their mates. If we're highlighting certain kinds of relationships, that's what the younger generations are going to think is cool or the way to go. That's why I play my part and I try to show any woman I meet in my life, anybody I ever date, what a real man is. Even if that person isn't the person for me, they know what to look for, what to expect and they have a standard. I tell my little sisters there's a difference between somebody wanting you and proving that they deserve you.
There's a lot of women who have men that treat them with respect, show them that they're more than just a hookup and treat them like they really want a partner for life. That's why people look at me and ask, "Why isn't Romeo married yet or have kids?" I'm going to do this right so I only have to do this one time because I am very old school and have an old soul. I want my person to be my first and my last person. I'm not trying to get married over and over. Not saying that anything's wrong with that, but I've been in a household where I've seen divorce and the beauty of marriage. I just want to make sure I'm doing everything right and taking my time. Everyone I've ever talked to, I take baby steps. If someone truly cares for you or wants you, they're going to be willing to take those baby steps to truly get to know you. All the men need to step up out there, but all the women need to stop accepting certain things from these little boys as well. It takes two to tango!
Speak on it!
(Laughs) Men wouldn't feel they could get away with things you wouldn't allow them. If a man cherishes something, he's not going to do something to lose it unless you allow them to do that. I think we have to get out of that mindset of, "He's going to do this anyway." No, somebody who truly cares for you is going to try their best not to ever hurt you. Women have to realize that you don't have to settle for being hurt or being let down. A lot of super successful men become successful and a lot of women let them do what they do because of a certain status. Whether they're an NBA player or a rapper, so women are like, "He can have any woman he wants, so I might as well hold him down." Is that really for you if somebody isn't gonna do what they have to do for you?

Courtesy of KAC Images PR
"If we're highlighting certain kinds of relationships, that's what the younger generations are going to think is cool or the way to go. That's why I play my part and I try to show any woman I meet in my life, anybody I ever date, what a real man is. Even if that person isn't the person for me, they know what to look for, what to expect and they have a standard. I tell my little sisters there's a difference between somebody wanting you and proving that they deserve you."
There are certain ways to approach a woman and you seem like a gentleman. I don’t see you walking up to a woman and saying, “Hey, I’m Romeo. Give me your number.” What does it look like when you’re trying to get to know someone? Do you have any pick up lines or do you just see where it goes?
It's a little bit of both. It's about what you feel. If you feel something, you have to act on that. I've been in situations where I did a little bit of everything where I tried to come up with a cool line or if I see somebody, I'm just gonna put it all out there. That's a question that you know the answer to because it's all in how you feel because that girl may like that little line that you came up with and she may think it's cute. Or, she may like that you're so confident and bold that you cross the street just to say hi to her and ask her out. You have to go with the heart on that one because we all find our person in different ways.
What do you think your 20s and early 30s has taught you about love, dating, relationships and sex?
I'm just now entering my 30s, but my 20s prepared me to be even ten times greater of a lover than I was in my 20s. I learned that just because you have chemistry, you're attracted to somebody and you love somebody, that doesn't mean that's your somebody. My 20s also taught me to find love on your own time and you can't succumb to the ways of this world. I think we all get lost in what's cool right now and fall off track sometimes, but you could always get back on track. Go with what you feel and stop following the world because God is real, but the devil is real too and he's here to tempt you into something you don't have any business in.
I learned a lot about separation leading into year 30. I had a dream as a kid that my best years would be in my 30s so I think the best is yet to come because I'm finally becoming the man who I know I'm supposed to become. Even though I had this amazing career, I was very obedient as a child, and I've done things at a certain level to set the bar. If you're here another day, you're smarter than yesterday.
"My 20s also taught me to find love on your own time and you can't succumb to the ways of this world. I think we all get lost in what's cool right now and fall off track sometimes, but you could always get back on track. Go with what you feel and stop following the world because God is real, but the devil is real too and he's here to tempt you into something you don't have any business in."
Since you’re Romeo, I have to ask this question because I’m sure inquiring minds will want to know. If you could build your ideal woman, what would be some of her most important attributes and characteristics beyond the physical stuff?
This is what changed in my 20s and going into my 30s. As a kid, you always have this dream girl and one thing I realized is that I never even dated my dream girl. You learn that it's not about your ideal person or about characteristics, it's about the soul. Who captures your soul and your heart?
My ideal woman is someone who's ambitious, passionate about your dreams and goals - if you're not passionate, you'll never understand a man like me because I'll stay up two days straight just to accomplish a goal. Education is very big, family-orientated, God-fearing and a big thing for me is [being] ready for kids. I'm ready to have my little basketball team. Family is everything. If I found a perfect girl right now and she's like, "I'm not ready for kids," you're probably not the one for me because I feel like God put me here to make some babies tomorrow.
If you're the one for me, we're going to be ready for that journey together. Everything else, I don't really care [about]. You could be short, tall, long hair, short hair - it doesn't matter if you have those attributes.
For more of Romeo, follow him on Instagram. And tune into The Mix every Tuesday at 10pm EST/7pm PST.
Featured image by KAC Images PR
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
More Than Gratitude: 7 Signs You're Struggling With Contentment In Your Life
If Thanksgiving happens to be your favorite holiday — or you just happen to be a longstanding participant of it — then there is one tradition that you are probably familiar with. Usually, before everyone eats, each individual expresses at least one thing that they are grateful for. I actually think that is one of the best things about the holiday because it reminds people to slow down and really reflect on how to be in the moment and think about the blessings that they have. And that, my friend, is what gets folks into the mindset of knowing how to be…content — even if it’s just for a brief moment.
Contentment. By definition, it’s the state of not only being “satisfied with what one is or has” but also “not wanting more or anything else.” And you know what? Although it might not be a popular aspiration of many, it is a sign of spiritual maturity on certain levels. After all, it is the Apostle Paul who once said, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content…” (Philippians 4:19 — NKJV).
Being content is about not complaining. Being content is about learning to be comfortable in your present circumstances. Being content is about choosing to find joy and fulfillment, on some level, and in some way, on a daily basis.
Personally, I dig all of this so much because when you have mastered true inner contentment, it creates stability, self-awareness, and a type of resilience that makes you…shoot, powerful beyond measure, if you ask me. Because when someone knows how to “find the good” and “make peace,” regardless of what is going on around them, they truly are unstoppable. Yeah, on so many levels, contentment is the ultimate life hack. It’s something that each and every one of us should aspire to become: completely and genuinely content.
Thanksgiving is basically moments away at this point. In preparation for that time of self-reflection, pour yourself a glass of wine, turn on some soft music, sit on your coach, and then ask yourself, “Am I content?” If you’re not sure (or you need the definition unpacked for you just a bit more), here are seven signs that you may not be…and yet, there is no time like the present to do something about it.
1. You’re Super Impatient
GiphyHonestly, putting another Scripture right here could be all that is needed in order to bring this point to a swift and abrupt end. Which one? I Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter, starts off with “Love is patient” (I Corinthians 13:4). Yeah, if you want to know if you love yourself and love yourself well, how patient are you…including with yourself? Throughout the years, I have shared one of my favorite definitions of "patient" in several different articles: “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.” For me, it’s a blaring reminder that mastering patience isn’t just about waiting (more on that in a sec); it’s about waiting with grace.
Content people can do this because, on some level, they know how to apply the John Piper quote, "God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them." Another way of looking at this is people who can wait well — without complaining or getting annoyed by delays or challenges in the meantime — get that in order for things to truly come together, there are lots of moving parts…some that they don’t even know about. And so, if they want the best outcome, yes, waiting well is oftentimes not just involved; it is required.
Impatient people don’t get any of this. That’s why they are so stressed out all of the time.
2. You’re Worried About Things You Can’t Control
GiphyThis. Past. Election. Chile. And then the cabinet that that man is putting together as we speak? I don’t even want to get my blood pressure up, expounding on it. Let me just pivot by adding one more Scripture — because it is beyond fitting: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34 — NKJV)
Although worrying is something that pretty much everyone does at one point or another, one of my favorite quotes on it is by an American humorist by the name of Erma Bombeck: “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” And really, when you stop to really think about worrying, isn’t that the truth? For one thing, all worrying does, by definition, is cause you to torment yourself by focusing on things that aren’t even going to happen (somewhere between 85-90 percent of the time, in fact; there is actually a science on that) or trying to control things that are beyond your control.
If being a worry wart is your internal struggle, my advice would be to look at life this way: If you’re worried that you’re about to get written up for getting to work late again, leave your house earlier — you can control that. On the other hand, if you’re worried that you’re going to get laid off before the holiday season ends, so long as you’ve been doing your best (which is also something that you can control), please put your energy elsewhere because that is something that you can’t control.
And I promise that when you choose to be calm and confident over worrying yourself to death, that can help you to manage what you can’t control so much easier. Oh, and your health will thank you, too, because worry is attached to things like insomnia, muscle tension, headaches, overeating, and drinking too much. All this over things that probably won’t happen in the first place? Yeah, sis…(choose to) relax.
And by choosing to chill out, there is some contentment that follows because you will see the good as much as, if not more than, the potential bad. Trust me.
3. The Past and/or Future Consume You
GiphyOn the heels of the Scripture that I just provided for the previous point, it also applies to this one. You know, back when I was doing some intentional research on forgiveness, I always appreciated the insight of author Gary Zukav: “Forgiveness is accepting that the past cannot change.” While this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t hold people accountable for what they have done, it does help you to be compassionate with those who are truly sorry (check out “Heads Up: It's NOT An Apology If An Amend Isn't Made”) because, no matter what has transpired between you and them, one thing they can’t do is go back into a time machine and change it.
And you know what? When it comes to the mistakes — or, let’s be real, sometimes they are conscious poor decisions — you have made, you can’t either. So, why let their misdeeds or your own consume you to the point of internally destroying you?
Then there’s the future. What if you get robbed? What if your mom gets cancer? What if your husband files for divorce? Girl, if you are caught up in the future that hasn’t even happened yet, you are definitely gonna drive yourself up the wall! And this is why so many mental health experts and platforms are all about encouraging individuals to live in the moment. You can do this by meditating, taking breaks from social media (and the news), journaling, doing things that you enjoy (instead of waiting to put them off), and resting.
Listen, one of the best things about choosing to only focus on the here and now is you can find little things about it to be content with — and that helps you to be/become more content overall.
4. You Always Think About Wanting More
GiphyAlthough it certainly wasn’t my plan for this piece to be so Scripture-heavy, I’ve got to flow with what immediately comes to mind and, for this point, the verse, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) is it. And just what does it mean to be greedy? A greedy individual isn’t just low-key obsessed with getting and having more — please catch it — they are also quite EAGER.
Eager folks also tend to be impatient. Eager folks are perceived by others as being very intense (and not in a good way). More times than not, eager folks haven’t really mastered how to take a moment to appreciate what they do have because all they care about is what’s next. And when you’re in a state of that kind of, well, anxiety…how could it not affect your quality of life? I mean, really.
And what if you read all of that and said, “I’m not greedy; I’m just ambitious” — listen, there is nothing wrong with having goals and wanting to obtain them. However, an ambitious individual knows how to find balance. If they get a promotion, they will schedule a vacation to celebrate it. If they just got a new car, they are not in a rush to get a new house until they can financially afford it. If they were just proposed to with a really nice ring, they aren’t hounding their new fiancé about setting a date within the next two weeks.
People who always want more, without taking the time to enjoy what they already have, are never going to be content. Why? Because there is always something else that you can want…even if you don’t need it or it really isn’t the time for it. Meanwhile, content people get that it’s a good thing to not go after everything all of the time; that it’s far wiser to embrace what is already before them — because some folks don’t even have…that.
5. You Compare Yourself to Others
GiphySomething that I actually get asked fairly often is, do I feel “some type of way” that I do so much work in the realm of marriage when I’ve never been married myself. The short answer is “absolutely not” because I know that I could’ve been married, a few times over, at this point; however, I am just as intentional about not wanting to be divorced as I am about being in a healthy marriage, not just “a marriage.”
I’m grateful to be in that head and heart space too; otherwise, I would be out here comparing myself to other people — and there is nothing good, healthy, wise, profitable, or beneficial about doing that. In fact, science isn’t a fan of playing the “keeping up with the Joneses” game, either.
According to science, that can ultimately do things like lower your self-esteem, cause you to only see the bad/negative things in your world (in comparison to other people), and it can jack up your perception of what’s really going on with other people. For instance, if you’re 33 and comparing yourself to your friends who are already married and parents, you might want to talk to them about what their day-to-day, beyond their IG posts, is like.
Because while prayerfully, their life is filled with many blessings, if they are being totally honest with you, they will also share that you’ve got some “pros” to your life too (honey, there are some real benefits to being single; check out “If You're Not In Love With Being Single, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions.,” “10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single,” and “10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'”). Content people get that every season does — because it’s true.
6. You Don’t Verbalize Gratitude Often
GiphyThere is someone in my world who I actually try to avoid as much as possible. It’s not that she’s not smart, and honestly, she’s one of the funniest individuals that I’ve ever known (and I’ve known her for most of my adult life). It’s just that…she is always wanting something, and I find that to make her a very draining individual. Lawd, even as I am typing all of this out, I’m trying to recall a time when I’ve heard her say, “thank you” for something (no joke), let alone express any form of genuine gratitude. She’s just got such a sense of entitlement that whatever she does receive, she thinks she’s owed and what she doesn’t have, she believes that something is wrong if it hasn’t arrived yet. Geeze, what a horrible type of existence.
You don’t have to take my word for it either because there is plenty of data out here to support that people who don’t take the time to be grateful for what they have ended up being unhappy, more stressed out, in more physical pain (yes, literally) and definitely more negative than everyone else — which would explain why people don’t like hanging out with them as much.
So, since this is the time when gratitude is the theme of the season, think about what you are grateful for when it comes to what you’ve accomplished this year, then write it down and post it up somewhere. Then, as far as the individuals, for whom you are grateful for — send them a handwritten note, get them a gift card to their favorite coffee shop, or even just call to tell them.
One of the most beautiful things about being in a state of contentment is it reminds you of a lot of what you already have. It really is enough…for now…in this very moment.
7. Being (and Living) Satisfied Is a Foreign Concept to You
Giphy“Tubi movies” really is a complete sentence. LOL. And yes, sometimes, when I’m taking a writing break, I will check out some of the most…I-wouldn’t-normally ones, just to lend my support. In walks Never Satisfied with its own self-explanatory meaning. Y’all, it really is oh so true that there are folks out here dealing with some unpredictable and sometimes even truly dire consequences — and it’s all because they didn’t know how to sit down somewhere and learn how to be satisfied with the people, places, things, and ideas that they already have.
That said, I am indeed a quotes gal, and one of my favorites on the topic of satisfaction is by actor Christopher Reeve: “Success is finding satisfaction in giving a little more than you take,” and although I don’t do what I’m about to do often (because I try to take Matthew 6:1-4 very literally and seriously), I’m going to illustrate what he said about satisfaction by sharing a recent situation.
This past week, a nurse practitioner (I prefer those to doctors) diagnosed me with wrist tendonitis for the first time in my life. If you knew how many keystrokes that I do a day, you’d probably be shocked that it took this long. Anyway, as I was waiting in line to get a prescription, a young Black man was basically freaking out because his insurance was refusing to cover his own meds. According to what he was telling the pharmacist, he always only pays $5; however, this time, they were charging $62, he simply didn’t have it, and the insurance company was not picking up.
As I watched him shaking and sweating while saying that he really needed it today and fretting while talking to his mom on the phone, I offered to cover it — and after going back and forth with him for about three minutes, I did. In my mind, although I didn’t plan on spending about $85 (total) that day, the little inconvenience that it was costing me was nothing in comparison to how much it was going to benefit him — I could tell from how he and his mother reacted (even the pharmacist mouthed “thank you so much”), and that is what made it money well spent.
To help someone who had no way of helping themselves in the moment? That brought me a lot of satisfaction because it’s nice to lighten someone’s load while leaving it to karma to handle it. ALL OF IT.
And that’s why I thought it was best to wrap all of this up with a reminder that being satisfied is being content. And when you can be so satisfied with your life that you want to help others? That is a level of contentment that is truly unmatched because you start looking for ways to bless others simply so that they can feel just as content as you do.
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Our culture? It really is never satisfied, which explains why a lot of people are so miserable. SMDH. You don’t have to be like the masses, though. This Thanksgiving, please purpose in your mind (and heart) to be(come) more content. It will make you a rare gem that benefits everyone and everything around you.
Including yourself, sis. No doubt about it.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 28, 2024









