I feel pretty confident in saying that most of us are huge fans of foreplay. And since foreplay consists of actually touching your partner, doesn't it make sense that certain spots actually…hit the spot? On the surface, while you might think that I'm referring to erogenous zones, I'm actually talking about pressure points that will not only intensify your sexual experiences but can offer up all sorts of other health benefits too.
If you're ready to help your partner have even more enjoyable climaxes (as they hopefully do the same for you), here are seven places that, if you take 10-20 minutes to massage them, can result in a euphoric feeling that is truly like no other. (Just make sure to dim the lights and have a DIY massage oil on hand.)
7 Pressure Points for Better Sex
1. Head
You've probably heard that the greatest sex organ is your brain (I've certainly said it a few times on this platform). So, of course, it makes complete and total sense, why a head massage would be a great way to get your partner in the mood for sex.
On the health tip, it releases tension, eases headache and migraine discomfort and helps to relax the body (it also promotes hair growth and lowers your blood pressure). Sexually, a head massage can help to calm down an overactive mind as it also encourages blood to flow more freely throughout the body.
Head Massage Tip: Dab a mixture of sweet almond oil and lavender essential oil onto your fingertips (the lavender scent is calming and the almond oil will prevent any mild abrasions; lavender oil is pretty potent). With a medium amount of pressure, massage your partner's temples in small circular motions for five minutes, then move up to their scalp for an additional five. By the way, it's best if they are sitting in a comfy chair when you do this; it'll help to take some of the strain off of their back.
2. Ears
Ears are considered to be an erogenous zone. Plus, they contain somewhere around two hundred pressure points that are directly connected to various parts of the body. Both of these are valid reasons why ears made this list. The interesting thing about this part of the body is, when you massage the left earlobe, it stimulates the right brain and pineal gland and, when you massage the right one, it stimulates the left brain and pituitary gland. Consistent massaging of the ears helps to increase blood circulation and boost one's immunity. It also encourages the production of endorphins in order to relieve muscle-related pain and discomfort. As a bonus, you can boost your partner's libido if you rub on these pressure points a bit.
Ear Massage Tip: All of us have something that's known as the Bosch point; it's located on both ears. Basically, it's the thin part of our ear that, if we bent it towards our face, it would easily fold into our ear's canal. If you gently massage that area on both sides, and you add a little nibbling and/or dirty talk into the equation, I promise you that things will be on and poppin' within a couple of minutes.
3. Stomach
Did you know that a stomach/abdominal massage can improve digestion, relieve constipation, reduce bloating, strengthen and tone stomach muscles, release tension and aid in weight loss? Two other benefits are it can calm your senses and help your orgasms to last a little longer. The key is to be as gentle as possible, perhaps even giving a few kisses to the tummy region along the way.
Stomach Massage Tip: In order to get the best results, make sure to focus on the areas that are a couple of inches underneath your partner's belly button, and also the part that is right above their crotch. If you slightly apply pressure, it will get their blood to circulating and, it will definitely arouse their genitals in the process.
4. Back
Back massages do all sorts of great things. They help to release muscle tension from the spine. They increase blood circulation to your body's muscles and tissues. And sexually, they help to "trigger" the feel-good hormones that naturally run throughout your system as they increase body's mobility too. (Yes, back massages can actually make you more limber!)
Back Massage Tip: If you want to make this kind of massage extra soothing, warm up some massage oil. Then ask your partner to lay on their stomach on the bed. Place each hand, flat, on each side of your partner's spine and slowly move your hands upward until you reach their shoulders. Then use your thumbs to massage their shoulder blades in a circular motion. You should feel tension leave their body as you're actually doing it.
5. Butt
There are a lot of people who tell me that, as they get older, their lower back doesn't quite work the way that it used to (if you know what I mean). One thing that can help to get it back into action is to receive a glutes (butt) massage. It's a great way to regain some strength and agility while increasing blood circulation to your genital region and making your orgasms more intense as a direct result.
Butt Massage Tip: An easy way to relieve the stress, pain and pressure that may be lodged in your partner's glutes is to run a foam roller over them. You can typically get them at stores like Walmart or Target for under 20 bucks. Or, if you'd like to watch a video on how to give an effective butt massage, click here.
6. Calves
Have you ever gotten a charley horse during sex? I have and it sucks because it always seems to come right before, well, you know. Aside from making sure that you have enough liquids and potassium in your system, something else that you can do to decrease you and your partner's chance of having these super annoying muscle spasms is to give calf massages. They improve blood circulation, reduce any scar tissue that your calf muscles may have on them and, they help to decrease pain as well.
Calf Massage Tip: Warm up some coconut oil. Have your partner lay on the stomach on the bed. Use a medium amount of pressure in order to rub their legs from their thighs down to their ankles, using your knuckles to gently kneed any areas that might be extra tight. Do this for about six minutes per leg. It'll feel like heaven to them.
7. Feet
Reflexology is pretty dope. The premise of it is that, by massaging the hands, ears and yes, feet, you can soothe your nervous system and even help to heal various parts of your body. Since there are approximately 7,000 nerve endings in our feet, you can probably see why it's such a good idea to give them a good rub every now and then. Feet massages can do everything from eliminating toxins in your body and boosting your brain power to reducing period pain and relieving headaches. And yes, it can also make your sexual experiences better. That's because reflexology has a way of releasing the stress hormones in your system that may be hindering your ability to get fully aroused.
Foot Massage Tip: Something that can easily put your partner in the mood is to apply a gentle amount of pressure underneath the balls of both of their feet. Do this by pushing in that area with your thumbs and holding for a count of 10. If you then follow that up by using your thumbs to "walk" from their heels to each of their toes, it will help to release anxiety and elevate their libido too. Now get to rubbing—and make sure that your partner returns the favor!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image via Shutterstock
- 16 Male Erogenous Zones To Stimulate During Sex, According To ... ›
- Erogenous Zones 101: Surprising Pleasures Points to Trigger ... ›
- The 11 Hottest (Unexpected) Erogenous Zones for Women | Glamour ›
- The A-spot is the sexual pleasure point that could unlock the best ... ›
- 8 Sex Massage Pressure Points You Need to Know - Beducated ... ›
- Acupressure for Good Sex — Cicuto Acupuncture ›
- Erogenous Zones - Turn on Man with Male Erogenous Zones ›
- 31 Erogenous Zones & How to Touch Them: A Chart for Men ... ›
- Top 5 pressure points for female orgasm - Times of India ›
- 5 Best Massage Points for Seduction, Relaxation, and Sex ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Serena Williams Hits Back At Skin-Bleaching Accusations: 'I’m A Dark, Black Woman, And I Love Who I Am'
Serena Williams is clapping back at skin-bleaching accusations. During a makeup tutorial for her beauty brand, Wyn Beauty, the tennis legend took the opportunity to address the "haters."
“And then I put just that neutral color, that is actually my skin color, and no, for you haters out there, I do not bleach my skin,” she said. “There is a thing called sunlight, and in that sunlight, you get different colors.”
The rumors started after the mom of two posted a video of herself and her husband, Alexis Ohanian, at their daughter's school play. In the video, she appeared to look a few shades lighter. During her response, she revealed that she was volunteering at the play and wore stage makeup.
“Yes, I’m calling you out on this because it is ridiculous that everyone’s like, ‘Oh, she bleached her skin,’" she said. "I’m a dark, Black woman, and I love who I am, and I love how I look and that's just not my thing.”
The 23-time Grand Slam champion also said that she doesn't judge anyone who bleaches their skin as she "stays in my lane."
Serena has always had style on and off the court, and even collaborated with Nike with her own collection Serena Williams Design Crew. However, the tennis champ has now pivoted into beauty.
Wyn Beauty was launched in April 2024 with at 10-piece collection of lip, eye, and complexion products. The brand was inspired by Serena's time on the court and the packaging is reminiscent of a tennis ball due to its chartreuse color.
“Throughout my career, I was always searching for makeup that looked good after hours on the court, mixing products myself and creating my own formulas while traveling the world,” she said in a statement. As she continues to make a name for herself in the beauty industry, I'm sure we will see a lot more looks from the tennis star.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Marc Piasecki/WireImage