Michelle Obama Gets Real About Confronting Her Insecurities & Self-Doubt
Insecurities are the devil. They've popped up more times than I would like; in the most awkward moments. When I finally overcome one and do my dance to celebrate, another one pops up making me question myself. Whether it's wondering if my boobs are getting out of control (I'm rocking a 36I), obsessing over my uneven front teeth, or feeling like I'm the weakest link at a new job, if I'm not careful, I can find an imperfection at any given moment.
I might have thought something was seriously wrong with me if women like Michelle Obama didn't share their experiences with the same struggle.
We all look to her as a superhero of some sort: she's our sister, aunt, mother, friend, mentor and to some, all of the above. But her tangible proof of success isn't the only reason we admire FLOTUS in so many ways. She has no problem being vulnerable and honest when sharing her story. She doesn't try to wrap it up, put a bow on top and present it to us in this pretty package as if everything was perfect. Nope. Instead, she bares all.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Michelle Obama (@michelleobama) on Feb 9, 2020 at 8:22am PST
In a recent conversation with Oprah Winfrey during the media mogul's 2020 Vision Tour, our Forever First Lady touched on her feelings of inadequacies. She confessed that being her own worst critic was the root:
"I struggle with looking in the mirror. I hate looking at myself. I hate listening to my voice. I hate watching myself on tape, because I'm constantly judging myself too, just like everybody else."
While our level for aspiration for Michelle went up after the release of her memoir Becoming, she revealed her self-doubt was certainly present while she promoted the best-seller.
"I lived in a cocoon of the White House for eight years. I knew sorta kinda that people maybe sorta liked me and might be interested in reading my book. Not everybody likes me. Some people think I'm the devil. When you're in politics, you get the good and the venom too."
The criticism she received while on the campaign trail with President Barack Obama didn't help.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Michelle Obama (@michelleobama) on Oct 3, 2019 at 7:46am PDT
"People called me all kinds of things when I was campaigning for Barack, like it was a competition. They called me un-American, and this stuff sticks with you. Men talked about the size of my butt. There are people who were telling me I was angry. That stuff hurts, and it makes you sort of wonder, what are people seeing? That stuff is there. And look, I'm a black woman in America. And you know, we're not always made to feel beautiful. So there's still that baggage that we carry, and not everyone can relate to that. But yes, there is baggage that I carry just like anybody else."
And she's doing what she can to make sure her and Barack Obama's daughters, Malia Obama, 21, and Sasha Obama, 18, don't have to experience the same insecurities.
"I told my daughters, because as they're getting older they start to judge themselves and it's interesting when they talk about, 'I can't fit in my jeans that I had last year.' I said, 'But you're a whole other year older. You're now becoming a woman. You don't have a child's body.'"
"That's like saying at 20, I'm really upset that I couldn't wear my favorite overalls anymore from when I was 10. That's as ridiculous as it is at 56 to think that I should look like I did when I was 36, or for anyone to judge me like that, or to judge a woman like that."
She said that over time, she's learned to appreciate her physique no matter what; which means handling it with care in all stages.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Michelle Obama (@michelleobama) on Oct 20, 2019 at 11:45am PDT
"We are so ridiculous as women. We don't want to talk about our age, and then we want to act like we should look like we did when we were 20, you know? When, I'm sorry, men you can look any kind of way. And it seems to be OK."
"[It's] all mine, and it's a healthy body that works, everyday. I try hard not to judge it. And it's different. You have to get to know your body, because what this body is at 56 — I can't do the things I did when I was 36. It's not the same body. We are living things. We're not machines. You know, we run out of gas. We need fuel. We need sunshine and light. We need to take care of ourselves and when you don't, as you get older, just like any living thing it begins to fail on you. And for me, I'm trying to figure out, what is that balance that I need to make sure that this body, that God gave me, that I'm taking care of it the best that I can and that it will serve me well as I get older."
Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line CÉCRED & Here's My Honest Review
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
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Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED