We know Valentine’s Day is a loaded holiday. But listen, it’s okay to enjoy the day whether you’re celebrating solo or with someone you love. With that said, let’s talk all things beauty. Even if you loathe them, the holidays are a time to have some creative fun. So instead of making homemade Valentine’s Day for our elementary school friends, we can turn that creativity on ourselves.
This creative moment doesn’t mean getting complicated unless intricate looks are your specialty. We’ve rounded up a few looks to get your inner makeup artist going from the simplistic to the more detailed. And we chatted with award-winning Juvia's Place makeup artist, Ashley Wallace who also works with artists such as Remy Ma and Cardi B to get her insights on what we should try on for this fun-loving holiday. So have fun, enjoy the day, and remember self-love is always the best place to start!
Leave Home Blushing
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
Don’t think about blush in terms of the ‘80s. The formulas are much easier to use and fix, and Wallace says this is a 2023 trend to get into ASAP. “Blush is the perfect touch you will need for your Valentine’s Day makeup look,” she tells xoNecole. “You can play with pink and rosy tones to keep your look super flirty and fun. The Juvia’s Place Blush Duos are perfect.”
Dewy Skin with an Ombré Red Lip
I don’t know about you, but I’m still not rushing to put on a full face of foundation and powder. However, one thing that instantly makes me feel a sense of glam is a bright matte lip. So whether you’re headed out for date night with bae or going out solo, swipe on a red that makes you feel your best, but Wallace says to add a little twist. “Try an ombré red lip,” she tells us. “It consists of darkening the lipliner with a deep reddish/brown and filling in the center of the lips with your favorite red lipstick and blending the two colors together. It creates the perfect sultry lip look.”
As for the dewy skin, try a primer with a few daps of concealer under the eyes, around the mouth, and on any spots, you’d like to diffuse.
Go Full Volume on Your Lashes or Opt for White Eyeliner
Dominique Charriau/Getty Images for Christian Dior
Lashes instantly wake up even the most tired eyes. So go for the gusto with a set of lashes that wow. To make the eyes pop even more, line the eyes with white liner or place a dab of gold highlighter in the corners.
Wear Pink
Nothing says Valentine’s Day like the color pink. If you’re feeling bold, go for an all-over eye look with a pink hue that best matches your skin tone, or opt for a pink winged liner. Danessa Myricks Color Fix Matte in Valentine is the perfect formula for either look.
To use the formula as a liner, you only need a thin brush, micellar water, and Q-tips to clean up mistakes. If you prefer a powder, try Fenty Beauty’s Snap Shadows Mix & Match Eyeshadow Palette in rose, as it has mattes and shimmers.
Go for the Gold with a Smokey Look
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue
A traditional smokey eye is always a beauty do. But to brighten up the eyes, apply a shimmer eyeshadow to the middle of the lid over your nude or black base. For a full-on gold glam look, I use a deep brown base and layer that with a barely there line of liquid liner and a gold liquid shimmer shadow from Milani. As a result, the eyes have depth and shine, perfect for a night full of love.
Classic Hollywood Glam
Keep it classic with liquid-lined eyes and a glossy red lip. Before applying your lipstick, slough away dead skin (and line your lips) because liquid lipsticks can show everything under the lipstick.
Sparkle, BB
Okay. We can’t all get away with an entire crystal look like Doja Cat at Paris Fashion Week. However, we can add a few crystals or glitter to our makeup looks. For glitter lips, adorn them with Pat McGrath’s runway-tested glitter kit. For the eyes, add red or pink rhinestones to take your look over the top! Just be sure to have the right tools on deck: tweezer, cosmetic glue (lash glue can work), and rhinestones.
Add a Pink Cut Crease
I love seeing cut creases done on videos on TikTok. It’s so satisfying, even if I haven’t perfected the technique. Getting this down might take some practice, but we all know practice makes perfect.
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Featured image by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
RELATED
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
I say this because individuals will then reply with things like, “It smells like a hint of so-and-so and such-and such. Is that right?” or “It’s not that big of a deal. What is it?” or my personal pushy favorite: “You don’t tell? What does that mean? I’m just asking what you are wearing”, as they stand and wait for me to totally change my mind about what I already told them — which I don’t. And I won’t.
I heard you. The answer is “no.” Access to my own information is a privilege not a right. On any level.
Access. Pretty much any relationship that you have — no matter how surface level or deep it goes — comes with a certain amount of access to you, your life, and what you have to offer. What access means is that you have given another person the right or permission to approach you, speak to you (including how they speak to you), interact with you, learn about you…benefit from you. And do you know what the cool thing about that is?
If you don’t give someone the approval to do so and they try and proceed anyway…what they are pretty much doing is revealing to you that they should be DENIED ACCESS because, at the least, they are disrespecting you and, at the most, they are trying to utilize force — and either way, that is confirmation that they are someone who should be granted much access to you at all.
Have mercy. Can you imagine how much more energy you would have, how much more smoothly your interactions with others would go, and how much clarity you would actually get if you made the daily decision to apply the word “access” to your life? A game-changer and stress-reliever, indeed.
Keeping this point in mind, take a moment to read seven signs that there is a really good chance that someone (or several individuals) is out here having way more access to you than they actually should. That way, you can put some necessary boundaries in place for the sake of your overall health and well-being.
7 Signs Someone Has Too Much Access To You
1. They Act Entitled to You and Whatever You Have to Offer
GiphySomething that I spent quite a bit of time discussing in my latest book is how to deal with different kinds of narcissists (check out “You Could Be Turning Into A Narcissist...And You Don't Even Know It”) — especially familial and church-going ones. And y’all, even though I know that the word “narcissist” gets tossed around like confetti these days, please believe there’s a very telling sign that you’ve got one in your midst: they tend to feel like they are entitled to whatever you have; hell, even going so far as to act like you’re the problem whenever you remind them that they aren’t.
And what are some indicators of an entitled-acting person?
- They are quite arrogant and self-absorbed
- They are selfish as all get out
- They like to make ridiculous and/or unrealistic demands
- They don’t care if what they are expecting of you is problematic or an inconvenience to your world; they want it anyway
- They move in assumptions instead of requests
- They aren’t gracious or grateful
- They believe that they should be the exception to every rule — including your boundaries
And here’s the thing about entitled people (especially when they are narcissists as well): you’ll never be able to satisfy them because they are constantly wanting more — and feeling like you should be the one (or at least one of the ones) to give it to them. What that ultimately means is giving in to them all of the time is literally like “feeding the monster.”
Not only that but they are also pretty parasitic when it comes to your life because they tend to take far more than they give (more on that later). Yeah, entitled folks really can be the worst. And yes, if you’ve got these kinds of people in your world, it’s pretty much a given that they have way too much access to you than they ever should.
2. They Bogart About Your Business
GiphySpeaking of entitled ass individuals — I’ve got some relatives who think that just because they want to know certain things about my life (or life decisions) that they are automatically owed that information. Back when I was a younger adult, frankly, I was too scared to tell them that they weren’t. Now, though? Chile, please. Not only is ANY detail of my life privileged intel, but your opinion about whatever I choose or choose not to share is just that — an opinion. I don’t care what role/position you hold, how old (or how much older than I am) you are, or if you don’t agree with what I just said. I am grown, I have been for quite some time now, and I don’t need your permission to say or do what I choose to say or do.
When you’re dealing with people who think that your business should be their own and they press, nag, or pressure you about this very fact, that is also someone who has more access to you than they should — just by them having the balls to approach you in that fashion. Always remember that information creates levels of intimacy and you have every right to determine who has the right to get close to you and…who doesn’t. (By the way, the safe people are the ones who get and totally accept this poignant truth.)
3. They Think That Their Emergency Should Be Your Own
GiphyOne of my absolute favorite people in my world also reigns supreme when it comes to one of my peak pet peeves: they want you to be damn near immediately available to them whenever they reach out to you — oh, but getting them when you’re on the “need side”? It really is a literal crap shoot. It’s weird too because it’s not that this person isn’t someone who has my back. It’s just that…when I call them, there’s no telling if their ringer is on or if the phone is even in the same room that they are in and so if I happen to be in a bind, it could take them a series of minutes to find that out.
Meanwhile, if I don’t pick up when they call, they’re immediately sending texts to see why not. LOL. Know why? It’s basically because they’ve learned that I am far more accessible than they are — and it’s kind of got them feeling pretty bold about that.
Y’all, my friends know that if anyone has them in a clutch, I do. However, with folks like the friend that I’ve just mentioned, I’ve had to talk to them about the fact that just like they have a life, so do I — and what comes with that is the conclusion that just because something may be hella pressing to them, that doesn’t always and/or automatically mean that I should feel the same way.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are unnecessarily stressed out, far more than they ever should be, and it’s all because they believe that since someone else has an urgent matter they should share the load in the way that that person sees fit — and that’s simply not true.
I believe I’ve mentioned before that a lot of freedom came into my life once I learned the difference between who I am responsible for vs. who I am responsible to. That is its own article yet, for now, I’ll just say that you are responsible for yourself and, if you have children who aren’t adults, them. Everyone else, there are levels of accountability on the “to” point. Work that out for yourself and then move accordingly.
4. You Barely Have Any Boundaries Where They Are Concerned
GiphyI truly debated mentioning this one first because folks who choose not to honor your boundaries? And then you let them continue to do so? Oh, they sho ‘nuf have far too much access to you. Because I grew up with family members who moved like this, it was a long time before I realized that I don’t need to defend, explain, or justify WHY I set the limits that I do — and if I choose to expound, that is also privileged information because it’s certainly not a right for you to know why I decide for you to only have but so much space in my world.
To tell you the truth, that’s a big part of the reason why I continue to not have any social media accounts. Because I share so much of myself in my writing, I’m not interested in giving people I don’t even know the impression that they are entitled to know additional stuff about me or that they can ask certain things of me simply because they follow me on an IG page. I also have to be very careful with my clients in the sense that, although I am pretty casual in my approach, sometimes they have to be reminded that this is a work relationship, not a friendship; therefore, feeling like they should have access to me outside of our sessions isn’t accurate. Free time is for personal relationships.
Yet folks respecting boundaries goes way beyond that. When you tell people “no” or even “wait,” watch how they respond or react. If they’re irritated, or triggered or they try to get you to explain why you won’t do what they want (or why you won’t do it when they want you to), this is another example of them not respecting your boundaries. Indeed, as author Emma Gannon once said, “The only people who get upset when you start setting boundaries are the ones who benefited from you not having them.” Pass the plate. 10 times.
5. The Mere Thought of Them Drains You
GiphySometime last year, three different people told me the exact same thing about one person: they don’t like to answer their calls because it is mentally and emotionally draining to do so. I know this individual and so I can vouch for the fact that it’s not because they aren’t smart, funny, or engaging — it’s just that (especially when they get a couple of drinks in them) they really should get into some therapy because they are also bitter about many things, they’re emotionally stagnant about several experiences and they seem to focus on their problems far more than working to find real and lasting solutions. And people like that? BOY ARE THEY DRAINING.
We all have moments when we need someone to listen to us vent. Still, sometimes shouldn’t be all of the time and they definitely shouldn’t try to make you feel bad when you simply don’t have the ear or shoulder to give. People who do?
You already know what I’m going to say — they definitely have way too much access to you because if they think that you should be their on-call counselor? Not only are they a form of an energy vampire, but they are also kind of manipulating you. I say this because people should be grateful when others make time for their issues, problems, and concerns; they never should demand someone’s compassion, empathy, or energy. Again, only energy vampires roll that way — and those people are absolutely exhausting on every level. For your own sanity, monitor how much access they have to you.
6. They Don’t Respect Your Time
GiphyMy damn twenties, boy. One day (hopefully soon), I’m going to write an article about how one of the biggest mistakes that young people make is thinking that 20-30 is when they should just jack off time and be reckless with their lives. For now, though, I’ll give an example of how I was back then — and how I was someone who didn’t respect other people’s time.
Back in the day, there was a couple in my life who also had a family, and boy, was I notorious for making plans with them…and then breaking them — without warning too. I mean that I would literally say that I am on my way for (say) dinner and then never show or call. Then when they would call me to see if I was okay and also tell me how foul I was for doing that, I would have the nerve to be irritated.
Immature. Selfish. Way too accessible to their lives. I was all of these things.
People who are constantly late. People who don’t keep appointments. People who are always making last-minute changes, who have a flippant attitude about your schedule, and/or will dismiss your need for time or space (for whatever the reason) — these are all examples of them not respecting your time which ultimately means that they don’t respect you…which also means that they have way too much access to you. Because why should someone be permitted into the time, effort, energy, and resources that you have to offer if they don’t even act as if your time and your being are valuable to them?
7. You Give More to Them than Your Damn Self
GiphyLet’s wrap this up with the fact that a healthy relationship has a healthy balance of give and take. That said, y’all, I used to be a bit of a tit-for-tat kind of person. What finally made me stop was realizing that I was acting that way because I was in a series of relationships where I was doing most of the giving. These days? My relationships are so seamless when it comes to reciprocity that, although my friends and I oftentimes give differently, we are there for each other, PERIOD.
One example of this is when my house burned down a few years back and then I lost one of my main paying gigs a month later, a friend of mine gave a generous amount towards the deposit of where I now live. It wasn’t a loan, it was a gift. Then, several months later, when they talked to me about needing to hire an assistant to do their scheduling and book some hotels while they were on the road, I volunteered to do it for free…indefinitely. If we were “measuring” things, I “paid off my debt” within the first three months of taking that on and that was years ago. Yet that isn’t the point: the point is that they came through when I needed them and I am here to do the same.
If when you think about your own relationships, there are people who you can’t feel this confident about, THEY HAVE WAY TOO MUCH ACCESS TO YOU. Even access should have some give and take to it — not just people who you grant permission to benefit from you while they refuse (because it is ALWAYS) a choice to do the same.
___
A dictionary definition of access is “the ability, right, or permission to approach, enter, speak with, or use.” A part of what comes with having self-respect is realizing that you have the power to decide who gets to approach you, enter into your life, speak to you, and utilize you.
Now that you see those who need to be “reeled back” some, what are you going to do about it?
For those who need access denied, that’s not a bad thing. It is a form of self-preservation.
One that you won’t regret. I can vouch for that a billion times over.
Happily and peacefully so.
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