Is There A Such Thing As A Genuine F*ckboy?
After a hiatus, I decided that I would give the dating world another try after much contemplating. Honestly, I wasn't too excited to dive back in after hearing horror stories from my single friends. The dating world was just as I'd left it...complicated. Their most frequented ways of being contacted were still via social media, and the timeframe of a man asking them for pictures that weren't already posted on social media after a decent conversation was 1.2 hours. Is this what I had to look forward to?
It was one thing to be open to dating, it was another to actually be approached at the right time by the right guy.
On a recent mini vacation to see a friend, I was approached by several men within a 48-hour period. I can't lie, the trip helped me in more ways than one. It confirmed I wasn't completely invisible and men still approached women. I learned that while most f*ckboys are easy to spot, others have perfected setting themselves apart by becoming the "genuine f*ckboy".
What's a Genuine F*ckboy, you ask?
He's the guy that comes off sincere until you truly dissect his words and intentions. For instance, he'll replace complimenting your looks with the new cliché, "I like your vibe" or "I like your energy". I'm sure I'd heard that at least five times on my short trip from the men I met. He thinks this makes him stand out from the other guys that are only attracted to your physical attributes. Trust me, he is attracted to you if he approached you.
I quickly noticed that the Genuine F*ckboy likes to skip or even rush steps. He'll quickly try to point out that you have a connection before you can even establish a true one. Somehow, he skates past the stage of first becoming friends. He's smooth and swift with his words. He speaks of plans for the future such as vacations, five-year plans, and romanticized gestures all before you've gone on your first official date. It's almost as if he's rehearsed his lines a hundred times before getting to you. Initially, you can get swept away at the thought of it all. Genuine F*ckboys tend to lay it on thick with the flattery.
The Genuine F*ckboy tends to have a good job.
He is taking care of business. In fact, he may have his own business. He's successful in his own lane, ambitious, money-conscious, and checks a few other boxes on your list. However, he tends to use his "busyness" to be conveniently unavailable when it counts. Of course, he'll have a grand gesture to try and make up for it, but what's the real reason he can't keep to a commitment? He commits to his trips with friends, he commits to showing up to work on time, he even commits to his car note and mortgage that he pays monthly ON TIME. Yet, he hasn't deemed you to be in favor of receiving a respectable time commitment. It always has to be convenient for him, otherwise things can become flaky. Often, his job is the number one excuse. And who wants to argue about his proactive ambitions? Not a woman who respects a man and his hustle. As a result, you fall silent.
The Genuine F*ckboy isn't always aware that he is one.
Because he is sometimes highly sought by women, he gives himself a pat on the back comparing himself to other men that he feels are subpar to him economically. He isn't looking for a handout from you. He has graduated past asking you juvenile questions such as your favorite color, food, and drink because he knows how to start and continue good conversation. Yes, ladies, it is flattering. But let's be honest, it is part of his charm. While you may enjoy the dates, the flowers sent to your job, and the couples' game nights hosted at your best friend's house, you realize this man still hasn't mentioned having an exclusive relationship with you. If you mention it, he says that you guys should just go with the flow because things are going good. This is in alignment of typical F*ckboy behavior.
The Genuine F*ckboy leaves you dwelling in limbo and yet you don't push the subject further because he brings more to the table than most of the men you dated in the past two years combined. While he may be skipping steps in order to Netflix and chill at your place after two weeks, communicate mostly through text for his convenience, or rapidly fire off questions to rightfully gauge your sanity, exclusivity isn't a hurdle he's leaping to get over. You realize this isn't going anywhere and quickly become stagnant.
Before you know it, you realize that he's nothing more than an F*ckboy that has managed to reinvent himself to stand amongst all the rest.
Perhaps in the future, he'll shed his F*ckboy demeanor and become a great partner, but we aren't waiting around for that day to come. In the meantime, we'll thank him for the dinner date, the midday text message exchanges, and the conversations that have reminded us to never forget to ask the important questions all while we move on. We won't allow him to waste our time, nor will we waste his. No one is perfect and we all have room to grow, but let's be fair and remember that we are no more than F*ckgirls if we're allowing a man to pay for dates and waste his spare time if we know we have no intentions of things going further.
Though newly open to the idea of dating, I've learned that a lot of things haven't changed. Now I know to watch out for the seemingly Genuine F*ckboy.
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CB Nicole is a millennial whose passion to live a God-led life has inspired her to use her life lessons and messes to inspire others. Each unpredictable day makes for a new unpredictable journey that she's ready to conquer.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
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This Carnival Queen's Beauty Secret To Clear Skin Is Good Health
In About Face, xoNecole gets the 411 on IGers who give us #skincaregoals on a daily. Here they break down their beauty routines on the inside and out, as well as the highly coveted products that grace their shelves and their skin.
Xenia Douglas knows all too well what it’s like to keep up with beauty and skincare routines. In 2022, she became Miss Saint Lucia Carnival Queen and proudly represented what it means to be a true beauty inside and out. Although she confidently wears her crown while encouraging others, she also has had her ups and downs with skincare.
Douglas struggled with adult acne during the pandemic. “I spent about six months researching and trying to figure it out on my own, and given how I was eating at the time, I soon discovered that there was a relationship between food and how it affects my skin,” Douglas said. This discovery leads her to change her eating habits. Opting for healthier food options and finding balance with non-healthy options.
In what seemed like no time, she began seeing a major change in her skin and taking her skincare more seriously. This led to her reflecting on how she cared for her skin growing up. “There was a time when I used to go to bed with makeup, like every day, and my skin suffered because of it."
“There was a time when I used to go to bed with makeup, like every day, and my skin suffered because of it."
Like many of us, Douglas had no education in skincare, and she put her skin through the ringer by trying too many different skincare products. Reflecting on her mistakes helped to form a better relationship with caring for her skin. “Now that I’m older, I understand the importance of finding the right products for my skin type. I love using sunscreen and products that protect my skin barrier. That experience assisted me in garnering youthful-looking skin,” Douglas added.
Courtesy
These days, Douglas' morning routine is as realistic as it gets. She’s rushing to get ready for a long day at work. Still, she always finds time to fit in a glass of water and her skincare routine. Even amid morning stress, her routine never becomes tiresome. As she prepares for the day, her mother’s wisdom runs through her mind: “'Looking young never gets old,' my mom always said to me!”
Douglas enjoys indulging in Korean skincare products that hydrate the skin. Some mornings, she will combine her skincare routine with a workout. “I love going on runs and Pilates. I’ve always preferred a more toned and slender look, so the strength training and cardio combo is a 10 out of 10.”
“I love going on runs and Pilates. I’ve always preferred a more toned and slender look, so the strength training and cardio combo is a 10 out of 10.”
Douglas' journey to clear skin has become a health transformation. She’s changed her eating habits, worked out, and prioritizes caring for her skin on her busiest days. It’s no wonder she is now a representation of beauty. To her, beauty isn’t just about the products we use but the daily habits we implement to feel good.
Here are the products Douglas uses day and night to keep glowing all day long:
Xenia's Morning Skincare Routine:
Step 1: CeraVe Cleanser
CeraVe
"I use the CeraVe cleansers (either the Salicylic Acid, foaming, or Hydrating Cleanser). I pretty much rotate between these three depending on what my skin is calling for that day.”
Step 2: Innisfree Green Tea Toner
Amazon
"In 2020, I started learning more about Korean skincare, and it propelled me to begin using water-based toners as opposed to alcohol-based toners. Given that alcohol-based toners are more of an astringent and can cause more harm than good, the switch to a water-based toner, specifically my Innisfree Green Tea toner, has done wonders in hydrating and supporting my skin."
Step 3: Soon Jung Hydro Barrier Cream
Soon Jung
"When I moisturize, I don’t just use a basic moisturizer. I use a moisture barrier cream! As I mentioned before, I am an advocate for Korean skincare, as it is quite hydrating. So, I use moisturizers that shield my skin from irritants, friction, or drying out. My favorite is the Soon Jung Hydro Barrier Cream. It’s amazing!”
Step 4: Supergoop! Unseen Sunscreen
Supergoop!
“I try not to miss a day when it comes to my sunscreen. I use the Supergoop! Unseen Sunscreen, particularly on the days I’m on the road or outside."
Xenia's Nighttime Skincare Routine:
Step 1: COSRX Snail Mucin Serum
COSRX
“I normally use a hydrating serum on days when my skin feels dry, or I notice some texture. It’s extremely moisturizing."
Step 2: COSRX Snail Mucin Moisturizer
COSRX
"I follow up with this moisturizer when I use the COSRX Serum. They’re quite the dynamic duo.”
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