

Your Skin Is BEGGING You To Do This Right About Now
OK so, every season, without fail, our skin needs a little tweaking when it comes to our skincare routine. And now that things are finally at the point where we wake up and there is frost on our car windows and we need to put an extra blanket on our bed at night, I thought I would share a list of 10 things that your skin is really needing you to take note of right now, so that it remains looking fresh, soft and beautiful all fall and winter long.
All of these tips are affordable. All of them are easy to implement. And all of these are proven to be highly effective as well. So, definitely make sure to treat your skin to them, OK? Cool (no pun intended).
1. Beeswax
With inclement winter weather comes cold temps, brisk winds, and all kinds of other stuff that can take your skin all the way through there. Something that can help to protect it is beeswax (a kind of wax that is literally created by honeybees). That's because it contains properties that can help to provide a protective layer on your skin. Plus, it acts as a humectant which means that beeswax is capable of pulling moisture out of the air so that your skin doesn't become too dry. This is especially good to know if you're someone who struggles with chapped lips during this time of the year or you have a skin condition like psoriasis. If you want to learn how to make your own face cream out of beeswax, go here. For a lip balm recipe, go here.
2. Sunscreen
Until I went to college, when it came to my education, I was around white folks most of the time. And chile, if there's one thing that they literally lived to do, it was going snow skiing in their swimsuits. It might sound crazy but whenever they came to school that following Monday, they always had a really deep tan.
My biggest takeaway from that was UV rays don't stop doing their thing just because there may be a drop in temperature. This is why it's important to still wear sunscreen; especially if you know that you're going to be outdoors for more than 30 minutes or so. In fact, whether you realize it or not, the sun reflecting on the snow can actually intensify the rays. So, if you don't have a fresh bottle or tube of sunscreen in your house, now is a good of a time as any to get yourself one (check out "Here Are 10 Black Girl-Friendly Sunscreens That Will Keep You Glowing This Spring").
3. Rosemary Oil
Two of the best things that have ever happened to my skin are sulfur soap (it's a really great skin exfoliant and a way to even out your skin tone) and rosemary oil. As far as beauty goes, rosemary oil is really good for your hair because it can stimulate growth, kill fungi and bacteria that may irritate your scalp, and help to prevent hair loss. Skin-wise, it's bomb because it helps to increase blood circulation, reduce stress, hydrate your skin, balance out how much sebum your skin produces and, because of the antibacterial properties that it contains, rosemary oil can also help to fight and even prevent breakouts from occurring. Plus, it gives your skin a natural radiant glow. I'm telling you, if you're looking for an oil that will help to keep your skin looking and feeling super smooth, rosemary oil never disappoints.
4. DIY Hyaluronic Acid Serum
A couple of years ago, when I wrote the article "All-Natural Ways To Keep Your Skin Super Soft This Fall & Winter" for the platform, something that I mentioned was the importance of making your own hyaluronic acid serum. Today, I'm circling back to that because it can't be stressed enough, just how much this kind of acid can help to boost collagen production (which can help to keep your skin looking fresh and youthful) and how essential putting some type of serum on your skin is too. As far as serums go, because they are lighter than standard moisturizers, they aren't as likely to clog up your pores. Plus, they tend to be filled with concentrated ingredients that are able to penetrate your skin a lot faster. So, if you're looking for a way to reduce dullness and discoloration, especially as your face and neck are concerned, serums are awesome — whether you go the DIY route (there's a recipe for it here) or choose to pick one up from a drugstore or cosmetics counter.
5. A Jojoba and Grapeseed Oil Blend
If you're someone who wants to "spoil" your skin by either pouring some oil into your bathwater or putting some on before heading to bed, you really can't go wrong with a jojoba and grapeseed oil combo. Jojoba oil is good for your skin because it contains antibacterial properties, antioxidants and it's hypoallergenic; plus, it's the kind of oil that controls sebum production, promotes collagen synthesis, and deeply nourishes dry skin. Grapeseed oil pampers your skin because it's packed with linoleic acid and vitamin E that will deeply condition your skin and protect it from environmental damage. Also, grapeseed oil helps to fight acne, reduce inflammation and minimize fine lines and wrinkles too. So, I'm sure you can see why/how blending these two together creates an unstoppable beauty blend.
6. Cream-Based Cleansers and Cosmetics
If there's one word that you need to hold near and dear to your heart as far as skincare goes right through here, it's "cream." Creams are a thicker version of cleansers and cosmetics which can be a good thing when it comes to caring for your skin when it's colder outside. A cream-based cleanser will help to hydrate your skin. A cream-based moisturizer at night time can help to replace the moisture that your skin may have lost throughout the day. And, as far as make-up goes, a cream-based concealer or foundation (for example) can help to keep your skin looking dewy (which is always attractive) instead of dull and dry.
7. Herbal Tea Rinse
I grew up with a mother who drank quite a bit of herbal tea, so it's always something that's been a part of my health routine on some level (check out "10 'Uncommon' Teas You Should Add To Your Stash (& Why)" and "8 Teas That Are Really Good For Your Vaginal Health"). As far as your skin goes, treating it to an herbal tea rinse once a week can be great because a lot of herbs contain nutrients, amino acids, and catechins that are beneficial when it comes to slowing down the aging process. If you're new to the whole herbal tea rinse thing, some teas to start out with include white tea (it helps to rejuvenate your skin); spearmint tea (it's great at combating hormonal acne); chamomile tea (it protects skin from sun damage); rooibos (it helps to fight off free radicals) and dandelion (it's a top-tier detoxifier).
Just put a couple of tea bags into a pot of water, let the bags steep for an hour, cool, and then apply to your skin as you would a toner. You should notice results within a couple of weeks.
8. Satin Liners
Wool is a popular fabric around this time of year. It's also one that can totally dry your skin out. So, whether it's in your mittens, a sweater, or vintage wool pants, make sure there is a satin lining inside of them. That way, your skin will not dry out or become irritated. Also, make sure to thoroughly moisturize your skin before putting any wool on. Shea butter is a good move because it's rich in nutrients, contains anti-inflammatory properties and it's literally able to boost your skin's moisture levels.
9. Shorter Showers
If nothing brings you more joy than putting on some slow jams and standing in a hot shower until at least half of an album plays out, believe you me, I totally get it. Still, if you want your skin to remain soft and smooth, that is not the route for you. The reality is that hot water zaps moisture. That's why it's best to spend no more than 10 minutes in the shower and, when you do, that the temp is lukewarm at best (sorry). Also, make sure that you "seal your skin" once you get out. Basically, that consists of putting some type of carrier oil (like jojoba, sweet almond, avocado, coconut, black seed, argan, or rosehip), so that it can "lock in" the water, so that your skin remains hydrated longer.
10. A Lower Thermostat
Something else that I grew up being used to is a house that was on the cooler side, even during the fall and winter seasons. While sometimes it irked me to constantly need socks and a blanket, I get that 1) lower temperatures help to keep energy bills from getting totally out of control and 2) cold is what helps to keep germs from multiplying and getting totally out of hand. Know what else? When you keep the rooms of your house somewhere between 65-72 degrees, that keeps the dry heat from your HVAC from drying out your skin and lips; especially if you turn on a humidifier at night. All good reasons to make sure that your thermostat gets nowhere close to 80. Make sure that you do. Your skin is literally begging you to.
Featured image by Getty Images
- These Foods Will Give Your Skin & Hair The Moisture They Crave ›
- 10 Hot Drinks To Keep You Warm This Fall & Winter ›
- 7 Herbs To Get You Through The Winter Season ›
- 7 Things You Didn't Know Were Keeping Your Lips Dry - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks) when you just wanted to lay in bed, turn off your brain, turn on your favorite TV show, and do absolutely nothing? Besides the occasional run to the bathroom or to get up and replenish your snack rotation, your bed is the only place you want to be for hours on end. You might find yourself mindlessly scrolling between social media and then dozing off for a couple of hours, only to wake up and do it all again — but is there really any shame in that?
Our beds have a way of providing us with a sense of peace, protection, and rest away from the demands of our everyday life, and a new TikTok trend is highlighting the benefits of this counter-culture, yet pleasurable form of rest.
Bed rotting, a TikTok trend that has garnered over 204.1M views, is essentially taking long periods for hyper-focused rest and downtime. It’s the act of doing absolutely nothing at all except for being in your bed for an extended period of time, with limited mobility, productivity, or activity.
This “anti-productivity” take on self-care does have its benefits, as one sleep scientist, Vanessa Hill, claims in a TikTok video that as you “waste away underneath your blanket… nothingness is your best friend.”
@braincraft In defence of #inbedrotting because it’s perfect 🛌💙 #lifehack #bedrot #bedrotting #bed #bedroomtok #sleepscientist #fyp
Since resting has, for a long time, been associated with “laziness' and the guilt that comes with that, bed rotting now offers the tired and restless a reason to recharge and recoup without feeling guilty for it.
The need for passive activities like bed rotting also points to the perpetual burnout that many millennials and Gen Zers are experiencing from the demands of work, family, school, and sustaining their livelihood despite the stress that it collectively produces. With so much pressure to be productive, even while we’re resting, these moments of self-care can be the reset button you need to feel reinvigorated enough to take on life’s responsibilities.
But just like with every wellness trend, it’s important to ask yourself why you’re bed rotting.
@drjessigold I learned about folks #coping by being #inbedrotting …here are some thoughts #mentalhealth #burnout #sleep #stress
When we’re anxious or stressed out about the pressure of our everyday lives, we can turn to sleep as a means to avoid the problem in hopes that it will go away. Because of this, Jessi Gold, MD, MS, assistant professor of psychiatry at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, shares in one TikTok that the lines between healthy bed rotting and depression can be blurred. “Are you sleeping because you don’t want to be awake because of stress and anxiety, or the things you have to do, or are you sleeping because you actually need it,” she states in the video.
Because bed rotting and depressive episodes can present themselves in similar ways, like oversleeping and fatigue, it’s advised to monitor your bed rotting to ensure that it doesn’t extend beyond a day or two, as any longer can be a sign of depression, and to seek professional support.
While there is no “perfect” or “right” way to give your body and mind the TLC and self-care that it may need, there are ways to make your bed rotting more restorative beyond media intake and sleep — unless you enjoy that, of course.
For instance, while in bed, take some time to get cozy with a book that doesn’t focus on self-help or “shadow work.” Get lost in the pages of a dramatic romance or even a coloring book where you can use your mind without actually using it. Or maybe even turn on some lo-fi or ambient music to meditate in bed for 45 minutes to an hour, where you’re truly unplugging with breathwork. Or, if you simply want to be on TikTok for a few hours, put a timer on so that you have a stop and start time that allows you to scroll in moderation.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with bed rotting if that’s the kind of rest you’re in need of. As we undo the society’s programming that tells us that rest is a reward for how productive we’ve been, remember that rest isn’t something you have to earn; it’s something you do because your body needs and deserves it.
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Featured image by Goodboy Picture Company/Getty Images