

Netflix's Latest Viewing Pleasure Is About Building Your Dream Sex Room
I’m one of those people who has a song in mind for almost any keyword said in a sentence. It’s a gift and curse, to my friends and my readers. Today’s song was “Sex Room” by Ludacris and however annoying it might be, I’m excited to get into it with you all. Netflix’s recently dropped a new series – How To Build a Sex Room – which is for sure the adult HGTV series I never knew I needed. But it’s so much better than any HGTV series and honestly better than anything I could’ve anticipated.
The show explores making practical sex rooms for those who will be using them. And a sex room doesn’t always mean cold, dungeon vibes. No! Instead, part of what makes the show great is that they meet people where they are and really take into account the purpose or intended use for the sex rooms, in addition to personality. You get a good variety of luxuries mixed with the feelings of home.
And while I’m not going to spoil the show, I do want to get into what and why someone might need a sex room. Maybe you want one for yourself or maybe you’re someone who passed the preview of this show and wondered, “What’s the point?” If so, keep reading.
Reasons to Consider Having a Sex Room
(L to R) Ryan, Raj, Melanie Rose in episode 102 of How To Build a Sex Room.
Courtesy of Netflix
1. Parental Control and Boundaries
Parents who co-sleep with their children may find it difficult to maintain an air of sexiness in the very room they once created their children in. Though we might say at a certain age parents should set boundaries, realistically keeping your child in their own room is not a boundary that’s always possible. That said, parents might opt for a sex room in order to rejuvenate themselves back into the seductive period of courting prior to having children. Sometimes the boundary setting is simply a matter of changing the setting and opting for privacy in other, less seemingly dismissive ways. This can be accomplished with a sex room.
2. Separation of Home and Sex
While not every sex room is dungeon-style, some are. And regardless of the aesthetic, there may be people who wish to keep their preferred kinks as private as possible. I can’t count on one hand how many times I’ve forgotten to put away my vibrator and someone walks into my home only to see it on the coffee table. And that’s a normalized part of sex…masturbation. However, imagine having someone walk into your home and you forgot to put away your flogger or box of butt plugs, and so on? The sex room helps to provide an extra layer of privacy. Not because you wish to be secretive or feel shameful, but because keeping certain parts of your life separate from others is good form as far as boundaries go. Plus, it can be really sexy to have this part of your home where only you and your lovers exist.
3. Sex, Staycation Style
The monotony of being home and having sex in the same way, in the same place can sometimes be…annoying. But also coming across safe spaces to play with your partner can be equally…annoying. Having one at home allows you to escape the day-to-day without incurring the fees associated with sex clubs. Furthermore, there’s this unspoken rule of exclusivity where you really have to know the right people in order to find kink scenes in certain cities. Having your own sex room eliminates the need for that as you create your own.
Courtesy of Netflix
4. Swinging Made Easy
If one of your kinks is swinging, a sex room might just be mandatory. Not every city has swingers clubs and in my experience when they do have swingers clubs they aren’t always diverse (age and race-wise). But having a sex room in your home allows you to host other couples consensually, thus minimizing the requirement of having to find a couple to swing with in exclusive spaces.
5. Safe Spaces and Such
For those who are into kink and wish to try out new gadgets and contraptions, I encourage you to do so safely. But hold please, because in this case, the safety I’m speaking of is more towards reading the requirements for hanging your equipment from walls and ceilings. Because this can be necessary for swings and such, some couples may opt for a sex room in an area in their house where the ceilings are more conducive to that type of sex gear – like the basement.
The bottom line is there are many reasons that people may want sex rooms. However, I think in any case it comes down to having a safe space to be able to reconnect or even connect with ourselves in ways that weren’t made possible (for whatever reason) beforehand.
If this appeals to you, you may be wondering how to create a sex room for yourself, especially after watching the Netflix series How to Build a Sex Room. Here are some ways.
- Self-Survey: Remember A.S.L via Aim? You should and if you don’t you’re far too young to be reading this article. But similar to that, you want to get a quick and dirty rundown of what you're looking for out of your sex room. So, in this case, A.S.L stands for "agenda, sex, and location."
- Agenda – What do you wish to get out of this sex room? What is your why?
- Sex – What type of sex or touch do you intend to have in this space? How do you intend to utilize this space? Is it a swinging space, or one that is just for you and bae? Do you want to explore new kinks or are you pretty airtight on the things you want to try?
- Location – Where in your home do you envision this work of art being crafted? Are we keeping it in the bedroom or do we want it somewhere covert?
(L to R) Ryan, Raj, Melanie Rose in episode 101 of How To Build a Sex Room.
Courtesy of Netflix
- DIY or For Hire: This one is rather simple. Hmm, on second thought, if you’re someone who doesn’t understand limitations, like me, you might have a difficult time realistically gauging how to go about building your sex room. Nevertheless, you must decide if this is something you want to pull a “do it yourself” with or if it requires you to hire a contractor. Perhaps a combination of the two – it simply depends on the answers to the first two questions.
- Secret Shopper: Purchase the toys you’ll need to fill this space. However don’t get caught up like a kid at Christmas, as we want this space to be fulfilling but efficient – not cluttered. You might consider creating a list of must-haves to get you started and then creating a secondary. Wishlist.
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Featured image courtesy of Netflix
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
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I Stopped Wearing Acrylics, And My Natural Nails Got Longer And Healthier Than Ever
Like most teenage girls, my first acrylic nail set felt like a right of passage. I was 17 years old, and it was the morning of my junior prom. I went with a long square silhouette, a lightly colored base coat topped with swirling white airbrushed designs on each fingernail ---a very early 2000-esque homage. After years of only being allowed to wear press-on nails around the house, I remember sitting in the chair, trying my best to hold in the excitement and anticipation of my first professional full set.
From that moment, I was hooked. Throughout my adult life, I developed a love-hate relationship with visiting the nail salon faithfully every two to three weeks.
After years of acrylic extensions, I began to notice how damaged and brittle my natural nails were becoming in between sets. Once the process became too painful and upkeep seemed to be causing more harm than good, I began to seek alternatives that would allow my real nails to grow healthy, strong, and just as long but without extensions.
One day, a friend came back from Paris raving about her latest experience receiving a hard gel manicure while abroad. After hearing her testimony and seeing how long her natural nails had grown in such a short time, I did more research to learn what exactly went into this gel that she couldn’t stop raving about.
Skeptical of the many nail trends and techniques, I became frustrated trying to keep up with the latest innovations, and this seemed to be just another trend. However, fully determined and striving for longer lengths and stronger nails without the awful nail enhancements, I finally decided to give the hard gel a try.
I tried just about everything as an alternative, from gel polish to Gel-X; however, nothing seemed to get the results I was looking for.
After removing my acrylics, I began my natural nail journey with short and brittle nails. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to see major improvements. Within the first 30 days, I saw how fast my nails were growing and how strong they were becoming.
Keep scrolling to see my nail journey from the beginning and why hard gel has convinced me to leave nail extensions in the past for good.
Acrylic Nails - July 2022
Courtesy of Shahirah Ahmed
Courtesy of Shahirah Ahmed
Hard Gel Manicure - February 2023
Courtesy of Shahirah Ahmed
Hard Gel Manicure - March 2023
Courtesy of Shahirah Ahmed
Hard Gel Manicure - April 2023
Courtesy of Shahirah Ahmed
What Is Hard Gel?
Also known as builder gel, hard gel can be used to deliver a protective coating to cover the natural nails, making them feel harder, stronger, and more flexible. This innovative nail enhancement can be molded, shaped, and refilled by being cured or hardened in a UV light rather than through evaporating solvents like acrylic. Hard gel is not gel polish, shellac, soft gel, or soak-off gel; however, you can put gel polish over hard gel for a nice finish and designs if you’re feeling fancy.
Along with more strength and durability, the hard gel is excellent at protecting natural nails, making them less likely to break or crack over time.
According to nailpro.com, hard gel is an acrylic alternative, and you can use hard gel to overlay natural nails, sculpt extensions and repair broken nails. The site also suggests hard gel is perfect for clients who are transitioning from acrylic, who want to strengthen their natural nails, or who have weak and brittle nails that need more support and structure. Also, if you are removing acrylic, hard gel is the best product to provide more support as you transition.
Hard Gel - June 2023
Courtesy of Shahirah Ahmed
The Benefits of Hard Gel
What I love most about the application of hard gel is how quickly I’m in and out of the salon chair. A method that takes about an hour from start to finish, it’s extremely quick compared to the time it takes to apply acrylic. Another bonus of hard gel is that you can fill it in, just like you would acrylic, which is ideal for those of us who rather not soak off our nails every service. Unlike many gel methods, hard gel cannot be taken off by acetone which is one reason it's so durable and why its properties help protect the natural nail.
As previously mentioned, this is also a good service for those who want to grow their natural nails to longer lengths while keeping them strong and healthy, which is why I personally made the switch. Long, healthy natural nails are definitely a flex. Along with efficiency and time, hard gel is also more cost-effective, starting at $70---cheaper than a full set of acrylic nails.
I’m also not booking nail appointments every two weeks because hard gel can last up to six weeks without needing a fill or even getting a chip.
Healthy Nails - July 2023
Courtesy of Shahirah Ahmed
With patience and determination, my nails have achieved my wildest dreams. A year later, my nails are now at a length I thought was only achievable with artificial enhancements, and I couldn't be happier. Hard gel has become a staple in my self-care routine, and I don’t plan to give it up any time soon.
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Featured image by Pavlina Popovska/Getty Images