Quantcast
Ladies, You're Not Going To Survive The Rest Of 2020 Without These Group Chats
Shutterstock

Ladies, You're Not Going To Survive The Rest Of 2020 Without These Group Chats

Lord, we are tired. We tired, Lord.

Life & Travel

Lord, we are tired. We tired, Lord. We've made it to the fall season and we don't know if we can handle anymore, Lord.

If you haven't realized, there's only three more months remaining in this year! We've almost made it through the gauntlet—2020, you're almost gone, sis!

And for my Debbie-Downers, yes, I know that doesn't mean our problems are going to magically disappear, and yes, I know that COVID is still jigging all over the place. But sometimes a girl has got to look at the positives, m'kay?

And I don't know about you, but seriously, in addition to keeping my mind healthy, if it weren't for my variety of group chats, at this point, I would be questioning 2 + 2 (because after this year, the answer damn sure isn't 4 anymore)—which got me to thinking: in a distanced society, how can we make sure we tighten up what we allow to penetrate our minds?

The best way? Solid, focused communication; no distractions. No BS. All support.

According to GroupMe research, 43% of people feel like pop culture, and/or memes, are the only topics discussed in their group chats. Um, ew. No, ma'am. There's no better time than now to tighten up what we allow to nourish us mentally. It's becoming a twilight zone out there.

So, a list of group chats that you're gonna need to finish out this year are these:

Neighborhood

Shutterstock

Listen, it takes a village. And this oddly seems to be a lost art. Ladies, I know that some things may not be our business, and you're right, it's not. But bottom line, you need to know what is going on in your neighborhood. And not in a "Karen" way, but more so in a "Claire Huxtable" way, especially if you have kids. Get to know your neighbors, don't frown at an invite. You can't be everywhere, so it takes a village (there goes that saying again) to protect all of your assets. Additionally, your sense of community lies here.

If you're not interested in joining a direct conversational tool for your neighborhood, seek out Facebook groups or pages. You should not solely rely on the news, join an additional form of communication. Now, stop being anti- and go ahead and wave at Judy, sis!

Finance 

Apple split its stock.

This natural resource company may be interesting to invest in.

Make sure to complete your trust.

Roth IRA vs. 401K?

I'm thinking of putting an offer in on this three-flat.

Add your child as an authorized user to your credit cards to build their credit by the time they leave the home.

Girls, we're all getting older. And the above, are the type of conversations that we need to be having sooner than not. Money is a tricky subject because so many don't understand it. And even then, to be honest, there's so much that we don't know. Link with like-minded people who understand money. And I don't mean fraud or get-rich-quick schemes, I mean those that are thoroughlydiscussing money. Mortgage rates, tax breaks, LLC formation, acquisitions, or optimizing investment funds and shareholders.

All the scary stuff. We need to know about it.

Good Reads

Shutterstock

Books will never go out of style. And learning the way of the world, won't either. Whether articles, or books, or audio, take the time to understand something. Order some books to escape reality. Or because of the stresses of society, seek books which allow you to suppress your anxiety. Whatever form you choose, do it. We can't champion this world alone. Book recommendations, or articles sent from friends are a love language. Indulge.

Cousins

As we age, what we've all mostly learned is that family is a tough code to break. Too many generations of not so progressive behaviors, generational curses, poor mental health practices, and so on and so forth (I could name like hundreds of different variables) run freely in everyone's family, but who else is responsible for keeping it together? It's us. Not to be confused with a family chat, but a cousin chat is necessary in those times when we need to organize what's to come. Where's Thanksgiving dinner this year? The family reunion? Do we have everything? Or our elders may need someone to reach out to for simply assistance on how the world works now. That obligation falls on our shoulders.

So, whether we want to or not, it is our job to keep the family in (somewhat) tact.

Everyone has had a turn to do so. It's ours now.

Prayer/Positivity

Shutterstock

Ladies, we need positivity. We need someone to speak life over us. We need celebration. We need a space where we can tell someone our good news. We need someone to stop us when we're gossiping. We need conversations where everyone was given the benefit of the doubt. We need prayer. We need spiritual guidance and protection...

The world is negative, society is negative. And that's only because we've allowed negative spirits and cynicism to take over. Be intentional in your thinking. Be intentional in conversation. And there's no time to just discuss it. Live it.

Active/Fitness & Health

Health is wealth, ladies. So, we have to prioritize our time to learn about ways to sustain our health. Vitamin recommendations, or weekly yoga classes. Workout classes or city fitness events. We have to find ways to stay on top of this. Or maybe you just need accountability without the nag. These type of group chats allow you to maintain activity in some form.

Plus, that blood pressure and cholesterol number is nothing to play with.

I recently joined a black bike club that rides regularly, which is all they look to do. They ask where you are if you miss a trip. They follow-up and follow-through. They challenge themselves, and they'll challenge you. A friend of mine runs a black women's hiking chapter. These are just two examples, there's a plethora of other ways to engage about fitness.

General Girlfriend Chat

Shutterstock

Now, you know the homies get a chat before anyone. Why? Because it's damn near necessary. We all have one, we all need one. The comfort, the comedy, the accountability. Crucial.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had bad days, or I've been enraged about something, and I ran to my friend chat to discuss. And instantly, everything had become OK. As women, we are always in our heads. Sometimes, we deserve moments where we can step outside of ourselves and hear, "Yeah, you're trippin', girl" or "Well, how did you feel about that?" Or hell, maybe you just want to tell a funny story. Whatever the case, your girlfriends' chat should always be there to catch whatever you're throwing.

And the best thing about your general girlfriend chat, is that you should easily—and fundamentally—be able to discuss all of the above too.

Join us in the xoTribe community and gain access to Mentor Mondays, bi-weekly workshops from our dating and career coaches, an archive of digital fireside chats, and virtual happy hours. Plus, connect with Necole, the xoNecole squad and a community of empowering women committed to being their best selves. Find your tribe today!

Featured image by Shutterstock

Ciara Opens Up About Growing Into Her Confidence & Gives Advice On Finding Your Equal

When you think about positive women in the music industry who can be looked to as role models, Ciara should come to mind. The wife, mother, and businesswoman have leveled up in all areas of her life and her story has served as an inspiration for many women. Fans have witnessed her growth from her “Goodies” days as the princess of Crunk&B to becoming an international superstar. Now, she has ventured into other spaces such as skin care, fashion, education, and more.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Meet The Holistic Approach To Periods That Can Transform Your Cycle

With more than 84% of women experiencing painful periods, there’s no wonder why “that time of the month” is filled with negative connotations. As someone who doesn’t fall into the 84% percent noted in that study, I can still attest to factors like age, stress, and lifestyle affecting my menstrual cycle and the way I experience my periods. Gone are the days when my symptoms peaked at salty and sweet cravings, and in its wake, I’ve been introduced to cramping, low estrogen levels, and a heavier flow than I’ve experienced in all my years of having a period. Where I used to look at my periods as a time of the month when was indifferent, I am now feeling the effects and I can only imagine how the other 84% of women reporting period pain go through (more power to y’all, for real).

Keep reading...Show less
Black Women's Equal Pay Day: 5 Real Solutions To Change The Game And Empower Ourselves

We all know that Black women, as educated, talented, and amazing as we are, have been paid and treated unequally in traditional workplaces for decades, especially when it comes to our pay.

Keep reading...Show less
Is Dating App Fatigue A Thing? An Expert Shares How To Avoid Feeling Burned Out

In an attempt to have a hot girl summer, I found my way back to the dating apps. After a bunch of swiping up, down, left, and right, I was left with several “matches” that would eventually need tending to. Sifting through the various profiles and sending screenshots to my friends seemed fun at first but quickly got overwhelming. The matches, the clever one-liners, and the need to keep up conversations with multiple men (especially after a long day at work) —it all became too much. Then once the novelty of messaging strangers wore off (plus one pretty bad Hinge date), I began avoiding the apps like the plague.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive: 'The Woman King' Cast Talks Sisterhood, Empowerment & Affirmations

Ever since the preview of The Woman King made its rounds on the internet earlier this year, leaving us in awe, we have been impatiently waiting for the film to make it to theaters. Well, the time has come, and we are honored we had the chance to preview the remarkable depiction of one of the most powerful states in Africa, Dahomey.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
A Black woman, Issa Rae, sits in a salon chair in a regal, lime green Prabal Gurung gown with cut outs on both sides of her chest and rib cage. The flowing short sleeves stop at her elbows. She delicately holds her fingers in her lap and stares directly into the camera. She's sitting in front of a mirror, with hair brushes behind her on the counter and a hot press stove

Cover Story: Issa Rae Comes Full Circle

xoNecole's inaugural digital cover star and natural hair icon talks community, Black trauma and what makes her feel loved.

Latest Posts