I think we all can agree that COVID-19 and social distancing is driving most of us insane. The current climate creates certain anxiety that I never imagined, from the extra pounds and Netflix binges to the 24-hour news cycle. As the number of cases continues to grow and unemployment is high as it's ever been, small businesses are taking a hit. Some are having a hard time looking at the glass half full.
I've been working in the healthcare field for six years, and no amount of school training would prepare us to endure this kind of commitment.
I work in the medical billing/claims processing department of a hospital where I am responsible for revenue that flows in and out of the hospital. We all need to keep in mind that the healthcare industry is a business. The doctors care about two things: 1) the health and well-being of their patients and 2) that they get paid accordingly after monitoring the health and well-being of their patients. So, unfortunately, my job doesn't stop. In these times, I have been forever grateful. I do have a job that allows me to earn a consistent income. However, though grateful, over the last few months, this experience has opened my mind to the possibilty of other career paths and living environments.
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The "lockdown" has either brought out the good in people or the nastiness in people. During this time, I made it a point to observe how my co-workers are handling things. From COVID to the ongoing racial injustice, I wanted to analyze the culture of my company. Prejudice and bigotry aren't a political issue. It is indeed, a social issue. Comments like "The rioting is ridiculous," or "They don't have to act like animals," really put a magnifying glass on people's character.
As a woman of color, I had to swallow my pride and continue to work. I've wanted to scream, cuss, and sometimes punch my co-workers while overhearing their opinions.
The timing of my firing wouldn't have been in my favor.
George Floyd and Breonna Taylor's deaths happened over two months ago. As of July 2020, my company is just now deciding to create diversity discussions that allow our voices to our opinions. I now know definitively that it's time to plan my exit. In addition to the tone-deaf instances I've faced on the racial side of the pandemic, as a workforce, I have also noticed my company is behind in continually keeping us up to date with COVID information and employee safety.
Although I like what I do and could probably do it with my eyes closed, deep down in the pit of my stomach, I know and I see the bigger picture of my life. And it isn't here.
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According to The Balance Careers, the average person changes jobs at least twelve times, and their career changes three to seven times in their lifetime. Lately, I've been receiving different signs that are confirmation that my mind and spirit are ready to endure the next phase of my career and the rest of my life. I am the most analytical person I've ever known. My indecisiveness has gotten in the way of me making decisions. I am the type of person who would lose sleep weighing out the pros and the cons and replaying every scenario in my head.
I've quickly realized that with no action, you won't move ahead. So, this is the first time I'm following my heart instead of my head.
My current department's camaraderie is scarce. The negativity, gossiping, and competition makes the environment tense and stressful. If you were to look up 'toxic' in the dictionary, my department is right there, just grinning. You have to ask yourself, is this worth it? Can your mind, body, and soul handle that type of environment?
With the help of my therapist, I've created an outline for this change. Free-writing has allowed me to paint the picture I want for myself. Asking questions such as:
- What is the ideal company you'd pictured?
- Do I want to work for anyone else?
- Do I see myself living in the same city?
Bottom line, I've been using this time to organize my thoughts and to educate myself on turning my passion into profit in hopes to transition into a career that I would enjoy. This time has allowed me to re-evaluate and make personal and professional changes in my life.
The life of my dreams is waiting for me to create it, and I am more positive and more disciplined like never before to put in the work to obtain it.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Eldest Daughter Syndrome had its viral moment online last year, and for good reason. The term gave language to the silent pressures so many eldest daughters tend to carry as a result of their birth order. Beyond that very needed conversation, birth order as a whole can offer insight into not only our traits and tendencies, but also how we show up in life, love, and even our work.
Below, we’re breaking down the traits most commonly associated with each birth order. Keep reading to learn what your birth order might say about you.
If you are the oldest...
Let's be real, being the firstborn often comes with a lot of responsibility. And it's usually not by choice. From early on, they’re the ones who set the tone, carry the weight, and take on the title of "the responsible one." Because of that, they often grow into reliable, high-achieving adults. But the pressure of being "the blueprint" and the one to "lead by example" can also be a heavy burden to bear.
Oldest child traits may look like:
- Natural leaders that take charge even when they didn’t mean to (read: she's bossy, but keeping it cute)
- High standards (for yourself and everyone else)
- Motivated, goal-oriented, and always chasing that next accomplishment
- Reliable and conscientious
- Perfectionist tendencies that can lead to burnout
- Struggles with being controlling or micromanaging
- Often cautious, craving stability over spontaneity
- Finds it hard to rest or ask for help
If you are the middle child...
Season 2 Netflix GIF by Gilmore Girls GiphyIn the grand scheme of the birth order lineup, the middle child can be the quiet MVPs. As the child who falls in the order "in-between," they’re used to being the one who keeps the peace while also fighting to stand out. But being the “in-between” can also mean feeling overlooked or forgotten. In some families, especially ones with toxic dynamics, the middle child may even take on the role of the "black sheep," while their siblings are seen as the golden children. Still, despite (or maybe because of) that, middle children tend to thrive socially and can read a room like the back of their hand.
Middle child traits may include:
- Top-tier peacemakers who can smooth over almost any situation
- Adaptable and easygoing (even when they’re lowkey screaming inside)
- Often feel overlooked or like they have to do the most to be seen
- People-pleasers who put everyone else first
- Social butterflies and community-minded, with strong friendships outside the family
- Can be rebellious when they feel boxed in
- Thrive when they’re allowed to define success on their own terms
- The ultimate go-between, translating vibes between generations, personalities, and moods
If you are the youngest...
Season 1 Ff GIF by FreeformGiphyThe baby of the family walks through life knowing how to charm, persuade, and perform. They often grow up with more freedom and fewer expectations, which fuels their adventurous and carefree side. But that same freedom can sometimes lead to entitlement, or a tendency to seek validation by being the "fun one."
Youngest child traits might include:
- Social butterflies who light up a room and don’t mind the spotlight
- Natural charmers, funny, flirtatious, and usually down for anything
- Can be a little self-centered or attention-seeking (but you still love them for it)
- Tend to keep things uncomplicated… unless they’re not getting their way
- Known to be manipulative when trying to get what they want
- Free-spirited and bold in their choices
- Often underestimated, but capable of big things when they focus
- Thrive in spaces that let them express, explore, and be a little extra
If you are the only child...
High School Drama GIF by HBO MaxGiphyOnly children can be the ultimate "one woman show" as they are often a mix of all the birth orders rolled into one. Without siblings, they learn to entertain themselves, advocate for their needs, and navigate adult conversations early. That independence can make them magnetic, mature, and deeply introspective, but it also comes with a deep craving for validation and control.
Only child traits can include:
- Mature and wise beyond their years, often viewed as old souls
- Conscientious and responsible, usually the go-to person in their circle
- Seek approval and validation more than they let on
- Natural leaders with big ideas and even bigger plans
- Can be sensitive and deeply affected by criticism
- Prefer structure, routines, and control (sometimes to a fault)
- Like things done their way (and don’t love compromising)
- Thrive in solitude but still want to feel seen and celebrated
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