

Now that the weather is finally starting to feel more like it should (being that it is officially fall 'n all), I thought it would be a stellar idea to share with you, not just some drinks that can help to take some of the chill out of your bones, but also ones that are great when it comes to relieving stress. Because, let's face it, even though autumn and winter can be some of the most exciting times of the year, when you factor in all of the activities on your plate, the family that you will be seeing, the money that you'll be spending and whatever else that you've got on your upcoming to-do list — whew, they can also trigger feelings of anxiety, restlessness and even low-key frustration, if you're not careful.
So, this week, do your mind, body and spirit a favor and treat yourself to one (or more) of the 10 drinks on this list that can help to soothe and de-stress you. Because, in just a minute, you'll see why they are such bomb ideas on every health-related level. (Where's your favorite mug at anyway, chile?)
1. Apple Cider
If there's a part of you that's always wondered what the difference is between apple cider and apple juice, cider is simply an apple drink that is totally unfiltered and unsweetened. This means that, at the end of the day, you are getting the benefits of apples in their purest form. Some of those benefits include the fact that they are a good source of fiber and Vitamin C, they can help to lower your diabetes risk and prevent cancer and they even contain compounds that fight cancer. As far as relieving stress goes, apples are good for you because the phosphorous and iron in them can help to reduce oxidative stress which, at the end of the day, is basically an imbalance of oxygen in your system. So yeah, if you want to calm your system down so that you can rest and relax easier, a warm cup of apple cider can easily do the trick.
Make Some: Homemade Apple Cider
2. Oat Straw Tea
Whenever I do articles like this, I try and find things that aren't commonly mentioned. Personally, I think oat straw tea qualifies. It's a tea that also goes by the name Avena sativa and has a great reputation for being a mild relaxant as well as a sleep aid. Some other cool things about this particular tea are it has a reputation for helping women when it comes to strengthening our bones, stabilizing our blood sugar levels, soothing our nervous system, reducing depression-related symptoms and, some say that it can even help to boost our libido. A part of the reason why it can pull all of this off is that it's rich in B-vitamins.
Anyway, if you've never given oat straw tea a shot, you just received some pretty solid science-backed reasons to.
Make Some: Oat Straw Tea
3. Winter Lemonade
If you're a fan of lemonade yet you've never had the pure pleasure of drinking the twist on it, known as winter lemonade, sis, what are you waiting on? While there are all kinds of variations to the recipe, it generally has ginger, cloves, and cinnamon (and sometimes vanilla) in it. Lemons are great because they are a natural detoxifier which is always beneficial when it comes to keeping stress levels down. Ginger is bomb because it contains powerful medicinal properties, can reduce menstrual pain (if that's when you're feeling the most stressed), and helps to fight off infections (being sick is always stress-filled).
Cloves are cool because they're loaded with antioxidants and are able to help kill bad bacteria as it strengthens your liver (which pulls toxins out of your skin). Cinnamon is a lick because it also has strong medicinal properties, can help to reduce inflammation, and is full of antioxidants. As far as vanilla goes, it contains anti-inflammatories that boost brain health; plus, it has antioxidants in it too. Drinking this kind of lemonade warm or cold is not only delicious but so satisfying to your senses as well.
Make Some: Winter Lemonade with Ginger and Cloves
4. Warm Oat Milk
Once I realized that almond milk isn't the best thing for the environment, I switched over to oat milk and haven't looked back since. Aside from the fact that it's dairy-free, oat milk is good for you because it is high in fiber and B-vitamins. Plus, it's cholesterol-free, can help to regulate your blood sugar levels and, thanks to the magnesium and zinc that's in it, oat milk can relax your nerves and muscles too. And because drinking anything warm or hot can be truly relaxing, if you're looking for something to help you sleep at night, a cup of warm oat milk in your favorite mug just may be what you've been looking for all this time.
(Heads up: the recipe that I've enclosed contains espresso which you would want to leave out at night…for obvious reasons.)
Make Some: Spiced Oat Milk Latte
5. Cinnamon Hot Chocolate
Anyone who doesn't like hot chocolate gets an immediate side-eye from me. I mean, what in the world, y'all? Not only does it taste like a slice of heaven, if it's dark chocolate, but there are also some pretty impressive health benefits that come right along with it too. Dark chocolate's got fiber, magnesium, iron, copper, and manganese. Dark chocolate is a good source of antioxidants. Dark chocolate can also help to lower your blood pressure, improve your brain function and increase blood flow throughout your blood.
And just what does it do for you stress-wise? Aside from the magnesium that's in it, dark chocolate has a way of altering your brain frequency to where your body's natural stress hormone cortisol levels are able to drop which can cause you to feel calmer. And since something else that cinnamon can do is help to soothe anxiety and depression-related symptoms, how could you not want to make yourself a cup of hot cocoa and then sprinkle some cinnamon spice on top of it?
Make Some: Homemade Cinnamon Hot Chocolate
6. Ashwagandha Tea
An herb that's pretty popular in Ayurvedic medicine is ashwagandha. Health-wise, it's good for you because it contains properties that regulate blood sugar, helps to reduce the growth of cancer cells, reduce bodily inflammation, and even can boost fertility in men (although pregnant and breastfeeding women should consult their doctor before consuming it). Ashwagandha makes this de-stressor list, though, because it's another tea that has a great reputation for keeping stress at bay. That's because there is plenty of data to support that it plays a significant role in reducing cortisol in your system.
Make Some: Ashwagandha Sleep Tonic
7. Warm Vanilla Milk
While I've already touched on what a cup of warm milk can do, because vanilla milk is so delicious, I had to circle back and emphasize a couple of other reasons why vanilla can benefit you when it comes to de-stressing your system. For starters, just the aroma of vanilla has a way of creating a calming effect (which is why, as an essential oil, it's considered to be a de-stressor). Also, because it also has antibacterial properties, drinking some warm vanilla milk can be good for you if you're trying to prevent a cold or if you need help falling asleep if you already happen to have one (check out "Got A Killer Cold? These 10 Hacks Will Help You To Sleep Better.").
Make Some: Hot Vanilla
8. Lavender Hot Chocolate
If cinnamon is so not your thing or you want to step out of the box a bit when it comes to the variations of hot chocolate that you're typically used to, have you ever had lavender hot chocolate before? When I tell you that it is something that tastes truly divine! Not only that but lavender contains properties that help to heal chronic pain, lower your blood pressure and heart rate, lessen hot flashes that are directly related to menopause and improve your quality of sleep.
The key here is to not make your hot chocolate with lavender essential oil. Look for drops that are food-grade or add some dried lavender to your recipe.
9. Mulled Wine
A pretty popular drink during the fall and winter months is mulled wine which is basically red wine with some fruits and spices in it. The recipe that I've included calls for red wine, apple cider, orange, honey, cinnamon, cardamom, and some brandy if you really want to get buck with it. Red wine is good for stress because the compound resveratrol that's in it helps to literally protect your DNA from being affected by stress. Oranges help to bring stress relief thanks to the Vitamin C in them that helps to lower your cortisol levels.
Honey's good because it reduces stress levels and produces a natural calming effect. Cardamom is a dope spice because it aids in lowering cortisol and your blood pressure. And brandy's cool because it contains soothing properties that can actually help you to sleep more soundly at night. Definitely another reason to pick up another bottle of red wine and do some steeping, if you ask me.
Make Some: Mulled Wine
10. Chai Latte
If you want to go all out and make your own chai lattes from scratch, you'll need some black tea, cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, nutmeg, allspice, honey, and milk (or a milk alternative). Black tea is ideal because it lowers stress levels. Nutmeg is beneficial because it acts as a natural antidepressant. Allspice assists with lowering your blood pressure. So, if there is a warm drink that is the de-stressor of all de-stressors, it's a fair conclusion that chai latte would probably be it. Enjoy!
Make Some: The Ultimate Chai Latte
Featured image by Getty Images
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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