When Ciara prays, things happen.
We stalked Ciara for years asking for the prayer she recited to get her fine, God-fearing husband Russell Wilson. She finally gave it to us on Summer Walker’s album, Still Over It, saying, “I pray the next man in my life will be my husband. I pray he loves me, leads me, guides me, reassures me. I pray that he holds me. I pray that I have everything I want and need in him. I pray he will love me the way that you love me. Your love is unconditional. You are the way, the truth, and the life. In you, there's hope.” And boy did the man upstairs deliver.
The relationship between Ciara and Russell Wilson has been one of the most admired in the entertainment and sports worlds. Known for their strong partnership, love for family, and public displays of affection, the couple has become a symbol of #RelationshipGoals for many. They’ve managed to build a strong, blended family and continue to inspire many with their partnership both on and off the field.
Here’s an extensive timeline of their relationship, from their initial meeting to becoming a powerhouse couple:
2015: The Beginning
Ciara and Russell Wilson attend The 2015 ESPYS at Microsoft Theater on July 15, 2015 in Los Angeles.
Kevin Mazur/WireImage/Getty Images
March 2015: Ciara and NFL quarterback Russell Wilson were first spotted together at a Seattle Mariners game. This appearance sparked rumors about a potential romance between the two.
April 2015: Russell Wilson attended the White House State Dinner as Ciara’s date. This public appearance made headlines, as the pair looked stunning together, confirming speculation about their relationship.
May 2015: In an interview with The Rock Church, Wilson shared that they were practicing celibacy, stating they were "dating with purpose." He mentioned that God spoke to him about leading the relationship in this way, a move that gained significant media attention.
2016: Engagement and Wedding
March 2016: Russell proposed to Ciara while they were on vacation in the Seychelles. He shared the news on social media with a video captioned, “She said Yes!!! Since Day 1, I knew you were the one. No Greater feeling... #TrueLove."
July 6, 2016: Ciara and Russell Wilson got married in a private ceremony at the historic Peckforton Castle in Cheshire, England. The event was attended by close friends and family, including celebrities like Kelly Rowland and La La Anthony. Ciara wore a custom Roberto Cavalli gown.
2017: Family and New Beginnings
October 2016: Just a few months after their wedding, Ciara announced her pregnancy, sharing the news on her 31st birthday via Instagram.
April 28, 2017: The couple welcomed their first child together, a daughter named Sienna Princess Wilson. This was Russell's first child and Ciara's second, as she has a son, Future Zahir, from her previous relationship with rapper Future.
2018-2019: Business Ventures and Strong Bond
Russell Wilson and Ciara attend Bulgari at the 25th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation's Academy Awards Viewing Party at on February 26, 2017 in Los Angeles.
Venturelli/Getty Images for BVLGARI
2018: The couple began focusing on various business ventures together. They launched the Why Not You Foundation, a non-profit organization aimed at empowering youth.
2019: Ciara and Russell became minority owners of the Seattle Sounders, a Major League Soccer team. The couple's involvement in sports ownership was seen as a significant move, highlighting their influence beyond their respective fields.
2020: Growing Family and Major Milestones
January 30, 2020: Ciara announced she was pregnant with their second child together via an Instagram post, sharing a photo of her baby bump during a trip to Turks and Caicos.
July 23, 2020: Ciara gave birth to their son, Win Harrison Wilson. The couple shared their joy on social media, with Russell posting a photo captioned, “Happy Birthday WIN!!! Mommy & Daddy Love You!”
2020 Pandemic: During the COVID-19 pandemic, Ciara and Russell were very active on social media, sharing glimpses of their family life, dancing together on TikTok, and promoting safety measures during the crisis.
2021: Power Couple Status and Public Love
March 2021: The couple celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary with touching social media posts. Russell shared, “You have changed my life for the better, I am grateful for your love and kindness every day.”
May 2021: Ciara and Russell attended the Met Gala, turning heads on the red carpet. Ciara wore a football-inspired dress as a tribute to Russell, complete with his jersey number.
July 2021: They launched their fashion line "The House of LR&C," a sustainable fashion brand that reflects their shared commitment to giving back. The line includes Good Man Brand, a men’s fashion brand Russell had previously started.
2022: Business Moves and Expanding Empire
Russell Wilson poses with his family, (left to right) Sienna, Future, Win and Ciara, following an introductory press conference at UCHealth Training Center on March 16, 2022 in Englewood, Colo.
Justin Edmonds/Getty Images
March 2022: Russell Wilson was traded to the Denver Broncos in a blockbuster NFL deal. The move brought the Wilson family to Denver, marking a new chapter in their lives. Ciara shared her excitement about the move, expressing her support for Russell’s career and their new beginnings in a different city.
August 2022: The couple launched Why Not You Productions, their film and TV production company focused on telling inspirational stories. This move solidified their status as a power couple in both entertainment and sports industries.
2023: Pregnancy Announcement and Continued Love Story
August 8, 2023: Ciara announced she was pregnant with their third child together (her fourth in total.) The announcement came via a video she posted on social media, showing her silhouette and baby bump in front of a pool.
December 11, 2023: The singer and quarterback welcomed daughter Amora Princess Wilson. Weighing 9 lbs., 1 oz., the happy parents took to Instagram to share, "We Love You so much!"
2024: What’s Next?
Growing Family and Business Ventures: With talk of another baby in the future, Ciara and Russell are focusing on expanding their family. They continue to be involved in various business ventures, including fashion, entertainment, and charitable efforts. Fans eagerly watch for updates on their growing family and upcoming projects.
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RELATED
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
____
One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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