Ciara Opens Up About Growing Into Her Confidence & Gives Advice On Finding Your Equal
When you think about positive women in the music industry who can be looked to as role models, Ciara should come to mind. The wife, mother, and businesswoman have leveled up in all areas of her life and her story has served as an inspiration for many women. Fans have witnessed her growth from her “Goodies” days as the princess of Crunk&B to becoming an international superstar. Now, she has ventured into other spaces such as skin care, fashion, education, and more.
The “Better Thangs” singer covered the Sept/ Oct 2022 issue of Ebony and got candid about motherhood, working with husband Russell Wilson, and overcoming challenges she’s faced in the music industry.
Ciara on Growing Into Her Confidence.
“In the beginning, it was challenging living my life in front of the world. It made me way more guarded. Even when you have your ugliest moments that you wish no one else could see, you don’t have a choice. My philosophy is to run towards my fears and the things that make me uncomfortable, so I was running for a while. As a young girl coming up in this industry, I was carrying so much on my shoulders. Eventually, I was like, 'You know what, this is who I am and either you like it or you don’t.' I can’t live my life based off what someone thinks, or someone else’s comments. Then suddenly, I’ll start thinking that in my mind because words are powerful.”
“I’m also spiritual, so I am who God says I am; no one can take that away from me. When you reach higher heights, the hate grows greater—it doesn’t stop. But baby I’m hater-proof. And even when people say negative things, I think to myself, 'God bless you. I understand you could be going through something, but I’m going to love.' And guess what? I’m good. My family loves me. I’m good. God loves me. I’m good. There’s nothing you can say that’s going to alter that or make me feel any different.”
Ciara on Finding the Right Partner for You.
“Don’t ignore the signs. Sometimes we want to make things happen with people who only check off a few boxes. Conversation is everything. The first day my love and I talked, I had never had a conversation like that with any other person. You have to really listen to what people are saying. How do they talk about people? How do they love themselves? How do they love others? Are they spiritual? Do how they think align with your thoughts? All these things tell us a lot.
"When you have that common-ground connection, it’s more than half the battle. It’s less about words—because people will sell you a dream—and more about what they do. You have to see who someone truly is. And time does tell a lot, you know? But at the same time, the truth could be right in front of us and we’re just not opening our eyes. Don’t be afraid to be disappointed. I know I’m not perfect, but things work perfectly right for us. I believe there’s a person that’s perfect for everyone.”
Ciara on Working with Husband Russell Wilson on Their Fashion Brands.
“It’s so much fun because we’re doing it together. The great thing is that when he and I do anything together, we get to have a little bit of work and play. Luckily, we’re equally yoked and our visions are aligned. We have a big vision to create successful businesses. The ultimate goal is to build billion-dollar businesses. For us, this is about creating legacy brands. We have dreams to impact in every way possible. And there’s also a family component to it—we want to afford our kids the opportunity to possibly continue our legacy and work for the House of LR&C one day.”
Ciara on Motherhood.
“Being a mom is my most favorite job of all jobs. It’s work, day in and day out, and it is not easy. But it’s so worth it. My family has given me my why. I look at my husband, and I’m inspired every day. I’m even more driven because of my children; they make me feel like I’m doing something more in life. Life isn’t only about success. I feel very blessed that I’ve been able to win awards and make hit records. But you know, it only lasts but so long. That’s just the truth of it. Don’t get me wrong, legacy is forever, but the bond and love that I have with my family is even greater than anything I can be given.”
Ciara on the Advice She Would Give Herself After Having Her First Child.
“The journey I went on in front of the world was not the most comfortable. I felt so vulnerable in that moment. What I learned is to embrace the vulnerable times head-on. Looking back on [that] moment in my life I would tell myself, 'You’re doing good girl. Everything’s going to be alright. There’s good in what you’re going through, even in our toughest times.' There’s a scripture I love in the Bible, James 1:2-4, ‘Consider it pure joy when you face trials and tribulations because the testing of your faith produces perseverance.’ It’s the reason I named my label Beauty Marks Entertainment. My idea was that all of the scars you get from the obstacles you face in life are your beauty marks. All those moments that didn’t feel so beautiful and felt like a flaw are actually beautiful.”
Ciara on the Challenges She’s Faced with Stardom.
“When I was young, I wore my heart on my sleeve. What I realized is when it comes to business, not everyone’s going to be as sincere as you are. That was a challenge for me along the way because in some rooms not everyone deserves to know everything or for you to give them every part of you—you must be selective. It took me a second to understand that, especially as a businesswoman. I learned to take my emotions out of it because business isn’t personal. The moment I did it was game-changing.”
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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