It’s National Best Friends Day! Make Sure To Celebrate Your Bestie

Back when I was in my 20s, I used to hear women my age (mid-40s) say that if you are fortunate to have one true friend, consider yourself blessed. At the time, I was like "One? Just one?" but, on this side of wisdom, I totally get where they were coming from—now. It's one thing to know a lot of folks or to even enjoy several different people's company.
But when you're heartbroken and someone sits with you on the phone throughout the entire night or you lose a job and someone financially sacrifices in order to help you get through the following month of bills—yeah, if you find one person who is willing to have your back in that way, that is who is truly a friend. And that is the ultimate kind of blessing.
A couple of months ago, I wrote a piece on 10 things you should expect from friends. What separates your best friend from them is the fact that not only is your BFF loyal, honest, and supportive, but they also do it better than anyone else that you know.
I don't know about you, but after a lot of blood, sweat, tears (and even a little bit of drama), if someone were to ask me who my best friend was, I wouldn't have to hesitate. I immediately know who's shown up and out in my life. If you can totally relate, celebrate National Best Friends Day and let your best friend know just how much you love, respect, and appreciate them by doing one (or a few) of the following things.
1.Have a BFF Movies Night
A really popular friendship quote is by author C.S. Lewis—"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What? You too? I thought I was the only one!'" From music to food to movies, chances are, there are things that you and your bestie thoroughly enjoy, even if no one else does. In celebration of some of the things you both love, pick a night to watch some of your favorite flicks together. To make it even better, hit up Postmates to order some of the food you both like to eat too. It's like a sleepover…only, for grown folks.
2.Make a Photo Album of the Two of You
If you've been besties for a while now, there are probably a ton of pics that you've both accumulated over the years. Why not turn them into prints, print doubles and make a photo album for each of you? One way you can do this is downloading the Walgreens app; that way, you can send your pic files over, they can print them off for you and you can pick them up when they are ready. Another option is to use photo sites and apps like Canvas, Shutterfly, PrintStudio, Free Prints and HP Sprocket (it lets you turn your pics into stickers).
3.Handwrite Them a Letter
One of my girlfriends has some sort of VIP card at Hallmark. Every time she tells me that, the first thing that comes to my mind is "Hallmark still exists?!" The last time I saw one of those was basically the last time I saw a Borders bookstore (which is kind of sad when I really stop to think about it). The next thing that comes to mind is the reminder that making the time to handwrite notes is still a really sweet thing to do. In fact, Lifehack once published an article stating that we should pen letters more because it's a classy move, it speaks to the importance of the relationship and research proves that they make us, the writer, happy too (among other things).
Why not bring a smile to you and your BFF's face by handwriting her a letter of appreciation? I can't think of one reason why they wouldn't love you to the moon and back for making the time to do it.
4.Treat Her to a Mani/Pedi
If you want to observe National Best Friends Day by taking your BFF on a date, there's no way you can go wrong by surprising them with a mani/pedi date. If money is tight, a few hacks that can save you money is to ask the salon what mani/pedi deals they have available, removing gel polish at home, bringing your own polish along or, expanding that movie night suggestion I made and doing each other's hands and feet while you're watching Love Jones or Brown Sugar—for the billionth time.
5.Get Something Customized on Etsy
If you want to get your friend something nice, but you want to avoid anything that says "mall shopping" all over it, do what I do about 7.5 times out of 10—get them something on Etsy. You can customize just about anything you can think of, from T-shirts and body products to jewelry and art.
Case in point—one of my closest friends, emailed me not too long ago to tell me that she would be sending me a Harriet Tubman stamp; that way, while we're waiting for the hater president to get out of office, we can still see Harriet's face on our $20 bill if want to. (Gotta love that Etsy!)
6.Bring the Friendship Bracelet Back
From what I've read, friendship bracelets have been around, almost since the beginning of time. Indians in Central and South America, along with Asians in China, are who initially made them popular. According to tradition, once you tie this kind of bracelet on to your wrist, you should make a wish and it will come true. This kind of bracelet is also something that's supposed to remain on your wrist until it is too worn to stay on, making it a symbol of all of the love and work you put into your friendship.
Sites like Amazon have a variety of friendship bracelets that you can buy. Or, add an extra special touch by making one for you and your friend instead (one style that looks great at any age is here).
7.Invent a Specialized Drink (then Certify It)
Here's one of the coolest ideas I've heard of in a really long time. You might've attended a wedding before where they couple featured a signature drink. Well, why not invent a drink—cocktail or mocktail—that's either in honor of your friend or your friendship overall? Then, after you do it, make the drink "official" by getting it certified?
If you go to Bartender's website, they've got a way for you to print out the recipe (along with your name) so that you can have the "cocktail right" to your creation. Then you can frame it so that your friend can always remember that there is a drink that is theirs—or y'all's—and no one else's.
8.Write Their Attributes. Blow It Up and Frame It.
Several years ago, I decided to do something extra-special for a friend of mine. She really wanted to be married at the time, but she kept choosing guys who went totally against the grain of what she claimed she was looking for. We had discussed her dream attributes so much that one day, I put them all down on a piece of paper, in a special font, had it blown up (it was huge) and mounted. The moment that I handed it to her, she was in tears. My motive in making it wasn't so she could have another piece of art to put on her walls; it was so she could remember what she was deserving of, the next time she considered settling.
If you've got someone in your life who personally or professionally settles more than they should or you simply want to personally remind them of how awesome they are, take out a moment to write their attributes, desires or goals down and turn them into a poster. It's one of the best shots to their self-esteem they could get. It's one of the best displays of love that you could offer them as well.
9.Get Them a Few of Their Favorite Things
My confidant is the ultimate girlie-girl. My godchildren's mom takes Bohemian to an entirely different level (speaking of Bohemian, bless your life and watch this video about the day in the life of Lenny Kravitz when you get a chance). One of my favorite people has Ann Taylor written all over her. And then, there's me—graphic tees, Pumas and silver jewelry. What this all boils down to is none of my friends even remotely have the same taste in…just about anything. But, I kind of like it that way.
A part of what comes with being a good friend is paying attention to a friend's likes/dislikes/tastes. It's not about getting them what we want to have but being in tune with what will put a smile on their face; what they will truly adore. Retaining what that is and then handing them a couple of those items on National Best Friends Day is how you can make it super special as well as memorable for them. It's a great way to be a good friend to your best friend!
10.Take a Best Friends Trip
At this stage in my life, I'm pretty much the only single woman out of my circle of close friends. And since most of them are not only married but mothers, a trip generally consists of me going to see them and having play time with children as much as Netflix binge-watching with their parents. But if you and your BFF are not married and/or don't have kids (it's easier to do a trip with your friends when you're married and without children), another thing that you can do is take a trip together.
Now that you know that 6/8 is National Best Friends Day, each and every year, you can both download an electronic vision board so that you can plan for something 12 months from now, or you can take a weekend-long road trip, or the two of you can spend the night in a hotel up the street, just to get a change of scenery. Whatever it is that you come up with, just like a vacation is a great way for couples to reconnect, it's also a cool way for friends to do the same.
(If you need some travel ideas, we've got an entire section devoted to being out-and-about right here.)
Featured image by Getty Images
Originally June 8, 2019
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Someone's Trying To Hook You Up? Ask These 6 Questions First
As we all know, it’s cuffing season. We’re also on the cusp of the holiday season, and that happens to be the time of year when a lot of people get engaged. And that’s why the fall and winter seasons are the times of the year when folks wanna play matchmaker.
And so, sis, if at least one person in your life is currently trying to set you up with someone they know right now — charge it to it being “tis the season” more than anything else. Because let’s be real — folks tend to be more lovey-dovey than ever right about now, and that is usually what inspires them to try to get as many people boo/bae’d up as possible. Chile…CHILE.
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock









