How Designer Carmen Alexandra Protects Her Peace by Being Selfish With Her Time
In xoNecole's Mother/Hustler series, we sit down with influential mom bosses who open up about the ups and downs of motherhood, as well as how they kill it in their respective industries, all while keeping their sanity and being intentional about self-care.
Have you ever wondered how much of your life is actually about you? From the kids to your job, to your man, to the bills––can you actually say that you spent more than five minutes of your day investing in your damn self? While being self-centered is frowned upon, fashion designer and owner of She. The Collection, Carmen Alexandra wants you to know how important it is for you to designate time every day to center yourself, sis.
Anyone who's ever started a business knows that these entrepreneurial streets ain't easy, but Carmen refuses to let burnout get the upper hand. The blogger knows that you can't pour from an empty cup and says the key to manifesting the overflow you've been looking for is being selfish about your self-care. "You have to put yourself first. You can't take care of them if you can't take care of you," Carmen told xoNecole in an exclusive interview. "The person you were before you became a mother still matters and still deserves her selfish times."
"You have to put yourself first. You can't take care of them if you can't take care of you. The person you were before you became a mother still matters and still deserves her selfish times."
To Carmen, one of the most important lessons she wants to teach her daughter is the power of peace, and she can only do that through action. She explained, "I want my kids to be in tune with their peace, to know that they are in control of their peace of mind. I want them to be able to identify things that disrupt it so they can work through it."
We sat down with this smooth mother/hustler, who spilled all the details on focusing on self-care and securing the bag at the same damn time.
How do you handle moments when you feel overwhelmed?
Deep breaths and short meditations keep me sane! I also make lists to help me prioritize and work more efficiently.
What’s the hardest part of your day?
The hardest part of my day is from 4 to 5 pm when I'm trying to ship and make it to the post office. It seems like so many mistakes and errors happen within the hour.
How do you practice self-care?
I take myself to dinner and a movie every Tuesday, and I tell myself plenty of positive affirmations daily.
When do you feel most productive?
I feel most productive Monday through Wednesday when my daughter is with her dad.
What is your favorite way to spend “me time”?
Home alone, looking crazy---a little medicated, a little tipsy---dancing around my apartment to my favorite songs.
Why was it important to you to be an entrepreneur even though some people may think that a 9 to 5 offers more stability?
There's so much beauty in being able to create. I get to make clothes for people around the world, and the clothes make them look and feel good. I get to work with brands that are diverse and make amazing products. A 9 to 5 never fulfilled me.
How has being a mother helped you become a better entrepreneur (or vice versa)?
Being a mother has taught me balance. I've learned to work productively so I can sit down and enjoy moments and share my creativity with my daughter.
What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced as a mom who runs a business?
My biggest challenge was my postpartum body and regaining my confidence. I felt after giving birth I would be able to jump back into my old clothes the same way.
What advice do you have for moms who are looking to start their business but haven’t taken a step out on faith yet?
What are you waiting for girl? The time is now! Take that leap of faith and don't give up. Be consistent and push yourself the way you would push your kid(s) or your best friend.
Do you think it’s important to keep your personal and professional life separate? Why or why not?
I think it's important to be honest about life because it's not as pretty as it is on social media. It's important to balance it. I may tell my followers that co-parenting is hard but I will never dog my daughter's father out because I'm upset that we miscommunicated over something.
As a mogul mommy, what advice do you have about time management?
Write! Make to-do lists with timeframes. It feels amazing scratching things off of that list. And sometimes there are things that need to be moved up, switched to tomorrow, or things that are too time-consuming, which allows you to see that you may need to hire someone to help you.
What tips do you have for financial planning, both professionally and for your family?
Spending diaries will really show you where your money goes and how you can spend and save more efficiently.
For more Carmen, follow her on Instagram at @caxshe!
Featured image by Instagram/@CarmenAlexandra.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
Megan Thee Stallion On The Realities Of Being The Boss: 'You Do Everything On Your Own’
Rapper Megan Thee Stallion's recent appearance on Club Shay Shay is making headlines for her valuable insights on what it truly means to pay the cost to be the boss.
During the interview, the "Hiss" emcee discussed her decision to sign a distribution deal with Warner Music Group. This move came after settling with her former record label, 1501 Certified Entertainment, following years of legal battles over ownership of her master recordings and the right to release new music. Megan's new arrangement allows her to maintain her independence as an artist and release music through her label, Hot Girl Productions.
Another gem the "Cobra" lyricist shared on the platform was her advice from her mentors, Beyoncé and Jay-Z, regarding her legal woes and business ventures. Megan also got candid when discussing how much she spends on her productions as an independent artist.
Check out the highlights below.
Megan Thee Stallion On Why She Decided To Go Independent
“I’ve been in a situation where I felt I was so out of control for the longest. When I say out of control like I didn’t really have complete control over my music. I could barely go perform when I felt like it. They couldn’t use my music in commercials. I had to literally go to court every time I wanted to drop a song. So I just was like, you know what? I need to do what’s best for me like I can appreciate what a label can do for you, but if y'all can’t agree to these terms, then I don’t want to do it. So I wasn’t going to go nowhere where they wasn’t going to give me what I was worth, and they wasn’t going to give me what I was asking for. But that’s how I wound up with my distribution deal from Warner because they believe in me.”
“It’s really like a trust thing when you sign to a label. It’s all business at the end of the day, but you still want to be somewhere where y’all can trust each other. I know you ain’t going to mess over me, and I'm not going to mess over you. We both need to win. They seemed like they wanted to win with me. They didn’t want to win without me. It wasn’t a situation where I felt like we’re gonna do this with or without you. They wanted to win together, and that’s what I liked about Warner.”
Megan Thee Stallion On The Advice She Received From Beyoncé and Jay-Z
“When I was in the situation that I was in and I wanted to get out of it they told me you need to do this on your own. Like you already know what it is, you got all the tools. All the legal s–t that you are going through right now I know you are learning something, so you should figure out how to get out here and be your own boss.”
“Beyoncé is the person who actually inspired me to get my own tequila because I used to be the cognac queen. I’m still the cognac queen, but as much as I used to enjoy cognac and I promoted a lot of people liquor brands, she was like the next time I see you, you need to have your ownalcoholic beverage. I was like, ‘You right, queen. I am going to have my own s–t.’ So now I have my own tequila.”
Megan Thee Stallion On Spending Her Own Money
“I’ve been spending my own money for a long time. These music videos ain’t cheap. That’s what I definitely learned when I jumped off the porch and wanted to be independent. I said how much this s–t cost? I go in for myself. I believe in myself and I believe that I am making a really good investment in something that I believe in. If I don’t back myself up, who else going to do it? If I don’t believe it, y’all mother f–kers ain’t going to believe it. So the last three music videos y’all seen me put out that’s straight out of Meg Thee Stallion bank account, and that s–t was not cheap. But that’s okay because I like good art. When I look at a music video I want to watch that s–t over and over again. So I want to put out something that I know that my hotties are gonna want to watch over and over again.“
‘You can’t make money without spending money. When you ever heard somebody say it costs to be the boss. Now, I really do understand that. Like I like to have nice things, I like my things to look a certain type of way. I want it to be extravagant. I want it to look like a production every time you see it. Now, how is that going to happen? Whose money is that? You can either go get somebody to invest in you, but now you are making them a boss over you, too. Now, do you want to have complete ownership? You invest everything in yourself. You do everything on your own. I’mma say the money part is the part that I’ve definitely learned about having complete ownership and being your own boss.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images