Being A Single Woman Isn't Always Luxurious, But It Can Be. Here's How

Being single isn’t so luxurious when life be lifing, especially, when you’re the sole person responsible for all your bills and general upkeep of your everyday life. I’m sure I can speak for most single women when I say that the constant of having to take care of every detail of your life, paired with working, is taxing. We’re just girls!
I, for a long time, thought that being girly was the equivalent to living luxuriously, which is still true in some cases. However, for years, I struggled to relate to that concept because I had a hard time connecting to my girly side. I was just too mentally drained from having to think about and fulfill my ‘daily’ responsibilities, solo. So, I had to redefine what luxury means to me, and what it means at this current point of my life is freeing my mind from clutter, allowing me to simply be.

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To get started on my journey, I started at the bottom and began to ask myself some honest questions like: What can I do to alleviate some of the day-to-day tasks? What areas in my life do I need additional assistance in? What should I start or stop doing that can help me clear my mind from clutter, giving me more time to relax?
In no particular order, here’s what I came up with!
Tip 1: Compartmentalize
Identify the areas in your life that require the most time out of your day, cause the most stress, and, of course, affect your funds the most. Once you have a handle on that, then you need to start thinking about the next most important step. What requires more money vs. what requires more labor and go from there.
Tip 2: Outsourcing

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We know that you’re a strong, independent woman who can do it all…but is that the life you want to continue living? For example, put down the broom, pick up the phone, and hire a house cleaning service if cleaning your home takes too much of your time. If you can’t afford a housekeeping service, then space out your chores. You don’t have to clean your home all in one day.
Tip 3: Maintain car maintenance checks
Girls, we must remember that our cars are just as important as our homes and bodies and require its own maintenance. We can’t ignore the check engine light forever. Little do you know, the very knowledge of knowing that your cars’ needs are being neglected is causing subliminal stress because it will always reside in your mind. Just take it a day at a time. Set aside one day to clean your car and set aside another day to make those big girl phone calls to schedule a maintenance appointment.
Tip 4: Meal planning

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If you’re not comfortable in the kitchen, then that means you’re probably ordering in or going out to eat. Figure out what your goal is when it comes to meals and your money. If you can afford to eat out every day, then do you sis! But maybe utilize a meal prep service at least once a month; that way, you don’t have to “think” about your next meal. And if you’re a girlie who likes to cook, then eliminate the mental fatigue by pre-planning your meals on your off days so you can just grab it and go throughout the week.
Tip 5: Notes & Calendar apps
What’d En Vogue say? Free your mind, and the rest will follow! When it comes to running your whole life, you’ve got to keep a schedule or else you’ll endure the mental gymnastics of trying to remember everything on your own. Utilize a calendar and write notes to yourself as they come to mind. Writing things down gets them out of your brain, freeing your mind from clutter and allowing you to rest.
Tip 6: Maintaining bills

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There’s not much you can do about having to pay your own bills. It can definitely be a lot harder to manage when you don’t have someone to (financially) depend on for things you didn’t plan, like getting a boot on your car, medical bills, etc… I’ve found that living below your means until you’re in a position to splurge, has helped tremendously. That means, to preserve my peace of mind, I have to say ‘no’ to hanging out sometimes unless, of course, someone else is footing the bill *wink wink*
Tip 7: Ask for help
It’s not a flex doing everything on your own, by yourself. This way of living is not supporting our soft girl era, ladies. Identify who’s in your circle and ask for help. Help might not always be monetary, but it could be in the form of asking someone to house-sit for you while the internet guy installs your router and you’re at work. That one effort of asking someone in your village for their time is indispensable.
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This article is in partnership with Lexus.
Luxury is often defined by someone else’s standards. But what if the finer things in life looked different through the lens of those crafting and shaping Black culture?
In Redefining Excellence, a two-episode short-form video series presented by Will Packer Media in collaboration with Lexus, we dare to broaden how we think about luxury. Here, it’s not just about the price tag. Luxury is a practice.
At its core, Redefining Excellence is a celebration of intention woven into every detail of how we live: our joy, our spaces, our craft, but also our rituals of care. These are the Black creators who not only give the best to themselves in what they build, but also pay it forward to the communities around them.
Through their vision, they embody the same precision and artistry that Lexus embraces when in pursuit of a higher standard, the Standard of Amazing.
In Episode 1, “Ingredients of Success,” the series follows chef, restaurateur, and Lexus Culinary Master Kwame Onwuachi, whose artistry is imbued with rich cultural storytelling. We see him wander purposefully through a garden, gently testing the ripeness of fresh fruits and vegetables. “Luxury isn’t about exclusivity. It’s about being intentional with your choices and craft,” he says.
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“Now, because of my work and the ingredients I use, luxury means something different. I am boldly setting a new standard of amazing and innovation.”
As he chops vegetables, plates vibrant dishes, and loads the finished product into the sleek Lexus LC Convertible, he continues, “For me, luxury means ingredients that carry memory… dining experiences and locations that honor the stories that raised me and feel like us.”
In Episode 2, “The Texture of Luxury,” the lens turns to founder and CEO of CurlyCon LA Ava Pearl, whose ingredients take a different form. As the trunk of her Lexus LX 700h lifts, she says, “When I think of luxury, it isn’t expensive, it’s expansive.” The scene shifts, and we watch Ava lay down a bouquet of fresh flowers upon entering her home before using aloe vera leaves to prepare gel by hand.
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“When I was younger, I thought luxury was something you bought. Now I know it’s about living up to a higher standard… Black women have always defined what’s next, setting the standard for beauty, luxury, and excellence.”
Like Kwame, she builds with intention, pouring care into the details, believing, like Lexus, that “luxury isn’t just a finish, it’s a standard. One that’s built to amaze.”
Through these stories, Redefining Excellence serves as a reminder that the journey is not just about the destination, but also the ingredients you choose along the way.
Watch both episodes now and learn more about how Kwame and Ava set their own standard of amazing.
Featured image by xoNecole/Will Packer Media
Cree Summer Opens Up About Her Sex Evolution: From Performance To Presence
Cree Summer is considered by many to be the voice of our generation. Beyond her iconic turn as Freddie Brooks on the cultural staple A Different World, she's managed to breathe life into countless animated characters throughout the decades, adding soul and technicolor to our collective Black girl childhoods.
These days, the decorated entertainer has been using that same voice to speak openly about intimacy and reminding us that our sexuality only grows richer with age.
On a recent episode of the rewatch podcast, ReLiving Single, hosted by former series co-stars Erika Alexander and Kim Coles, Cree got candid about how her relationship with sex has evolved in recent years. And according to the Ironheart actress, the sex has never been better.
Cree Summer On Her Sexual Evolution
"I'm having better sex now than I've ever had in my life," she said on the podcast. "I think I enjoyed sex when I was younger but it was performative many times. Something had to get me loose or to set me free. And at this age, everything is where it is...I breastfed two babies. And I've been through some shit, and nothing--it doesn't look like it used to, but it feels better because I don't have the ability to put on a performance.
"I don't have the ability to pretend. You get the honor to be alive for this long. Who the fuck wants to do all that?"
Menopause As A Turning Point
When Kim asked what flipped that switch for her, Cree shouted out menopause as the real MVP in her sexual evolution. "Honestly it's going to sound crazy. I think it was when I went into menopause because my body became out of my control... When your body starts behaving in a way that you have no control over then you don't have that 20-year-old control where it's like, 'Oh I'm going to pose like this,' and 'I'm going to moan like this.' And it's all just a 'Hollywood handjob' in the end.
"But now I think it's just delighting in how present I am... I feel like I want to try all kinds of things and I'm becoming less shy. I used to be quite shy."
This isn't the first time the 56-year-old has talked about the liberation that comes with sex after menopause. In her appearance on Shannon Boodram's podcast Lovers By Shan earlier this year, she also reflected on how her relationship with intimacy has deepened with age. "Now in my 50s, I just don't care anymore. I'm feeling things I've never felt before and trying things I've never felt before," she shared with Shannon in the April 29 episode.
Intimacy Beyond Performance
"There's a freedom now that I never had, not even in my 40s." She even revealed some of her newly discovered turn-ons like taking things slow, maintaining eye contact, and in her words, "I like to be choked a little bit."
Hearing her speak so openly and lovingly about how menopause has "freed" her sexually offers a reframe we don't hear often enough.
Because in a world where hot flashes and vaginal dryness are often the loudest parts of the menopause narrative, Cree's POV is as refreshing as it is potent in reminding us that this chapter doesn't have to be an end for pleasure and feeling good in our bodies. For many women, it can also be an awakening to parts of yourself you didn't know were waiting to be explored.
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