Sometimes life's greatest journeys are the ones that begin without a roadmap. The sense of wonder grants us the opportunity to carve out space for our own self-discovery, while leaving a path for those who choose to follow in the footsteps we've paved.
Over the last few years, the wellness space has been the new frontier for many to find their way to healing and self-growth, where words like "self-care" and "affirmation" serve as breadcrumbs to lead us to our highest selves. Although we don't all start off with the perfect tools or any at all, life has a way of guiding us to the lessons that will equip us for the journey ahead.
For author and wellness consultant, Alex Elle, writing has been the compass that has guided her path.
Courtesy of Alex Elle
For as long as she can remember, Alex had always been a writer. Whether through the expression of poetry or journaling, writing granted space to find her voice on the page in times of heartbreak and uncertainty. But it wasn't until she entered therapy that she was able to uncover the healing power that writing had to offer, "I found writing to heal by way of therapy and I think that's when the lightbulb went off for me; that I could heal parts of myself through writing practice that was supportive to the growth I wanted to have as a woman."
Through the guidance of her then therapist, Alex was able to unlock the "emotional toolbox" that opened her up to writing practice as a measure to write to heal, not just to vent. This shift evolved Alex's approach to writing, and soon, the gentle nudge of a friend would push her to tap deeper into the direction of her purpose, "A friend of mine told me to stop hoarding my story and happiness because someone else might need it. I said to her, 'Why me?' And I remember her saying, 'Why not you?' And that really changed the game."
Courtesy of Alex Elle
Since then, Alex has been writing her way through healing, self-compassion, motherhood, and partnership while drafting a blueprint of growth for a community of women around the world. Now, as her debut memoir, part guide, After the Rain, releases, Alex hopes that it will serve as a companion and support system along her readers' healing journey, "I wanted people to know that they aren't alone. I wanted to give people hope. Things can be really painful in our lives, but we can greet them with curiosity, grace, and understanding."
xoNecole: What was the moment like for you when you decided to say “yes” to the process of healing and self-growth?
Alex Elle: I love that you said that because it was definitely an intentional choice. When it comes to my process: self-choosing has been like a prayer; it's been a meditation and a mantra. Being able to hold myself accountable when I get it right and when I get it wrong has really been the greatest lesson in writing for me. The turning point was knowing I wanted something different in my life and knowing that I could access it, I just had to show up and do the work, even if it was scary and daunting. And it still is sometimes.
I think a lot of people might think that because I've healed some, that I've healed completely. And that's not the case. I'm really proud of myself for making the choice to use writing to get closer to myself and to examine my truth and my flaws. Because for me, writing makes things real. I wanted to make sure that I was really leaning into the self-belief of worthiness. This was the blooming of self-accountability and deciding to make a different choice for the life I wanted to have and the life I wanted to lead.
"The turning point was knowing I wanted something different in my life and knowing that I could access it, I just had to show up and do the work, even if it was scary and daunting. And it still is sometimes."
How have you embraced the path of a pioneer in your own healing?
I've been thinking a lot about this a lot; not having anyone show me how to do this. I think for me right now, there's a sense of pride that I was able to pave the way for what healing could look like for my daughters. And also being an example to other people who might not have had folks available to show them how to heal or love themselves. I want to show folks that you don't have to have somebody show you how to do it all the time, sometimes it's just a choice to figure it out on your own terms. It may take you a lot longer, but it's given me a sense of accomplishment and sacredness. The sacred ability to teach myself how to be who I want to be.
Courtesy of Alex Elle
"I want to show folks that you don't have to have somebody show you how to do it all the time, sometimes it's just a choice to figure it out on your own terms. It may take you a lot longer, but it's given me a sense of accomplishment and sacredness. The sacred ability to teach myself how to be who I want to be."
How do you decide what stories to hold and which ones to release?
Being in this work, I feel like I have a duty, especially as a Black woman, to show up fully in transparency and vulnerability because often we're taught to do the opposite out of fear and self-protection. And I get that. But I also think it's important that we have folks we can turn to who model vulnerability and who do it scared. I think it's also important to say that there are some stories that I will always hold close because they're sacred and they're mine. Maybe pieces of them will be shared but the whole story is not always for everyone. So it's about how we move through our delicate stories and still show up and say, 'Hey, you're not alone here.' That's what's so important for me in my work: that people know that they're not alone.
I hear so often that I'm like a mentor to people, even if we've never met, that the work feels like a warm hug from a mentor. And that makes me so proud, especially as a Black woman who is in this work of making space for other Black women. Even if they do it in private or make space in their family or community, that they have the language and blueprint to do it for themselves.
"Being in this work, I feel like I have a duty, especially as a Black woman, to show up fully in transparency and vulnerability because often we're taught to do the opposite out of fear and self-protection. That's what's so important for me in my work: that people know that they're not alone."
What did you learn about yourself in the process of writing 'After the Rain'?
I learned that rainy seasons are a part of this life. Not enough people are talking about our stormy seasons, especially in wellness and self-care. We hear about manifesting and affirming and that's beautiful, but sometimes things are going to be hard and rainy and terrible. But the sky will clear, the sun will come back up, the plants will bloom and we will still be here. There's a blooming and wilting that happens, during and after the rain. Making that really clear on the page was important and trusting the storms of my life is too.
Courtesy of Alex Elle
"We hear about manifesting and affirming and that's beautiful, but sometimes things are going to be hard and rainy and terrible. But the sky will clear, the sun will come back up, the plants will bloom and we will still be here. There's a blooming and wilting that happens, during and after the rain."
As you look to the future, what does legacy look like as it pertains to being a wife and mother?
It's funny because I've been thinking about legacy a lot when it comes to my work, but I haven't sat with legacy as much around motherhood and wife life because I just feel like we are a living legacy. But now that you ask, my greatest legacy is that my children know that they are valuable and important and that I model that for them. At first, I didn't know if I was doing it right because in motherhood you really don't know. But our children are watching; they're watching closely. My oldest daughter wrote an essay for school recently and shared, "My mom is a successful author and a kind, compassionate person. She shows me that if I work hard, I can do what I love." And that's legacy. The memories that your children have is legacy.
Belly laughs and fun is legacy. And I say that because I don't have a lot of good memories from my childhood, but my husband does. His mother passed away four years ago, and the greatest legacy that I see through her children is how hard she loved them and how much they loved her. Legacy for me is deeply rooted, unconditional love. That at the end of the day, my husband knows that he is deeply loved, my children know that they are deeply loved, not just because we say it, (because we are a very lovey home), but if for some reason any of us lost our voice, we would be able to show it and feel it deep in our bones in ways that words can't match. So for me, that's legacy.
Get your copy of After the Rain, here. And for more on Alex's work, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Alex Elle
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023