

Entrepreneurship is on the rise, as more Americans are seeking the freedom of being their own boss. According to Statista, in 2019, 774,725 businesses in the US were less than a year old. Women of color account for a large number of these new business owners and are celebrated within our community for it. With all the glorification around starting a business, inadvertently a stigma has been created around having a job. Being a CEO has become the picture of success, while working for someone, despite the career level, is commonly viewed as "settling" or being less driven.
As a social media society, we can get caught up in the trendiness of certain careers, and forget that success can look many different ways.
There has specifically been chatter around men with 9-5 jobs vs. entrepreneurs, after comedian B. Simone shared the latter is a requirement in order for a man to become her boooyyfriiieeend. Recently, the Wild 'N Out star stated that she thinks "entrepreneurs should date entrepreneurs." Otherwise, the 9-5 worker would not understand her CEO lifestyle, consisting of handling business in the wee hours. The comment section went into a frenzy, with some agreeing and others taking offense to this theory.
b simone was very demeaning in this. she took to twitter to clarify what she was tryna say but I'll say this ... nothing is wrong with your person having a 9 to 5 while you're fighting to be an entrepreneur. BALANCE is key in a relationship. https://t.co/kL5NtGmjPw
— youtube/Alonzo (@alonzolerone) June 9, 2020
As we debate this on the internets, and disagree on who we should or should not consider dating, I think we all agree that an ambitious man is optimal. Besides a man owning a business, if you are open to it, there are other signs and traits that show a man can contribute to your hustle.
1.His Career
9am to 5pm are simply hours of the day. More important than whether or not your potential bae owns a company, consider what it is that he does during these hours. Is it fulfilling? Is it making a difference in the world? Is it growing him as a person? Does it make him happy? Is he making meaningful change at his company? These are all important questions. I think when we hear "9-5", we can often associate it with someone clocking in, counting down the hours, and then clocking out. However, some people have 9-5 jobs at companies they dreamed of working for and act as "intreprenuers".
2.He Takes Care Of Others
If a man shows you that he thinks beyond himself, this is a telltale sign of ambition. Does he help his parents, and have a goal to be able to fully take care of them one day? Does he have a college fund for a niece, nephew or godchild? These are things that require hard work and determination to achieve. In addition to his drive, it also shows a man's values.
3.He Invests
Investing in stocks, bonds, property or other people's businesses is a clear sign of an ambitious man with a plan. Your future man's investments can result in assets and passive income, without all of the responsibilities that come with being a CEO or founder of a company yourself.
4.He Shares Specific Goals With You
There is a difference between working a 9-5, and being satisfied with working a 9-5. It would behoove you to find out a man's goals in addition to his employment status. Perhaps he plans to start his own business, become a consultant, move up to an executive role at his current job, or even move to a bigger company in the near future -- all signs of a man who is about his business!
5.He Can Offer You Career/Financial Advice
As boss women, we think of a man who is an entrepreneur as someone who will understand our lifestyles and match our mindsets. But if you are an entrepreneur, it may also be cool to date an accountant who can help with your books, or a lawyer who can look over your contracts and offer you business advice.
6.What He Does Outside Of His Job
I personally think what a man does outside of work is more important than what a man does for work. Involvement in organizations, volunteer work, holding a seat on an executive or advisory board or being a community leader can all be promising signs of a partner who can contribute to your career and lifestyle goals.
As women, I do believe we all have the right to desire and go after whatever we want in a partner. However, it may be beneficial to be open-minded about certain things such as career paths. Success can come in many forms, so try to consider the above points before cancelling out a man with a job.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Ashley Versher is known for her work in the Tyler Perry's Beauty In Black series and more recently, she starred alongside Taraji P. Henson in the Netflix film Straw. But she is more than just her acting credits and stunning looks (her hair alone is everything). In an xoNecole exclusive, Ashley dishes on her first celebrity crush, how she spends her downtime, and her go-to haircare products because we need the deets.
Get to know Ashley below.
xoNecole: Where are you from?
Ashley Versher: San Francisco - BAY AREAAAAAA!!!!
xoN: What was your first major acting role?
AV: A 49ers Super Bowl commercial - I think I was 3.
Ashley Versher
Johnny Marlow
xoN: Have you ever had an embarrassing or funny audition story? If so, what happened?
AV: Yes! I was doing a self-tape once and I forgot to take off my bonnet. But the tape was so good I sent it in anyway.
xoN: Your hair is gorgeous. What has it been like navigating Hollywood with natural hair?
AV: Thank you so much! Navigating Hollywood with natural hair has definitely been a journey of self-discovery. Early on, I had to make a conscious decision about how I wanted to show up—not just in this industry, but for myself. Once I fully embraced my natural hair and committed to the journey, everything else began to align. It’s been nothing short of empowering.
Navigating Hollywood with natural hair has definitely been a journey of self-discovery. Early on, I had to make a conscious decision about how I wanted to show up—not just in this industry, but for myself.
xoN: What are your favorite go-to hair products?
AV: Ooooooo, right now I’m loving Camille Rose’s Jai Twisting Butter—it’s super moisturizing and gives me a fun, bouncy twist-out! I’ve also recently gotten into oils, and I’m especially loving sweet almond oil.
xoN: We know you as an actress, but what is another special talent you have that most people don't know about?
AV: I trained as a classical violinist for 13/14years.
xoN: Who is your hero?
AV: My mom. She’s incredible - full stop.
Ashley Versher
Johnny Marlow
xoN: How do you like to spend your down time?
AV: Ha! What’s that!? Jk jk, I love to travel, that’s honestly my favorite thing.
xoN: Who was your first celebrity crush?
AV: Prince.
xoN: What is your dream role?
AV: One day I will play a witch with Harry Potter-like powers!
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Feature image by Johnny Marlow