

Entrepreneurship is on the rise, as more Americans are seeking the freedom of being their own boss. According to Statista, in 2019, 774,725 businesses in the US were less than a year old. Women of color account for a large number of these new business owners and are celebrated within our community for it. With all the glorification around starting a business, inadvertently a stigma has been created around having a job. Being a CEO has become the picture of success, while working for someone, despite the career level, is commonly viewed as "settling" or being less driven.
As a social media society, we can get caught up in the trendiness of certain careers, and forget that success can look many different ways.
There has specifically been chatter around men with 9-5 jobs vs. entrepreneurs, after comedian B. Simone shared the latter is a requirement in order for a man to become her boooyyfriiieeend. Recently, the Wild 'N Out star stated that she thinks "entrepreneurs should date entrepreneurs." Otherwise, the 9-5 worker would not understand her CEO lifestyle, consisting of handling business in the wee hours. The comment section went into a frenzy, with some agreeing and others taking offense to this theory.
b simone was very demeaning in this. she took to twitter to clarify what she was tryna say but I'll say this ... nothing is wrong with your person having a 9 to 5 while you're fighting to be an entrepreneur. BALANCE is key in a relationship. https://t.co/kL5NtGmjPw
— youtube/Alonzo (@alonzolerone) June 9, 2020
As we debate this on the internets, and disagree on who we should or should not consider dating, I think we all agree that an ambitious man is optimal. Besides a man owning a business, if you are open to it, there are other signs and traits that show a man can contribute to your hustle.
1.His Career
9am to 5pm are simply hours of the day. More important than whether or not your potential bae owns a company, consider what it is that he does during these hours. Is it fulfilling? Is it making a difference in the world? Is it growing him as a person? Does it make him happy? Is he making meaningful change at his company? These are all important questions. I think when we hear "9-5", we can often associate it with someone clocking in, counting down the hours, and then clocking out. However, some people have 9-5 jobs at companies they dreamed of working for and act as "intreprenuers".
2.He Takes Care Of Others
If a man shows you that he thinks beyond himself, this is a telltale sign of ambition. Does he help his parents, and have a goal to be able to fully take care of them one day? Does he have a college fund for a niece, nephew or godchild? These are things that require hard work and determination to achieve. In addition to his drive, it also shows a man's values.
3.He Invests
Investing in stocks, bonds, property or other people's businesses is a clear sign of an ambitious man with a plan. Your future man's investments can result in assets and passive income, without all of the responsibilities that come with being a CEO or founder of a company yourself.
4.He Shares Specific Goals With You
There is a difference between working a 9-5, and being satisfied with working a 9-5. It would behoove you to find out a man's goals in addition to his employment status. Perhaps he plans to start his own business, become a consultant, move up to an executive role at his current job, or even move to a bigger company in the near future -- all signs of a man who is about his business!
5.He Can Offer You Career/Financial Advice
As boss women, we think of a man who is an entrepreneur as someone who will understand our lifestyles and match our mindsets. But if you are an entrepreneur, it may also be cool to date an accountant who can help with your books, or a lawyer who can look over your contracts and offer you business advice.
6.What He Does Outside Of His Job
I personally think what a man does outside of work is more important than what a man does for work. Involvement in organizations, volunteer work, holding a seat on an executive or advisory board or being a community leader can all be promising signs of a partner who can contribute to your career and lifestyle goals.
As women, I do believe we all have the right to desire and go after whatever we want in a partner. However, it may be beneficial to be open-minded about certain things such as career paths. Success can come in many forms, so try to consider the above points before cancelling out a man with a job.
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LaPorsche "P" Jackson is a content creator with a television production background from Brooklyn, NY. While working on various Television shows she developed her passion for telling black stories, and then created her own web series entitled No Chaser. She loves hip hop music, coffee and watching reruns of Girlfriends. You can follow her on instagram - @itsp.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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