

As with any journey, motherhood comes with its highs and lows, and ebbs and flows. And Black moms, especially those in the spotlight, have never shied away from keeping it real about the truth behind the beautiful chaos of raising children.
From navigating single parenthood and fertility struggles to embracing the unexpected joy and power that comes with raising children, their words reflect the truth of it all. Whether it’s naming the pain, laughing through the chaos, or honoring the love that keeps them going, these moms didn’t sugarcoat a thing.
Below, we’ve rounded up quotes that offer a raw, nuanced, and deeply personal glimpse into what motherhood really feels like.
Taraji P. Henson
On Michelle Obama's podcast, IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, Taraji P. Henson got real about the generational cycle of single motherhood in her family, and not wishing that on her "worst enemy." She shared in the episode:
"It's just what I'm used to. Unlearning that trauma is where I am now."
Taraji also recalled a moment when her son Marcell was four years old and crying while she was completely spent and had nothing left to give:
"I was so tired, I wanted to cry. I wouldn’t wish being a single parent on my worst enemy, literally, because, think about when you’re exhausted and it’s like, the baby’s crying. ‘Oh, can you go get him, honey?’ There was no honey. I was honey. So If I work 12 hours and I come. If the baby’s sick. Everything fell on me."
Cree Summer
In a StyleLikeU interview, Cree Summer talked about the power of sisterhood in her motherhood journey, crediting them for holding her down as she navigated parenting her daughters as a single mom. She revealed that while initially she viewed becoming a single mother as the "greatest fear of my life," that fear transformed into a deep joy:
"I often find when you go through a separation and you’re on your own as a single mother, boy, you sure find what sisterhood is about for real, right ‘cause your sisters come in, especially the ones that have been through it already. They come in and they tell you that there is another side."
She also reflected on how motherhood, even solo, became her deepest source of love:
"The thing that I feared the most is the thing I love the most. I feared doing it on my own, and I love doing it on my own. Who would've known?"
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Kelly Rowland
In her candid book, Whoa Baby!, Kelly Rowland gave new moms everywhere permission to say, "WTF is happening to me?"—and still be head-over-heels in love with their baby. She shared what that messy, beautiful, body-shocking postpartum moment really felt like:
"In the blink of an eye, everything was all about Titan. And of course, that’s what it is to be a parent — that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. I, too, was feeling the most incredible love I had ever experienced for that tiny little man who had just emerged from my body. But I was also feeling an incredible pain in my vajayjay and wondering if I’d ever walk again."
She continued:
"I didn’t realize how hard it would be for me to have a bowel movement or breastfeed or even sleep... I was also feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and a little bewildered."
Halle Berry
For Halle Berry, becoming a mom in her 40s brought clarity and emotional maturity she didn't have in her 20s. And she's grateful for the timing of her life. On The Wendy Williams Show, she once shared:
"I’m a much better mother at 46, or 41 when I had her, than if I were 21 or 25. I was just a little baby, just trying to figure it out, trying to figure out who I was, let alone have the responsibility of trying to help another little soul develop and grow… I’m so glad I waited."
And in another interview withHello!, she spoke honestly about motherhood and how it reshaped her priorities without sacrificing her purpose:
"It’s wildly affected my life. I haven’t worked as much since I had my daughter. I have another priority and she’s it. But I do want to send her the clear message that working is important and doing something that you love ― that validates you, or makes you feel you are giving yourself to the world ― is really important, so I will keep working."
Gabrielle Union
Gabrielle Union has always been someone who is unafraid of owning her truth, especially in the public eye. That level of transparency extends to her approach to talking about her struggles with infertility. In an interview, she touched on just how invasive conversations about becoming a mother can be.
"For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, [they ask] ‘Do you want kids?’ A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause."
She went on to add:
"Once a month, I look like I’m in my second trimester because I’m bloated. It leads to the questions and it leads to the rumors, and anytime I go into a doctor’s office, I feel like I’m a member of SEAL Team Six undercover because I don’t want people to speculate."
Tika Sumpter
In an interview with Mother Mag, Tika Sumpter opened up about how motherhood deepened her self-awareness and helped her grow emotionally, not just for herself but also for her daughter:
"Motherhood has taught me to see myself more clearly. It’s made me realize where I’ve gone wrong in the past, and how important it is to take accountability. Like, apologizing quickly when I need to. It’s also helped me slow down, take a breath, and express my feelings better. I know that if I can’t express my emotions in a healthy way, I can’t teach my daughter how to do the same."
The actress and writer also spoke to the often complicated experience of preserving her identity while embracing the one she has as a mom:
"In terms of identity, motherhood has shown me that I’m more than ‘just a mom.’ Don’t get me wrong, being a mother is one of the most fulfilling parts of my life, but I’m also an entrepreneur, a wife, a friend, and so much more. I’ve learned that it’s okay for my identity to keep shifting. It took time to realize that I didn’t have to lose myself in motherhood. I can still pursue my dreams and honor all the parts of who I am."
Ciara
In an interview with PureWow, Ciara dished about the way motherhood has empowered her and elevated her life on every level:
"Motherhood has just shown me there's really nothing we can't do as women. I feel really empowered having my kids in my life. By far, my greatest accomplishment is having them."
The mother of four also went on to say:
"My life has been better. I can't even imagine my life without them... They motivate me. I hope that my kids can look at me and say, 'Anything is possible. Mommy went after what she wanted to achieve, and she did it."
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On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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This Journaling Technique Is Designed To Help You Manifest the Life You Want
These days, journaling and I go together real bad. And while audio journaling will still be my go-to when I have to process something heavy, there’s another journaling technique that has quickly become a fave: best-case scenario journaling.
Like its name suggests, best-case scenario journaling is a form of journaling that asks you to focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t want, and by doing so, you set the tone for your day and lay fertile groundwork for manifestation. I first came across it while listening to an episode of She’s So Lucky (formerly Balanced Black Girl).
In the solo episode, host Les Alfred walked us through the practice that changed her life, and I must say, as a chronic overthinker and someone who tends to lead with her worries, especially as I process, best-case scenario journaling has opened me up in my life in ways I didn’t imagine.
It was author Joe Dispenza who once said, "Most people spend 70% of their life living in survival and living in stress, so they're always anticipating the worst-case scenario based on a past experience and they're literally, out of the infinite potentials in the quantum field, they're selecting the worst possible outcome and they're beginning to emotionally embrace it with fear." I don't know about you, but I've definitely been that person. Hell, I can still be that person. It's easy to spiral into what can go wrong in your life versus what could go right.
Joe has also said, "The best way to predict your future is to create it." And that is a sentiment that both Les and I can agree with. Because that is what best-case scenario journaling is about.
What Is Best-Case Scenario Journaling?
Now, instead of shutting down or crashing out when I’m overwhelmed or anxious, I choose not to feed the spiral. I let my desires script what’s possible instead. Not from fear, but from faith. The scenario where the story I pitched resonates with our readers. Where unexpected money finds its way to me. Where someone I’ve been thinking about calls. Where I feel completely at peace, exactly where I am, just as I am.
Best-case scenario journaling isn’t about ignoring the reality of your current circumstances; it’s more about calling in the most aligned version of your life through reallocating that energy into believing in a different story instead of the one shrouded in doubt, fear, survival, complaints, or disbelief. And more often than not, the energy I write in becomes the energy I attract. That’s when everything shifts.
So, how do you actually start this practice? Let's break it down.
How To Try Best-Case Scenario Journaling
As with any form of journaling, there's no one "right" way to go about it. This in part is what makes journaling such a gentle and intuitive practice. You can start with a simple prompt like, "What's the best possible version of the situation I am worried about?" Or even, "If all goes well today, what would my day look and feel like?" Allow yourself to lean into ease and expansion not by forcing positivity, but by rewiring your mind to imagine possibility. To believe in the other side of the coin when it comes to 50/50 chances.
In an interview with The Skinny Confidential podcast, Les Alfred shared how she incorporates best-case scenario journaling in her mornings:
"It's where I will write out either how I want the day to go, assuming all best-case scenarios, or if there's something that I'm worried about, that's stressing me out, that's on my mind, I will write out what I think the best-case scenario of that situation is. I'll do that in detail."
The She's So Lucky host continued, "Let's say I have a day where I'm doing a bunch of back to back podcast recordings and maybe I feel nervous about it, I will write out in detail exactly how I want it to go. Like, 'Me and this guest vibe so well, I get them to admit things they've never admitted on air before. The audience loves this episode. Like, I will write out what I want all of the outcomes to be for the day ahead." Her approach is a great reminder that abundant living lives in the details so script your days like you mean it.
Why Best-Case Scenario Journaling Works
There's something especially powerful about choosing to tell yourself a different story, regardless of your present circumstances, and your mind's default of filling any blanks with fear. Best-case scenario journaling gives the mind a new script, and as you intentionally focusing on what could go right, you're effectively doing the work to retrain your nervous system as well.
As a mindset shift, best-case scenario journaling allows you to build a new habit, one that feeds hope in your life more than trepidation. As a manifestation technique, it facilitates a shift in your frequency, one that allows you to better align with outcomes you actually want to attract.
As a grounding practice, it supports your mental health by acting as an anchor, one that gifts you with self-regulation, gratitude, and a deeper connection to your inner self. So at the end of the day, you're not just feeding your delulu, you're nurturing your well-being, your energy, and your ability to believe that there is always better because in life there's always more.
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