It's officially fall, y'all! And it's the perfect time to adjust your beauty routine.
Granted, we will probably still be baking from Mr. Sun because the seasons don't always begin when they are supposed to begin. Our skin has gotten accustomed to sun kisses and humidity to some degree but the game is changing.
As summer collapses into fall, take some cues from some of our favorite beauty bloggers and their favorite fall beauty products:
Flesh Beauty Blush in 'Fever'
Favorite Fall Beauty Product: Flesh Beauty Blush in the color Fever
"It's the perfect blush for people of color! It's perfect for the person who loves minimal makeup or someone who's wants to do the most like me! (laughs)."
LIME CRIME Velvetines Matte Liquid Lipstick in 'Jinx'
Favorite Fall Beauty Product: LIME CRIME Velvetines Matte Liquid Lipstick
"For fall, I love a vampy staple lip colour for my makeup bag. The one I reach for every fall without fail is the Lime Crime Velvetine lip stain in Jinx. It's a witch berry purple shade, which works amazingly as a statement fall shade. It's beautifully pigmented and stays on well throughout the day. I also love it [because] it compliments almost everything in my fall wardrobe."
Ponds Dry Skin Cream
Favorite Fall Beauty Product: Ponds Dry Skin Cream
"It's the best in those tough winter months. It gives my skin a healthy glow and under makeup, it makes an amazing primer."
MAC's 'Smoked Purple'
Favorite Fall Beauty Product: MAC's "Smoked Purple"
"Dark purple is right there next to burnt orange and pale green when it comes to fall colors. There's just something about dark lips. Once you get the right shade for your complexion, it's perfect for day to night makeup."
Glow Recipe Blueberry Bounce Gentle Cleanse
Favorite Fall Beauty Product: Glow Recipe Blueberry Bounce Gentle Cleanse
"This is a new product but lately I've been loving [it]. It doesn't feel like fall yet in California but this product is definitely great for calming and healing the skin from the elements."
YSL Touché Eclat All In One Glow Tinted Moisturizer
Favorite Fall Beauty Product: YSL Touché Eclat All In One Glow Tinted Moisturizer
"Lately, I've opted out on a beat face and brows and have focused mainly on how to make my melanin pop severely. My go-to daytime refreshing face look is achieved using YSL Touché Eclat All In One Glow tinted moisturizer. I apply it with my hands all over and set it lightly. It also has SPF so it's good on the skin and for the sun."
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Featured image by @ronkeraji
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images