

Sex fascinates me. I make absolutely no apologies for that fact. We got here because of sex. I'm a marriage life coach and sex is a big—HUGE—part of a marital union.
And, although I sometimes feel like the Church could stand to be reminded of this on the regular, sex is all up in the Bible—"be naked and not ashamed" (Genesis 2:24-25); "drink out of your own cistern" (look up what cistern means sometime—Proverbs 5:15); "Dear lover and friend, you're a secret garden, a private and pure fountain. Body and soul, you are paradise" (cue the song "Secret Garden" right here, y'all—Song of Solomon 4:8-15—Message); "do not withhold from your spouse" (I Corinthians 7:5) and, one of my personal favorites "There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact" (I Corinthians 6:16—Message)—these are all Scriptural references regarding copulation.
Due to all of this, if someone were to ask me what one of my passions were, sex—including sex education—would definitely top the list. And since I can't be good at educating anyone unless I study up on it myself, I try to spend at least a few hours a week seeing what's going on in the world of sex.
What do I have for you today, ladies (and gents who also enjoy the site) are some random and even semi-strange facts about sex. Some will make you laugh. Some will evoke a lift of the brow. Hopefully all will make you think—and then test a few of 'em out.
Ready? Sex ed class is officially in session, y'all.
Eating Apples Can Improve Your Orgasms
Some of you might've read this and thought, "Duh. It was the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, after all." Yeeeah. I'm not quite sure where we got that from because Scripture doesn't say that (Genesis 3). But what research has revealed is women who consume more than one apple a day do not only increase in lubrication but are able to have more (including more intense) orgasms. Eat up!
Sex Is a Great Cure for the Common Cold
Gargling apple cider vinegar can reduce the duration of a cold. So can having sex. What they both have in common is they help to strengthen your immune system. When it comes to sex specifically, if your partner has the sniffles and you're afraid of getting it on with them, kissing is what will give it do you; sex won't. That's because colds (nor influenza) aren't transmitted via sperm or vaginal fluid.
Oral Sex Lengthens a Man’s Penis
I've penned an article on the site before about just how beneficial consuming sperm is (check that out here). Here's another oral sex gem. When it comes to penises, even though most of our nerve endings are in the first 1-2 inches of our vaginal opening (so no, technically size doesn't matter as much as a lot of us think), if you wish your man was packin' more than he is, fellatio can help him out. Although researchers are still trying to figure out the connection, one study reveals that a man getting oral sex ultimately lengthens his penis size. Hmph.
If You Use Emojis, You Tend to Have More Sex
The next time you send a winky face, some praying hands or, eh hem, an eggplant and whoever you text makes fun of you on using emojis instead of words, school 'em on what it really means. Believe it or not, a few years ago, TIME magazine published an article with this title—"People Who Use Emojis Have More Sex". Yep. You read that right. It even goes so far as to say that women who use kiss emojis have an easier time having an orgasm. Emoji away!
Sex Improves Women’s Memory
Got a test coming up? Something you can do to increase your chances of passing it is to get some the night before. Yep. What one study has revealed is direct penile-vaginal intercourse can significantly increase your memory and verbal recognition. Pretty cool, huh?
The Love of Music Will Help You to Have More Sex
If you love all things music, here's a good reason to listen to it more often. No matter how crazy or random this might seem, it would appear that people who listen to music out loud have sex 67 percent more than individuals who don't. By the way, if you're wondering what genre of music mentions the word "sex" the most, it's hip-hop and then pop with R&B holding (surprisingly) fifth place.
Weekly Sex Will Regulate Your Menstrual Cycle
Is your menstrual cycle all over the place? Something that just might help to regulate it is having sex on a weekly basis. The reason why is because the luteinizing hormone in your system is what helps to keep your period coming on the same day (give or take a couple of day), every month. When you have sex, it helps to balance this hormone out.
Sex Is About as Effective as Aspirin
One time, a husband told me that whenever he wants to have sex and his wife claims to have a headache, he tells her that his penis will do more for her than an aspirin ever will. Turns out that there's some truth to that. How sex works is, whenever you do it, it triggers endorphins into your system which soothes your nervous system and relieves your headache (even your migraines). Hey, don't knock it until you try it!
Women Are More Attractive During Ovulation
Procreation isn't the sole purpose for having sex (not by a long shot), but we all know that sex makes babies. That's why it comes as no shocker to me that women are more attractive to men during their time of ovulation just like women are hornier during that time of the month too. I'm pretty sure this all works hand in hand, actually.
A Top Three Favorite Sex Toy Among Women Is a Candle
Although I like to backlink sources as much as possible, because the sites connected to this random fact are NSFW, you'll just have to take my word for it (or Google it yourself when you get home). Anyway, something else I happened upon is next to vibrators and sex toys, what women enjoy masturbating with most are candles. Unlit ones, of course.
Cold Feet Can Hinder Climaxing
Personally, I hate sleeping—or sexing—with socks on. One reason is because I don't like being hot. Another reason is because I read somewhere that folks who keep socks on during sex have deep-rooted intimacy issues. However, what studies reveal is folks who keep their socks on when they have sex are able to have more orgasms than those who don't. Experts claim it's because it's easier to climax when our feet are warm.
Wyoming, Alaska and Vermont Have the Kinkiest Sex Sessions
Take it for what it's worth, y'all but the states where people have the kinkiest sex are not New York or even California; it's Wyoming, Alaska and Vermont. Maybe because there's not much to do there? If you live there, you tell me (LOL). As far as the places that have the longest sex sessions, that award goes to New Mexico, West Virginia and Idaho. The minute-man states are Vermont, South Dakota and Alaska.
Did you peep how two of the kinkiest states have the shortest sex sessions. Maybe kinky is connected to quickies.
Men with Belly Fat Last Longer
If you've been pressuring your man to get a six-pack, you might wanna pull back on that a bit. The truth of the matter is that men who have a bit of a belly bulge are able to last longer in bed than men who are constantly in the gym all of the time. According to an article I read, oftentimes as much as three times longer. Wow.
Fun fact: If you put on a combination of pumpkin and lavender essential oils, it can increase the blood flow that rushes to your man's penis by as much as 40 percent. (You're welcome.)
Female Night Owls Have Higher Sex Drives
If you're a night owl, you're probably having more sex than earlier risers. You might think it's because most people have sex at night out of convenience, but that's not actually the reason. The scientific reason is the longer a woman stays up, the more that the stress hormone cortisol will increase in her system. Cortisol is directly-connected to arousal and taking risks. Although, to be perfectly fair regarding the study, female night owls also tend to have a harder time getting into and maintaining the relationship. (Don't shoot the messenger!)
There Is No FDA-Approved Condom for Anal Sex
Last but not least, y'all. Last summer, our managing editor penned a beginner's guide to anal sex. Since 21 percent of women between the ages of 25-29 and 22 percent of women between the ages of 30-39, it's a relevant topic. At the same time, I do think it should go on record that there is currently no condom for anal sex that's been FDA-approved. This means, there is no condom that they are willing to, pardon the pun, back up. That's pretty serious when you actually think about what a condom is designed to do (protect you from transmitting and receiving STDs). The more you know, sis. The more you know.
Featured image by Getty Images
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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