The 5th house is where we tap into what makes us happy, and where that happiness is found. It is the area of your chart that tells you how you show up, how you take center stage in your life, and where your pleasure zones are. Being that Leo is the ruler of the 5th house, we learn a lot about pleasure from this fire sign, as Leo is a bold one who is not afraid to explore what brings them joy and to make sure they are good first and foremost. When it comes to tapping into the pleasure in your life, you can look at your zodiac sign or the sign that is on your 5th House in your birth chart to get a better idea of what works for you and what doesn’t.
How Your 5th House Reveals Your Pleasure Zones
Happiness is key when it comes to 5th house energy. The 5th House will show you not only what brings you joy, but also what experiences are sustainable for you in the long run so that you truly know yourself, your body, and your needs.
Everyone has a 5th house, and some people have planets residing within that house as well, which usually makes for an even more exciting and pleasurable life (especially if you have the Sun, Mercury, Mars, or Jupiter here), or at least more attention in this area of your life altogether. The 5th House, the 8th house, and the 12th house are all areas of your birth chart you want to look at when it comes to sex and pleasure, but there is something exciting and light about the 5th house that shows you what experiences are truly fun for you and that bring you joy.
Read below as to how to align with the pleasure in your life. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
5th House and Pleasure in Astrology
For Aries, pleasure is confidence.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecole“I am overflowing with love and gratitude,
and I embrace pleasure in my life.”
Aries, you are a feisty one. Pleasure for you is about taking the lead, and feeling like you are needed and valued; it is about being confident in what it is you are looking for. You are self-expressive when it comes to pleasure, and you will always let others know where you stand. You keep life exciting and with your free spirit, are often getting yourself into new and exciting experiences.
Get creative when it comes to pleasure, and explore different outlets of fulfillment. When you can trust your instincts and intuition on what you need, you are aligned with what is going to bring you the most pleasurable experiences in life.
For Taurus, pleasure is satisfaction.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecole“I am sexually and emotionally secure with myself.”
Taurus is one of the top signs to understand the importance of pleasure. Your priorities in life are to feel good from the inside out, and you spend a lot of time making sure you are in the right space and feel the right way. You love candles, sweets, baths, and anything the movies show of a self-love day or a romantic getaway vibe. You are the definition of satisfaction, and you tap into this energy more easily than most.
Pleasurable experiences for you are when your belly is full, the mood is right, and your surroundings are comfortable. With Virgo ruling your 5th house, fellow earth signs tend to align with the satisfaction you are looking for and enhance the sensuality in your life.
For Gemini, pleasure is connection.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecole“I listen to my body and what it needs.
I deserve to feel good.”
Pleasure is about connection for you, Gemini. You prefer one-on-one experiences or experiences that make you closer to yourself overall. You love to love and love to share it, and having love in your life and around you brings you great joy. Being a Gemini, you are a curious soul, and exploring where your pleasure zones are is key. Not being afraid to switch things up and try out different experiences is your gift in life, and brings you to experience more than most have in their lifetime.
With Libra ruling your 5th house and Libra being the ruler of the buttocks, this is most likely a pleasure area for you, Gemini.
For Cancer, pleasure is intimacy and shared connection.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecole“I am sexy.
I am seen.
I am well-received.”
Intimacy, a shared connection, and a transcendent experience are where you align with pleasure, Cancer. With Scorpio in your 5th house of pleasure and the fact that Scorpio is the ruler of the reproductive organs and the hips, you know all of the right spots and all of the right moves. You are very connected to what you need to feel satisfied, and also what others need as well. Physical touch is important to you, and this is one of your love languages.
To connect more with the pleasure in your life, set the mood with candles, dimmed lights, crystals, and all of your spiritual tools. Do meditation before engaging in pleasure-seeking activities, and get your mind right. Setting the vibe for you does wonders.
For Leo, pleasure is exploration.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecole“Life is exciting for me,
and my heart is open to enjoying the gifts of pleasure.”
Leo is the ruler of the 5th house of pleasure, so you know all about this area of your life well. You know how to fulfill and satisfy yourself, regardless of who else can or knows how to. For you, pleasure is all about knowing what you want, and giving yourself that. When it comes to allowing pleasure and satisfaction into your life from others, it’s all about being confident with what it is you are looking for and listening to your heart.
The 5th house is also the ruler of the heart, and your heart is an adventurous one. Pleasure is all about having fun and exploring your world for you, Leo. Find what works for you, and get rid of what doesn’t.
For Virgo, pleasure is giving and receiving.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecole“I am grateful for my body, and the pleasure it gives me.”
Virgos are all about pleasure, both giving and receiving. You have a good balance when it comes to understanding what you need as well as exploring new possibilities for you when it comes to pleasure and the body. You are open-minded, yet grounded in the way that you are willing to take the practical steps needed to fulfill your needs or those of a partner. Virgos are very giving, but you are also a perfectionist and you want the best for yourself in all areas of your life.
There is a saying about Virgos, and that is, “Classy in the streets, freak in the streets.” To tap into the pleasure in your life, dress up, role-play, and take the lead.
For Libra, pleasure is community.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecole“I communicate from the heart,
and connect with others.”
Remaining open-minded is key for you when it comes to pleasure, Libra. Talking to a friend, communicating with others about what you are feeling, and finding a community that resonates with you and what satisfies you is key. With Aquarius residing in your 5th house of pleasure, you often find a lot of joy and pleasing experiences around friends and within these types of situations. Friends often turn into lovers for you, and you overall are open-minded when it comes to this area of your life. Words do wonders for Libras and Libra risings as well, and an erotic novel, movie, or song can take you places.
For Scorpio, pleasure is the freedom to be.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecole“I express myself and what I need freely and confidently.”
Aligning with the pleasure in your life means tapping into your creativity, confidence, and self-expression. With the water sign Pisces residing in your 5th house, it’s important to feel your emotions and to be able to express how you are feeling and what you need. The more you can open up, get creative in the bed, and look at pleasure as something exciting, the more fulfilled you will be. Keep things light when it comes to satisfaction and don’t bring any serious or stagnant energy into this area of your life. For you, pleasure is all about having fun, letting loose, and giving yourself and your emotions freedom to be. Be confident when it comes to your wants and needs in life.
For Sagittarius, pleasure is excitement.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecole“I intend to enjoy my life, myself, and what brings me pleasure.”
Sagittarius, pleasure for you is all about the excitement of it all. You are very intentional when it comes to what you want and need, and the beginning stages of every connection and experience are where it is at for you. Tapping into your pleasure zone is all about not only a mental connection, but physical excitement as well.
With Aries residing in your 5th house, and the fact that Aries is the ruler of the head, kisses, whispers in the ear, and anything touching the top of your body/head is where your pleasure zones are. Being a fire sign, you are sure to keep things exciting and adventurous in life, and pleasure to you is all about having fun and taking the lead.
For Capricorn, pleasure is luxury.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecole“I exude confidence, sensuality, and love.
I deserve pleasure.”
Capricorns often surprise people with how much they know about pleasure. After all, you are known to be all work and less play, but the more you get to know a Capricorn, the more you see that their earthy ways are quite sensual and intentional. Touch for you is everything when it comes to pleasure, and this is an area of your life where you are more vulnerable and where others, including yourself, see a different side to you.
Pleasure for you is about feeling luxurious, feeling needed, and reminding yourself that you are royalty. With Taurus in your 5th house and Taurus being the ruler of the neck and the shoulders, these are pleasure zones for you and should be attended to.
For Aquarius, pleasure is openness and novelty.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecole“I am open to new experiences,
and learning more about myself and my body."
When it comes to pleasure, you have wildcard energy, Aquarius. One day something might bring you great joy and satisfaction, and the next day something else will. Keeping up with you is not an easy task, but your life is never dull because of this. Pleasure to you is all about keeping things light, open, never the same, and exciting. You love to express yourself and communicate your needs, and you are confident doing so.
You often surprise yourself with what satisfies you as you are constantly exploring yourself and learning more about your likes, dislikes, and your body. Tap into the pleasure in your life by trying something new every month (or week) and make a list of what worked, and what didn’t.
For Pisces, pleasure is feeling.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecole“I am safe and secure in my body and my heart.”
For Pisces and Pisces risings, pleasure is all about feeling things through. With Cancer in your 5th house of pleasure and happiness, being fulfilled means being in intimate, safe, and secure settings. You need the right environment around you to open up and feel comfortable exploring your inner world. You are very giving when it comes to pleasure and you are someone who wants to give just as much as you receive.
Pleasure to you is a deep experience and when it comes to partnership, someone who you trust and feel 100% comfortable with is what’s going to make your experience the most satisfying. Connecting with fellow water signs can also be beneficial for you in this area of your life.
Read all of the stories in the Issa Rae: She Comes First editorial series here.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
Courtesy
In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
Courtesy
With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
Courtesy
For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy