I was today-years-old when I learned that I needed a bidet and all of the credit goes to Insecure's Yvonne Orji for putting me on game.
In her recent interview with NY Mag, the actress broke down 8 of her favorite things, one of which just so happens to be this must-have bathroom accessory. She told the publication:
"We shot season one of 'Insecure' at this house in Malibu that had a bidet. I remember everybody was like, 'What is this? It's spritzing water on our intimate parts and it's warm?' For the latest season, we shot at another place that had a bidet, and Issa [Rae] and I were both like, 'Dang, we wish we had a bidet.' I looked at her and was like, 'Girl, what's stopping us?' And she was like, 'You right.'"
Celebrities like Tiffany Haddish, Whoopi Goldberg, and Chrissy Teigen have all publicly expressed their love for the luxury home item, which can be purchased on Amazon for as little as $30. Yvonne, who bought her first home last year, says that a bidet in her bathroom was non-negotiable:
"I just happened to be in the middle of a home renovation, so I told Neffi Walker from The Black Home, who was doing the work, that I wanted a bidet. She got me this one with a seat that warms up. Now I love going to the bathroom."
In the feature, Yvonne also dished on some of her skin and hair must-haves and explained why she can't live without her handheld Hypervolt Cordless Massager. For more of Yvonne's favorite things, scroll below!
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Hyperice Hypervolt Body Massager
"I call this my boyfriend — and when I actually get a boyfriend, I'll cheat on him with my Hypervolt. My personal trainer introduced me to it: She used it all over my body to make sure my hamstrings weren't tight. One day, I decided I wasn't going to wait for her anymore, so I bought it and had it shipped overnight. The Hypervolt has all these different heads that get at the crux of every knot. At night, before I go to bed, I work it all through my neck, my back. When I wake up, I don't feel as tense. So this is my jam."
Dr. Teal’s Pure Epsom Salt Soothe & Sleep Lavender Soaking Solution
Amazon
"I love taking baths. I've had chronic shoulder, neck, and back pain for the last two years, and when I use this soak, it just feels like my muscles are relaxing. Soaking in it with candles lit and soft music playing makes me feel like everything is a million miles away. I can just be still and quiet."
Kiehl’s Calendula & Aloe Soothing Hydration Masque
Amazon
"Every time I get a facial, they're always like, 'Your face is dehydrated.' I don't understand: I'm drinking a gallon of water, I'm doing all the things, and they're still like, 'Yeah, dehydrated.' So I use this. It's so light, I'm like, Is this working? I put it on while I'm taking a bath and let the steam work its magic. I probably keep it on longer than I should, but when I take it off, my face is so soft. I naturally have textured skin, and sometimes it can feel overly textured. You know when your face just feels like it needs a scrub? This gets rid of all the dirt and impurities."
The Mane Choice 3-In-1 Revitalize & Refresh Conditioner
Amazon
"I have 4C hair: It's very coarse, straight from Nigeria, and not diluted in any sense of the word, so there are very few things that can make it soft or that I can work through it. But this co-wash makes my hair so soft. I texted Courtney Adeleye, the founder, 'You have helped me in the quarantine.' Staying at home, this has been a game-changer because I'm able to leave my afro out and allow it to be its best self. I use it as a co-wash whenever I wash my hair in the shower, and on a daily basis I add it to a concoction of water and oils, like Jamaican castor oil, that I make to help keep my hair soft."
Jane Carter Solution Nourish and Shine
Amazon
"One, it smells delicious. Two, putting it all over your body is the business. Sometimes, I find these things stay very surface level and just give you a shine up top, but don't actually help nourish or moisturize beyond the outer layer. I like this because it does a little bit of both. Sometimes, I'll mix it with Jergens to get even more moisture and shine."
‘Big Idea Food: A Weekly Devotional for Entrepreneurs, Side Hustlers & Dreamers’
Amazon
"My morning routine is reading a verse from the Bible and from this devotional for entrepreneurs. Sometimes, there will be a Bible verse to go with whatever the devotional's daily subject is, so I'll go and read the whole chapter that verse comes from, too. We all have a lot of time now to think, rework, craft. For me, that means a lot of self-reflection — what's working, what's not, what does the Bible have to say about this? — and digging deeper. That's kind of where I'm at."
Michael Kors Eau de Parfum
Amazon
"I went into Michael Kors once and I was like, 'What is that smell?' The staff was like, 'Michael Kors perfume.' I was like, 'That tracks.' It's very sweet without giving you a cavity. It's sweet with a little spice. It's like kettle corn, and I like that."
Featured image by Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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