5 Boss Women Define What The Power Suit Means To Them
The definition of a power suit has changed over the past twenty years because women have redefined what it means to have power. In recent years, we have proven that the future is hella female and we will always create our own lane. With women adjusting their crowns and truly owning their power in their designated fields, the power suit has evolved from massive shoulder armor and bow ties.
Don't get me wrong, we will always be obsessed with women like Olivia Pope and Joan Clayton who could make any tailored suit look flawless. But now that women can decide what it means to have power and what style staples ignite that power, there is no stopping us.
We had the chance to chat with five powerful women and they shared their definition of a power suit and how they avow their power.
Kashmir Thompson
A funky pair of shades is a must in Kashmir's rendition of a power suit.
What She Does:
Designer and Owner of KashmirVIII
What Makes Her A Powerful Woman:
"I think what makes me powerful is my confidence in my abilities. I truly believe I can do WHATEVER I want to do, and successfully. I think people see that in me and respect that. And respect will always be a key to power."
Her Power Moment:
"I'm going to say last year when I was a vendor at Essence Festival. That was my first time vending there and for a venue so large, with such a large audience. Having so many of my supporters in one space was an eye-opening experience for me. There were soooo many of them. People coming up to me telling me how much they love me and my work was overwhelming. Not to mention meeting so many new people who didn't know me and who were in awe immediately. A lady came into my booth and saw one of my paintings titled, 'Easin', and literally cried. That experience was one that made me step back and say, 'Wow...look at what I can do.'"
Her Power Suit:
"A dope pair of sneakers, a beat face, one of my clutches, and a funky pair of shades are definitely my staples. If you ever see me, I'm going to have at least two of the four!"
Kumasi Aaron
Color is Kumasi's version of the power suit.
What She Does:
National Correspondent for E.W. Scripps
What Makes Her A Powerful Woman:
"I am powerful because I don't let doubts and fears keep me from letting the world see who I am. It's a process, but every day, I set the intention to do it and it becomes easier every time. I am a National Correspondent, rocking my natural hair, and bringing the fullness of who I am to every interview I do and every story I write. The way I ask a question, the way I craft a story is authentically me. I think that makes for more compelling journalism, but the real power is being able to connect with people in a truer way, and in turn, empowering them to share a little more of themselves with the world."
Her Power Moment:
"As an Anchor and Reporter at a TV news station in Florida, my bangs breaking off led me to discover the beauty that was my natural hair! So when I was off, it would be out in all its glory but while at work, I wore a wig. After a while, I started to feel like I was hiding who I was, and decided to talk with my manager about being able to wear my natural hair on air. She was okay with it, and although I was excited, I was unsure how our audience would react. I can still remember sitting behind the desk for the first time and telling myself, 'This is who you are. You love it, and so will they.' I anchored like I was the most powerful beautiful queen on the screen. And guess what? They love it too! But even if they hadn't, that moment forced me to embrace my power, and that was priceless."
Her Power Suit:
"Can a power suit be a jumpsuit? Mine is. I was a little hesitant to wear this on air first, but it just makes me feel so powerful, feminine, and confident, I just went with it anyway. Now it's one of the things I reach for when I want an outfit that stands out without being too loud. Another power suit for me is a dress in a color that pops. Armed with this and a smile, I feel powerful walking in any room!"
Tiffany Battle
For Tiffany, personality is her power.
What She Does:
Creator of The Werk! Place
What Makes Her A Powerful Woman:
"There's power in being authentic. So, the ability to move authenticity from theory to reality is what makes me a powerful woman."
Her Power Moment:
"The transitional moments in life have forced me to get to know myself better. With each test and trial, I've found more strength to embrace my power."
Her Power Suit:
"With any look, I like to infuse my personality. So, my power suit is definitely going to have a little mixed print flavor to it."
Paige Parker
Paige believes flexibility is key for honing her power.
What She Does:
Founder of Whole Health Club
What Makes Her A Powerful Woman:
"Connection, creation and, passion. I have the ability to connect with most people that I meet, on such a deep level that it feels like I have known them my whole life. I create relationships and bonds through trust and honesty. I choose to surround myself with like-minded individuals who aspire to conquer the same life goals; it's almost as if we are feeding off of each other's hustle, good vibes, and passion. I always knew I wanted to help women discover the healthiest version of themselves but I had to make sure I was the healthiest version of ME before I could help anyone else. I notice that when I make connections, create relationships and express my passion for health and wellness, I feel balanced and at ease. When I discovered how these three words made me feel, I realized I wanted to help others find their true value and purpose in life. When you feel balanced, everyone else around you can feel it too! I teach women how to see that they have value and purpose, I guide them to TRUE self-care, I help them see that their past DOES NOT define them and I show them the value of empowering/uplifting other women."
Her Power Moment:
"In 2016, I started Whole Health Club with my husband, Chase, and my best friend, Sam. We moved out to Colorado with the intention of opening up a gym that felt like home to our clients. We knew NO ONE, but we had a vision and we weren't going to stop until we made that vision a reality. Whole Health Club is the gym with the kitchen. We believe in taking the WHOLE approach to health and fitness, so we added a residential style kitchen to help our clients bring back cooking into their homes. We also have an open space with free weights and a classroom where I teach yoga. When we opened Whole Health Club, I had NO IDEA how much energy it was going to take to make it happen, I quickly learned that if I let every bump in the road get to me, then this path to success was going to be a LONG one. I had to go within and find what gave me the power to survive a day in the life of an entrepreneur. I knew if I made connections with the right people, created relationships that serve my divine path to success, and continued to express my passion for health and fitness, then NOTHING could stand in my way."
Her Power Suit:
"Yoga pants and any SOFT fabrics! Being in the fitness field is amazing because I get to wear comfortable outfits that fit my body and allow me to embrace my athletic body. I am all about LEGGINGS, anywhere from seamless and soft to tight and sporty. Alo Yoga is a brand that I love so much because of, not only their clothes, but everything that they stand for as a company. A-air L-land O-ocean are the perfect words, and truth that yoga can be done ANYWHERE. When I feel like I can move and breathe, I feel like my most powerful self."
Kesha McLeod
Bold color is how Kesha makes her powerful statement to the world.
What She Does:
Wardrobe Stylist & Owner of KMCME
What Makes Her A Powerful Woman:
"I'm powerful because Women are stronger. Men learn from us. We're amazing beings. We work, we nurture, we endure pain, then get back to business. We are all-around."
Her Power Moment:
"Stepping out on my own and leaving my previous agency forced me to do my own thing. I became a better person and I was more confident in myself. I never knew I wasn't confined, but I knew I had to make my OWN major decisions so that I knew I had power. Now it cannot be taken away from me. That feeling is priceless."
Related: How Kesha McLeod Went from Working In Retail to Styling The Biggest Names In Sports
Her Power Suit:
"My style staples are always a great color no matter if it's a suit, coat, or as simple as a sweater. I think anyone in a bold color can make a powerful statement!"
Featured image via Kesha McLeod/Instagram
Originally published February 12, 2018
- 9 Power Suits to Buy Now| InStyle.com ›
- The Evolution Of The Female Power Suit & What It Means — PHOTOS ›
- How Fashion is Updating Power Dressing for 2017 | W Magazine ›
- The return of the female power suit | The Independent ›
- 7 Wearable Power Suits For Your Inner Girl Boss | more.com ›
- Suisupply Is Now Redefining the Power Suit For Women | Observer ›
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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Featured image by CoffeeAndMilk/Getty Images