We Asked 6 Influencers To Share The Why Behind Their Style Aesthetic
What's a fashion uniform? It's your everyday armor that helps you slay every room you walk into. It's your trademark aesthetic. It's what makes you, YOU.
Everyone has their own appreciation of beauty and that's what makes fashion so intriguing. Finding your signature style takes time and intention. What do you want the world to see when they see you strutting down the street? Because it's no secret that your style speaks for you do. Wise woman, Alanna Nicole, gave some amazing advice for women searching for their very own unique style that sets them a part from everyone else. "Experiment, live boldly and ignore what anyone else says! For me, if someone is wearing the most outrageous or the most simple and chic outfit, once they are wearing it with unwavering confidence, I admire them so much," she shared with us.
When you think about your favorite fashion icons, you immediately think about their staples and what makes them unique. There's a thing that separates them from the rest. We all need that thing. The right outfit can make you feel like Beyonce on your worst day. So, we decided to gather some dope, stylish women and ask them about their trademark aesthetic.
xoNecole loves a good lewk and we love it even more when it's draping on an ebony goddess. If you're ever in need of instant inspo, these are your girls.
Jennifer Ogumbor-Larbi
Photo Courtesy of Jennifer Ogumbor-Larbi
Age: 30
Location: Edmonton, AB, Canada
Blog/Website: The Jeneralist (www.thejeneralist.com)
Instagram: @thejeneralist
"I pull a lot of inspiration from European street style and pop culture but my style is generally inspired by the places I've been and the people I've met. I realized at a young age that being boxed into a single category of any sort was a limitation I did not like and developed my aesthetic based on that. If I had to choose one word to describe my style, it would be 'dynamic'.
"You might catch me in muted/neutral tones in the middle of summer and in a bright yellow monochromatic look in the middle of winter. I love that I am not limited in style because there are days when I wake up feeling super feminine and others when I feel like rocking a fun tomboy-ish chic look. Sometimes, it's a quirky mix between the two. Regardless of what I'm wearing, I love wearing lipstick and throwing in some fun accessories to help complement and/or elevate my look.
"My style may be undefined but it's certainly a representation of who I am and the dynamic range that I possess. My advice to women searching for their own unique style is to do what works for YOU and have fun with it."
Vic Styles
Photo Courtesy of Vic Styles
Age: 33
Location: New York
Website:www.VicStyles.com
IG:@TheVicStyles
"What I wear is your introduction to who I am before I ever open my mouth. I tend to choose clothes that reflect my lifestyle and personality: mostly sustainable, comfortable clothing, I'm always in a hat, and I love color. Color sets the mood. I think my style fits the woman that I am, it is ever-evolving like I am."
Jessica Pettway
Photo Courtesy of Jessica Pettway
Age: 31
Location: Los Angeles
Blog/Website:https://www.youtube.com/JessicaPettway
Instagram:@jessicapettway
"My style is a literal illustration of my personality, chill with a bit of spunk. I look for pieces that are super functional and sustainable. An oversized thrifted blazer paired with a pair of faded denim and skinny sandals is my aesthetic. It's that effortless, cool girl vibe."
Shannae Ingleton Smith
Photo Courtesy of Shannae Ingleton Smith
Age: 38
Location: Toronto
Blog/Website:TorontoShay.com
Instagram:@TorontoShay
"For me, I like a combination of comfort and slayage (if that is even a thing?). I love high-waisted pants and denim. After having a baby, nobody is trying to see my stomach and a high-waisted pants keeps everything in. Pair that with a statement heel or a dope top, and I feel like a million bucks. I love wearing items that are different. I like to call those pieces 'conversation starters' because people stop you and ask you where you got it from. I find fashion is a great way to connect with others and break the ice in new situations. Rocking sneakers with a suit or a dress is another great combo. For me, I like doing things that are a bit out of the box, but slays at the same time."
Alanna Nicole
Photo Courtesy of Alanna Nicole
Age: 24
From: London, England
Blog/Website:www.alannanicolex.com
Instagram:@alannanicolex
"EVERYTHING inspires my style! Colors are my main source of inspiration – from seeing other peoples' color combinations, to furniture and buildings. I definitely try to take advantage of the surroundings that I'm in and allow them to fuel my style. Because of that, my style changes quite often! Last year, I was obsessed with loud monochrome looks and wild pattern mixing. But this summer, I've been really inspired by interior design. My looks have been more driven by soft pastel colours, which are more whimsical. I also take tons of inspiration from Barbados, where I grew up! Many of my tattoos are of flowers and plants that you can find there – the Pride of Barbados and palm trees! Since I'm there quite often to see my family, I also use the ocean and tropical climate to inspire my looks while there and at home in London!
"My #1 staple is definitely earrings! Since massive statement earrings became widely available two years ago, I jumped on that bandwagon and have never looked back! Since my hair is quite large, having earrings that can still be the star of the show is an amazing way to elevate my look! Also, shoes! I've always been a crazy shoe girl and absolutely love to have colorful and bold shoes on."
Nekiah Torres
Photo Courtesy of Nekiah Torres
Age: Grown
Location: Arizona
Blog/Website: From the Rez to the City
Instagram:@reztothecity
"Coming up with my aesthetic definitely didn't happen overnight. It took years! Initially, I would just find stylish people and copy them but the more I matured, I knew that had to change. I realized that personal style required authenticity because it signifies a considerable amount of self-knowledge. I had to get comfortable with my nontraditional looks and accept the fact that I was never going to look like the individuals I was copying, I had to dress for ME! When putting together looks, I always ask myself: 'What is my message to the world? What am I trying to express through my wardrobe choices?' My answer is: in order to be authentically me, I must always feel POWERFUL! So, my trademark aesthetic is CONFIDENCE and I love it because I love ME!"
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Featured image courtesy of Jessica Pettway
Originally published August 22, 2019
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
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ÂItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images