![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![Why Black Women Should Vote Now More Than Ever](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzMyNzQ2NC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcyNjg2NTI4MX0.3r0tfb3IjvdcCTamMSGrCgoFD9PiJmU13Z5P5JsXjrc/img.jpg?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C194%2C0%2C806)
Why Black Women Should Vote Now More Than Ever
The start of 2020 brought more than setting intentions and crushing goals. It brought on the most important election season of our time. As soon as the high of a new year wore off, the candidates turned up the heat on campaign ads, commercials, debates, and caucuses.
We launched into the throws of issues and policies so fast that it could make your head spin. To make things even more complex, candidates started dropping out of the Democratic race just as soon as you learned who they were. It's enough to drive you crazy, but it is too important to ignore. I don't know about you, but all of this sparked questions for me like:
- "Where does this candidate stand on gun control?"
- "Whose policy works better for eliminating student loan debt?"
- "Which candidate is going to address black women dying at an increased rate during childbirth?"
- "Who is willing to approach immigration with a reasonable solution?"
I felt overwhelmed and unsure of where to start.
At this point, the best thing to do is create a strategy and research the issues important to you as much as possible.
You don't want to get up on Election Day and walk into the voter's booth (or whatever the social distancing alternative of that is) clueless about candidates' platforms. Even worse is avoiding action in exercising your right to vote at all. It's a very powerful asset of your citizenship to the country, and it should be exercised with as much knowledge as possible. If we learned anything from the 2016 presidential elections, black women have been tasked, whether we want it or not, with the responsibility to save the election and the country.
Since we know we get out and vote, we need to use that power to encourage others to vote as well.
One voice that has risen above all the others, especially for black millennial women, is that of Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA). She has become the Auntie we've all needed, with a voice that unapologetically tells it like it is. Earlier this year, around the time of the State of the Union address, Rep. Waters hosted a media row for millennial outlets to come and meet with Democratic representatives to ask the questions that matter most to us. Rep. Waters is on a mission to get young people as involved in politics on all levels as possible. She sees the need to have us in the room to affect change for future generations. Essentially, Rep. Waters is creating room at the table for millennials and we are here for it.
Here are a few quotes from members of Congress on what black millennials should consider as the 2020 presidential election approaches:
Rep. Al Green (D-AL) on the importance of voting and being prepared on Election Day:
Image via Congress.gov
"I'm a 'senior millennial.' But voting is very important for all of us because it's a participatory democracy and that means every person of age can participate to vote. One of the things that we have to do is assure our friends and our neighbors that their vote will count. That's something that we in Congress have to take up as an issue. We have to educate our people and let them know that if you were going to have to have this birth certificate, let's start early.
"Let's not wait until Election Day to try to go out and apply for the things necessary to vote because you can vote with a provisional ballot in some states.
"I tried that in Texas, went there to vote without my ID so that I could test the system, and as a part of testing the system, I had to get a birth certificate so that I could get the state-issued ID. I sent off for the birth certificate some years ago and I still don't have it. I'm from Louisiana and I was trying to vote in Texas. Texas requires that you have that birth certificate with a photo ID.
"It's also very important for us to register people who are not registered to vote. For the people that are registered to vote, but they're not, we need not embarrass people, we need not say things to them about the things that they should have done and haven't done. Let's take a positive approach and give everybody the opportunity. Every vote will count."
Rep. Val Demings (D-FL) on black women millennials taking the lead in voting:
Image via Congress.gov
"I look at black women like I look at good quarterbacks on the field. Good quarterbacks have to have the ability to see the entire field. They know where all the players are, they know what everybody's doing, they know the strengths and the weaknesses and then we strategically make the decision, right?
"We keep up with everybody, and it does not surprise me that when we look at voting, that commitment doesn't surprise me--that black women lead the pack--and being the most reliable voters because we understand the consequences. When we have good leaders, great things happen.
"Bad decisions impact African-American communities and families more than anybody else. And so black women, when we lead, when we speak, people listen. When we lead, people follow. We've got it. We are not going to be denied. And I think if we are serious about turning this country around, then black women have to be at the table because we have the ability to see the field differently."
On black women millennials taking their place in government positions:
"We are now in the boardroom, we're on the sidelines as sportscasters--we're doing it all. We will not be denied. And I will say this: Know your power. I think one of the biggest fears is that we will know our power. Because you know there's that self-talk: You're not the right color, you don't have the right name, you don't know the right people, all of that stuff. But what about the negative self-talk we sometimes do to ourselves? I'm not smart enough. I'm not bright enough. I don't know the right people. I need to wait my turn. What does that mean? Or I need to pay my dues. What does that mean? We have to learn to just take the lead because when we look at the state of our country right now, we need young, sharp, smart, fearless black women."
Rep. Stacey Plaskett (D-VI) on using your uniqueness as an advantage, not a hindrance:
Image via Congress.gov
"We (the Virgin Islands) and Haiti are the only two places in the Caribbean that have won our freedom through violence. And so that kind of informs how we act. But I think the other thing personally that causes me to be the way I am is that I've always kind of been an outsider. I've always felt like kind of an outsider, but someone who still needs to lead.
"At Choate [Rosemary Hall], I was president of my class for three years, and I just feel like, although you may be an outsider, you have a lot to offer. And you can circulate in a way that others can't. I think I've tried to do that here in Congress. And that's really how I've tried to operate. I've tried to get a lot done in a little bit of time.
"So just remember, as we forge ahead through this political landscape, your voice matters---you matter. Your vote matters even more, and it is your right to be a part of this process. The issues affecting our community need to be lifted up and heard, and black women have that power. It is up to us to be the leaders and the change-makers that we need. When you go to vote this year, keep in mind your core values and select the best candidate that aligns with those things. If you want your voice to be further amplified, call your local government officials, question them, and make yourself known. We are powerful and can change the world."
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Mary Long/Shutterstock
- Meet The Full List Of 2020 Presidential Candidates So Far ... ›
- For Black Women Prioritizing Health, The Census Should Be Top Of ... ›
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
These Tips Will Keep Foreplay From Becoming Boring AF (No Pun Intended)
As a writer, I happen to like quotes A LOT. When it comes to the topic of sex, specifically, there used to be a page on Twitter (it’s always gonna be Twitter to me, chile) calledKinky Quotes that I would enjoy checking out from time to time. The reason why is it was good forshowcasing content like “Foreplay. Don’t rush it. Enjoy it.”
INDEED.
Okay, but what if you’ve been in a relationship for a while now, and although the foreplay is still pretty good, the real issue is that it’s also become a bit, well, boring? What do you do? First, don’t overthink it; you’re not in a position that is strange, rare, or anything to be overly concerned about. Second, there are a few things that you and your partner can do to bring a bit more spice back into the foreplay aspect of your sex life.
1. Build Up Anticipation
I’ve been working with long-term couples for a really long time now — and if there’s one thing that can tank the sex life of people who’ve been having sex for years, it’s not doing what builds up anticipation. At the end of the day, anticipation is all about giving your partner something to look forward to. Sexting does this. Sending your partner an email with a hotel reservation or some out-of-the-blue sexcation plans does this. Calling them to share something that you want to check off of your sex-themed bucket list does this.
Pretty much doing anything that lets them know that you want them to get into the headspace of getting super excited about what you have in store for them, on the sexual tip — that is some of the best foreplay that there is, y’all. So, when’s the last time that you gave your man a preview of what is to come? Hmm…
2. Get Creative with Your Nudity
Unfortunately, our culture can be so…imbalanced (let’s go with that word) when it comes to sex that many people think it’s impossible to engage in intimacy with someone for years (even decades) on end and still find it to be an absolutely wonderful and fulfilling experience. Meanwhile, there areplenty of studies to support that sex actually gets better, the longer that you are with someone (one study says that it’s around the 15-year mark when things really start to soar!). The thing that you should avoid is falling into a rut — being lazy about intimacy, looking crazy while going to bed (y’all know what I am talking about), and not “dressing up” the gift sometimes.
I can’t tell you how many husbands I have worked with who have told me that they never get tired of their wife’s body (like…ever); what they do get sick of is no lingerie or creativity when it comes to her “sexual presentation.” Date night with no drawers on. Watching television in a sheer baby doll get-up. Celebrating a goal that he’s reached with nothing but a bow on when you come to bed. You get what I mean, right? He chose you. He wants you. Get creative with your body when it comes to intimacy sometimes, though. That way, he’ll never see you coming (well…until…you know. LOL!).
3. Leave Touch Out of It (Initially)
While once reading an article on Bustle’s site about where the term “blow job” came from (it’s a semi-long explanation; you can check it outhere), there’s a sentence that says, “The roots of the term ‘blow job’ began a bit earlier than this, however — in the 17th century, to be exact, when to ‘blow’ meant to bring someone to orgasm.” One definition of blow speaks to what we do with our breath whether it’s whistling, breathing hard, or creating a steady stream of air out of our mouth.
If you do this on your partner’s erogenous zones, it can provide a very flirty yet arousing level of stimulation to where they will want you to touch them as soon as possible. Oh, and if you add some dirty words into the mix, they will damn near be ready to climax the moment even your finger touches their body. Hey, try it. I’m absolutely not exaggerating.
4. Kiss Everywhere…BUT the Mouth (Again, Initially)
Even though some people don’t like to kiss (check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”), the rest of us? We want it as much as possible! There isa scientific reason for why that is the case too. When you kiss someone (especially in the mouth), it releases feel-good and bonding hormones and chemicals including dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin; not to mention the fact that it can also help to reduce stress. And while kissing does feel absolutely amazing, remember that the focus here is to “pregame” stimulation.
So, if you really want to get your man riled up, avoid his mouth (at first) and even his penis and opt for turn-on spots instead.The wetness of your mouth, the softness of your lips, and the texture of your tongue along his neck, around his ears or gently grazing his back? Girl, I’m getting a little hot ‘n bothered just talking — well, writing — about it.
5. Stay Out of the Bed
If there are two things that couples can find themselves getting really lazy about (if they’re not careful), it’s when they have sex and where. As far as the “when” goes,although reportedly, guys tend to prefer it in the morning (I mean, morning wood…makes sense) and women do late at night, most couples will admit that there is usually a time when they have it the most (especially if they’ve got young children — check out “How To Make Sex Easier (& More Fun) When You've Got Kids”) as a way of “meeting in the middle.” For example, if for you and your man,that’s 10 p.m. and it’s pretty much that way, every time, that can get to become boring, simply because no anticipation is necessary; you know what’s coming.
Same thing goes for always having sex in the bed. Even though it’s comfortable and accommodating to most sex positions, trying other places (at least for foreplay) can cultivate a feeling of newness and excitement. Whether it’s on the kitchen floor, in your car (when it’s in the garage), in the shower (check out “So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better”), in your closet (some people really like the closeness of it) or, what appears to be most folks’ favorite spot,the living room sofa (go figure, chile) — get out of the bed sometimes. The bed is comfy, no doubt. It’s also predictable as hell.
6. Have a Foreplay Staycation
It honestly floors me, just how many married couples I know who either haven’t taken a romantic vacation in years or (what in the world?!) haven’t done it since their honeymoon. To that, I’ll just say this: there was once a study conducted of 2,000 couples. It was revealed that of those who felt like their relationship had lost its spark, 42 percent of them were able to get it back by spending some quality time together while taking a leisure trip (without the kids). To me, this makes all of the sense in the world because romantic vacations are designed to “get off of the grid” and focus, solely, on you and your partner’s needs.
So, if you are one of those couples who doesn’t have a trip, just for you and your man, on the docket for some time this year, here’s your sign that you need to figure something out — ASAP. And what if your money is tight? What should you do in the meantime? How about a foreplay staycation? Plan 24-48 hours where you and your man do nothing but kiss, lick, and touch without any penetration involved. Play sex games. Dance naked. Come up with (new) safe words. After a day or two of nothing but this, you will be ready to explode once it’s time to actually have sex with each other!
7. Play Your Own Version of “Hot, Warm, Cold”
Temperature play plays a solid role in sexual pleasure; that’s why I’ve written articles like “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom” for the platform. Anyway, aside from the fact thatit’s pretty damn hilarious that 69 degrees is the ideal room temperature for intimacy (umm, if you catch my drift), a big part of the reason why playing around with hot, warm, and cold temps is so effective is because your nerves respond,sometimes drastically so, to variations in them.
I mean, when you stop to consider that there are8,000 nerves in a clitoris and 4,000 in a penis, imagine what some ice would do during oral sex. Or, how about heating up a sex toy that’s made out of glass or metal in some boiling water, letting it cool just a bit, and running that up and down each other’s erogenous zones? If you do this while being blindfolded, there really is no telling where the peak levels of stimulation could take you!
8. Focus on Upping the Ante on Your Partner’s Stimulation (As They Do the Same for You)
I’ve already referenced the word “stimulation” a few times. To stimulate is “to rouse to action or effort, as by encouragement or pressure; incite.” Some synonyms include arouse, inspire, spark, activate, energize, enflame, support, urge — and motivate (cue Kelly Rowland’s song, "Motivation"). And so, keeping all of this in mind, when it comes to foreplay with your partner, how much effort do you put into stimulating him — into inspiring him, energizing him, motivating him…yes, sexually?
Something that I am a big-time believer of is, it’s hard to fall into a sexual rut, if the goal that BOTH PEOPLE have is to always outdo themselves, damn near every time that they come together. That said, how can you “out-inspire” him with your compliments? How can you “out-energize” him with a creative meal that’sfilled with aphrodisiacs? How can you “out-motivate” him with some new ideas that you’ve researched while you were at work?
When it comes to both foreplay and sex, “applying pressure” can be a ton of fun — when you see yourself as your own competition as far as taking your partner to new heights in the stimulation department.
9. Be Unpredictable
Unpredictable can go a lot of ways. In the context of what I’m referring to, I’m not talking about being fickle, erratic, and unreliable. Nah, what I mean is, be intentional about having a few tricks up your sleeve that your partner would never see coming.
An example of this comes from a song from a local legend here, Shannon Sanders (if you know, you know). He once wrote a song entitled “Interstate” and the intro starts off with him saying, “What you doin’? Not you. Didn’t think you were the type.” Yeah, you can read between the lines (or click on the hyperlink to the title) to get what he’s talking about yet I’m pretty sure that what made the experience, 50 times greater, is she did something that was outside of the norm. When it comes to foreplay and sex — that is typically the case. #wink
10. Switch the Energy Up
Foreplay can — and should — have different themes from time to time. One time, focus on being romantic (rose petals and toasting each other). Another time, lean into being kinky (where are your handcuffs and bondage rope?). Still, another time, discuss a fantasy that you each want to fulfill. Then play dress-up as you role play. Record (the audio) of yourselves having sex one day; then play it another day — during foreplay.
Spoon naked and talk about all of the things that you adore about each other’s bodies. Get some oral sex dice (like thesehere) and see where throwing the dice will take you. Y’all, energy is such a big part of foreplay and sex, and the more you master switching it up, the more you and your partner will look forward to coming — and cumming — together for years to come. No doubt about it, sis.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy