
It is now autumn, which means most people will be staying in more and going out less. And what better way to stay home than to stream new series/ movies or binge old favorites? This October, Netflix and HBO Max have everything you need to binge-watch the right way. From Yvonne Orji’s HBO comedy special A Whole Me to the highly-anticipated third season of Netflix’s Love Is Blind, October’s got you covered.
So grab your blanket and check out all that’s new and exciting on Netflix and HBO Max this month.
What’s New on Netflix: October 2022
October 1
17 Again
30 Minutes or Less
60 Days In, season 3
Any Given Sunday
Barbie: It Takes Two, season 2
Call Me by Your Name
Charlotte’s Web (2006)
Chocolat
City Slickers
The Color Purple
Gladiator
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
I Love You, Man
Labyrinth
Land of the Lost
Last Seen Alive
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
National Lampoon’s European Vacation
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Ocean’s Eleven
Ocean’s Thirteen
Ocean’s Twelve
Point Break (1991)
Risky Business
Robin Hood
Runaway Bride
Rush Hour
Rush Hour 2
Rush Hour 3
Scooby-Doo
Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
Sex and the City 2
Sex and the City: The Movie
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie
Vegas Vacation
Walking Tall
Wedding Crashers
Yes Man
October 2
Forever Queens — Netflix Series
October 3
Chip and Potato, season 4 — Netflix Family
Jexi
October 4
Hasan Minhaj: The King’s Jester — Netflix Comedy
October 5
Bling Empire, season 3 — Netflix Series
High Water — Netflix Series
Jumping From High Places — Netflix Film
Mr. Harrigan’s Phone — Netflix Film
Nailed It!, season 7 — Netflix Series
The Fight for Justice: Paolo Guerrero — Netflix Series
The Trapped 13: How We Survived the Thai Cave — Netflix Documentary
Togo — Netflix Film
October 6
Aftershock: Everest and the Nepal Earthquake — Netflix Documentary
The Joys and Sorrows of Young Yuguo — Netflix Documentary
October 7
Conversations With a Killer: The Jeffrey Dahmer Tapes — Netflix Documentary
Derry Girls, season 3 — Netflix Series
Doll House — Netflix Film
Glitch — Netflix Series
Kev Adams: The Real Me — Netflix Comedy
Luckiest Girl Alive — Netflix Film
Man on Pause — Netflix Series
The Midnight Club — Netflix Series
The Mole — Netflix Series
Oddballs — Netflix Family
Old People — Netflix Film
The Redeem Team — Netflix Documentary
Tiger & Bunny 2, Part 2 — Netflix Anime
October 9
Missing Link
October 10
LEGO Ninjago, season 4
Crystallized, part 2
Spirit Rangers — Netflix Family
October 11
The Cage — Netflix Series
DEAW#13 Udom Taephanich Stand-up Comedy Show — Netflix Comedy
Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever — Netflix Comedy
Island of the Sea Wolves — Netflix Documentary
October 12
Belascoarán, PI — Netflix Series
Blackout
Easy-Bake Battle — Netflix Series
The Nutty Boy — Netflix Family
Wild Croc Territory — Netflix Series
October 13
Dead End: Paranormal Park, season 2 — Netflix Family
Exception — Netflix Anime
The Playlist — Netflix Series
The Sinner, season 4: Percy
Someone Borrowed — Netflix Film
Sue Perkins: Perfectly Legal — Netflix Series
October 14
Black Butterflies — Netflix Series
The Curse of Bridge Hollow — Netflix Film
Everything Calls for Salvation — Netflix Series
Holy Family — Netflix Series
Mismatched, season 2 — Netflix Series
Take 1 — Netflix Series
October 15
Blippi’s Spooky Spell Halloween
Under the Queen’s Umbrella — Netflix Series
October 16
Dracula Untold
Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am
October 17
Waffles + Mochi’s Restaurant — Netflix Family
October 18
Gabriel Iglesias: Stadium Fluffy Live From Los Angeles — Netflix Comedy
LiSA Another Great Day — Netflix Documentary
Somebody Feed Phil, season 6 — Netflix Series
Unsolved Mysteries: Volume 3 — Netflix Series (new episodes weekly)
October 19
The Green Glove Gang — Netflix Series
Love Is Blind, season 3 — Netflix Series (new episodes weekly)
Notre-Dame — Netflix Series
The School for Good and Evil — Netflix Film
The Stranger — Netflix Film
October 21
28 Days Haunted — Netflix Series
Barbarians II — Netflix Series
Descendant — Netflix Documentary
From Scratch — Netflix Series
High: Confession of an Ibiza Drug Mule — Netflix Series
Oni: Thunder God’s Tale — Netflix Family
Pokémon Ultimate Journeys — Netflix Family
October 22
LOL Surprise! Winter Fashion Show
October 23
Franco Escamilla: Eavesdropping — Netflix Comedy
October 24
The Chalk Line — Netflix Film
October 25
Barbie Epic Road Trip — Netflix Family
Blade of the 47 Ronin
Fortune Feimster: Good Fortune — Netflix Comedy
Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities — Netflix Series
October 26
Fugitive: The Curious Case of Carlos Ghosn — Netflix Documentary
The Good Nurse — Netflix Film
Hellhole — Netflix Film
Robbing Mussolini — Netflix Film
October 27
Cici — Netflix Film
Daniel Spellbound — Netflix Family
Dubai Bling — Netflix Series
Earthstorm — Netflix Documentary
Family Reunion: Part 5 — Netflix Family
Hotel Transylvania 2
Romantic Killer — Netflix Anime
October 28
All Quiet on the Western Front — Netflix Film
The Bastard Son & the Devil Himself — Netflix Series
Big Mouth, season 6 — Netflix Series
Drink Masters — Netflix Series
I Am a Stalker — Netflix Documentary
If Only — Netflix Series
My Encounter With Evil — Netflix Documentary
Wendell & Wild — Netflix Film
Wild is the Wind — Netflix Film
October 29
Deadwind, season 3 — Netflix Series
What’s new on HBO Max: October 2022
October 1
Æon Flux, 2005 (HBO)
Along Came A Spider, 2001 (HBO)
Bad News Bears, 2005 (HBO)
Bad Teacher, 2011
Before I Fall, 2017 (HBO)
Before Mickey Mouse: A History of American Animation
Black Nativity, 2013 (Director's Cut) (HBO)
Blackthorn, 2011 (HBO)
Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid, 1969
C.R.A.Z.Y., 2005
Call Me By Your Name, 2017
Century of Animation Showcase: 1922, 2022
Charlie St. Cloud, 2010 (HBO)
Christmas in Connecticut, 1945
Coneheads, 1993 (HBO)
Disclosure, 1994 (HBO)
District 9, 2009 (HBO)
Down Terrace, 2009 (HBO)
Dude Where's My Car?, 2000 (HBO)
Eyimofe (This Is My Desire), 2020
Fair Game, 2010 (HBO)
Federico Fellini's Intervista, 1987
Frank, 2014 (HBO)
Freedomland, 2006 (HBO)
Grand Piano, 2013 (HBO)
Hoosiers, 1986 (HBO)
Hot Summer Nights, 2017 (HBO)
Hotel Mumbai, 2018 (HBO)
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, 1988 (HBO)
Jumper, 2008 (HBO)
Juno, 2007 (HBO)
Kiss The Girls, 1997
La ronde, 1950
Let's Be Cops, 2014
Little Women, 1933
Luci del Varieta, 1950
Max Steiner: Maestro of Movie Music, 2019
Meet the Spartans, 2008 (Extended Version) (HBO)
Miracle in Milan, 1951
My Best Friend's Girl, 2008 (Extended Version) (HBO)
Navy Seals, 1990 (HBO)
Nightcrawler, 2014 (HBO)
No Place on Earth, 2012 (HBO)
Nothing But Trouble,1991 (HBO)
Oliver!, 1968
Open Season 2, 2008
Open Season, 2006
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, 2016 (HBO)
Promised Land, 2012 (HBO)
Rock Dog, 2016 (HBO)
Scooby-Doo! The Sword and the Scoob!
S.W.A.T. (Movie), 2003
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D, 2012 (HBO)
Slacker, 1990
Spotlight, 2015 (HBO)
Terms of Endearment, 1983 (HBO)
The Adventures of Pinocchio, 1996
The American President, 1995
The Bad News Bears, 1976 (HBO)
The Bad News Bears Go To Japan, 1978 (HBO)
The Bad News Bears In Breaking Training, 1977 (HBO)
The Bridge on the River Kwai, 1957
The Eye, 2008 (HBO)
The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia , 2013
The Perfect Host, 2010 (HBO)
The Perfect Storm, 2000
The Swimming Pool, 1969
The Two Faces of January, 2014
The Witch, 2015 (HBO)
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie, 2012 (HBO)
To The Wonder, 2012
Twisted, 2004 (HBO)
Waist Deep, 2006 (HBO)
Whose Line is It Anyway?, Season 9
Yvonne Orji: A Whole Me, Special Premiere (HBO)
October 2
101 Places to Party Before You Die, Season 1
Housing Complex C
October 5
Eraser: Reborn, 2022
October 6
Folklore, Max Original Seasons 2 Premiere
Pennyworth: The Origin of Batman's Butler, Max Original Season 3 Premiere
Wahl Street, Max Original Season 2 Premiere
October 7
Habla Loud, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
October 8
Straight Out of Nowhere: Scooby-Doo Meets Courage the Cowardly Dog, 2021
October 9
We Baby Bears S1E
October 10
Avenue 5, Season 2 Premiere (HBO)
Oh Hell, Max Original Season 1 Premiere
October 11
38 at the Garden, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
October 14
Blippi Wonders, Season 2A
Fixer Upper: The Castle
October 15
Trick or Treat Scooby-Doo!, 2022
October 17
Mr. Pickles
The Vow, Part Two Documentary Series Premiere (HBO)
October 18
Batwheels, Season 1B Premiere
By Design: The Joe Caroff Story
Mama's Boy, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
Meet the Batwheels, Season 1A
October 19
Year One: A Political Odyssey, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
October 20
Legacy, Max Original Season 1 Premiere
The Fastest Woman on Earth, 2022
October 21
Restoration Road with Clint Harp Season 3
Teen Titans Go! Season 7D
Vale Dos Esquecidos, Max Original Season 1 Premiere
October 23
La Pitchoune: Cooking in France Season 1
October 24
Green Lantern: Beware My Power, 2022
October 26
A Tree of Life: The Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
October 28
Garcia, Max Original Season 1 Premiere
October 30
The Lost Kitchen, Season 3
The White Lotus, Season 2 Premiere (HBO)
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images
Your December 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Surrender & Alignment
December is about letting go. We end the year with the need for more peace, reflection, and rejuvenation, and that is exactly what December is providing for us. The Sun is in Sagittarius, and anything is possible. This is the month to believe in that and to know that the universe is supporting you. With a Supermoon in Gemini as we begin the month as well, we have an opportunity to gain the closure we have been looking for this year and to wrap up old projects, ideas, and communication breakthroughs.
This is the month to make your peace the priority and let go of trying to control the way the tides are turning. Trust in your new beginning, and give yourself time to prepare for it this month.
A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
You're Over Him. Should You Wait Until After The Holidays To Say It?
When a client told me that she was seriously considering ending her relationship of 10 months before Christmas, I wasn’t surprised. That’s not a sneak diss on what she has going on with her man or anything; it’s just that I know that the holiday season (the month of December, more specifically) is a very popular time for folks to call things off. Between the pressure of bringing people around family and the urge to start off the new year with a clean slate — yeah, it makes sense.
At the same time, though, I do think that there is something to be said for ending things well — and when it comes to a break-up? During this time of the year? Before you make that official move, I just want to make sure that you’ve thought a few things through.
Things like what exactly? So glad that you asked.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyOkay, so if you’ve never heard of the “10-date rule” before, it’s basically the belief that after 10 consecutive dates with someone, it’s time to come to the conclusion that you are officially in a relationship with them. Personally, I have lived, observed and counseled enough people to say that when it comes to knowing where you stand with another person, you shouldn’t assume one damn thing — you should 1000 percent communicate your thoughts and listen to theirs in return.
That said, it is a bit different (wouldn’t you say?) if you’ve been out on a couple of dates with someone vs. if you’ve been with them for almost a year. So yeah, the first thing to ponder is how serious the dynamic is. Because honestly, if things are new and fairly casual, I don’t see how ending things, whether it’s the holiday season or not, is going to matter much — one way or another.
Remember, the holidays tend to be a very emotional time; however, if there isn’t a huge emotional investment going on, I don’t think anyone in a casual situation is going to look back and think that you are a villain (or Grinch), just because you’d prefer not to go on a third date with them. Good lord.
Next point.
Do You Want to Slow Down or End Things Entirely?
GiphyAre you totally over him or is it more like there are some things about the situation that you want to step back and ponder before making any major decisions about the future? If the answer is “B,” I recommend talking it over ASAP; especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for a while at this point. I say this because, whether you all are at the “meet the family” (or have already met the family) stage or not, when people are in a relationship, they tend to factor one another into their holiday plans — and it’s hella inconsiderate to not take this into account when it comes to the guy who you are seeing.
That said, I will say this: It’s mighty interesting that you are choosing this time of the year for this type of relational self-reflection — so, while you’re on this break, think about what it symbolizes.
For instance, are you slowing things down right now because you’re not sure if you want to go into a new year with him or are you doing it because spending the holidays together tends to represent that a relationship is far deeper than you want yours to be right now? Because really, you could’ve gone with the summertime (for example) not the holiday season to make this type of move…so, if your “pump the brakes” time is now, chances are, there is some subconscious subtext going on that you really should get to the root of.
Actual Holidays Are a DEFINITE No-No
GiphyYou would think that this wouldn’t need to be said yet since I once experienced a guy who decided to be a complete a*shole on my birthday some years back — yeah, let’s address it. Isn’t it interesting that one study revealed that during the first week of December, searches for how to break-up with someone go up by a whopping 60 percent? Then, if you add to that the fact that the holidays can sometimes be pretty stressful — well, while most folks with a heart and a conscience wouldn’t dream of breaking up with someone on an actual holiday, sometimes the pressure of everything can create the perfect storm for it to happen anyway.
That said, a super-duper throwback song by Neil Sedaka entitled, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” — and it absolutely is. Know what makes it worse: It happening on a holiday, so that every time the day rolls around, it’s bittersweet because you remember that someone broke up with you then.
Listen, just because you may not love or even like someone (in that way) anymore, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them with some common decency and respect. Besides, don’t you also want your own Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to be as unscathed and drama-less as possible?
Whatever you’re gonna do, you’re grown, chile. If you want my advice, though — put good energy into your future holiday seasons and avoid breaking up (or even having deep decisions) on actual holidays.
Definitely Keep the Golden Rule in Mind
GiphyProbably, until the end of time, there are going to be debates about whether karma is real (in the sense of it being scientifically proven). While quite a bit of data says that it isn’t and that it tends to be adapted and promoted by certain faiths more than anything — if you do believe that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8), at the end of the day, that is pretty much what karma is all about and, as I oftentimes say, karma (or sowing and reaping) don’t have expiration dates. In other words, what you have said and done can manifest in ways and at times that you never saw coming. A cautionary tale, indeed.
So yeah — even if you’ve been with ole’ boy for a while now, you’ve tried to make it work and you just don’t see a future for the two of you anymore, however you decide to end it, definitely keep the golden rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you in mind.
Be as kind as you are honest. Be as empathetic (putting yourself in his shoes) as much as you possibly can. Avoid gaslighting him about how he feels about your decision. Be clear about how you’d like things to be moving forward (for instance, if you actually DON’T want to be friends afterwards, there’s no need to say it). And try not to do anything that will make him feel used — like waiting until after receiving a Christmas gift to end it (you’d be amazed by how many people do exactly that. SMDH).
The thing about break-ups is, live long enough, and you’re probably going to be on the giving and receiving end of one. So, even if you’re not really emotionally invested in your relationship anymore, be kind to your future self and be as respectful as possible throughout your…relational transition. Because even if you don’t feel like he deserves it, your feelings up the road, with someone else who may do the same thing to you…absolutely do.
Timing Is Everything
GiphyA bishop by the name of Fulton J. Sheen once said, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is ‘timing’ it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” And while it might seem really challenging to figure out when the RIGHT time to break up with someone is — “right” is about using good judgment, right is about conforming to certain principles (like integrity and fairness), right is about doing things in order. Now with that in mind, is the RIGHT TIMING now or should it be later?
Only you can really answer that yet what I will say is if your mind, body and spirit aren’t on the same page — figure out why before making any moves. Oh, and if it’s simply about fear — girl, whether it’s November 30, December 9 or January 14…break-ups are always going to be uncomfortable. It’s about knowing what’s best for you and then ending things in a way that is as respectful, timing-wise, as possible (again, due to the whole karma thing).
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‘Tis the season and sometimes “out with the old” means leaving a relationship behind. Just make sure that you move with wisdom and discernment and not hypersensitivity and knee-jerking.
That way, you can look back on every holiday season with as little regret as possible.
Due to how you handled things. Including a (potential) break-up.
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