Welp. Here I am, back again, with another article on how we can all take better care of our vaginas. I must admit that even though the vagina (our beautiful flower) is something that I am semi-passionate about sharing information on, even I continue to be amazed by just how much intel there is to learn.
Take the vaginal microbiome, for example. Even if you do happen to know what that is (and you get an automatic 10 points if indeed you do!), how often do you hear it brought up in conversation, in articles, or even on social media? And yet, as you’re about to see in just a moment, if more of us focused on taking good care of this very thing, our vagina — and overall health — would prosper on a whole ‘nother level.
So, if you’re curious about something that you maintain to keep your vagina in the best shape possible, read on. This here will certainly do it.
What Is Your Vaginal Microbiome?
Mother Nature Art GIF by Emilia SchettinoGiphyOkay, so what exactly is the vaginal microbiome? Well, let’s begin with the term human microbiota.
The long short of it is each human has a whopping 10-100 trillion symbiotic microbial cells in their body; most of them are housed in the gut. What this is called is the human microbiota. Well, the genetic profile of the microbiota is known as the microbiome, and the vaginal microbiome, specifically, consists of the different types of bacteria that are housed in a woman’s genital tract.
The reason why all of this is so vital is because, since 80 percent of your immune system is housed in your gut and the overgrowth of bacteria in your genital tract can lead to various infections (especially bacterial vaginosis, which is otherwise known as BV), you’ve got to be proactive in taking good care of both your microbiota as well as your microbiome.
As far as your human microbiota — which is sometimes called your gut microbiome — is concerned, you can check out a few tips on how to properly care for it here. In the meantime, when it comes to your vaginal microbiome, we’ll get more into how to keep it in good condition below.
How Does Your Vaginal Microbiome Impact Your Overall Health and Well-Being?
You definitely want your vaginal microbiome to be as healthy as possible. The main reason why is that it helps to keep your vagina at a good pH level which creates an environment where you are less vulnerable to vaginal infections, including STI/STDs, bacterial vaginosis (BV), yeast infections, urinary tract infections (UTIs) and pelvic inflammatory disease. Also, if you are currently in the process of trying to conceive, a healthy vaginal microbiome can help to reduce your chances of your baby being born prematurely. So yeah, having and maintaining a healthy vaginal microbiome is a pretty big deal.
Not only that but when you end up getting recurring infections, that can end up taking a toll on your overall health and well-being. For instance, studies reveal that STI/STDs can increase your chances of getting cancer, developing problems with your nervous system, heart disease, and even neurological damage. Or if BV goes untreated , that can increase your chances of getting an STI/STD, developing pelvic inflammatory disease, or being diagnosed with endometriosis.
So basically, the more proactive you are in taking care of your vaginal microbiome, the better your chances are of your health remaining in great condition, period.
5 Things You Can Do to Keep Your Vaginal Microbiome in Good Shape
Menstrual Cup GIF by Period NirvanaGiphyIf you just read all of what I said and you’re thinking something along the lines of, “Okay, Shellie, simplify what I need to do to take care of my vaginal microbiome,” — the first thing that I would say is you need to make sure that there are more “good bacteria” in your genital tract than bad. A surefire way to do that is to consume probiotics, specifically, the kind that are high in lactobacilli, because it contains what helps your vaginal pH to remain where it needs to be.
If you’ve never taken probiotics in a supplement form before, a list of some of the (current) best ones for women’s health is located here and here.
Aside from that, here are five other proven and effective things that you can do:
1. Eat plant-based foods.
One of the main goals that you should have is to “feed your vagina” foods that will either give it more good bacteria or will help the good bacteria that is already in your vagina thrive; many plant-based ones will do just that. Prebiotic ones like onions, asparagus, and bananas will help healthy bacteria to grow. Probiotic foods like sauerkraut and pickles help to create good bacteria.
Foods that are high in fiber, like sweet potatoes, blueberries, and almonds, can help lactobacilli to remain intact (while we’re here, processed food has been proven to throw your vaginal microbiome off, so please consume them in extreme moderation).
2. Use a menstrual cup.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a billion times. Lawd, I wish that I wasn’t late in the game when it comes to using a menstrual cup. Although on my heavy period days, I was going to need the backup of pads regardless, on lighter ones, a cup feels like you’re not on your cycle at all! Oh, how I adore them so.
As far as your vaginal microbiome goes, they’re bomb because, well, since cups collect blood (instead of just letting blood lodge in your vagina like tampons do), studies say that you increase your chances by 37 percent to have a healthier vaginal microbiome and reduce your chances by 26 percent of not getting BV at all. Sounds like a win, all the way around, if you ask me.
3. Make sure your lubricant is pH-balanced.
Although some people think that lubricant should only be used if you naturally struggle with getting wet, I don’t agree. So much, in fact, that I once penned, “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant.” Just make sure that you go with a lube that will help your vagina to remain at the pH level that it should be (which is somewhere between 3.8-5.0).
Silicone-based ones are good in this department. Plus, they last longer than water-based lubricants and are safe to use with condoms or on your sex toys.
4. Consistently sterilize your sex toys.
Speaking of sex toys, please make sure to sterilize yours after each and every use. Not only does it help to keep bad bacteria at bay, but it also reduces your chances of getting an STI/STD or even BV or a UTI. For tips on how to properly clean yours, click here.
5. Drink some coffee. Or green tea. Or red wine.
If very few things bring you joy, like a hot cup of java, I’ve got great news for you. Since coffee contains polyphenols and polyphenols are plant-based chemical compounds that are loaded with antioxidants, drinking coffee can help to support the good bacteria that are in your vagina (so long as you don’t overdo it!).
If coffee isn’t your thing, green tea and red wine have these polyphenols in them, too.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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