10 Ways Alcohol Can Be Good For You Past A Great Buzz
So, I've got a question for you — when's the last time you took a trip to the liquor store? If it's been a hot minute, by the time you finish reading this article, you might want to treat yourself to a quick run by the closest one. Now before we hop into this topic, I will be the first to say that if there's anything that requires moderation, it's alcohol. At the same time, though, I think it's important to share that when it's consumed responsibly, there are some benefits that can come from enjoying a glass or bottle of it.
That's what I'm on with this piece. I've got 10 ways that sippin' on a lil' sumthin' sumthin' can actually be better for your health than you might've initially thought (or have even been told before).
1. Red Wine Fights Off Viruses
This first one is probably a "duh" for a lot of you because we talk about red wine (which is fermented dark-colored grapes) on this site, fairly often. As far as health benefits go, the list is endless. Red wine is high in antioxidants. Red wine can benefit your heart and lower your cholesterol levels. Red wine helps to regulate your blood sugar levels. Red wine can help to ease depression-related symptoms. Red wine can even help to keep cancer cells at bay.
However, the reason why red wine gets a special shout-out here is because I'm writing this during cold and flu season and, believe it or not, red wine contains properties that can fight off free radicals. This, in turn, keeps your cells stronger which makes it more difficult to catch viruses that lead to colds and the flu. (See. I told you that you were gonna wanna run to the store, soon!)
2. Vodka Kills Germs That Cause Bad Breath
Vodka is a clear distilled beverage that can be made from all kinds of stuff; usually, it's made from a combination of potatoes, sugar beet molasses, and cereal grains, though. The reason why vodka is featured in this article is because it, on average, contains 40% ABV (alcohol by volume). The high alcoholic content makes it a powerful mouthwash, thanks to all of the antibacterial properties that are in it. So, if your breath is a little ripe and you don't have any Listerine or gum nearby, a shot of vodka is basically just as good. No joke.
3. Hard Apple Cider Is Filled with Antioxidants
Something that I really like, especially around the fall and winter seasons, is apple cider. Basically, it's unfiltered apple juice. Cider becomes alcoholic when yeast is added to it which turns the sugar content of apples into alcohol. This is where hard cider comes in. For the record, there are about three different kinds of hard cider — dry cider which has the least amount of sugar, off-dry cider which has a sweeter and richer flavor, and semi-sweet which is actually the sweetest. These ciders are easy to find "flat" or sparkling. They are beneficial, health-wise because apples are loaded with antioxidants like quercetin, catechin, phloridzin, and chlorogenic acid. These help to reduce oxidative stress while lowering your blood pressure and promoting good gut health in the process.
4. Beer Is Full of B-Vitamins
Beer is a simple kind of drink. The reason why I say that is because it only needs four ingredients in order to exist — grain, hops, yeast, and water. When those things are brewed and fermented, the alcoholic beverage that so many enjoy is birthed. Something that's cool about beer is it's a great source of B-vitamins, especially thiamin and riboflavin; that's because the grains and yeast contain both of these. Since thiamin helps to keep your metabolism on-point and offers your nerves and muscles much-needed support as riboflavin assists with breaking down carbs and gives your body energy, I'm sure you can see why I decided to put beer on the list (I've got another reason as well; it's closer to the end).
5. Tequila Can Help You to Shed Pounds
If you're a fan of agave nectar, whether you realize it or not, you are indirectly a fan of tequila. That's because they both come from the same source — the agave plant. Tequila is made by steaming the plant in industrial ovens and then distilling the liquid. While traditionally, tequila has a reputation for making folks want to dance on tables or get on their back (wink), there's something else that it has the ability to do — lose weight.
For one thing, tequila is actually safer to use than artificial sweeteners. Also, there are studies that say that it can help to lower your blood sugar levels and help you to feel fuller, longer. So, while you should definitely consume it in moderation — cause tequila can really have you OUT HERE — if you want to drink something without the worries of what it will do to your waistline, tequila actually has your back better than most.
6. Whiskey Soothes a Sore Throat
Although I'm not a heavy drinker by any stretch, don't put it past me to enjoy a couple of shots of whiskey (or even moonshine) from time to time. Whiskey is an alcoholic drink that is made out of fermented cereal grains like corn, barley malt, rye, and wheat. And because the properties in it have proven themselves to be a pretty potent decongestant, this is why whiskey is the base ingredient of hot toddies — it is able to help to clear up congestion (by dilating mucus membranes), provide pain-killing compounds and yes, when it's warmed up some lemon juice and cinnamon, you are well on your way to providing yourself with some pain relief and probably a really good nap too if you are a little under the weather.
7. Bourbon Can Boost Your Immunity
It's interesting that a lot of people don't know that bourbon is a form of whiskey. Ah, but it is. What makes it different is that it's made from mostly corn. I also once read that in order for whiskey to be referred to as bourbon, it has to be made in these here United States. Anyway, health-wise, bourbon is cool because it can help to dilate your blood vessels. As a result, when you have a cold or some sort of congestion, the ingredients in bourbon can help to decrease the mucus. That, along with the antioxidants in bourbon, this drink can help to build up your immunity over time. Dope.
8. Gin Is a Diabetic Alternative
Back in the day, one of my favorite drinks used to be gin and juice (grapefruit juice, that is). I never really thought about what gin consisted of but now I know. It's a drink that's made from a base grain (typically wheat or barely) that is fermented and then has juniper berries and other spices added to it. Something else that's notable about gin is you can actually make it from vodka. That's another tale for another time, though. As far as health benefits go, gin is cool because it's got a low caloric count and contains no saturated fats, carbs or sugars; this makes it a great alternative for people with type 1 diabetes. While it should go on record that no alcohol is best if you are diabetic, if you're looking for a bit of a fix, gin can give you that. Just make sure that you avoid sugar mixers. Drinking it with tonic water is usually best.
9. Beer and Wine Reduce Kidney Stones
Not too long ago, I was talking to the guy who cuts my yard about where he had been for several weeks. "Have you ever had kidney stones before?" he asked. "They are hell." Fortunately, I can't relate. I do know some people who have (mostly guys) and they share his sentiment. Anyway, one thing that can increase your chances of experiencing a kidney stone is consuming a lot of sugary drinks (juice included). On the flip side, two drinks that can decrease your chances of going through this kind of torture is beer and wine. Hey, don't take my word for it, though. You can read all about it right here.
10. Champagne Boosts Your Libido
If you've ever wondered what the difference is between champagne and wine, probably the easiest way to explain it is wine is made from grapes (or some other type of fruit) while champagne is a kind of wine that's made from a specific grape that came from a specific place. As far as what makes champagne different from sparkling wine, all champagne is sparkling wine yet all sparkling wine is not champagne. That is a bit of a complex story, though (you can read more about it via Boston Magazine's article "Understanding the Differences Between Champagne and Sparkling Wine"). Oh, and if you've always wondered why champagne has bubbles, unlike other wines, it tends to go through a second fermentation process that results in carbon dioxide gas being trapped in its bottles (about a million per flute).
Anyway, if champagne is totally your thing because wine and champagne are both able to relax blood vessels which increases blood flow (including to your genital region), that is one way that it is able to boost your libido. Plus, word on the street is champagne can do all of this at a much faster pace than other alcoholic drinks while not totally zapping your energy in the process. This makes it a top-tier way to get those juices flowing if you're looking to have a really good night. Is your car running yet? #wink
For more inspiration, self-care, and healing tips, check out xoNecole's Wellness section here.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
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The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
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1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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