

Something that I really enjoy doing is providing my clients with proven and effective sex hacks. One day, when I was speaking to a wife about how “blah” her bedroom was (as far as intimacy goes), I suggested that she consider sprucing things up by changing her color palette.
“Shellie, you really think that would change anything?” she asked with a big hint of sarcasm and skepticism.
“I mean, even the Bible mentions a green bed in the Song of Solomon.”
And indeed, it does. Song of Solomon 1:16 (NKJV), the Black woman (Song of Solomon 1:5) known as the Shulamite said, “Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! Also, our bed is green.” I absolutely adore that because I know what green symbolizes. It represents things like health, fertility, rebirth, growth, and peace, and for a woman to say that the bed that she shares with her lover is filled with all of those things…I mean, how awesome is that?
It's also a great way to intro the topic for today — color psychology. Not just that, but how you actually can use it to make your sex life better. If your curiosity is piqued, read on to find out how you can use certain hues to cultivate a sexier atmosphere in your own life.
Color Psychology. Revisited.
Okay, so sincepsychology is the study of the mind and how humans behave because of it,color psychology is about how our minds respond and react to various hues. Although some people are somewhat unconvinced that color psychology is a “real thing,” there is enough research and data that’s available to support its validity.
For instance, one of the reasons why high-end hotels go with white sheets for their bedding is because white represents things like purity, cleanliness, and even luxury. One reason why many of us wear black to funerals is because black symbolizes things like formality and death. If whenever you go to a spa, you notice a lot of blue, that could be because that color is all about peace, tranquility, and trust.
Although the science behind color psychology is semi-complex, the main reason why color has the ability to affect us in the way that it does is because of the way that our eyes and brain interact with certain lights and wavelengths. In other words, each color causes our brains to either absorb light or reflect it, and based on what our brain does in response to all of this, that has a direct impact on our moods.
For example, when we process something as being the color yellow, it can provide us with a surge of energy, while if we process something as being red, it can literally increase our heart rate and adrenaline levels. And this is why you may notice classrooms that are painted yellow or why you may have noticed that red is considered to be a sexually stimulating hue.
Speaking of red, this would be a good of a time as any to segue into why it and certain other colors have the ability to influence and even improve your sex life.
Colors That Work As an “Aphrodisiac”
When it comes to certain colors having an aphrodisiac effect, since I just mentioned red, let’s start with it.
If you were to poll a group of people about a color that they would consider to be the absolute sexiest, there’s a pretty good chance that red would top the list. That’s because it is associated with things like love, passion, energy, excitement, and desire.
In fact, one study revealed that men find red to be the sexiest color to the point where almost 60 percent of them were more inclined to ask a woman out if she happened to have that color on. Not only that, but if women were standing in front of a red backdrop, most of the men in the study automatically found them to be more attractive.
Something else that’s interesting about the color red is “…it's not just men, but women, too, who see women who dress in red as more overtly sexual and open to having sex.” So clearly, if you want to be seen in a sensual way, wearing red (even if it’s just red lipstick) is something that you should consider doing.
Is red the only sexually stimulating hue out here, though? Nope. Aside from green, which I mentioned in the intro:
- Orange represents creativity and enthusiasm
- Purple represents luxury and spirituality
- Black represents mystery and elegance
- Pink represents femininity and playfulness
- Brown represents warmth and comfort
While keeping all of this in mind, now that you know that even science backs that color can mentally and emotionally affect you, when it comes to your sex life, it’s important to select shades that will influence the vibe that you want to give in order to receive the results that you want. For instance, do you want a passionate night? You might want to go with red.
On the other hand, if you’d like to experience a little of what I call “comfort sex” (check out “What Is 'Comfy Sex'? How Can You Get More Of It?”), you might want to bring some brown into the picture. Interesting how each shade can bring about something different, right?
How to Use Color to Improve the Quality of Your Sex Life
GiphyOkay, sonow that you know that there is some straight-up legitimacy that comes with incorporating color into, not just your life, but your bedroom (activities) as well, let’s briefly explore a few practical ways that you can do just that.
Sleepwear. Sometimes, the topic of lingerie comes up with my clients (check out “Lingerie Hacks: How To Choose The Best Kind For Your Body Type”). When it does, I will recommend that the wife wear something that is in her husband’s favorite color — because if she’s already in something that’s hella sexy, if it’s also in a color that he really likes, that can cause his eyes to light up all the more!
However, when it comes to color psychology, specifically, if you want to get your partner to try something new, maybe an orange teddy will subconsciously convey the message. Bottom line here, try wearing something in the color that represents the kind of night you want to have — and see if it helps to push things into that direction.
Bedding.A firm mattress. Some breathable bedding (like cotton or sateen). Scented sheets. All of this can play a seductive role in having a great night with your bae — and so can selecting sheets that are of a particular color. For this one, you might want to go with a darker hue like purple or even charcoal because they both can make you feel extravagant — and since one definition of that word is “going beyond bounds” — well…I’ll leave that to your imagination. #wink
Lighting. This one just might surprise you. Although you might automatically think that going with something like a red light bulb is the best route to take on the “set the mood” lighting tip, you actually should opt for brown instead. I actuallyread an article that said in a lot of sex scenes from popular movies (like Fifty Shades of Grey), brown was used because it’s a very inviting color. Hmph, when you think about the warm'n'cozy thing, that definitely tracks.
Footwear. When you get a chance, check out TIME’s “Science Proves It: Men Really Do Find High Heels Sexier.” When I shared it with a few “feet men” that I know and asked them if this also applies to sex, each of them said that they are super turned on by women who wear stilettos in the bedroom. I was told that they like it because it makes their legs look longer, it’s unbelievably feminine, and if it’s even erotic. The best color to go with? Black is a classic choice — and since it also symbolizes things like power and authority, if you want to be a bit dominant tonight, a black pump will certainly help to get the message across.
Lipstick. And yes, the lips. A little over a year ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “The Secret To The Ultimate Oral Sex Experience? Lip Gloss.” When you get a chance, check it out and then think about applying a coat of it to some red or pink lips. It will make your lips look unbelievably sensual and will be sure to ramp up his desire for you…even more.
____
When it comes to having a truly fulfilling sex life, it doesn’t always take a lot of effort. Sometimes, just the change of color can make it happen. At least, that’s what science says.
Try a new color — then report back about which one worked best for you.
I can’t wait to hear it. #wink
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album, but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
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