Every few months or so, I'll intentionally peruse through cyberspace to see what's up in the sex trends department. I must say that there has never been one time when at least three things haven't made me respond with either a "For real?" or a "Gee, what is that?" This particular time, what got me was the high praise that the 70 sex position has been getting, the brain orgasms that we can apparently have and oh, yeah, vegan condoms (vegan condoms?!).
Some of my friends are so used to me hitting them up with this kind of random information, that most of them no longer share my inquisitive excitement. Instead, they are usually like, "Really girl? Let me call you back." (Le sigh) So, I decided that this go around, I would share my findings with y'all.
After checking out the 10 current sex trends that piqued my particular interest, feel free to post comments on your thoughts (especially if you've tried any of them), along with some of the other trends that you've been diggin' lately. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is intrigued by this kind of stuff. Prove me right so that I can tell my peeps that they are the exception, not the rule.
1. 70 Sex Position
Back when I was in high school, I was on what was known as the Acros team. Basically, it was a combination of cheerleading and gymnastics. I joined, hoping that it would help me overcome my fear of heights. It didn't. What it did do was make me mad limber. I thought about that when I turned and twisted my head to figure out if my 45-year-old self could get into the new sex position that half of America is apparently super hyped about right now.
In a nutshell, it's the 2.0 version of the 69 position. The twist to the 70 position is, rather than two people lying down, this time, they are vertical. The man starts out on his knees so that his partner can turn her back to him, kick her legs up and then put her legs over his shoulders. Then he slowly stands up and the woman puts her hands on the floor to help him to support her body weight (basically like she's facing him while doing a handstand).
OK, it seems like some real strong backs and maybe a wall for extra support needs to come into play here, but if you and yours want to be trendy tonight, you'll be doing what all of the limber kids are if you attempt the 70 sex position. Good luck.
2. Vegan Condoms
Although I'm personally not a vegan, I do have mad support for the folks who are. It is admirable how committed they are to the cause. If that's you, you can be vegan-vegan-for-real if you decide to ditch the condoms that you currently have and invest in some vegan condoms instead. If you never considered prophylactics to be a non-vegan ally, many of them aren't due to the casein (a protein that's made from dairy) that's in them. Aside from the fact that vegan condoms contain no animal products, another bonus is they aren't apart of the whole animal testing process.
If reading all of this has piqued your interest, some vegan fan favorites are Glyde's Organic-Flavored condoms, Sustain Natural's Ultra-Thin condoms and Trojan Supra BareSkin Non-Latex Polyurethane condoms. These are just a few that guarantee to be good to you and for the environment.
3. Shower Sex
Another sex trend that's getting lots of buzz are people who want to have sex in bodies of water. If by "body of water", they mean ocean, something that it and pools tend to carry is the kind of bacteria that can disrupt your pH balance and cause a vaginal infection (just something to think about). And, as far as jacuzzis go, it's only as safe as the person who cleaned it before you got into it.
That pretty much leaves us with shower sex. It's fun, it's safer and it's a multi-tasking kind of location because you can get clean, have sex and then get clean again—all in the same spot. Plus, the heat from the water will relax your muscles and joints so that you can be more "bendy", and the water makes the need for (extra) lubricant totally unnecessary. A win/win on every hand.
4. Nude Lingerie
Something else that has its own trends is lingerie. Right now, as far as patterns, florals are big. As far as material, lace stays classic. In the panty department, cheeky briefs are what you should look for. Bra-wise, soft cups are the way to go.
Also, something that I saw quite a bit of was nude lingerie. If you have no idea where to start looking for some, spring of last year, we actually did a feature on Nubian Skin; it carries are nice collection. Enjoy.
5. The Snail Sex Position
I'm not sure how new or inventive this is. I'm also not sure who came up with the name or why. But a sex position that men and women are saying is making them very happy right now is the snail position. It's when the woman gets on her back and pulls her knees back to her chest as her partner kneels down in front of her and penetrates. Then she puts her ankles on his shoulders and—voila! Instant G-spot attention.
For some reason, I feel like this position used to go by a different name (feel free to confirm that in the comment section). Either way, if you want to do what's popular, having snail sex will have in you in the "in" crowd.
6. Airbnbs
Personally, I am a huge bed and breakfast fan. So much in fact, that I'll sometimes come out of nowhere and bless a married couple with a free night (or weekend, if I can find a good deal) at one. But for my friends who are a little on the "sexually loud" side, I'm learning that renting out an Airbnb is probably best. It's like having an entire house—that is not your own—to yourself so that you can scream, roll around and do whatever else without worrying that someone can hear you through the walls.
By the way, if you want to check out some of the country's best Airbnbs, click here. For some of the most unique, click here. Or, if you want to support a site that specifically caters to the African diaspora, click here.
7. Waterproof Vibrators
Something else that I found to be a huge trend are vibrators. But not just any ole' kind. I guess so that they can enjoy all of that shower sex that they're currently having (whether it's with someone or alone), customers want one that is waterproof. Some popular ones include the We-Vibe Tango Lipstick Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator, the VeDO Yumi Finger Vibe and the Womanizer Liberty Clitoral Stimulator.
Food for thought. I know these type of "accessories" will tempt you to run up your water bill, but just keep in mind that a lot of dermatologists say that washing up in lukewarm water for no more than five or 10 minutes is best. Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I'm just passing the info along.
8. Brain Orgasms
Is it just me or does it seem like every time we turn around, there is a new kind of orgasm? Just a couple of months ago, our managing editor shouted out 12. However, one that wasn't on the list, that is starting to gain more momentum, is what is known as the brain orgasm.
Technically, it's tied into the ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) relaxation phenomenon. If you're not familiar with what that is, an example that comes to mind is the fact that YouTube has an entire demographic of viewers who find people scratching up their dandruff to be calming. No joke! There's a sistah who has a channel that's called Scratching My Scalp Off that consists of 35,000 subscribers; some of her videos have gotten a couple of million views.
Anyway, whether it's listening to someone whisper, tap their nails or turn pages of a book (or scratching dead skin and fungus), it is becoming more and more common for individuals to admit that sound arouses them; sometimes to the point of climaxing. Oh, and before you shrug all of this off as some crazy wypipo stuff, check out "How ASMR Became a Full-On Rap Sensation" and "8 of the Best ASMR Moments in Hip-Hop". "Wait (The Whisper Song)", anyone?
9. Sliquid Silk Hybrid Lube for Women. Slippery Stuff Lubricant for Men.
It doesn't matter what publication or website that I checked out, when it comes to all things sex, "the more lube, the better" is mentioned somewhere in the copy. Honestly, you can pull out some Aloe Vera gel, Vitamin E or coconut oil (although you should avoid oil if you're using a condom; it can break down its effectiveness) and call it a day. But if you'd prefer to purchase some, I did some digging and found two faves—one for women and one for men.
As far as our needs go, a lot of ladies rave about Sliquid Silk Hybrid Lube. It's a purified water and silicone blend, vegan-friendly, works with all condoms, complements your natural lubricant and sits at a pH balance of somewhere between 4.0-4.4 (that's a good thing). Meanwhile, a lot of fellas are feelin' Slippery Stuff Lubricant. For starters, it was developed by the medical community so that men could get, umm, tested easier. It's water-based, non-staining and long-lasting. It's also the type of lube that professes to increase sensations whenever you use it. So yeah, if you've been in the market for lubricant, these two will hold you down pretty well.
10. Bondage for Women. Sex Tapes for Men.
Just one more trend and then I'll let you go so that you can test some of these out. Something else that I read is when it comes to sex bucket lists that both men and women have, what a lot of ladies want to check off of theirs is bondage scenarios (nothing too over the top; just stuff like restraints, blindfolds or handcuffs) and—surprise, surprise—men want to record their romps. If you do decide to oblige your partner and you two decide to record your naughtiness with your phone, make sure that you download an app to hide the evidence. After all, it's one thing to follow a sex trend. It's another thing to have your sex end up trending. Be safe. Have fun. Yes, in that order—y'all.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
We've Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity
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10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
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Sheryl Lee Ralph On Why Living Separately From Her Husband Of 19 Years Works For Them
Sheryl Lee Ralph has always unapologetically been herself, and her approach to marriage is no exception to that rule.
In a recent PEOPLE cover story with Janine Rubenstein, the Abbott Elementarystar opened up about the unconventional marriage she and her husband, Vincent Hughes, have embraced since tying the knot in 2005: living separately. Vincent, a Democratic member of the Pennsylvania State Senate, resides in Philadelphia, while Sheryl's thriving career keeps her in Los Angeles as her home base.
“We also live in separate places,” Sheryl revealed to the publication. “When I go to see him, love to see him. When it’s time to leave, ‘Bye-bye. See you soon!’ I’m telling you, life is good. Perfect. I get to be the real good wife!”
Their unconventional setup allows them both to thrive in their respective careers while maintaining a strong union. “He has his own life. I have my own life,” she explained. “He has his own real career, I have my own real career. He has his light to stand in, I have my light to stand in. He’s not looking at me thinking about status or this or that. He’s doing his thing. I get to do my thing.”
Sheryl, who has two children from her previous marriage to Eric Maurice, shared that their decision to live separately stemmed from practical considerations. “You fall in love with somebody and you realize, he’s not leaving his career. He is not leaving Philadelphia. I’m not leaving Hollywood. And when you have children, you can’t just pick up your children and move across country,” she told PEOPLE.
She added, “So it just worked out that I was in California, he was in Philadelphia, and every two weeks we saw each other, and it worked out well, and it has continued to work out well. We will celebrate 20 years of marriage, thank you, and some people can’t even get through two. So, it’s all good.”
This isn’t the first time Sheryl has made it known that their marriage is nothing but solid. In 2023, xoNecole covered the actress set the record straight that she and her husband had moved in together full-time after nearly 18 years of a long-distance marriage. Speaking exclusively to E! News, Sheryl clarified, “It’s not true at all. If you’re going to write things, just try to get it close to right. We’ve been married 18 years and together 21 years.”
She further elaborated on their dynamic: “We live together on and off, in that I’m shooting Abbott Elementary in L.A. He is at the Capitol every week, so we see each other in between.”
While Sheryl's marriage continues to thrive, her career has also seen quite the "renaissance" thanks to the success of Abbott Elementary. “I’m in a show that is literally lightning in a bottle,” the Emmy winner shared with PEOPLE. “But it was not given to me. I worked towards this moment, and it took a young person to see and value the work and offer me this way forward. That doesn’t happen a lot, but it happened to me.”
Reflecting on the remarkable highs of her career journey, Sheryl recalled a moment foreshadowing what was to come from the late Cicely Tyson. “One day I was on a plane, and Cicely Tyson said, ‘Many great things are going to happen to you. Many, many, many,’” she said. “The elders have been good to me, and they would not be surprised.”
Just as Sheryl's career has flourished by her staying true to herself, her marriage has also reaped the benefits of doing what works best for them. The couple will celebrate 20 years of marriage this July. And for them, living apart reflects their ability to honor their individuality and personal ambitions while growing together.
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