Over the weekend, I, like so many of us, was crushed to learn that Teyana Taylor had decided to hang up her shoes in music, and retire from music. Naturally, my wig was blown back, as both me, and the entire culture screamed, "Nooooo, Petunia!" Even some of our faves, like Cardi B, came to her defense, with a tweet that we all felt. Publications like Vulture, wrote:
"In what is officially the most upsetting Spotify Wrapped social-media post of the year, Teyana Taylor has announced that, due in part to being unappreciated in the music industry, she is 'retiring' from her career as a motherfucking international sensation."
After the chaos, Teyana eventually went on her Instagram Live to explain her retirement decision, clarifying that it had very little to do winning Grammy Awards or other accolades, but more so the lack of appreciation felt on her part by her record label. She even went on to disclose that it was a mental health decision for herself and for being around for her kids, which we all know that mental health is huge around here at the xoNecole offices.
Reluctantly, we decided to accept her announcement, but at the same time, celebrate by compiling a list of the times that our favorite sis snatched our wigs and changed the landscape of music and more.
Here's 7 ways Teyana Taylor has changed the game in music and beyond:
Since the age of 16, Teyana has made herself visible in the industry.
Teyana stepped on the scene at the age of 15, as a young artist signed to Pharrell Williams' label, Star Trek. From this moment on, she has gone on to be one of the most recognizable faces in the industry, as she has made herself visible in music, fashion, art, and more. Beginning on MTV's Super Sweet 16, to Ne-Yo's "She Got Her Own", to partnerships with Adidas, to Kanye West's infamous "Fade" music video, and much more, Teyana has shown how multifaceted she could be, and that we really don't think on the innovative level that she has since a young age.
Her performances are un-fcking-matched.
GiphyOK, so we all know that if Tey is attached to a performance, you better tune in. She's going to give you everything you need to enjoy yourself. And because we can name more than three times that we know she has killed the stage (mine are Lil Kim Tribute, Janet Jackson Tribute, and Phillip Plein's fashion show to Future's "Mask Off"). Make no mistake, sis will eat up all you thought a performance should be, and spare no expense.
She brings her life, family, and personality into her projects.
Tey is notorious for bringing her family along with her to her shoots, or any other ventures on her plate. Her husband, Iman Shumpert, and baby girl, Junie, are never too far behind as she balances her many projects. And in her latest music video, "Wake Up Love", she was able to include her entire family and latest pregnancy to daughter, Rue Rose, along too.
Teyana has the respect and admiration from industry peers like Marvin Sapp to Elton John to Erykah Badu.
Some of Teyana's biggest fans are her industry peers, who revere her as one of the best to do it. Sis is able to get many to do what they won't do for many, whether it's Queen Badu serving as her doula and delivering her second child, or Elton John making an appearance in a music video. Taylor is one of the most respected women in music, even if there's no music attached.
Teyana's 'The Album' reached #1 on the Billboard R&B Album Charts, as well as won her awards for Best Director at 2020 BET Awards.
After its release, The Album went on to peak at number one on Billboard's R&B charts, the first in her career. Pitchfork labeled her album as "regaining control of her art across a long and complex album, one that deftly recontextualizes classic R&B and better represents the fierce persona she has honed in public." Soon after, Taylor went on to win Best Director at the 2020 BET Awards, under popular moniker, 'Spike Tey', who has also directed music videos from the KTSE album, as well as other upcoming projects yet to be released.
She unapologetically stands up for herself and other women.
After a rough start to a 2018 Later That Night tour with singer Jeremih and Danileigh, Teyana quit the later canceled tour and decided to go out on her own, rebranding it as KTSE Tour. Taylor told the ladies at The Real:
"He did little to none, any promo, so it was just like, when we got there and the concerts were sold out and different things like that—when we got there, everything was Jeremiah, his name was on everything, like, my name wasn't even on the ticket."
Most impressively, Taylor then decided to bring Danileigh along with her on the rebranded tour, with amenities and perks that she felt they each were robbed of in the previous.
Queen.
And despite it all, Teyana Taylor has managed to amass 162M Spotify streams in 2020 alone.
In her retirement announcement, Teyana posted a screenshot of her Spotify artist streams, which showed her monumental 2020 accolades to close out the year. She may not feel appreciated, but Teyana is one of the only artists in history to have the resume and relationships she has, with little to no push from her record label.
We know she is nowhere near to being done on her journey, and we can't wait to see what she does next. But in the meantime, Alexa, play "Gonna Love Me".Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Arturo Holmes / Shutterstock.com
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There is quite a bit of science to back this up too. For instance, physical touch can lower stress and boost immunity. Physical touch makes us calmer and more compassionate. Physical touch reduces pain and anxiety. Physical touch helps to cultivate emotional intimacy with other people. Physical touch creates comfort and pleasure. Bottom line, physical touch does so much for us which is why we should learn as much about it as we possibly can.
That’s not to say that all of us desire to be touched in the same fashion, though. For example, did you know that there is quite a bit of research to support the fact that men and women (overall) long to be touched in different ways?
In the effort that we all become more “fluently effective” when it comes to how we “speak” the language of physical touch to those around us (especially when it comes to our partner), let’s explore how a man wants to be touched vs. how a woman prefers to be.
Men and Women Are Different. Even When It Comes to Touch. Why, Though?
GiphyBefore I get into some things that I discovered about men and women when it comes to where they prefer to be touched and how those places differ from one another, first let’s — pardon the pun — touch on why there is even a difference in the first place. Apparently, because women’s fingers are naturally softer, they are better when it comes to touch discrimination. What is that? Touch discrimination is basically having the ability to tell the difference between different types of touch sensations. And this is probably a big part of the reason why research also says that when compassion, anger, or happiness is conveyed through touch, men and women tend to respond/react a bit differently as well.
Case in point: One study stated that when two men try to convey compassion through touch, it doesn’t really resonate well, although men can detect anger, even through the slightest touch, extraordinarily well. And happiness? Well, when two women are sharing that feeling through touch, it is clearly conveyed — meanwhile, between a man and a woman or two men? Yeah, not so much.
The thought process for these three emotions is, when it comes to compassion because women have been the prominent caregivers throughout history, they have “mastered” the ability to express it. Anger? Remember, men are good at detecting it — studies say that it’s because they tend to feel and express anger more often; I’d venture to say that being protectors and providers requires being aware of that emotion far more often as well. Happiness? Reportedly, women tend to be happier more often than men are and they also convey their emotions, openly, more than men do too.
How Men Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphyOkay, so when it comes to unique things about men and women as it relates to touch, let’s start with the fellas, out the gate. I wanna do that because, when I was doing my research on all of this, I immediately came across something that proved what I just said in the intro. What part in particular? Did you know that, even when it comes to truly platonic friendships, men still wish that their female friends would engage in physical touch more than women do (via their male friends)?
That’s because, even when it comes to intimacy among friends, physical touch displays trust and a feeling of closeness — and research says that men find that to be valuable. And so yes, this does amplify the point that physical touch and the need for it go well beyond sexual intimacy.
Still, I’m sure that it comes as absolutely no surprise that if you were to ask a group of men and women who prefer the love language of physical touch more, it’s going to be men (especially if they are over the age of 45). And while there are many theories for why this is the case, mine is that, since men are traditionally known and expected to be providers and protectors and that is hard work, I think they feel safe, reassured, seen, validated and deeply cared for through physical touch. It’s a way for them to get “off of the clock” from using touch to take care of others to being touched in a nurturing way.
Some other interesting things about men and touch is, although women seem to be more at ease with being touched overall, guys are more comfortable with being touched by strangers, especially in a flirty way (in part, because they process it as a potential for “opportunity” — read between the lines there), they prefer women touching them over being touched by men and they are known to initiate touch more if who they are touching is a woman.
And what about touch as it relates to sexual intimacy? Well, according to science, while both men and women enjoy their genital region, lips, ears, shoulders, and inner thighs to be caressed, men also respond to the back of their legs to be touched while women barely even acknowledge that part of their body (in this way). Men also consider their hands to be an erogenous zone far more than women do. It should also be noted that men are more aroused by touching their partner than being touched by them.
How Women Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphySo, what about women and touch? Well, something that is associated with women quite a bit is affective touch. If you’re not familiar with what that is, affective touch is all about having the ability to touch in a way that cultivates feeling and emotion. Not only do women tend to be better at doing it, but they also find it to be a more pleasurable experience than men do. Research says that this is because of the fact that, overall, women have had more positive experiences, as it related to touch than men.
Something else that is interesting about affective touch is women who express themselves through touch are typically considered to be more affectionate and trusting as opposed to men who touch a lot. And so, since women like to give affective touch, they are also highly responsive to it — and that could explain why women like to touch and be touched (like reaching out to touch someone’s hand) when someone is sharing their thoughts and feelings with them.
Another thing to note about women and touch is because their pain perception is a lot more sensitive than men’s, even slight adjustments in touch (pressure, temperature shifts in body parts, etc.) will affect them in a way that won’t affect men. When it comes to sexual intimacy, specifically, this could explain why even a slight shift in touch can bring a woman into or take a woman out of the mood far easier and quicker than it would a guy’s.
Something else that should go on record here is how women respond to touch based on their menstrual cycle. For instance, when a woman is ovulating, she tends to be more sensitive to touch; plus, she also finds kissing to be more of a priority. Meanwhile, the drastic shifts in hormones during menopause and postmenopause can make women less sensitive to touch.
As far as sex and sexual stimulation go, women reportedly like to be touched more than to touch. Also, when a man looks into a woman’s eyes while touching her, that increases her arousal levels significantly (men prefer women to gaze at their genitalia; not sure if anyone is shocked there — LOL). Places where they prefer to be touched include their breasts, neck, and butt; some even say that they can orgasm just from being stimulated in those spots (along with their lips and ears). As far as the type of touch that is most effective for women during copulation, oral reigns.
And what about how men feel about oral sex? Well, I once read an article that said that 27 percent of the male participants in their study would rather get some fellatio tonight than receive a raise, so…you do the math. LOL (while we’re on the topic of oral sex, a little over 50 percent of men and women find it to be more intimate than intercourse and consider refusal to engage to be a relationship deal-breaker. Agreed).
GiphyOkay, so with all of this intel on how men and women differ in the touch department, what does all of this even mean? To me, it’s a blaring reminder that even something as simple as touching has billions of layers to it — that even though touch is something that we all need, the art of it is something that must be studied and mastered; especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex and even more so when that person is our partner.
And yet, we shouldn’t take this information lightly because, when you (again) factor in all of the ways that touch is holistically beneficial…just imagine how much better intimacy would be, on all levels, if we respected how people prefer to be touched more often.
A poet by the name of John Keats once said, “Touch has a memory.” Think about that the next time you reach out to touch someone — and they reach out to touch you. Then ask yourself: what memories do you want them to have? What memories do you want to keep?
How can all of this data help to make that happen?
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Featured image by Giphy