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Taraji P. Henson Gets Candid About Aging And Mental Health: 'I Had No Idea What Was Happening To My Body'
Award-winning actress Taraji P. Henson's 2001 debut in John Singleton's box-office hit Baby Boy opened the door for the Washington D.C. native to achieve massive success on the big screen. Known for breaking ground in Hollywood, since her mainstream introduction, she has gone on to achieve enormous affluence portraying Loretha "Cookie" Lyon in the musical drama television series, Empire, and has starred in blockbuster films such as Hustle & Flow, Think Like a Man, Hidden Figures, and most recently,The Color Purple.
With being a working actress in Hollywood and constantly being in the spotlight, many wonder how one maintains the foundation of who they are, especially for heavy hitters such as Taraji P. Henson. According to Taraji, she maintains her authentic well-being by "Taking vacations, saying no, hanging out with my sister circle, going back to my roots, visiting my family, and hanging out with my grandma, who is about to turn one hundred years old."
However, with an abundance of information readily available across the internet and on social media, studies, and scholars have suggested the negative impact on one's mental and emotional health, causing many to stray away from who they truly are at the core. In this current age of instant gratification and perfectionism, Taraji advises young women to protect their peace and prioritize their well-being by not worrying "about what anyone else thinks."
She also emphasizes, "Make sure you have the information and resources you need to keep yourself prepared and empowered to live confidently, especially when it comes to aging, because, like many women, I'm experiencing changes with my body. Not all of them are fun per se, but they shouldn't have to be debilitating. The truth is, it's normal and completely natural!"
Now, in her latest quest to generate more insight behind perimenopause and maturing, the Howard University alumna has teamed up with Always Discreet to shatter stereotypes associated with "aging and changing bodies as women encounter symptoms such as bladder leaks," Taraji tells xoNecole.
Taraji P. Henson
Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for SiriusXM
"I am super passionate about mental health, and perimenopause can have a huge impact on that. Although I do not experience bladder leaks, I had no idea what was happening to my body when I reached perimenopause. One in two women over the age of 18 experience bladder leaks in their lifetime, yet no one talks about it."
So, if no one talks about these symptoms and their inevitable effects on our bodies, how do we begin to cultivate conversations around this topic to gain more knowledge and better educate ourselves? Taraji encourages women to reach out to their medical providers to help find the best available options and, most importantly, don't be shy about it because "sharing your experience with loved ones is a great first step."
As a champion for change, there's no denying the Golden Globe award winner has utilized her platform throughout the years to enlighten, empower, and educate the masses, especially regarding mental health within the Black community. Her tireless dedication and advocacy for this work stemmed from her own mental health challenges, resulting in a pivotal moment that led to her candid and upfront approach to what was taking place in her life behind closed doors.
"The tipping point that led me to speak more openly about my mental health was when I was in search of help for myself and my son. It was quite difficult looking for a therapist who looked like us, and that was alarming to me. That's a problem because Black people are carrying seven generations of trauma that we've never unpacked, and yet there are no therapists to help us unpack it who understand the struggle."
Feeling compelled to take action to promote awareness in the Black community because "most insurance policies don't cover mental health costs," she started the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation. According to the company's website, offerings include "access to localized and black-culturally relevant therapy, wellness resources, and a best-in-class network of professionals."
As a continued result of leading by example in caring for her overall health, Taraji promises to leave "behind all negativity" as we move forward in this new year. "I am leaving behind all the things that stop me from growing into the person I know God wants me to be. What I'm taking into the new year is more space for grace for myself and others as this world gets crazier and crazier every day. We all should work on having more grace for one another."
Taraji's sentiments are echoed as there is an increased interest in our community as many strive to live a more balanced, healthier, happier, and fulfilled life. We're all fighting battles that others may or may not know about, but extending grace is one of the easiest things we can do. And just think kindness doesn't cost or come with a price tag. It's priceless.
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Feature image by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Palm Springs International Film Society
- Taraji P. Henson Is Ready To Take What’s Hers: ‘I Want To Work Smarter, Not Harder’ ›
- Taraji P. Henson Sends A Powerful Message To Congress About Black Mental Health ›
- Starting Therapy This Year? Here Are 7 Mental Health Resources To Get You Started ›
- Taraji Is Providing A Healing Outlet For Us All With Her New Mental Health Show ›
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
Apryl Jones Reveals How Abandonment Issues Affected Her Relationships
Reality star and actress Apryl Jones is opening up about how childhood abandonment issues have impacted her life and romantic relationships, including with her ex, Omarion Grandberry.
The former couple, who dated for over four years, share two children: 9-year-old son Megaa Grandberry and 8-year-old daughter A'mei Grandberry. On her Wounds in the Way podcast, co-hosted with Melissa Reed, Jones shared these revelations in an episode titled "Dealing with Abandonment and Neglect."
The 37-year-old disclosed that her experience with abandonment began at age 5 when her father was incarcerated. Following his imprisonment, Jones, her mother, and three siblings were forced to move in with her paternal grandmother in Cincinnati, as they were the only relatives living in the States.
The Comeback star revealed that her abandonment issues worsened when her mother returned to Chicago with her two older siblings, leaving Jones and her sister behind. This separation occurred as Jones' mother attempted to regain financial stability and wanted the older children to finish school.
During this time, the Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood star recalled her mother visiting during holidays and the younger girls splitting time between Ohio and Chicago. Despite these arrangements, Jones felt abandoned by both parents – her father due to his imprisonment and her mother because of the limited time they spent together.
Apryl Jones On How Her Past Experience With Abandonment Affected Her Relationships
As the discussion shifted to how her past experiences affected her adult relationships, Jones revealed she had faced abandonment issues with Grandberry during her postpartum period. The mother of two explained that because they were quite young when they fell in love, Grandberry lacked the knowledge to properly support her during those tumultuous times.
“One of those happens to be with the father of my kids. I feel like that was a really trying time. We were young, you know what I mean. I feel like both of us were new in having obviously children. I was going postpartum with my daughter, and I feel like he was trying to figure out his life dynamic with his mom and his family. I was trying to sort through my feelings with postpartum…He didn't have the tools, and he didn’t know how to sort that out and provide and support for me emotionally. So I felt alone. I felt neglected. I felt like I need your support, I need help, and he just didn’t how to give that to me,” she said.
Jones explained that she extends grace to her ex, acknowledging he wasn't equipped to support someone dealing with neglect and abandonment issues. However, the Goon Squad star admitted this period was triggering, as she found herself in a familiar situation where her family life was unraveling.
“That’s not a blame… I can’t be mad at him because, at the end of the day he didn’t have the tools of how to show up for someone who was abandoned,” she stated. ”That's also another case scenario. But I definitely felt like I didn’t have anyone. I don’t have any family here. I don’t have any cousins in LA or anything like that. His family was essentially my family. He was my family. It was difficult to have the closest person in your proximity feel so far away… It was a trigger for me.”
Months after the birth of their second child, Jones revealed that the "Touch" singer requested a temporary break from their relationship. When Grandberry showed no interest in rekindling their union due to his lack of support and late nights out, Jones decided to end the relationship, realizing their romantic partnership wasn't meant to be.
Later in the conversation, Jones shared that Grandberry's decision to request a break ultimately benefited them. The pair have since learned from their mistakes and now maintain a solid co-parenting relationship for their children.
Jones also revealed that the breakup with Grandberry taught her to communicate more effectively.
Apryl Jones On Why She Still Has Abandonment Triggers
When asked about abandonment triggers, Jones admitted they still surface occasionally, mainly due to her father's passing and her unexpressed feelings toward him. However, the Angie's Cure star emphasized that she now possesses the tools to manage these issues effectively.
“I’ll think they’ll always be there, but now I have the tools to move and shift around them. But I feel like, especially with my father passing away this year, I didn’t really get an opportunity to have the finalized conversation that I wanted to. So it’s kind of still embedded. But it’s something like thank God like I’ve been able to sort through, and I feel like my dad is here, and I talk to my dad although that might seem a little crazy. There’s peace around my dad.”
Toward the end of the episode, Jones disclosed that she had made peace regarding her father's passing because, as an adult, she attempted to involve him in her children's lives. However, due to his inconsistent presence, the star established boundaries to protect her children, a decision her father respected.
“When Megaa was born, I had a conversation about, you can be a part of his life. This is your second chance to be able to, you know, be a dad, grandpa figure to them but I need consistency. The moment that I felt like he wasn’t consistent was when I was like I have to protect my kids and that was after A’mei was born. I stood by those boundaries, and I’m not ashamed or mad at myself for doing it because my protection has to be protecting my kids.
"So that’s the part I feel like thank God I did that, and thank God I wasn’t an angry person…It was like I tried…My dad knows that I loved him, and I know my dad loved me but there was a lot of damage that had been done. You’re talking about 20-something years of not having that father figure in your life and still being able to say I’m allowing you in like that was big for me. I know my dad understood. So I can live with that,” she said.
Jones' transparency regarding abandonment issues, the importance of healing, and effective communication is admirable. The star’s openness may spark engaging conversations and potentially inspire others to seek help in healing from their own traumas.
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Feature image by Unique Nicole/WireImage