Valentine’s Day is so interesting, right? While on one hand, we all hear — and perhaps even say — that it’s an overly hyped, commercialized holiday that really shouldn’t conjure up as much (potential) stress (whether you’re in a relationship or not) that it actually does. However, when we do find ourselves in the position of not having a boo — or even a possible one — on February 14th…it can cause a lot of us to feel some type of way. Oftentimes to the point where we want to pretend that the day doesn’t exist at all.
This year, please don’t do that. Even if there are no romantic plans or a Galentine’s Day party on the radar, you can still celebrate — and it can go beyond picking up a rose at your local grocery store and listening to love songs that remind you of an ex (or some bomb sex) from your past.
Below, I’ve got 15 things that you can do to make this Valentine’s Day one that’s worth remembering to the point where it just might rival some of the ones you’ve had when you were actually seeing someone (here’s hoping, anyway).
1. Download the TOBEE App
GiphyIf you’ve never heard of negative bias before, best believe you’ve witnessed it. It’s basically when people lean towards the negative side of things instead of the positive. For instance, say that someone asked you to list five things you like about your body and five things you don’t. I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if you started off with the things that you don’t prefer first — and that, my dear, is an example of negative bias.
On days like Valentine’s Day, it can be easy to be a negative bias person if you’re single yet want to be in a relationship. Something that can help you to stay focused on the upswing of having a single status is reading articles like, “10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single” and “10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word 'Single'” and downloading apps like the TOOBEE one.
If you’re unfamiliar with TOOBEE, it’s a mindfulness app filled with positive affirmations, tips to keep you calm, and ways to keep you encouraged in under a minute. Download it today and start making it a part of your morning routine moving forward. For more info on it, click here.
2. Upgrade Your Bedding and Sleepwear
Listen, even if someone won’t be joining you in your bed this year (le sigh), that doesn’t mean that your bedding shouldn’t get an upgrade. Since deep hues and all-white bedding are both big trends this year, why not treat yourself to some new bamboo sheets or a new comforter altogether in one of those styles? While you’re at it, pick up a few down feather pillows. I recently did and have absolutely no regrets (you can never have enough pillows)!
While we’re on the topic of bedding and bedtime, what’s your sleepwear been looking like lately? I recently read somewhere that silk nighties, floral print satin robes, pattern-clashing pajamas, cotton rompers, and huge, satin, button-down pajama tops are all the rage for the rest of the year — so get yourself a few to rotate throughout the week.
Nothing says, “If you build it, they — well, he — will come” quite like getting your sleepwear game together…and there’s no time like the present, chile.
3. Pick a New Lipstick Color
Does it surprise you that many sources say that lipstick started to really evolve in Egypt thanks to royals and even spiritual leaders who lived there? Although I personally don’t wear a lot of make-up, something that I am good for is some waterproof mascara and some lip color.
Over the next few days, treat yourself to a new lipstick shade. I mean, if you’re gonna be focusing on speaking more positivity into your life, your lips might as well look gorgeous as you do it. Straight up.
4. Also, Cop a New Body Scent
GiphyAt this point in the game, I’m not sure if I read and research or write more. I think it’s because I enjoy learning new things. Take Scientific American’s article, “Do scents affect people's moods or work performance?.” Read it when you get a chance. For now, the bottom line is “yes.” Scents that you like will put you in a good mood and scents that you don’t…won’t.
I also once read somewhere that if you constantly wear the same scent over and over, you’ll begin to grow numb to it and that could put you in a state of stagnation. (Wild, right?) That’s why, in the name of self-love and positivity, there really is no time like the present to invest in a new/different scent. If you want to take a quick quiz to help you find one that suits your personality, I located one here and Cosmo has one here.
5. Write Yourself a Love Letter
A deep dive that must be done far more often is the fact that a lot of people fail at relationships because they actually expect someone else to put forth more energy and effort into loving them than they are even willing to do for themselves. Not only does this make absolutely no sense but it can keep them in a pattern of settling because they have not raised the bar via their own actions.
This is a part of the reason why I’m a HUGE fan of women writing themselves love letters. It’s a great way for you to see, in literal black and white, who you are, what you are deserving of (which means qualified for), and why you should wait until those sentiments are reciprocated. For tips on how to write this kind of letter, check out “Every Woman Should Write A Love Letter To Themselves.”
6. Then Write a Letter to Your “Future Wife” Self
If you honestly have no desire to ever marry — because not every woman does — you can totally skip over this one. However, if this is one of the deepest desires of your heart, while you’re in the letter-writing mood, pull out some really nice stationery and pen a letter to your future married self. You can write it from the perspective of things that you want to tell yourself on your wedding day or your first wedding anniversary.
And just what is the point of this kind of "exercise?" In the now, it helps to give you hope. In the future, it helps you to see how far you’ve come. Both are necessary for the journey toward wifedom (ask any healthy wife who you know and she will certainly vouch for that).
7. Use Flowers for All-Natural Beauty/Pampering Purposes
GiphyRed roses symbolize love which is why they’re basically the official flower of Valentine’s Day. And you know what? Even if you don’t have a boo thang this year to receive some from, that doesn’t mean you can’t purchase some for yourself or even have some delivered to your office or home.
If that only made your eyes roll, upcycle a dozen fresh roses by turning them into rose petals for a bathtub soak; making them some homemade rosewater (rosewater is so bomb and it’s good for skin and hair); putting them into a vase, so that they can become some homemade potpourri; putting a few into a spray bottle along with some lavender oil and distilled water and turning the mixture into a fresh mist tonic; crushing some petals into a mason jar along with sweet almond oil, letting the combo sit for 14 days in the sun so that you can have some DIY rose body oil, and/or grinding some almonds and rose petals together into a paste then adding a tablespoon (or two) of manuka honey so that you’ll have a body scrub to exfoliate with.
8. Buy Some (Black-Owned) Self-Love Tees
Even though the first day of spring (this year) is March 20, there’s no time like the present to stock up on some new/more tees, right? As a self-professed T-shirt hound myself, one of my favorite brands is Tahylor Made. And since wearing graphic tees is basically like being a walking billboard, why not affirming yo damn self with messages like their “I’m that song you skipped and found out later it was fire!” one (here)? Or how about this “All Natural Sistah” shirt (here) by High Level GA or maybe this Vivrant Thing sweatshirt (here) from MokaQueenzCreations?
Basically, be intentional about getting some gear that celebrates who you are and how much you dig yourself— at the very core.
9. Plan a Trip and Start a Traveling Fund
In the very near future, we’ll talk about how wanderlust/love is a current dating trend that people can’t seem to stop talking about. Case in point — if any of you watch Kendra G’s online dating show, then you know that if there’s one thing a lot of women say, on loop, that they’re looking for in a man is someone who likes to travel.
There’s no time like the present to get some stamps on that passport of yours (because you DO have your passport…right?). Listen, a little “love” sister of mine divorced a couple of years ago and has seen more of the world than she ever would’ve married. So yeah, get those coins together! A three-week trip to Europe will (currently) run you somewhere around $5,000 which is roughly $420 a month.
Hit some of your girl (or guy) friends up and make a group trip out of it. This is the season of life when you can fully do life on your terms without pausing for other people. Relish in that very fact.
10. Memorize Matthew 7:6 (Whether You Follow the Bible or Not)
GiphyBack when I would do signings for my first book, I would include the verse Matthew 7:6. The New King James Version of it says, “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” Listen, whether you’re a Christian, a disciple (John 8:31-32), someone of another religious belief system or you’re not a believer at all, this is a verse that is still awesome when it comes to affirming your level of self-worth.
The reason why I say that is because, while I don’t believe men are dogs (or that women are female dogs), one definition of dogging something/someone out is “to retreat, flee, renege, etc.” and one definition of swine is "a coarse, gross, or brutishly sensual person” while another is “a contemptible person.” Meanwhile, a pearl is a gem that oftentimes went through a lot in order to become of great value (Matthew 13:45).
You see where I’m going with this? I don’t care if an ex pops up out of the blue or you’re horny for some random dude who’s been breadcrumbing you (giving you just enough to keep you hanging on) — if ever there was a time to hold onto a Scripture like your life depended on it, Valentine’s Day would be the day.
Do not give your precious self to someone who has reneged on their words to you or a brutishly sensual or contemptible person, no matter how lonely you feel in the moment.
PERIOD.
11. Get an Anklet (to Put on Your Right One)
One of my favorite quotes is by an international spiritual leader by the name of Thich Nhat Hanh who actually passed away in early January 2022. The quote is, “Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet.” That said, ever since I once read that anklets, in part, represent our connection to the water, sky, and earth, I’ve owned a few of them. I just make sure to wear mine on my right foot because the left means that you’re married.
Anyway, it’s a really feminine and even sexy piece of jewelry. You can even take its beauty up a notch by getting one that has the following tip attached to it.
12. Also, Treat Yourself to a Self-Love Crystal
Just about every year, I find myself copping a new crystal that represents where I am in my own life journey. If self-love is something that you want to focus on, especially so, over the next several months, there are stones that can help to pull you into that kind of energy.
- Onyx helps you to tap into your inner child;
- Rose quartz is connected to your heart chakra;
- Peridot is a meditation stone that helps to calm and relax you;
- Sugilite encourages forgiveness and self-satisfaction;
- Pink opal is full of self-love and positivity;
- Citrine increases one’s self-worth;
- Amethyst puts you on a journey toward the spiritual side of developing self-love.
And these are just a few of the many stones and crystals that do so, to tell you the truth.
A great place to find these stones (or jewelry that’s made out of them) is on Etsy’s site. I stay up on there.
13. Try Some Bergamot Essential Oil
GiphyI can’t tell you the last time that I wore perfume. Over here, I’ve been rocking with various blends of essential oils for several years now. I like them because, not only does their scent oftentimes last longer than perfume (or cologne) does, but they also come with a myriad of health benefits too.
That said, if you happen to like sweet and citrusy smells, bergamot is one that you should try. As a bonus, it symbolizes things like self-love, self-worth, healing from emotional pain, happiness, empowerment, and a sense of stability.
So, when are you gonna cop a bottle, sis?
14. Have Your Favorite Dessert Delivered
If there is one day when you should give yourself complete and total permission to forego whatever dietary boundaries you’ve got set into place, it’s when Cupid comes to town. In fact, don’t stress yourself out by standing in long grocery store lines or staring at couples in restaurants. Hop on a delivery app and have your favorite dessert delivered to your front door. In fact, articles like RetailMeNot’s “42 Restaurant Deals for Valentine’s Day” might even point you in the direction of a discount or two (don’t forget to tip the delivery person!).
15. Purchase a (New/Upgraded) Little Black Dress
One more. To be honest, it doesn’t have to be today or even in honor of Valentine’s Day. I’m just planting a seed in your ear that if there’s one thing that every woman needs, it’s a little black dress — preferably three: one for work, one for a date, and one for a formal affair. However, I’m mentioning it today because something that makes ALL women look sexy AF is this kind of outfit. So, buying it on Valentine’s Day seems beyond appropriate.
Anyway, whether you apply one or all of these 15 tips, don’t forget that being single is about being unique, exclusive, and rare — and that is always worth getting excited about.
Valentine’s Day included. #wink
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- A Single Girl's Guide To Getting Through The Holiday Season ›
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Luckily, there are some things that you can do to either speed up the healing process of a cold or make having one more bearable than usual. Things that are affordable, all-natural, and easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Are you ready to know how to nip a damn cold in the bud…before you even get one?
Here ya go.
1. Fire Cider
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Two drinks that I am gonna drink all the way down, each and every fall season, are hot chocolate and apple cider (that’s warmed up). So, when I read about something called “fire cider,” it absolutely caught my attention. If you’re not familiar with it, fire cider is a homemade drink that consists of things like apple cider vinegar, herbs and other ingredients that are specifically designed to boost your immune system.
I won’t lie to you — since some of the traditional recipes contain things like onion and garlic (sulfur has potent medicinal properties) and sometimes even hot peppers (which help to clear up congestion) — although fire cider might not be your favorite as far as your palate is concerned, the viruses (because there are reportedly somewhere around 200 of ‘em) that cause colds will lose a lot of their impact if you drink this; and that makes it worth a shot — well, swallow. Some fire cider recipes can be found here, here and here.
2. Probiotics
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” — and that alone should explain why and how a probiotic can help to prevent colds and make it easier to get over them. The reality is that a healthy gut is what helps to monitor how your immune system reacts and responds to harmful pathogens that may try and get into your system, including ones that cause the common cold.
And since probiotics feed your gut with “good bacteria,” this gives your gut the ability to be better (and quicker) at fighting off the bad. So yeah, take a probiotic — all of the time and definitely while you have a cold. It helps.
3. Peppermint (or Eucalyptus) Oil
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Although I rarely get sick (praise the Lord!), when I do catch a cold, I think what I hate the most is not being able to comfortably breathe. Well, something that is proven to help with that is peppermint essential oil. That’s because it contains properties that act as a natural decongestant as well as a fever reducer. Another essential oil that can hook you up in this department is eucalyptus oil. It’s bomb because it helps to soothe a nagging cough, it can clear up chest congestion and ultimately makes it easier to breathe.
So, before turning in at night, either mix a few drops of one (or both) of these oils with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado or jojoba, warm it up for 10 seconds in the microwave and apply it to the sides of your nose or on your best or back. Or put the oil in a diffuser. It can quickly ease cold-related symptoms while also making it so much easier for you to rest (which is something else your body needs to get over a cold; more on that in a sec).
4. Zinc Lozenges
Zinc is a mineral that helps to keep your immune system healthy and strong — and since a weakened immunity is directly connected to having more colds (2-4 a year is considered to be “normal,” by the way), it’s always a good idea to have some zinc in your body. As it relates to colds, specifically, aside from the fact that zinc can help you from catching one to begin with, there are also studies which say that sucking on zinc lozenges can help to shorten the timespan of a cold as well.
To be fair, some people have said that zinc lozenges make them feel nauseated; however, everything has its pros and cons and so, how would you know if you’re one of these folks unless you try it? Oh, and while we are on this topic, there are also zinc supplements and foods that are high in zinc (like red meat, lentils, hemp seeds, cashews and quinoa) if you want to try and get more zinc into your system that way (although lozenges are gonna be your best bet on the shortening tip; just sayin’).
5. Foods Rich in Vitamin C
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Speaking of foods that can fight a cold, out of all of what you’ve read here, probably what you are quite familiar with is the fact that vitamin C and colds are mortal enemies. In fact, one pretty significant study says that by taking one gram of vitamin C a day during a cold, you can reduce the severity of your symptoms by as much as 15 percent.
That’s because vitamin C is packed with antioxidants, it helps to reduce bodily inflammation and it helps to strengthen your immunity too. Foods that are full of vitamin C include chili and yellow peppers, kale, kiwi, papaya, broccoli, kale and citrus fruits.
6. Elderberry Tea
If you’re someone who likes to put preserves on your biscuits or toast, have you ever tried one that is made from elderberries (recipe here)? It’s actually pretty good — and good for you because elderberries are high in vitamin C, fiber and antioxidants. And that is why they are great whenever you are trying to hurry up and get over a cold because they also contain properties that are literally antiviral — and since a cold is a virus…well, there you have it.
One of the best ways to get elderberries into your system? Elderberry tea. If you add honey to it, honey can help to shorten symptoms like a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough by 1-2 days. Very cool.
7. REST
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Did you know that even one day of not getting the sleep that you need to weaken your immune system and increase bodily inflammation at the same time too? That’s because one of the benefits of a good night’s rest is it rejuvenates and recharges your system, so that your immunity can work at its optimal level.
Not only that but, according to science, if you already have a cold, getting plenty of rest can benefit you on a few different levels as well. First, your cytokines (proteins that boost your immunity) are released when you sleep.
Second, your body temperature elevates enough to kill some of the bacteria and viruses that are making you sick. Finally, sleep provides you with the energy that you need in order to get through the day while you are healing from your sickness. So, if you want to get through your cold ASAP, be intentional about getting as much rest as you possibly can.
BONUS: A Humidifier
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”. There really are all kinds of solid reasons to invest in a humidifier around this time of the year — and one of them is to make getting through the cold (and flu) season so much easier for you. Since humidifiers bring moisture into the air, that can help to loosen up congestion, soothe an irritated throat, decrease coughing, help with the healing process of respiratory infections and it can help you to sleep better — so that you can get past your cold sooner.
So, if you don’t already have a humidifier, cop one ASAP. Your future colds will absolutely hate that you did. LOL. For a list of some highly recommended humidifiers that are currently on the market, click here.
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