

Although, thankfully, I've always had pretty good health, something that I constantly have to stay on top of is my fungal sensitivity. It's the reason why I am more vulnerable to getting yeast infections. It's why I once got tinea versicolor on one of my feet. It's even how I end up with mild cases of eczema behind the back of both of my ears when either my immune system is worn out or I've been eating more sugar than I should. And you know what all of these things actually have in common at the end of the day? Candida.
While there is a lot that I could say when it comes to explaining all of what candida is, the most basic explanation I can probably offer is it's a kind of yeast that's considered to be a fungus. All of us have it. It lives both outside and inside of the body. And, when it's not off the chain, it's perfectly harmless. However, when one's immune system is low or compromised (or we've got too much sugar in our system), this fungus/bacteria can grow out of control and cause all kinds of health issues.
That's what we're gonna talk about today. Eight telling signs that candida could very well be overtaking your body and what you should do if that is indeed the case.
1. Yeast Infection
When it comes to the signs that you've got some sort of a candida overgrowth, a yeast infection is probably what tops the list. In fact, it's been reported that a whopping 3 out of 4 women will get at least one infection over the course of their lifetime. If you've never had one, first of all, lucky you. Yeast infections can be pure madness! Anyway, it's when a fungal infection takes over your genitals (and sometimes other places on your body; I've had one underneath my breasts before because yeast likes to grow in warm and damp areas) which leads to irritation, itching, burning and/or really thick discharge. Some yeast infections are mild in the sense that an over-the-counter medication can treat it. Other times, it's more complex (like if you're pregnant, you've got diabetes or you get more than four a year) and requires a prescription like Diflucan (also known as Fluconazole) to treat it.
Although yeast infections are relatively harmless, the itching can be so unbearable that you won't want to ignore it. So, if you do think that you've got one and you've never had a yeast infection before, make an appointment to see your doctor or even go to a local clinic to get it confirmed. The reason why this is an important step is because, if you self-diagnose and it's not a yeast infection, sometimes stuff like Monistat can make what you've really got a lot worse. On the other hand, if you have had a yeast infection before, you can usually treat it with an over-the-counter medication.
Just make sure that you also amp up on probiotics (so that "good bacteria" can take over the bad that has led to the infection). You might also want to eat more fresh garlic (it's a powerful antifungal food), soak in the tub with a cup of apple cider vinegar in it (it contains properties that kill yeast) and apply some organic coconut oil to the infected area; it actually fights C. albicans which is the specific kind of yeast that tends to be present in yeast infections. Oh, and since tea tree oil is a potent antifungal and anti-inflammatory essential oil, it can't hurt to add a drop or two of it to your coconut oil as well. If all goes well, you should start to feel noticeable results within 48 hours or so.
2. Sugar Cravings
Last fall, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "Ever Wonder If You've Got A Low-Key Sugar Addiction?". I've actually read many articles that say the top addiction in this country is indeed the white sweet stuff. Anyway, one of the reasons why it's a sign that you could have some candida overgrowth going on is because something that candida thrives off of is sugar (and starch). The more that you eat, the greater the yeast becomes. It's actually kind of a vicious cycle. So, if you're out here constantly drinking soda, eating bread, and having a couple of servings of dessert, not only are you putting yourself on the path to becoming diabetic, you very well could have too much candida in your body.
One way to test this out is to go without sugary foods for a couple of weeks. Drink water. Consume more protein (it can help to curb cravings). When you do desire something sweet, go for a fresh piece of fruit. Take a multivitamin (it can balance out some nutrient deficiencies that you might have). De-stress (we oftentimes run to sugar as a way to cope with our triggers). Get some rest.
Sugar detoxing isn't easy yet once your system recalibrates a bit, you may notice that it's easy to go without some of the foods that you once longed for. You'll also start to feel better because candida isn't overtaking your body.
3. Moodiness
Here's the deal about this one. 80 percent of your immune system is in your gut and when there is an overgrowth of candida in that part of your body, it can slow down the production of serotonin in your system. When that happens, oftentimes the result is irritability, mood swings and even low-grade depression. So, if you've been in a foul mood, you can't fully pinpoint why and yet there are some French fries, ice cream or a glass of wine in your hand, even as you're reading this, you might want to do the same things I mentioned when it comes to sugar cravings. Because, while you could be moody due to some sort of circumstance, it might be that candida is wreaking havoc…without you even knowing it.
4. Joint Discomfort
OK, so say that you've had a yeast infection for a while that you've ignored because the itching has been tolerable. While it is true that yeast infections, for the most part, are harmless, one thing that you do need to keep in mind is sometimes, when they are left untreated, the infection can hit your bloodstream. When this happens, it can actually result in hospitalization. Or, you could end up feeling some level of joint discomfort. As a matter of fact, there is actually something that exists called candida arthritis that can result in pain and stiffness in your joints; it can even lead to bone infections.
While this is actually more common than people might think, once yeast has hit your bloodstream, it can be really difficult to get rid of. So, if your joints have been bothering you lately and you can't attribute it to anything specific, please see your doctor. Out of all of the things on this list, joint discomfort that's related to candida overgrowth isn't something that should be self-diagnosed or DIY treated. Not even a lil' bit.
5. Sinus Infections
Allergy season is definitely upon us. Well, when it comes to sinus infections, did you know that while many of them are due to some form of bacteria, there are some that are actually fungal infections that are triggered by the overgrowth of candida? And here's the real clincher—if you do have a candida-related sinus infection, the antibiotics that are given to treat a bacterial one won't even work; it could even make the infection worse.
So, what's a sign that you have a sinus infection that could be brought on by candida? If it happens to last for four weeks or more. Whew. I'm not sure how anyone is able to endure that but if that's you, you need to see your doctor. You might want to consider a homeopath as well so that you can get on a regimen that holistically cleanses you of candida, so that you're not constantly treating the symptoms without getting to a core cure.
6. Oral Thrush
Oral thrush is kind of like having a yeast infection in your mouth (because again, you can get a yeast infection in other parts of your body; for the record, men can get yeast infections too). The main symptom of oral thrush is your tongue will typically have a white coat and/or white bumps on the tongue, inner cheeks, tonsils and/or throat. While this kind of infection is most common in babies and seniors, it can still happen to anyone, so make sure to periodically check your mouth to see if anything looks (or feels) abnormal. (By the way, a healthy tongue is pale pink and has no sores or discomfort.)
If it looks like you could have a bout of oral thrush, it's important that you see your doctor, just to be sure. If they agree, they will usually prescribe some sort of antifungal medication. If you're someone who would prefer to see if you can treat oral thrush at home, first, get some fresh toothbrushes to brush your teeth (and throw them away once the infection is gone). Do sea saltwater rinses twice a day (yeast doesn't fare well with salt). Eat some sugar-free probiotic yogurt; the coolness of the yogurt will soothe your mouth and the good bacteria will help to health the infection. If there are no cuts or sores in your mouth, drink some fresh lemon juice. Lemons contain antiseptic and antifungal properties that kill this kind of fungus. Also, create an oral mix out of clove oil. Clove oil is one of the most potent antiseptics around when it comes to treating oral thrush and anything that ultimately leads to oral decay.
7. Skin/Nail Fungus
Remember how I said that I got a yeast infection underneath my breasts before? I am currently sitting at a 36H. Yep, these girls ain't playin'. And while I do lift them up to clean up under there, I don't always lift them all the way up to look around. Well, a couple of years back, the skin started to feel so raw underneath my left one that I did and chile—there was a purple damp semi-circle and it was indeed a yeast infection. Between the sweating from the summer weather and my breasts being held hostage in my big ass bras, candida had indeed taken over. That's why it's important to keep in mind that you can get a fungal infection in any spot that might be warm or moist (even your armpits, if you're not careful). The main reason this is able to happen so easily is because again, candida lives both outside and inside of the body. This is why it's so important to keep your skin clean and dry, so that you can avoid things like ringworm, athlete's foot or nail fungal infections.
There are drug store remedies for skin and nail fungal infections. You might want to also apply the coconut and tea tree oil combo that I mentioned earlier to where your skin is irritated. Or, if it's your nails that are giving you grief, some folks would do commercials for the effectiveness of soaking nails in Listerine (thanks to the high amount of menthol, thymol and eucalyptus that's in it). If an at-home treatment doesn't clear up in about a week, see your doctor. Sometimes, by the time the infection has set in, it needs medication that you can't get without a prescription.
8. Fatigue
One way that I know when candida is trying to overtake my system is when I feel constantly drained, no matter what I do. While some medical professionals do not believe that the two things are directly linked, what most can agree on is when there is too much of this fungus in the body, it can weaken one's immunity (which would make you tired) and it can result in some nutritional deficiencies such as B vitamins and magnesium (which can also make you tired).
As we close this article out, I'm pretty sure you can guess what you need to do to deal with candida overgrowth that is causing you to feel like you're gonna pass out all day long. Build up your immune system (check out "Ready To Try 10 Quick & Easy Immune-Boosting Hacks?"). Consider taking a B-complex and magnesium supplement (or eat B foods like poultry, eggs and dark leafy greens along with foods high in magnesium such as dark chocolate, avocados and nuts). Stay away from foods that feed candida such as sugar, fermented foods, dairy, alcohol and caffeine. Eat foods that actually starve candida such as coconut oil, ginger and salmon. And put your body on a sleep schedule so that you can see if the "candida diet" is actually working.
I wouldn't be surprised in the least if you read all of this and was like, "Damn. I just might have a candida infection." That's the bad news. The good news is now you know the steps to take to do something about it. Please make sure that you do.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your February 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Self-Love & Soulful Alignment
Explore your sign’s 2025 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
February is a coming together, as a culmination of community and abundance is evident. Some significant planets go direct this month after being retrograde since this past year, and we can finally take a deep breath. We walk into the month in Aquarius season, and the focus during this time is on coming together with the people you resonate with on a soul level, opening your heart to love, and gaining perspective in the process. When the Sun is in Aquarius, everything feels more electrified and inspiring, and this is one of the best months of the year to manifest and set your intentions.On Feb. 4, Venus enters Aries, Jupiter goes direct in Gemini, and the energy and passion return. Venus in Aries is fiery, dynamic, and puts self-love first. While Venus is in Aries for the entire month, February is all about going after the things you want in love, and trusting that you will be supported here. Jupiter goes direct on the same day after being retrograde since Oct. 9, and we can see our blessings manifest more effortlessly now, especially regarding communication matters, networking, short travels, education, and the mind. Jupiter finishes its Gemini transit on Jun. 9, so over the next few months, this is a good time to expand your mind and your vision, get creative, and meet new people.
What February 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
The Full Moon of February occurs in Leo on the 12th, and this is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon brings emotions to the surface and creates self-clarity and honesty in the process. This Full Moon is a time to let go of old versions or ideas of yourself that don’t align with who you are today and to focus on what feels authentic and empowering for you right now.
On Valentine's Day, Mercury enters Pisces until Mar. 3, and the mind is on love right now.
While Mercury is in Pisces, we speak in words of poetry and spirituality, and mental connections turn into romantic ones. This is a beautiful energy to walk into on the day of love, signifying an urge to be around people who truly understand you right now.
Pisces season begins on Feb. 18, and we move into a time of closure, healing, creativity, and introspection. On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in Cancer after being retrograde here since Jan. 6, and being retrograde in general since Dec. 6. With Mars now direct, there is more energy and direction at our disposal, and less confusion on where to go from here. Mars will be direct in Cancer until Apr. 18, and there is a lot of love, support, and intuition to be felt right now. Mars in Cancer supports others while also cherishing boundaries, and this is a good time to feel more stability in matters of the home and heart.
We end the month with a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is a time of magic, dreams coming to fruition, and romance in the air.
A New Moon in Pisces reminds us that what has been lost always comes back around in a new form, and helps us see what our heart is grateful for right now. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for the future and to dream the dream. Overall, February is an inspiring and enlightening month, and your heart is the one leading the way right now.
Read for your Sun and Rising Sign below to see what February has in store for you.
ARIES
February is all about love for you, Aries. You are thriving within relationship matters as Venus is in your sign for most of this month. Venus moves into Aries on Feb. 4 and will be here until Mar. 27, however, Venus will be going retrograde in your sign on Mar. 1. So, use February to walk into some new beginnings in love, but remember to take your time with things here as well. You are overall feeling more reciprocity, support, and positive recognition now, and self-love is key this month.
On Feb. 12, we have a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this Full Moon occurs in your 5th house of romance.
This is a beautiful Full Moon for seeing love bloom and for experiencing a sense of fulfillment that brings you closer to another. Before the month ends, Mars goes direct after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with the home, family, close loved ones, and emotional stability. With Mars now direct here, new foundations can be built in your world, and you feel more supported and secure as you end the month.
TAURUS
This month is a time to reflect, accept, and move into your new beginning, Taurus. There is a lot to process this month, and with the Sun in your 10th house for most of February, a lot of your focus right now is on your goals, purpose, and life path. The Full Moon happening mid-month is an opportunity for you to see things clearer in the home, and to create space for more support and nourishment here. You are letting go of what is weighing you down or making your emotional world feel more difficult to process this month.
Mercury enters your 11th house of hope, community, friendship, and manifestation on Valentine’s Day this year, and you move into a time of inspiration. You are thinking of all the things that make you feel empowered, loved, and in tune, and it’s time to create more of this energy around yourself. We have a New Moon in this same area of your chart before the month ends on Feb. 27, and you are ready to look forward in life rather than at the past of what could have been.
Overall, this month is about listening to your heart and spending more time taking care of yourself.
GEMINI
February is a chance to take a break, Gemini. You need more time to process and prepare for what’s ahead of you, and you are taking the time to do so this month. February begins with Jupiter going direct in your sign after being retrograde here since Oct. 9. Jupiter, the planet of blessings, will be direct in your sign until Jun. 9, and won’t be here again for another decade. This is your opportunity to set intentions, focus on your dreams, and make some important achievements happen.
Extra good luck and support from the universe are with you now, and the key for you is to let things come to you naturally through patience and dedication.
On Feb. 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and some important culminations are coming through in matters of the mind. You are coming to some conclusions about something, and it’s changing your perspective overall. Before the month ends we have a New Moon in an area of your life having to do with your career, professional world, and reputation, and this is a good time to set your intentions for what goals you want to see through right now.
CANCER
February is a month of enlightenment, Cancer. You are aligned with the path you are walking on right now, and everything is starting to make a little more sense to your heart. This month we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving away from an emotionally heavy space. You are letting go of a lot of what has kept you conflicted, and there is a sense of peace that is being obtained in the process. This is your month of inspiring others through your resilience and gift of forgiveness.
Mars goes direct in your sign on Feb. 23 after being retrograde here since Jan. 6. With Mars retrograde in your sign since we began the year, there has been a lot for you to reflect on and emotionally process, and you are seeing yourself and your life with a new perspective and passion. Mars will be in Cancer until Apr. 18, and this is the time to take action on the things that you haven’t been ready to move forward with these past few months. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces, and you are leaving the month in the mood for an adventure.
This is the time to get out of your comfort zone, travel, or do something fun.
LEO
February is about protecting your energy and what you are bringing to fruition in your life, Leo. With a Full Moon in your sign mid-month, you are moving through a time of culmination, release, and inner clarity, and there is a lot to reflect on right now. You are recognizing your need to create boundaries from those who don’t serve you or your life path and are focusing on the things that feel good for you.
With the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month as well, you are gaining clarity on the relationships you want to move forward with, and where you need to create more space.
Venus is in Aries and in your 5th house of romance, self-expression, creativity, and joy for most of the month, and your heart is yearning for some excitement. When it comes to love in February, opportunities are coming to the surface for you to get out of your head and into your heart, heed the call. At the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving into a breakthrough. You end February with less weight on your shoulders and more energy to just be.
VIRGO
Trust your intuition this month, Virgo. February is a month of getting organized, gaining clarity, and feeling purposeful. With Jupiter going direct in your 10th house at the start of the month, blessings follow through regarding your career and professional world. The intentions you have been setting and going over these past few months, are coming to fruition for you now, and you are being recognized and supported for your efforts here. This is a month of feeling a level up in your life, and like you are where you want to be.
Mars goes direct on Feb. 23, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with friendship, community, and your hopes and dreams over the past month or so. With Mars now direct in Cancer, it’s easier for you to feel hopeful and to see and experience the magic in life. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your sister sign Pisces on Feb. 27, and love takes on a new beginning. This New Moon is one of the best of the year for you to set your intentions for love, and trust where your heart is being called to right now.
LIBRA
February is all about perspective and the intentions you are setting in your life through the thoughts you are thinking, Libra. The Sun is in your house of romance and Venus is in your house of partnership for most of the month, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. New developments are coming to fruition within your relationships, and you are reaping what you have sown, feeling grateful for what has come to fruition for you.
This is a beautiful month for travel, moving forward in your partnerships, and feeling more commitment and support in doing so.
With Jupiter also going direct this month, your home life and foundations see improvements and expansion. Anywhere you have been feeling limited here is being lifted for you now, and you are able to breathe and think bigger about what is possible for you and your sense of stability in life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is a chance for you to connect with the people who inspire you, and to let go of anything that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are today or how you feel about things.
SCORPIO
February is a month of feeling loved, Scorpio. Everything's coming together for you exactly how you have envisioned it, and with the Sun in your house of family, support, and foundations, you are feeling closer to your loved ones in the process. We have a Full Moon in your 10th house of career in mid-February, and culminations are coming through in your professional world, as recognition for your efforts and hard work are here for you now. This Full Moon is about taking the time to congratulate yourself for how far you have come and to feel gratitude for your progress in life.
On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in fellow water sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education over the past month or so. With Mars now direct, travel plans follow through and it’s easier for you to see the bigger picture. The New Moon of the month takes place on Feb. 27, and this is a beautiful time for you to experience joy and pleasure. You are ending the month by making your inner child happy, showing up, and connecting with the love that surrounds you now.
SAGITTARIUS
This month is a transition month for you, Sagittarius. You are moving on from what has been, and a few of you may even be moving physically or traveling during this time. This is a month of getting into new energy and letting things go where it is needed. February begins with your ruling planet Jupiter going direct after being retrograde since last fall, and you are able to experience more of the blessings in love that you have been looking for.
Love turns a new page this month, and it’s because you are no longer settling for things that don’t align with what you want for yourself or your future.
On Feb. 12, a Full Moon is happening in an area of your life that has to do with your passion, inspiration, travel ventures, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture right now. This Full Moon is about accepting the truths that have come to the surface and following through on plans that you have had for yourself. Mars goes direct in your 8th house of transformation on Feb. 23, and you end the month experiencing a personal breakthrough. A lot is changing for you in February, and you are the one leading these efforts forward because you are owning the life you deserve.
CAPRICORN
A new month is here, and you are looking forward to all of the new experiences you are about to get into, Capricorn. February is an inspiring, passionate, and eye-opening month for you and you are making a lot of progress. With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances, values, and self-confidence for most of the month, you are spending a lot of your time developing new plans and intentions for yourself, especially financially. Mid-month we have a Full Moon in your 8th house of shared resources, and the support that you need to thrive and expand financially right now is becoming clearer to you.
Towards the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your sister sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with love, partnership, and harmony over the past month or so. With Mars moving forward again, so are you in love, and your relationship dynamics feel a little more balanced and empowered for you. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces to close out the month, and this New Moon for you is all about setting your intentions regarding communication, networking, and the ideas you want to build off of right now.
AQUARIUS
Your season is here, and everything is falling into place for you now, Aquarius. This is a month of feeling a positive culmination of everything you have been working towards, and seeing the rewards for your efforts. With the Sun in your sign until the 18th, all eyes are on you and you are focused on your personal goals, investments, and self-courage. Jupiter goes direct as we begin the month, turning things around for you in love and helping you see things with a new perspective here.
Blessings and understanding within relationship matters bloom for you now, and you can finally take a break from the confusion here.
With Venus in your 11th house of friendship for most of February, this is the month for connecting with the people who you resonate with on a soul level and giving your heart more time to enjoy the company. The Full Moon happening mid-month occurs in your opposite sign, highlighting your romantic life and sense of partnership. Love comes full circle as you let go of the past here and see the gifts of the partnerships you have been building in your life.
PISCES
February is your month of abundance and opportunities, Pisces. There is a lot to tend to this month, but you have the empowerment and passion to do so. Jupiter goes direct in your 4th house as the month begins, and you are feeling stronger foundations emotionally and within the home right now. Progress is being made in the spaces that are close to the heart, and you are feeling the blessings of support and stability in your life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is about letting go of unhealthy daily routines or habits and giving yourself more space to figure out what feels right for you.
On Valentine's Day this year, Mercury enters your sign, and your mind is focused on love, understanding, and connection. The conversations you are having now are fulfilling your heart and inspiring you, and you are gaining clarity in relationship matters as well. Pisces season officially begins on Feb. 18, and it’s your time to shine, to love, and to be loved in return.
Before the month ends we have a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is one of the best times of the year for you to set your personal intentions, manifest, and reinvent yourself.
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Why We Get Dating Icks & When To Pay Attention To Them
A lot of us have been there. You're vibing with someone new, things feel promising, and then one night, you're out to dinner, and it happens. The moment that changes everything.
He calls the waiter over to ask a seemingly innocent question about his order because something isn’t quite right with his meal. Okay, fair enough. But instead of just listening to the explanation the waiter gives, he decides to prove how wrong the order is. He goes through his plate piece by piece, making the waiter watch as he dissects his food like a game of Operation. The waiter, clearly biting his tongue, picks up the plate of food and promises to bring him a new menu item that would be more to his liking. Despite the resolution, the entire exchange reeks of entitlement, and suddenly, you can’t unsee it.
It’s a canon event, I fear. And just like that, the chemistry that once had you feeling drawn to this person dissipates. You try to continue your meal like nothing happened, but it did happen. And now? Now, you’re experiencing the ick.
You see, "I got the ick" or "he gave me the ick" isn't something this generation of daters says to just say. The dating ick is very real and once it happens, it's hard to see past it. But what is the ick really telling us? Is it a sign to run? Or could it be exposing something deeper about the other person or, hell, about ourselves?
To get some clarity, I tapped Ashleigh Guice, dating expert and founder of Single Woman Chronicles, to break it all down for us. Below, she shares why dating icks happen, how to tell the difference between a silly pet peeve and a genuine red flag, and how to navigate icks when you're getting to know someone who might actually be worth the effort.
What Exactly Is a Dating Ick?
Guice defines an ick as "becoming completely turned off in the early stages of dating due to an action, characteristic, or physical attribute of a person." What might not have previously been a dealbreaker for you suddenly makes you question being in the relationship or connection. That's how turned off you are. That's an ick.
But where do these icks come from? According to Guice, they usually stem from one of three places. "First, as humans, we all have likes and dislikes—some things simply don’t appeal to us. Second, our past experiences can cause us to be immediately turned off by something that reminds us of a negative encounter. Lastly, some people are emotionally avoidant and use 'icks' as a way to avoid genuine connection with others."
Should You End Things Over an Ick?
This is where things with icks get tricky. Not all icks carry the same weight. At least, they shouldn't. Guice believes icks can be categorized as "shallow icks" and "character icks" and it's important to separate the two.
- Shallow Icks are usually about personal preference: someone's height, clothing choices, how they eat, or even the way they text. They might be annoying, but they don’t necessarily mean someone is a bad partner.
- Character Icks reveal deeper incompatibilities, like a lack of emotional awareness, disrespect toward others, or poor communication skills.
"If you're considering ending a relationship over something superficial, it might be time to reevaluate your criteria for choosing a partner," Guice explains. "But if the ick is character-based—like being rude to waitstaff or never asking about your day—it’s worth reconsidering if this is someone you want in your life long-term."
She adds, "Dating icks can signal potential red flags that should be examined internally first to determine if they're serious enough to warrant ending the relationship. If you realize that an ick is indeed a red flag, it should be addressed with the person, or, if it's still early in the dating phase, you might choose to end it."
Common Dating Icks
Guice has worked with her fair share of clients who have also experienced the ick in dating. Some of the most common ones?
Shallow Icks:
- "He's too short"
- "I hate how he talks"
- "His mannerisms are feminine"
- "I don't like how he dresses"
- "He doesn't like going to fancy restaurants"
Character Icks:
- "He only talks about himself"
- "He never asks about my day or life"
- "He doesn't take the initiative to spend time with me"
- "He is rude to strangers"
- "He talks badly about his ex"
- "He brought up sex on the first date"
- "He is too touchy-feely"
Something to note: If your ick falls into the character category, it might be a sign to pay closer attention. If it’s just about personal preference, there’s a chance you could move past it.
How to Navigate an Ick When You Like Someone
Okay, okay, let's say you like someone, but the ick is steadily creeping in. "It’s all about understanding your dealbreakers, offering grace, and practicing good communication," Guice offers as a solution to navigating the ick. She suggests a simple three-step approach before deciding to walk away:
- Ask yourself: Is this a dealbreaker? "A dealbreaker is something you can’t live with in a relationship," Guice defines. "For example, if your love language is quality time, a dealbreaker might be someone who is too busy for you." If your ick is not a dealbreaker, move to step two.
- Bring it up (if appropriate). If it's a shallow ick (like bad texting habits or being a little too glued to their phone), try talking about it. "Let them know how it made you feel and see if they’re willing to address it. If they aren’t, they may not be a good fit. If they are, proceed to step three," Guice advises.
- Give them grace if they’re trying to improve. "This means being patient, not getting upset if they slip up, and acknowledging their efforts when you see them trying."
Do Icks Happen More When Dating Outside Your Type?
According to Guice, the short answer is yes. "I believe dating icks happen the most when someone is attempting to date outside of their type because it’s uncomfortable," Guice says. "Change brings discomfort, and when you’re trying something new, your brain might create reasons to run back to what’s familiar—even if it hasn’t worked in the past."
So, if you’re dating outside your usual type and suddenly find yourself nitpicking, it’s worth pausing to ask:
Is this really an ick, or am I just uncomfortable because this is new?
At the same time, just because someone is different from what you're used to doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you. In this instance, Guice suggests following the same three-step process we described previously, assessing whether the ick is a dealbreaker, communicating about it, and offering grace, before making a final decision.
Dating icks are real, but they aren’t always dealbreakers. Some icks are just preferences, while others are warning signs that shouldn't be ignored. The key is knowing the difference.
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