Five Rules For Making A Friends With Benefits Relationship Work
When it comes to "friends with benefits", we are usually discouraged from participating in this type of relationship. I think that is because they usually tend to be one-sided. One person usually wants more while the other does not want to commit to more with that person and is satisfied with a purely sexual relationship. The person that wants more usually becomes a reluctant participant in the game in hopes that one day the other person will want more and choose them. While that situation may be the norm when it comes to friends with benefits, it is not always the case.
Sometimes two people are on the same page and truly only want one thing from each other. In those instances, it is still important to set rules and boundaries.
Also, it's important to have check-ins from time to time. Just to see if you are both still on the same page and assess if anything has changed. Maybe things are going well with the guy that you have been casually dating and you two have been talking about becoming exclusive. Or maybe you're starting to catch feelings. The one thing constant thing is change so check-in with your casual partner and keep the following guidelines in mind.
1.Be Honest
Be honest with yourself and ask yourself whether you can really handle this sort of arrangement. Is being in an FWB really what you want? If you are absolutely sure you can handle it, it's equally as important to be honest with your partner too. Be upfront and honest about what you like and/or don't like. If you're not enjoying yourself, then what's the point really? Also, if you find that one day you're just not interested in participating anymore, you should definitely let them know. Don't feel pressured to continue just because you previously agreed to it. You are always allowed to change your mind about anything.
2.Choose Wisely
I learned my lesson about dating in the workplace in my 20's so I would definitely not recommend indulging in a friends with benefits situation with a coworker. Things could go left and quickly. If you want to choose a casual partner to engage in a friends with benefits relationship, consider choosing an actual friend. Or if you want to avoid the potential for things to go awry, choose someone in your life that you don't secretly harbor feelings for or see a future with. It allows you to stay present and in the moment of not wanting anything more.
3.Set Rules and Expectations
Yes, rules. You two may decide that you will only sleep with each other or maybe you've decided that you aren't allowed to question the other about anything that does not involve the two of you, while others have a "no cuddling" or "no sleeping over" rule. The rules or expectations that you set are not one size fits all and will be determined by the individuals involved in the friends with benefits relationship but in a situation like this, it is always a good idea to set some rules and try your best to follow them. Boundaries are beautiful.
4.Stay Safe
Even if you two agreed to only sleep with each other, let's be honest, things happen in the heat of the moment and people aren't always comfortable being upfront about them. You two are not in a committed relationship so that person may not necessarily feel obligated to divulge that information to you. Your safety is literally up to you and only you. Take care of yourself and make sure that safe sex is of the utmost priority in your relationship.
5.No Catching Feelings
Whew...this one is easier said than done but if this thing is going nowhere but the bedroom, it has to be done for your own sake. Of course, feelings and matters of the heart often don't care what the mind tells them but, it's important to at least keep them in check. You signed up for a strictly friends with benefits situation so that means no asking him who that was that texted him the last time you were over at 1 in the morning and certainly no catching an attitude because you didn't like the comment that some chick left under his latest Instagram post. You're there for one thing and one thing only, so you have to operate accordingly. And that goes for the both of you. Stay in your lane.
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- 12 Ways To Boss Up And Get Over Your Situationship - xoNecole ... ›
- Pettiness, Moodiness & Other "Friendship Irritants" To Work Through ›
- 5 Signs It's Time To End Your Friends With Benefits Relationship ›
- When To End Friends With Benefits Relationship - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 9 Rules Of Casual Dating - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
The Fall Staples It Girls From Coast To Coast Are Already Wearing
When it comes to trends, It girls lead, they don’t follow. Keeping one finger on the pulse of fashion and the other on their instincts, it’s their innate ability to dress to the beat of their own heart that makes them stand out amongst everyone else around them.
These women are ahead of their time, forecasting what will eventually be adopted by the masses often years in advance. In most cases, buying into trending items is just a by-product of their love of fashion, however, it's never the key ingredient of a memorable outfit.
As we transition from summer to fall, there’s no need to spend too many coins curating a brand new seasonal wardrobe, especially in this economy. Instead of shopping targeted ads, we interviewed fashion-forward influencers to spark our imagination and gather insight on what they’re already wearing leading into the upcoming season. Keep scrolling to get the scoop on essential items these fashion-forward women are looking forward to wearing this fall.
Helecia Williams, Houston
Comfort
Helecia’s style in three words: “Structured, bold, and explorative.”
Helecia’s outfit inspiration: “I am most interested in comfort as a trend. I am truly enjoying the mix of flats with elevated outfits and the incorporation of street-style elements into the looks. I have seen so much juxtaposition that makes the outfits interesting and intriguing. I love the pairing of fitted caps with [suits] and ballet flats. That mashup is impeccable, and we saw some of that peeking through last fall, and now it's taken on a life of its own.
"As a sneaker lover and comfort sneakers, bringing back flats is just a reimagination of past trends with a fresh twist.”
What color(s) is on Helecia’s fall mood board: “Hands down, red! It's such a bold and bossy color. Now, we see it becoming much more accessible in fashion and realize how easy it is to style and incorporate into a look for that extra pop. It also pairs well with so many other shades and tones. Some of my favorite combos are red and burgundy, red and yellow, and red and brown. Even if you aren't fully convinced that it's the color of the season and still have reservations about it, you can go classic and incorporate it in an accessory or makeup like a red lip.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? “I will be returning and recycling all of my 2023 fall wardrobe and just styling it differently or giving it new life. Despite my love for trends, I've curated a wardrobe that I love so I will mix the old in with the new. And not to toot my own horn but a lot of my fashion moments are ahead of the times and still very relevant for this upcoming fall. Expect to see tons of texture, juxtaposition, unexpected color combos, and street style.”
How Helecia is accessorizing this season: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is bold jewelry, particularly in gold. I've realized that accessories can do wonders, and the Schiaparelli era has me shook. I am a ‘Stan’ of Shop Khoi, a Black-owned jewelry brand that creates some of the most amazing, high-quality fashion jewelry. It just sets off any outfit no matter how simple it may be and easily becomes a conversation piece.”
Courtney Blackwell, New York City
Courtney’s style in three words: “Vintage, oversize, and sexy.”
Courtney’s most anticipated fall fashion items: “The fashion item I am anticipating wearing is vintage leather in all colors!”
Courtney's color picks for fall: “Cherry reds, forest greens, and different shades of gray.”
The trend that has Courtney in a chokehold this season: “Skirts! I’ve never been a skirt girly, well mini skirts girly, but I think I’m going to step it up with the minis this fall.”
Shaniqua Jordan, New York City
Timeless
Shaniqua’s personal styling tip for fall: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is any oversized outerwear piece, especially oversized blazers. And as basic as it may sound, I can't get enough of them. They instantly elevate any look, and they're so versatile, whether I'm going for a polished vibe or something more casual. Plus, they are perfect for layering as the weather cools down.
"I know most people wouldn't typically opt for suede, but if you've been following my style, you know I'm all about my outerwear. I love adding texture to my looks, even if it's subtle, and a good suede jacket does that for me. The soft texture and rich hues of suede add that cherry on top for any fall look. Whether I'm rocking a bomber style in a jewel tone or a tailored trench in a neutral shade, a suede jacket is one piece I'm looking forward to wearing to elevate my fall wardrobe.”
These colors are all over Shaniqua’s fall mood board: “The colors on my fall mood board are rich earth tones like deep browns and olive greens paired with classic neutrals like camel and cream. I'd like to throw in a pop of butter yellow. I know it might seem more spring-like, but I love how it pairs with deep browns, oxblood, and even grays. It's the perfect way to brighten up those cozy, moody fall vibes. I'm also loving pops of bold jewel tones like emerald and burgundy to add a bit of luxe to the season. These shades give that cozy yet elevated feel I'm always aiming for in my fall wardrobe.”
Shaniqua describes her fall wardrobe in three words: “If I describe my fall wardrobe in three words, they would be chic, layered, and timeless. I love combining unique pieces with a classic touch, creating looks that stand out without trying too hard. It's all about finding that perfect balance between staying true to timeless fashion and adding my own signature flair.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? "I am definitely an outfit repeater, so not only will I bring back pieces from my 2023 fall wardrobe, but I also have so many oldies but goodies that I’ll be incorporating into my fall 2024 looks. I think that's what really helps convey my personal style; buying pieces I genuinely love and being able to work them into my style season after season. It's all about longevity and staying true to what I love."
Alasia Allen, Los Angeles
Provocative
Alasia describes her style in three words: “Opulent, sleek, provocative.”
The fashion item Alasia anticipates wearing the most this fall: “I’m really into gloves this season. Whether it’s biker style or long, sleek, leather gloves, they add an interesting take to a fall look.”
The fall colors catching Alasia’s eye: “I’m loving navy or a super deep purple this season so I’ll be adding those into my wardrobe. They’re both so sophisticated and a good alternative to black.”
The fall staple Alaisa plans to bring back from her 2023 wardrobe: “Every year, I wear a shearling coat. It’s timeless, it’s warm, it’s my thing. There’s something very elevating about shearlings that have drawn to me year after year, and that’s what makes them my favorite style of outwear.”
The accessory that has Alasia in a chokehold this season: “Boots. I love a good boot as my go-to accessory for the fall/winter season. My favorites are boots that have a little flair to them and an interesting shape.”
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Here's Why Taylor Russell's Red Carpet Style Is Unmatched
Taylor Russell is an actor-model-director-baddie who has quickly become a favorite of fashion enthusiasts. With her unique style and edgy attitude, Russell is making waves on both the red carpet and the streets.
Beginning her professional acting career in 2012, Taylor Russell made her debut in a minor role on the CW medical drama series Emily Owens, M.D. She further showcased her talent in the 2014 Lifetime television film The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story and the Disney XD television film Pants on Fire.
Russell's acting repertoire extends beyond these roles, as she has notably portrayed characters in critically acclaimed films such as Bones and All (2022), Waves (2019), and The Heart Still Hums (2020). Her background in dance has influenced her acting style, and she began acting professionally as a teenager after taking an acting class. With her diverse experiences and impressive performances, Taylor Russell has established herself as a versatile and talented actress and director in the entertainment industry.
Best of all, the Canadian-born actress' red carpet looks are often daring and experimental. She is not afraid to take risks, and she often wears pieces that are unexpected and unconventional.
In her street style, Taylor is more relaxed and casual, but she still manages to look effortlessly chic. She often wears oversized clothing, such as baggy jeans and hoodies, but she always adds a touch of glamour with her accessories. For example, she might pair a simple T-shirt and jeans with a designer handbag and a pair of statement earrings.
Taylor's unique style has made her a muse for fashion designers and stylists. She has been featured in numerous magazines, and she has walked the runway for some of the biggest names in fashion. It is clear that Taylor is a star on the rise, and her fashion journey is sure to be one to watch.
Let’s run back some of our favorite looks that solidify the actress as a fashion icon.
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