The Tea On Refinancing, Managing Your Mortgage & Buying Your First Home During A Pandemic
Ladies, it is homebuying season! Well...is it? Currently, housing prices are stagnant and have even increased in some cases, considering we're all sitting in the face of a potential economic shutdown in the midst of a global pandemic. And on the upswing, interest rates are near all-time lows—with potential to go even lower.
But unfortunately, employment, which has been a roller coaster since March, remains a big question mark. And according to researchers, with thousands of housing inventory being withdrawn from the market during the shutdown, prices may soar, lowering affordability.
So, should you buy a home during the COVID-19 pandemic? Should you refinance? What's the best advice for the times? To help answer a few of our biggest questions, I decided to link with a few frontline real estate agents to get the best brewed tea for the market. This is what I found out.
Karissa McRae, Serving Georgia and Maryland—Atlanta/Baltimore Areas
Courtesy of Karissa McRae
Industry Specialty: First-Time Home Buyers
Contact: info@karissamcrae.com
Instagram:@karissarealtor
Homebuying Hack:
"Your earnest money, closing date, and the due diligence period, are all pertinent in securing a deal of excellence. While there are several other factors that contribute to a successful accepted contract, these are components buyers should consider during negotiations."
I appreciate my clients greatly, which is why I ensure that I'm on top of trends, news, updates, etc. to be able to provide them with the best advising possible. The more I've become seasoned in the industry, the more I've learned that knowledge of this game. This industry has a lot of to do with managing application of knowledge when appropriate. On the surface of things, selling a house appears to be as simple as selling a product. However, I am not in the business of just selling a home. I am in the business of navigating, assisting and driving results. The more knowledge you have to drive those results, the better chances you have of closing the deal.
Ask your realtor thousands of questions, and make sure that they are providing insight as well.
During this COVID-19 crisis, there are many advantages and disadvantages of purchasing a home. For one, there are lower interest rates. Also, when sourcing income, stimulus checks can be used toward the purchase of a home. Disadvantages? Uncertainty. We're not sure how long interest rates will remain what they currently reflect and the manner in which many homes can be shown. Some homes require virtual showings only until the home is under contract. This may be a disadvantage if the buyer is eager to view the home physically within a specific period of time.
My top three pandemic real estate tips:
- If you love it, put an offer in. While you want to ensure you are completely comfortable and love the home, you also want to ensure you are getting your offer in within a timely manner.
- Ensure your offers are strong. Making sure you have a strong offer can mean the difference between the seller selecting yours vs. another buyer. A strong offer can include, but isn’t limited to, the closing date, sellers concessions, financing type, etc. You should consult with a licensed Realtor regarding which.
- Ensure you are protected with contingencies. There are contingencies that can be written in the contract to protect you due to unexpected losses during this pandemic. Consult with a licensed Realtor regarding contingencies such as an appraisal, financing and COVID-19 contingency during this time.
For my current homeowners, the question remains: should you refinance? Yes. It's a great time to refinance now due to lower interest rates. However, a common misconception is that refinancing does not cost. Refinancing can cost about 2%-6% of the loan amount. Either way, now is your time. So, go for it!
Leann Henri, Serving Michigan—Detroit, Southeastern Region
Industry Specialty: First-Time Home Buyers, Selling and Relocating, Millennial Buyers and Sellers
Contact:leann@wearedobi.com
Instagram:@leann_henri
Home Buying Hack:
"Find a down payment assistance program—there are so many available! Some of them are even grants that you don't have to pay back. If you don't have to use your own money to buy a home, why would you?"
It's no secret we're in a pretty substantial housing shortage in the US. Couple that with a global pandemic and you've got a recipe that spells complete and utter frustration for eager buyers to find homes. A major disadvantage is the competition between buyers for existing homes currently listed on the market. I submitted an offer on a home last week and the agent told me they have 22 other offers! EX-CUSE ME?!
Not to mention, some of these agents are reckless in advising buyers to waive inspections, put in outrageous appraisal guarantees, and submitting offers thousands upon thousands of dollars over asking. Many people can't compete with that, and honestly I would never advise my clients to do such a thing. The right home will come along and I always tell them, "What's for you will not pass you by." On the cloud-covered bright side (I say "cloud-covered" because these low rates are largely fueled by the pandemic), there are still fears of new coronavirus outbreaks affecting the economy, meaning rates will probably stay low for quite some time to incentivize buyers and sellers to make a move.
And that's always a good thing.
If you are looking to refinance, absolutely do so! Rates are at record lows right now. Money is so cheap, it's basically free. Why pay "them" more money to borrow their money than what you have to? Oftentimes people sign a mortgage and don't look at the details again until they're planning to sell, which is terrible! Usually a person's financial status when they first bought their home, changes over time. You could qualify for many more perks, the key is to just ask. Even if you refinance and only save an additional $150/month on your mortgage - that's $150 extra dollars a month to go towards another bill, savings, investments, or put it right back on your principal mortgage balance to pay down your loan faster and save in interest over time.
The goal is to pay them back as quickly and efficiently as possible so you can start building wealth. Of course, I always strongly suggest consulting with a qualified mortgage lender about the pros and cons of refinancing for your particular situation.
For those interested in a COVID-19's buyer market, here are my immediate tips:
- Analyze your finances. If you can't afford it, don't force it.
- Stay encouraged. It's a jungle with low inventory and high competition.
- Don't pick a random Realtor. Interview as many as you need to find one that you trust and that truly has your best interest at heart.
Since the start of the pandemic, what I've always believed about real estate has been cemented. Good morals, staying ahead of the curve, and real authentic interactions will always win. My business has grown so much during this pandemic and every time I ask a client why they chose me, the answers are always along the same lines: they felt well-informed from the very beginning, my social media or my YouTube channel made them feel like they could relate to me, and I actually ANSWERED THE PHONE! People let chasing a dollar get in the way of really truly caring for your neighbor and I believe that will separate the successes from the one-hit wonders.
Claudia Garcia, Serving Illinois—Chicagoland
Courtesy of Claudia Garcia
Industry Specialty: First-Time Home Buyers, Buyers, Sellers, and Leasing
Contact:cgarcia@propertyconsultants.com
Instagram: @claudiasellschicago
Homeowner Hack:
"Make biweekly mortgage payments to pay off your mortgage quicker. You're basically breaking down your monthly mortgage in half every two weeks, (there are 26 biweekly periods in a year) which has the equivalence of making one extra monthly mortgage payment every year."
Ladies, buying a home is definitely one of the biggest financial decisions you will ever make! COVID-19 may have put some strains on us, but what better time than now to begin preparing ourselves? A lot of individuals assume that they can't purchase a home considering the times, but they haven't taken the initiative to actually see if that's the case; there actually isn't a better time than now to purchase.
While some mortgage companies may have tightened up their requirements, interest rates have been dropping. And people whom are already homeowners that are locked in at higher rates have—and should have—been looking into refinancing that the low interest rates institutions are offering (rates have recently dropped below 3%).
Agents are noticing that many people believed that the market was going to crash, but this totally hasn't been the case at all (thus far). Yes, new home listings decreased in late March, at peak hysteria of COVID-19, but listings have started to pick up in late June, early July. Just know that we are in a buyer's market right now: there are more buyers looking to purchase homes than homes listed on the market, which in turn, has created a multiple-offer scenario for certain properties/sellers (and creates disadvantages for some buyers).
My top homebuying tips are:
- Talk to a loan officer first. People automatically think or assume they are not qualified to purchase a home, for whatever reason, but they have never actually talked to a loan officer to see what exactly it is that they need to prepare themselves for purchasing a home.
- Save every dollar that you can right now. Why else wouldn't you be saving during quarantine? Create a budget, cut costs, and spend less, so that you're prepared for closing time, as well as just establishing rainy day funds.
- Educate yourself as much as you can about the homebuying process. And then find and work with an experienced and trustworthy realtor.
Real estate is a continuous changing market, and a never-ending learning career. I've even taken advantage of this time to learn and educate myself even more in the field by enrolling in different certifications and designations so that I can provide the best experience I can for my clients.
And for all my homeowners, I hope you're researching the best options for your possible purchasing/selling journey as well. It's a great time to do so, so why not?
Marly Walters, Serving Florida—Southern Region
Courtesy of Marly Waters
Industry Specialty: First-Time Home Buyers, Buyers, Sellers, and Leasing
Contact:marlywalters@themarlygroup.com
Instagram:@marlyrealestate
Homebuying Hack:
"During the inspection period, you can ask the seller to make additional repairs, or ask for a seller credit at closing to make repairs after closing. In Florida, the high majority of offers use the approved AS IS with the right to inspect standard contract. So, even though you are purchasing the property as is, you can use the inspection as a second chance to negotiate the sales price or credits."
I had a client once that got very sick only a year after I helped him purchase his dream home. Even though I offer many listing services that other agents don't offer, typically getting the home cleaned and show-ready, meeting with multiple contractors for repair bids, and arranging storage and movers, are the responsibility of the seller. However, he did not have any local family and I knew he was not going to be physically able to handle any of these tasks so I made sure that I personally took them on. I was able to sell the home over list price and net him enough so that he still had funds to downsize and purchase a new property. For me, that's what being a realtor is all about.
As we've already mentioned, the biggest advantage in our industry during the pandemic is that interest rates are at historic lows.
So, the same home you could not afford a year ago, you might be approved to purchase today because a lower interest rate increases your monthly affordability amount. This also means that in a lot of markets, it's a hot seller's season. There's a home inventory shortage, meaning that for the smaller number of available homes, there is more competition, increasing the likelihood of you running into a multiple-offer situation, and ultimately driving up sales prices.
My three tips are these:
- Look for homes that have been on the market for 60+ days if you are looking for a deal.
- Be comfortable with going virtual (virtual property tours, electronically signing documents, etc.).
- Work with an experienced buyer's agent that will know how to negotiate well on your behalf and can save you from the pitfalls of a transaction.
I used to think that you had to have your hands in a lot of different lead generation pots in order to be successful in this business. However, as I grow in the business, I now understand that focusing on a few things, doing them very well, and putting the attention on building long-term relationships with clients is more important than building a big volume of leads.
When you are laser-focused on your strengths and your clients, the success will come.
Feature image courtesy of Leann Henri
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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It's Time To Get Out Of The 'Drama Triangles' In Your Relationships
Although the goal with all of my content is to provide at least one ah-ha or light bulb moment (no matter what the topic may be), there are times when I will learn something and then I can’t wait to share it with my clients and also those who are familiar with my byline — because everything in me knows that it will be life-altering information on some level.
Today? It’s what’s known as the Karpman’s Drama Triangle, and when I tell you that it has the ability to set you free when it comes to some of your personal and professional work dynamics? Chile, you have absolutely no idea.
The backstory is a psychoanalyst by the name of Stephen B. Karpman came up with what is known as Karpman’s Drama Triangle back in the ‘60s and then turned it into a pretty popular book, one that helps to explain the dysfunctional situations that a lot of us find ourselves in — and don’t know how to get ourselves out of.
If that alone has already piqued your interest, grab yourself a cup or glass of your favorite beverage and take a good 15-20 minutes to take this all in. Because if you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired of certain folks or patterns, this might be just what the doctor ordered.
What Is a Drama Triangle All About?
Karpman's Drama Triangle
Okay, so what is a Drama Triangle? According to Karpman’s extensive research, at some point, we all play a role in our relationships with other people, including those we have with ourselves (meaning we can have internal drama triangles). We play the Persecutor, the Victim, or the Rescuer. Okay, but before getting deeper into this, let me briefly explain what each of those roles looks like.
The Persecutor: These are the people who always think that it’s your fault. They have a tendency to blame victims for the decisions that they made and then criticize rescuers for trying to help victims out. The good thing about them is they set boundaries and uphold them. The challenging thing about them is they tend to be highly inflexible to the point where they seem like a bully and low-key controlling at times.
The Victim: This is the individual who is constantly in the “poor me” position. They are really bad at personal accountability; they always think someone is to bail them out of their problems, and they pretty much just let life happen to them as they act like they don’t have any real power over their world and its outcome. This keeps them stagnant as they let the persecutor criticize them, and the rescuer saves them as they do basically…nothing. The good thing is they are gentle in their approach to life; the problem is they are passive as hell.
The Rescuer: Although it probably is pretty self-explanatory, the rescuer is always trying to help the victim. Not only does this cause them to catch heat from the persecutor, but it also makes the victim totally reliant on them to the point where the rescuer oftentimes ignores their own needs, feels totally drained, and ends up becoming the victim’s crutch as they are seen as weak by the persecutor. One of my favorite quotes is by Aristotle: “The excess of a virtue is a vice.” It fits in quite well for the rescuer. The positive thing about a rescuer is they are compassionate; the not-so-good thing is they wouldn’t know a boundary if it ran them over.
What turns these three things into a drama triangle is the fact that Karpman says, oftentimes, we find ourselves moving in and out of these roles, usually without even noticing it. And, we tend to do them in extremes. For instance, when it comes to your overbearing mother, you may be the victim. Yet, in your romantic relationship, you may be the persecutor. On the other hand, when it comes to your boss, you are the rescuer.
The problem with all of these is when you’re in the extreme of any of these three positions, it’s going to cause, well, drama. And honestly, that makes all of the sense in the world when you stop to think about the fact that drama is life moving in extreme ways too.
And since this culture is constantly moving in extremes to the point where I’m not even sure if folks know if something is “dramatic” or not anymore, let me break down some clear signs that you’re dramatic, in drama, or addicted to drama (or dramatic people):
- Dramatic people focus on negativity
- Dramatic people overexaggerate
- Dramatic people are stuck in patterns
- Dramatic people constantly need attention (or to be the center of attention)
- Dramatic people aren’t clear and concise in their communication
- Dramatic people stay in unhealthy relationships
- Dramatic people are always in some ish
Now think about the current state of your relationships, again personally as well as professionally. Are any of them…dramatic right now? If so, what role do you play in all of that?
Are You the Problem in Your Relationships?
GiphyOkay, so say that you realize that you’ve got a problem with being stuck in a counterproductive pattern with a girlfriend because she is always in some sort of unhealthy romantic relationship. She’s the Victim, and you’re the Rescuer. How can you know for sure that you both are in those positions?
Well, aside from the definitions that I already provided for the Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer, some additional traits for the Victim are they like to act helpless about their issues, they complain a lot about things that they can actually change, and they also tend to be quite manipulative because, whatever heart string that they can pull on to get you to invest more time, effort and energy into doing the work that they should do to better themselves, they will gladly do it.
Meanwhile, as the Rescuer, you are almost on-call when it comes to your availability, you’re constantly self-sacrificing, and you tend to do it to the extent where you’re acting more like the mother to a child than a friend. Then you’ve got another friend who is sick of both of y’all’s patterns and so they are constantly berating you two about it. That person would be the Persecutor.
On the other hand, when it comes to your job, you are the Victim while a co-worker is your Persecutor. And what does that look like? Well, you’re the one who is always complaining about how you’re being treated and that you feel overworked and taken for granted, and yet all you do is vent about it.
Meanwhile, the co-worker who’s listening to you is pretty aggressive when it comes to sharing their insights to the point where it almost seems like they’re bullying you to do what they would do. Yet because you’re so passive about this particular part of your life, you keep taking their almost demanding opinions and perspectives. At the same time, there is someone else at your job who feels bad for you, and so they are constantly defending you to the Persecutor and even doing some of your work so that you will feel better; they are the Rescuer here.
Do you see how, in both of these scenarios, nothing is going to get any better so long as things stay so…extreme for all “roles” involved? Without question, the only way that either of these situations is going to change for the better is if the parties involved are willing to recognize the clear role that they play and own it.
So, if any of this triggered you on some level, do some self-introspection: what role are you? Things can’t change until you’re willing, to be honest with yourself about who you are and what you are doing. And yes, I’m speaking from personal experience.
When it comes to one of my friend’s marriages, I know that I used to be the Rescuer. Her husband was so ridiculous, and everyone knew it (that’s not just my opinion; my friend ended up divorcing him, and then all kinds of stories of what folks really thought about him came out). She was the Victim, and he was the Persecutor. After a while, it started to take a real toll on my friendship with her because while she recognized all of the ways that he was controlling and emotionally abusive, she would blame his mom for why he was the way that he was — which created another triangle where he was the Victim, she was the Rescuer, and his mom was the Persecutor.
Yep, it’s easy to have drama triangles that are attached to or interwoven with other ones. SMDH. Anyway, it wasn’t until I was willing to look at the part that I played in the crazy train that I was able to set some boundaries — ones that ultimately ended up protecting and preserving our friendship.
This brings me to my next point.
So, How Do You Break Your Current Drama Triangles?
GiphyIf you were paying close attention to the characteristics of the Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer, you probably noticed that not everything about any of them was all bad. The problem is, again, they were moving in the extreme and that’s how things ended up getting dramatic. So, when it comes to breaking free from drama triangles, what you need to focus on, more than anything, is achieving some sort of balance.
Persecutors need to be less controlling and instead set boundaries while encouraging others to do the same. If the Victim or Rescuer chooses not to, there’s no need to get angry; it’s their life. Persecutors need to achieve balance by focusing on simply honoring their own limits.
Victims need to be honest about where they are and ask for help if they need it. However, they also need to understand that it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to invest more into their life than they are willing to. Balance is about getting support, not looking for a crutch — and definitely not trying to make people feel bad for not wanting to show up for your world more than you do.
Rescuers could stand to learn more about codependency, which, at the end of the day, is having an entire identity around saving other people. To tell you the truth, while it can seem on the surface that Rescuers are good-natured people, some of them like the power of feeling like they saved someone; it’s not always as altruistic as it seems. The ones who want the credit for the help or like to try and create certain outcomes with their help? Those are the ones I’m referring to that could use some humbling.
When it comes to all three of these, after seeing who you are in a particular triangle, honing in on how to “play your position” in a healthier and productive way is how you can break free from the triangle altogether. Make sense?
This Is How to Stay Out of Drama Triangles in the Future
GiphySo, now that you’ve been introduced to drama triangles, have probably seen yourself in at least one of them, and are learning how to get out of your current triangle, you’re probably wondering how to keep yourself from getting caught up in drama triangles in the future.
Good question. For you, I offer another kind of triangle with these three tips:
1. Spot potential drama very early on. There’s someone I know who is always asking from others (almost in an entitled way) and rarely doing for anyone else. Because I change my number like the wind, she doesn’t have my current one. She recently asked someone who has it for it, and they asked me if it was okay to share it. I am so tired of being the Victim’s Persecutor when she talks about all of the fallouts that she has with her rescuers that I told them “no.” When I see her out and about, cool. Yet, always arguing with her about how much she takes advantage of people while she acts like she’s doing nothing wrong? I’ll pass. That’s too much drama for me.
2. See yourself and own it. Again, based on the kind of relationship you’re thinking about, you may be one role consistently, or you might be all three at different times. The key is to know the role that you play and then be hypervigilant about being a less extreme version of it so that you can bring more balance and less drama to the situation.
3. Do what brings balance and peace. Greek author Euripides once said, “The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.” Author Orison Swett Marden once said, “Work, love, and play are the great balance wheels of man's being.” Film producer Paul Boese once said, “We come into this world head first and go out feet first; in between, it is all a matter of balance.” Finally, writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, “So divinely is the world organized that every one of us, in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.”
What all of these emphasize is a good life is a balanced one and when you strive to avoid drama while cultivating peace, you are well on your way to a life of balance.
____
Drama triangles. Lawd. We’ve all been in one; hell, more than one. Some of us are in one at this very moment. That’s the bad news. Hopefully, the good news is, that now that you see it for what it is, you can dismantle the ones you’re in and keep yourself from being a part of them in the future.
After all, life’s too short and precious for drama triangles.
Move forward, in straight lines, by achieving balance (and peace)…instead.
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images