Here's How Wellness Warrior Ashley Marietta Made Her Home A Simple Sanctuary
In xoNecole's Dope Abodes, we tour the living spaces of millennial women, where they dwell, how they live, and the things they choose to adorn and share their spaces with.
The best things in life are simple and sometimes the most exciting part of waking up is knowing that you're at home. While jet setting the world and securing a bag may be a whole mood, you also need a peaceful landing strip to recollect and recharge. According to Atlanta native and professional wellness savage, Ashley Marietta, your home should be a place that heals you from the inside out.
The work-from-home creative and her boyfriend, Forte, who is a producer, share a two-bedroom apartment in the Lindbergh area of Atlanta that is abundant with foliage, crystals, and a whole lot of zen. While one room of the house acts as Forte's in-house studio, the rest is adorned with plant life and vintage finds found at thrift stores and estate sales.
The creative says that she inherited a love of plants from her mother, who Ashley hails as a "master gardener", and is now working to cultivate has a mini-conservatory of her own while she pursues an education in herbalism. She told xoNecole, "I'm just really in the wellness field. I'm an herbalism student. I love anything that has to do with herbs and nature, natural remedies."
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
To Ashley, her plants are not only a hub of medicinal properties, but they also hold a great deal of sentimental value. Aside from her aloe vera, majesty palm, and bamboo plants, Ashley says that there is one very special piece of greenery that will forever hold a place in her heart. She shared that when she was fired from the last 9 to 5 she ever had, she left with nothing but a shrub and a dream. She explained, "I love this plant because I got fired from this job and that's the last job I ever had. And when I left I had a piece that was [very small] and I took it with me. And I grew it from there, so that's my baby. We came up out the mud together, literally."
We got a glimpse into this herbal hottie's simple sanctuary on an exclusive tour, where Ashley gives us the details on what she looks for in a home and how to make minimalist magic on a budget:
Manifest & Chill
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
"I'm not playing about my energy, I sage once a week," she told xoNecole sternly. "I don't even know if the whole crystal vibe is real, but mentally, it makes me feel better, so I keep my crystals on deck. I have crystals everywhere, in the bathroom, on the bookshelf. At the very least, they claim that they deflect cell phone waves, allegedly."
Frugal Finds
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
"I try to treasure hunt because I'm just now starting to make stable money. So before this point, I had to really hunt for things that were nice but affordable. Even Ross for me was expensive. So I would say thrift stores and estate sales are really cool. Because it's stuff you can't find anywhere else or people are just basically trying to get rid of it."
Vanity Fit For A Queen
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
"I'm not gonna lie, this is why we even ended up here. This is what sold us on [our home] because we were like, 'Eh, it's okay, whatever.' Then we saw the bathroom, we were like, 'Okay cool.' 'Cause he and I, we used to fight to get ready in the morning to get ready. So it definitely was a selling point," Ashley laughed. "I could stay in here forever. I really take pride in it. When I get ready to go, it's my time to kind of pause and meditate and just take a breather. And then I start getting ready and just zen out instead of rushing like I used to."
Comfy Corner
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
"My boyfriend and I are both antisocial and we both like to just chill and relax. So even though we're like together in one space, it's not invasive because we're able to do our thing. We'll kind of congregate here which is is why I love this couch."
Vision Boards & Views
Photo by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
In regards to her vision board and its very bold writing of the word "no", Ashley shares a sentiment a lot of us feel about the powerful boundary-setting word. "I just felt like I need to say 'no' more and not out of like negativity, but just out of respect for myself. This is like the year of me focusing on me. I think I was like really considerate of everyone else and helping other people build their brand. So I said, this the year I want to focus on my health, my wealth, be more of an entrepreneur. Just feeling like I don't have to be tethered to people, family and doing what I gotta do for myself and knowing that my wealth will overflow into them. I know that's like complicated but that's literally what I'm thinking when I did this."
Click through the gallery below to tour her dope abode, as well as some of the intimate details that make her apartment feel like home:
Keep up with Ashley by following her on Instagram @AshleyMarietta!
Featured image by Sanniyah Sloan for xoNecole
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images