

As you’re in the process of figuring out what you want 2025 to look like, question: have you stopped to consider what your sleep habits should be? It’s kind of wild that although one in three people in this country say that they don’t get enough rest, and even though science continues to tell us that sleep rejuvenates us and even increases our longevity, out of all of the things that we will talk ourselves into not properly prioritizing, getting 6-8 hours a night of zzz’s is oftentimes on the very top of the list.
Why Sleep Should Be a Top Priority in 2025
Now that we’re just moments away from being (whoa) 25 years into 2000, it’s time to change all of that. If you want to look younger, you need to get more sleep. Ready to improve your mental state? Get more sleep. Wish to have a stronger libido? Yep — you already know (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”).
And what if the flesh is willing, but the know-how is weak? No problem. I’ve got 12 sleep practices that you can incorporate, one month at a time, that can have you leaving the upcoming year saying, “This year gave me some of the best rest that I’ve experienced in my entire life!” — which is something that your mind, body, and spirit will be eternally grateful for. Trust me.
12 Monthly Sleep Habits to Transform Your Rest
January: Get a Bedding Makeover
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Aight, so if it’s been 2-3 years since you’ve treated yourself to some new sheets, it’s time to make that move. The main reason is that we shed somewhere around 30,000 dead skin cells an hour, which equates to about 600,000 a day, and no matter how much you wash those sheets of yours, they still have a shelf life on the hygiene and quality of fabric tips.
Plus, it’s a good idea to have some sheet variety too — a set of cotton ones, year-round, flannel for the cooler months (the warmer your bed is, the less you will have to rely on your HVAC to keep you warm), linen when it’s warmer and a polyester blend if you want some super soft sheets and yet you’re on a budget.
While you’re at it, it also can’t hurt to cop yourself a new comforter. Down comforters are always going to be your best bet because their breathability factor will keep you from overheating (although they are great at keeping you warm as well). Some other benefits include being eco-friendly, soft, and super durable.
February: Do Some Deep Breathing Techniques
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If you want to immediately reduce your stress levels after having a long, hard day, get into some deep breathing. By doing so, not only will you feel less anxious and more relaxed, but deep breathing has also been proven to put you into a better mood, lower your heart rate, and help you sleep so much better. As far as which deep breathing techniques are best, the 4-7-8 one is popular.
It consists of breathing in for four counts, holding your breath for seven counts, and then releasing the air for a count of eight, then rinsing and repeating several times. Some other techniques that are pretty effective include diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing, and the Papworth method. You can read about those (and more) here.
March: Incorporate 10 Minutes of Body Stretches Each Evening
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Something that I’m pretty sure not nearly enough of us do before bedtime is stretch our bodies. Stretching is highly beneficial because it helps to loosen your muscles, relax your body, and put your system in the state where it can better rejuvenate itself. Also, if you’re someone who works out and you want to avoid muscle spasms in the middle of the night (because ain’t nothin’ like a charley horse waking you up out of nowhere), stretching before sleeping can significantly decrease your chances of that happening as well. If you’d like to devote a bit of time to stretching out your body before catching some zzz’s, click here and here for some stretch recommendations.
April: Try This: Less Technology. More Reading.
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With 57 percent of Americans admitting that they are addicted to their phones (check out “8 Solid Reasons To Put. Your Phone. Down.”) and 60 percent saying that they sleep with their phones — a month of phone detox at night can’t hurt nobody, especially if you suspect that your phone plays a role in you not sleeping as well as you should. Matter of fact, if you are feeling that way, science can back it. Between the blue light of your screen(s) jacking up your melatonin production to your screens overstimulating and distracting you, it’s no surprise that more people are getting less rest than ever, chile.
And what if you’re someone who needs to "settle" into sleeping? READ.
Research reveals that reading before bedtime helps to put your brain on a sleep schedule, relax your body, calm your mind, and, so long as it’s not content that gets your heart racing (like horror stories or thrillers), it can bring you holistic peace, too. Just make sure that you go with an old-fashioned page-turner and not an e-book. Y’all, electronic reads still produce the blue light that I was just talking about, and so, unless you’re gonna go the audiobook route, an e-book is basically…counterproductive.
May: Take a Magnesium, Calcium and Zinc Supplement
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I don’t know how many times I have recommended taking a magnesium, calcium, and zinc supplement, but consider this to be another one. Specifically, when it comes to resting better, magnesium is good for you because it helps to relax your brain, nerves, and muscles, lower bodily inflammation, reduce PMS, decrease migraine discomfort, and regulate the neurotransmitters that are associated with sleeping.
Calcium is beneficial because it helps to prevent muscle contractions, helps your brain to use tryptophan and it can even help you to sleep straight through the night. And zinc? Zinc is a solid sleep agent because it helps to decrease inflammation, can aid in better regulating your sleep patterns, and improves your sleep quality overall. I’m telling you that I can personally attest to this because, on the nights when I take the supplement, my sleep experience is quite different than when I don’t.
June: Apply Cannabis Oil to Your Pressure Points
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I doubt that it comes as any surprise that weed use is pretty popular during the month of June. And since Cannabidiol (CBD) can be used in a variety of ways, including smoking it, eating it (edibles), capsules, aerosols, and oils, I thought I would use June as the month to provide a pressure point sleep hack. The reality is that CBD is pretty beneficial if you’re someone who deals with insomnia as it directly relates to feelings of anxiety. Some studies also reveal that if you take in CBD with a lower amount of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC which is the ingredient in weed that makes you feel “high”), it can also improve the quality of sleep that you experience.
And so, since parts on your body — like right behind your ear, your ankles and feet, and your wrists — are all considered to be pressure points that can help you to fall asleep quicker whenever pressure is (gently) applied to them, why not rub some cannabis oil on them as you’re winding down? Seems like an ideal combo to me. (If you’d like to give it a shot, Healthline has a list of highly recommended CBD oils right here.)
July: Attempt Some De-Stress Journaling
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If you’re not big on journaling and yet you do want to get more quality sleep in the new year, consider doing some stress journaling. It’s all about taking out some time to jot down the things that may be stressing you out. What purpose does that serve? Well, for one thing, “seeing” what’s going on in black and white can help you to organize your thoughts while writing your feelings about what’s going on can help you to feel validated — and that can reduce your anxiety levels so that you’re able to relax and sleep better.
Also, research indicates that if you make a point to share some “silver linings” or potential solutions to the cause of your stress, that can help calm and center you, which will make getting sound sleep a more realistic goal. Even writing for 10 minutes a night can accomplish all of this, by the way.
August: Play Some Nature Sounds
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I’m the kind of person who prefers to sleep in silence — well, that is until I started to do more research into how ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response), in the form of nature sounds, can do wonders…and they ain’t neva lied. Ever since I’ve been sleeping to rain sounds, I feel so much more rejuvenated when I wake up. From what I’ve read and researched, the reason why this sleep practice is so effective is nature sounds help to soothe our nervous system and reduce our natural inclination to take the “fight-or-flight” route.
Me personally, I really like listening to rain, thunderstorms or a winter blizzard although studies also say that the sounds of birds, running water or the rustling of leaves can significantly relax you too. YouTube has a ton of videos that run for hours, without commercials. Just go to the site and put the sound(s) that you’re after in the search engine. I’d be floored if you regret giving this tip a shot.
September: Implement “The Military Method”
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It actually wasn’t until I did some research for this article that I happened upon what is known as the military sleep method. If you’ve never heard of it before (either), it’s a type of breathing technique that claims that it can cause you to fall asleep in two minutes (I know, right?). Apparently, an Olympic sprint coach by the name of Lloyd “Bud” Winter came up with it, and its initial intention was to help military pilots get some shut-eye even in loud or dangerous environments.
Anyway, the method consists of things like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and mind clearing — and hey, anything that can help you fall asleep in record time is worth at least trying out. You can learn more about how to try out the military sleep method by going here and here.
October: Sip on Honey Chamomile Lattes
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Although technically, a latte is a coffee that has milk in it, teas with milk are considered to be their own form of a latte these days, too. That said, if you’re someone who likes to sip on something before turning in, the fall season is the ideal time for a honey chamomile latte. For one thing, chamomile has been proven to relax your system, in part, thanks to the antioxidant apigenin which provides a sedative-like effect. And the combo of milk and honey?
Since both milk and honey have tryptophan properties, and those properties help trigger the production of melatonin within your body, a warm cup of honey chamomile latte is a delicious way to lull yourself to sleep. (Just make sure that if you have a hard time falling back to sleep after a bathroom run, don't consume liquids three hours before bedtime.)
November: Experiment with Yoga (Sleep) Positions
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It’s been well documented that yoga can do everything from reduce stress and back pain to make you more flexible and yes, help you to sleep so much better. That’s why you might want to consider getting into a few yoga poses before getting in bed. The butterfly pose (sitting with the soles of your feet together and your knees spread as far apart as possible) can reduce tension, while putting your legs against the wall (why lying on your back) can increase blood circulation.
Oh, and speaking of poses that can help you to sleep better, studies show that sleeping on your left side can reduce snoring, keep acid reflux from being as much of an issue, and it can keep your blood pressure around where it needs to be as well. Some additional yoga poses for sleep can be found here.
December: Massage Yourself
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Professional massages are bomb (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You”), there’s no doubt about that. However, if your budget is tight or you simply don’t have the time to book an appointment, that doesn’t mean that your body can’t reap the rewards — all you need to do is incorporate some self-massaging.
Yep, even rubbing on yourself will help ease stress and anxiety, bring relief to headaches, reduce muscle strain and tension, and increase blood circulation throughout your system. Tips for how to use a tennis ball to give yourself a massage can be found here. Tips for how to massage yourself with a foam roller can be found here. Tips for how to give yourself a facial massage can be found here.
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Just like your body needs food, water, and air, it needs to rest. It can only serve you well to apply habits that will help you not just to sleep, but to sleep soundly and completely. Here’s to a year of all of that, sis. Indeed.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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