Mother/Hustler Jessica Chinyelu Has Advice For Entrepreneurs Struggling With Mom Guilt
The year was 2018, and lifestyle blogger, Jessica Chinyelu had no intention of leaving her full-time corporate job for another two years, but we all know how the saying goes: we plan and God laughs. Although her husband's mom stepped in to offer help as Jessica transitioned back into her regularly scheduled work life, her in-law's stay was coming to an end and it was time to make some tough decisions.
Jessica could either sacrifice precious time with her newborn to make someone else richer, or she could step out on faith and build generational wealth. Spoiler Alert: she chose the latter. To Jessica and her husband, this decision proved to be an easy one, even after trying and failing the same plan almost ten years earlier. Jessica told xoNecole, "I actually did not want to leave my job until 2020. I left my job back in 2009 and to be honest, I shouldn't have left. I ended up going back to corporate America. I had no idea what I was doing, I wasn't good with money and I had no business trying to start my own which is why I failed. But I thank God for the lessons because it prepared me for where I am today."
With the support of her husband and a prayer, she traded in the stability and security of a 9 to 5 to become a full-time entrepreneur for the second time. Jessica shared, "My husband encouraged me to leave my job in 2018 after giving birth and he believed in me. He believed I was ready this time around to go full-force, even as a new mom."
Now, Jessica makes a living as a lifestyle blogger, content creator, and booking agent, and couldn't see her life any other way. To date, Jessica has received more than $100,000 in paid sponsorships, hosted a number of sold-out conferences and workshops, and is the founder of Woman of Purpose, a non-profit that helps other women also live out their passions according to the gifts they've been given by God.
We sat down with Jessica to talk about securing the bag and your sanity, all while juggling the pressures of motherhood at the same damn time. Here's what she had to say:
How do you handle moments when you feel overwhelmed?
There are so many days when I feel overwhelmed. I'm a stay-at-home mom without a nanny and I'm running multiple fruitful businesses.
The struggle is real. I've found that slowing down keeps me sane and find my inner peace.
First, I pause and then take a deep breath. Afterward, I begin to tell myself, "Girl, It's Okay!" Whatever tasks need to get done can wait because my peace is better. I give myself time to process why I'm feeling overwhelmed. Most times, I feel overwhelmed because I've overextended myself or I didn't give myself a realistic timeframe to complete a task.
If I have to cancel a meeting, I do it. If I have to inform someone I need a tad bit longer to hand in a deliverable, I choose to be honest regardless of what the other person may think because my peace of mind is what helps me function from a healthy and stable place.
What’s the hardest part of your day?
The toughest part of my day is when I need to jump on a conference/Skype call but my precious baby boy wants all of my attention. Somehow, I always find a way to make it through those calls, even though it's hard. Hubby and I agreed we would send our baby to Montessori at 18 months. Until then, I make it work at home. It takes loads of patience, but it's so worth it.
When I have moments where I want to lash out (because every mama has those moments), I think about how blessed we are as a family where I can stay home and raise my kiddos instead of someone else shaping my child's character and personality. Think about it, some babies spend 8-10 hours per day at a daycare which means the majority of their time is spent with other people outside of the home.
Courtesy of Jessica Chinyelu.
How (and how often) do you practice self-care?
Self-care is a TOP priority for me. Before we had a child, I made sure my husband understood I need my getaway time! I go for a facial every eight weeks. I get a manicure and pedicure every four weeks. I ensure I go to my little Asian reflexology spot (they be hooking sistah up) once a month. I also use my girls' nights as a form of self-care.
I remember when I would place everyone else's needs before my own. It was not a pretty sight. I was moody all the time, I didn't feel good about myself, and I didn't look like Jessica anymore. I knew something had to change. I take at least 3-4 hours away from my family two days a week so I can focus on ME. It's needed! Your self-care is vital for your mental stability.
When do you feel most productive?
I feel most productive when I'm on a Starbucks patio with my headphones over my head sipping on a very berry hibiscus drink and knocking out my to-do list. If I get at least three tasks completed, I feel pretty darn great about it. I used to try and accomplish ten things, but I overwhelmed myself that way. Now I focus on what's TOP priority, get it done and reward myself.
What is your advice for dealing with mom guilt?
[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BrlCpPhnv4-/\ expand=1]Man, I wish someone would've taught me how to deal with this when I first had my baby. Have a team of #Mamabaes who you can vent to when your completely over being a mom. Husbands don't understand what we as women go through at times. A #Mamabae is your experienced friend who has 2 or more children and will not judge you for feeling like you want to slap your husband or leave your baby for a few days just to get away. She's never in competition with you (new moms have a tendency to be in competition with one another), and she's always encouraging you to be kind to yourself and treat yourself at all times. She will remind you that it's okay to leave baby with dad or grandparents or close friends while you go out and DO YOU. You need this!
Secondly, don't compare yourself to other moms. Instagram will have you thinking you're the worst mom and you end up not enjoying motherhood because every experience is being compared to another mama's journey. The beautiful thing about motherhood is each mama's experience is so unique. Cherish the process instead of beating yourself up about it.
Lastly, ask for help and don't feel bad about it. No one is asking you to be a super mommy and if they are, put them in their place. I know I do. Asking for help takes courage and when you ask for help, you can get more done for your family and most importantly for yourself.
"No one is asking you to be a super mommy and if they are, put them in their place. I know I do. Asking for help takes courage and when you ask for help, you can get more done for your family and most importantly for yourself."
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned as an entrepreneur?
Money isn't everything. Chase peace and money will flow to you. I've become a professional at saying no to things because I realize if I'm losing peace over it, it's not worth it. One of my daily declarations is "God money (not good money) comes to me on a free course by the speed of the spirit." Money should not control you. You control money.
What is the most important lesson you want your kid(s) to learn from you?
This is such a great question. There are many lessons I want my kids to learn from me. I may get a little deep here because if you really think about it, it's a pretty deep question. I want my kids to know the truth about who they are, their true identities, and be so content with themselves and their true gifts that they never stray away from it. I want them to know they can achieve anything and to walk and talk like Kings and Queens because that's who they are. I want them to understand what living a true life looks like when you really allow your gifts to make room for you.
These days children are being influenced by anything and everything and it's important for us to teach our children how not to be easily swayed. I see young kids not confident in themselves, their abilities or their true gifts because their parents never took time to nurture those gifts.
I'm half American, half Nigerian. The Nigerian side of my family felt like everyone should be a nurse, a doctor, an engineer, or a lawyer. I do not want my children to grow up with this type of mindset. I want them to learn how to be true to themselves and transform their true gifts into a gift that is as fruitful or even more fruitful than the profession of a nurse, a doctor, an engineer or lawyer.
Courtesy of Jessica Chinyelu
What advice do you have when it comes to time management as a mogul mommy?
Time is extremely valuable because you cannot get it back. My best advice would be to become a super planner. I have multiple calendars to keep me on track. Create a family calendar that everyone can see. I placed a dry erase calendar on our fridge so hubby can see what I have going on for the month and he plans his activities around my schedule.
Also, communicate like crazy. Hubby and I have to discuss our schedules daily to ensure we're on the same page and a caregiver is booked when needed. And be sure to carve out your ME time and ensure it's on the calendar. You need that ME time.
How has being a mother helped you become a better entrepreneur (or vice versa)?
Becoming a mom has helped me go even harder. I feel like I do more as a mom than I did whenever I wasn't a mom. Motherhood brought a different side out of me in the greatest way possible and I'm embracing it to the fullest. My greatest ideas to date came after giving birth.
"Motherhood brought a different side out of me in the greatest way possible and I'm embracing it to the fullest. My greatest ideas to date came after giving birth."
What tips do you have for financial planning, both professionally and for your family?
I'll start with professionally. When it comes to your business seek advice from a financial advisor and hire a CPA. You need to know EVERYTHING about your business and where the money is going, how much is coming in, and what's not working for your business. Make sure your business is a legal entity and protect your personal assets. Get an attorney on your side. You never know what will happen in the future.
If you didn't grow up in a family where you had healthy conversations about money, be honest with yourself about it and seek help when it comes to your family. Money is such a touchy subject, especially in the black community. I wasn't good with money before I met my husband. It was a challenge in the beginning of our marriage because I never wanted to discuss money. We made a decision to have seperate accounts, a joint account, a joint savings and investments together. Although we have seperate accounts, we made a decision to be transparent about those accounts. This was hard because I was not used to answering to someone about MY money. When you get married, MY now becomes OURS. I had to change my mindset about money and get comfortable with planning OUR future together for OUR family.
Keep up with Jessica on social media @jessicachinyelu and keep up with her mogul mommy musings on her blog, jessicachinyelu.com.
Featured image by Instagram/@JessicaChinyelu.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Ananda Lewis Clarifies Why She Didn't Get A Mastectomy & Says She's Doing 'Better' After Stage IV Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Former MTV VJ Ananda Lewis received a lot of backlash from online critics after sharing she decided to forgo a double mastectomy. But there's more to the story.
Ananda was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer in 2019, and during a recent round table discussion with CNN's Stephanie Elam and Sara Sidner, she revealed that she decided not to get a double mastectomy and, now, she has stage IV cancer.
Following that interview, she clarified why she did not get the surgery. “The circumstances were not conducive to surgery because my tumor wasn’t aggressively growing at the time, and then COVID hit,” Ananda told The Epoch Times.
She opted for a cryoablation treatment instead, which uses extreme cold to destroy the cancer cells.
Another thing the 51-year-old wanted to clarify was whether she was dying. She said she is not. “Nothing happened. Today, I am fantastic. I may have felt like I was dying in February, but I’m not dying, and I’m definitely doing better than I was last October,” she said.
She is focused on taking care of herself and getting a "good 20 more years out of this body." She follows a keto diet and avoids alcohol, white flour and white sugar.
During the CNN roundtable discussion, the mother of one shared that she had an integrative approach to her treatment, which included traditional medicine and homeopathy methods such as red light therapy.
“My plan at first was to get out excessive toxins in my body. I felt like my body is intelligent, I know that to be true. Our bodies are brilliantly made,” she said.
“I decided to keep my tumor and try to work it out of my body a different way,” she continued. “Looking back on that, I go, ‘You know what? Maybe I should have.’
Ananda also admitted that she wasn't prioritizing early detection, such as getting mammograms. The former talk show host's mom also had breast cancer and chose to go the conventional route, which influenced her to go a non-traditional route.
As a content creator, Ananda uses her social media to inform others on the things she's learned about obtaining good health such as toxic items to through out of your pantry and the many benefits of water.
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