With the rise of more and more black women breaking away from traditional 9-5s to become their own bosses, the CEO is getting a revamp as the SHEeo. CEOs are forging their own paths, blazing their own trails, and turning their passion into a profit. Curious to know how she does it? In the Meet The SHEeo series, we talk to melanated mavens leveling up and glowing up, all while redefining what it means to be a boss.
D'Cher Whitaker has always been known for her unique statement pieces that are both inspiring and empowering, so when the opportunity arose, she launched Love Peridot—a collection of accessories and gifts curated with the ambitious woman in mind. Inspired by her grandmother's distinctive style, Love Peridot pairs unique designs with accessories that caters to the working woman. After three years of selling her goods online, the Chicago native expanded her business to include her first brick and mortar store in 2019.
In this week's feature, meet D'Cher Whitaker of Love Peridot.
The Stats
Title: CEO of Love Peridot
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Year Founded: 2016
# of Employee(s): 1
30-Second Pitch: Love Peridot is a collection of accessories and gifts curated with the ambitious woman in mind. We add every product with the intent to motivate, inspire and propel our customer's hustle.
The Details
What inspired you to start your brand?
My love for accessories was inspired by my grandmother. I am always asked where I got this piece and that piece and desired to open a shop with similar, distinctive statement accessories.
What was your a-ha moment that brought your idea into reality?
The a-ha moment was when "life is short" hit my home, literally. The loss of my mother-in-law and aunt within the same year really pushed me to make my daydream a reality.
Who is your ideal customer?
My ideal customer is a career woman, side hustler and entrepreneur. She wears many hats and sometimes needs a push to get her back on track. She loves to stand out but knows when to act up. She's a goal-getter. She's a BOSS.
What makes your business different?
We are different in that we are a gift shop that puts women first. Our customer is the ambitious woman and our mission is to empower, motivate and inspire her. A customer once said, "You have the most unique things. It's more than that though. I feel empowered." That's what makes us different!
What obstacles did you have to overcome while launching and growing your brand? How were you able to overcome them?
There were quite a few obstacles while launching and growing Love Peridot; the loss of loved ones, completing my MBA degree, working full-time and more. Of course, my circle is always there with an ear, a shoulder or help with whatever but more than anything, my faith helps me overcome it all. I believe what's for me is for me and I know where my help and strength come from.
What was the defining moment in your entrepreneurial journey?
The decision to enter our own brick and mortar was the defining moment in my journey. I was feeling really "meh" and struggling with online sales not knowing if I would even continue in 2019. At the very end of 2018, God said, "Faint not!" And an opportunity to have a physical space in one of the most popping areas of my city opened up for me. Since opening, I've been able to collaborate and build amazing community around us.
Where do you see your company in 5-10 years?
In 5-10 years, Love Peridot will be your black Anthropologie or Bando with a few more locations in your favorite cities. I want to be a gift and accessory hub for the ambitious woman where she can get ALL THE THINGS for herself and girlfriends; especially the motivation that she needs to keep going and make it happen.
Where have you seen the biggest return on investment?
Our biggest return on investment at this point is from our physical location. We do get conversions from Instagram as well.
Do you have a mentor? If so, who?
I do not have an actual mentor. However, so many women inspire me to be my best daily. Charis Jones (Sassy Jones), Melissa Butler (The Lip Bar), and Morgan DeBaun (Blavity) have all shown me that I can make my dream happen MY WAY. Sarah Jakes Roberts shows me that I can believe in God and still evolve.
Biggest lesson you’ve learned in business?
The biggest lesson I've learned thus far is to always believe in myself and bet on myself. I'm learning that I am not an impostor! I'm making ish happen and it is 100% okay to tell the world all about it. I went from being shy about my accomplishments to owning and celebrating them. A bonus lesson is there is no need to compare; my way is perfect.
Anything else you would like for people to know, or take away from
Girl, do you!
NEVER settle. You deserve God's best.
It's okay to feel fear for the moment but don't let it take over your story.
Everything will fall into place as it should.
Keep going.
For more Love Peridot, follow them on social media @shoploveperidot.
RELATED
One day, I might really get into just how actually evil that is (because sex is never supposed to be a bribe in a relationship). For now, though, I want to talk about how motives reveal oh so very much when it comes to physical (and even emotional) intimacy. Hmph. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes on the topic of motives: “People’s behavior makes sense when you think about it in terms of goals, needs, and motives.” An author by the name of Thomas Mann said that, and indeed it does because, when you are doing something merely to get your way, that is a form of manipulation or control.
On the other hand, when you’re doing it merely for the holistic pleasure of doing so — that is when you are experiencing intimacy in the way that it was intended to be.
So, when it comes to your personal motive for sex, what is it really all about?
What Are You Really Hoping to Get Out of Sex?
When It Comes to Your ‘What’, You Always Need to Know Your WHY
GiphyOh, I’ve got some more motives quotes for you. Psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.” Author Paul David Trip once said, “We rarely do anything with one single motive.” It’s pretty ironic that actor Chris Noth (because if you know, you know) once said, “Since women ask me about male motives all the time, I can offer a bit of advice. If you feel like you're going to get hurt, then you shouldn't be there in the first place. That's the way I look at relationships.”
Now, before I attempt to build on these quotes, let’s first look at a very basic definition of motive:
Motive: a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious
Did you catch that? Oftentimes, when someone is moving based on a motive, the reason is hidden. Is it just me or does that sound semi-sneaky or opportunistic, right off the bat? Interestingly enough, some synonyms for motive include grounds, basis and root. All of those words make me think of the foundation of something. So, since we are talking about sex, specifically, today — before you decide to sleep with someone, you really should ask yourself what your foundational reason is and, if you’re choosing not to share it with said-partner…why is that?
Pick Your Top 3 Motives, Then Reflect
Let’s keep going. Some other synonyms for motive include aim; emotion; idea; impulse; intent; motivation; passion; rationale; occasion; incentive; consideration, and inspiration. Aight, so here’s another thing to ponder — out of these 12 words, select your top three that “connect the dots” as it relates to your motive (or motives). It could be that you feel passion for him, your intent is to show him that and, since you’ve been dating for a hot minute, you think that it’s the right occasion. In this case, what’s shady or opportunistic about that?
If that is indeed your motive, it would fall less into the “hidden” category and more in the “not obvious” once you really thought it through. On the other hand, if it’s more like you aim to have sex, because your rationale is to get some sort of incentive out of it — do you see how that’s totally different? And if indeed that is the case, WHY do you think that is okay?
Sex Is Not A Transaction — It’s An Exchange
I’m telling you, if there is one thing that I damn near loathe is how transactional sex sounds these days: “Unless you’re going to pay my bills, I’m not going to give you any.” What in the world? Listen, I don’t care how unpopular the opinion may be, sometimes — hell, oftentimes — the truth isn’t popular and the truth about copulation is IT IS AN EVEN EXCHANGE. No one should be paying you for it. He got pleasure, you got pleasure. Over and out. And if that isn’t happening, either there is more communication that needs to be going on (which is just one of the reasons why I’m not a fan of faking orgasms) or there is something “off” when it comes to you and your partner.
Whatever the case may be, before engaging in physical intimacy with someone, it’s beyond wise to spend some time getting really honest with yourself about what your motives truly are — because how we start something oftentimes sets the tone for the experience overall. Indeed, motives are a lot like cause and effect — they play a significantly profound role in determining the outcome of matters.
Real Compatibility Includes Mutual Motives
Sexual Compatibility Includes Having Mutual Motives
GiphyOkay, so now that we’ve discussed motives, in general — say that your motives are pure (and you are being really honest with yourself about that). You’re not hiding anything because there is nothing to hide. You simply feel so connected to someone that you are motivated and inspired to take things to another level.
Well, that’s where author Lebo Grand and something that he once said comes in: “Sensuality is the purest motive that exists on earth.” When something is sensual, it gratifies the senses. When something is sensual, it arouses the appetite — and yes, when you want to be intimate with someone, simply because you want to get closer to them, there is something that is very sweet, very sincere and even pure — in the sense of being authentic and real — about that.
If that is your motive, share that with your partner. If that is also his motive, then it’s time to get into what the mutual motives of what a healthy sexual relationship should be: pleasure, joy and satisfaction. Y’all, something else that messes many couples up is there is so much focus on what they want to get out of sex that they fail to fully tune in and tap into their partner — and that is unfortunate. You know why? Because it has been both my experience as well as my observation that when both people are totally invested in making sure that their partner is sexually satisfied both individuals end up feeling gratified and quenched. Yeah, a selfish motive rarely brings contentment like a selfless one does — and you can take that to the bank!
And that is why, although I think that sexual compatibility is important, you’d be amazed how much clear communication, patience and selflessness can “get you there” if sex seems awkward at first. Again, if the motives are right, goodness can come from it, even if it takes a bit of time and effort to get there.
When Your Sexual Motives Shift, Say Something
If Your Motives Shift, You Need to Speak Up
GiphyFinal point. It is the Greek philosopher Heraclitus who once said, “Change is the only constant in life” and this applies to every aspect of it — including sex. That said, some of you may recall back when I wrote an article entitled, “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go.” The wife who I featured in that piece, we were recently talking about it and how she remains 10 toes down about the fact that a “big one” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be if the man who owns it is attached to a huge ego and not much else.
When I asked her to reflect on how much of her dissatisfaction was — and kinda still is — about him vs. who she now is as a person, she admitted that so much of who she is has changed from when they first got together. She’s older and so her hormones have shifted. She has spiritually evolved and so a profound emotional connection is more desired. She knows herself better and so she has some sexual needs that she never had before. And so, her motives have shifted from pretty much just having a good time (only) to longing for something…deeper.
This isn’t abnormal; many people go through this. Thing is, instead of being forthcoming with their partner, they would rather have them pick up on hints or, even worse, attempt to read their mind. Yeah, that’s not how effective communication works, y’all — if your motives for sex have changed, you’ve got to say something. Otherwise, you’re going to end up frustrated or unfulfilled…and honestly, your partner probably will too because if you are different and you don’t share it, eventually there will be a “disconnect” (and not just in the bedroom).
____
As I bring this to a close, take a moment to circle back to the first motive quote that I shared in the intro (“People’s behavior makes sense when you think about it in terms of goals, needs and motives.”). Whatever your sex life is like right now, what are your goals, needs and motives? What are his?
Figure that out and you’ll better understand where you’re at and, if you don’t like it, how to get to where you want to be.
It all begins with the right motives, sis. It really and truly does.
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Featured image by Giphy