The beauty of life is that anything can happen at any moment, and you can count on the journey to help you gain perspective and strength to deal with it. When I was 21 years old, I was officially diagnosed with generalized epilepsy. Epilepsy is a neurological disorder that causes abnormal activity in the brain, seizures, and loss of consciousness.
The seizures would start off slow. First, I'd feel very tired — both mentally and physically. Then, it would become hard for me to stay focused. I would be in and out, as if I was falling asleep and waking up. After those signs, I would have the seizure and lose consciousness. I also experienced memory loss and I can only remember the events before I had the seizure.
Sound intense? It is.
When I was diagnosed, I felt upset and even betrayed. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me or where these seizures were even coming from. I had no idea what epilepsy was at the time, all I knew was I was having seizure after seizure and it was stressful.
My first seizure happened in my bedroom. I was talking with a friend and getting ready to head out. I noticed I felt drained and completely out of it, I felt zombie-like as I was getting ready. Next thing I knew, I was laying on the floor with my mom and friend hovering over me and blood scattered around me. I didn't know what happened or where the blood came from, but I was too exhausted to figure it out.
After being sent to the ER and hearing my friend tell the story, I realized what happened. I realized that on my way to the bathroom, I began shaking (convulsing), then fell and hit my head on the end of the bed. I busted the top of my nose in between my eyes and needed six stitches due to the impact.
After a while, it became more intense and the seizures were happening way too frequently. I would have seizures on the train, at work, and at home. At that point, I knew I needed to seek out some serious medical attention.
I spent a year and a half trying to figure it out and go back to "normal." I went to different hospitals and tried an array of medications. Nothing worked. I wanted to give up. It seemed like the doctors didn't know how to help me. I was losing hope in the medical system and had a hard time adjusting to what my new life would entail. I felt hopeless and remembered that my mentor at the time used to suffer from seizures. When I reached out to her, she recommended I make an appointment at NYU's neurology center and I did. I'm so grateful for her to this day because that's when I finally received the proper treatment and tests.
I was officially diagnosed at NYU, but I also had to face the hard reality that this was never going away.
My doctor informed me that the chance of epilepsy going away as an adult was unlikely, but it can be maintained. She also informed me that the type of epilepsy I have can be triggered by hormonal changes, stress, and alcohol. So, if I wanted to start a family, I would need some medical assistance to make sure I can carry seizure-free. I was literally shook! Just when I started to get a little hope, it was taken away. As for alcohol, I cut back, but not completely at first. I had some wine and a beer here and there and stuck to things with low alcohol.
Fast-forward to life after my diagnosis, I was doing fine, I hadn't had a seizure but I was taking medication every day. The medication was bittersweet. While I didn't have any seizures, I wasn't eating either. I could hardly finish a meal and I lost a significant amount of weight. I would only eat one meal a day or drink nutriments. Although eating became a struggle, anything was better than the seizures, so I continued taking my meds and smoked some weed to gain an appetite. Unfortunately, my seizures didn't stop and I stopped taking my meds and looked into holistic treatments (which I don't encourage you to do without consulting with your doctor). I realized I had to make these lifestyle changes to live seizure-free:
Avoid Anything That Can Cause Hormonal Changes
I stay away from all birth control methods, emergency contraceptives, and anything that can affect my menstrual cycle. I also take folic acid daily as a preventative measure to lower the effects of any issues I may have during pregnancy.
I Had To Accept Epilepsy
I never really accepted epilepsy in my life. For a long time, I disassociated myself with it so much, especially in the beginning. I didn't identify with being "disabled," not that there's anything wrong with that, I just didn't feel that way. I didn't want to face it, I didn't want to understand it, and I certainly didn't want to live it. I was also younger and less mature at the time, which made it even harder. I noticed when I accepted it, I paid more attention to triggers and effects, I was able to do more research and became open to exploring ways of living with it.
Keep Stress Low
Like anxiety, too much stress can be a trigger. To keep my stress low, I try my hardest to:
- Meditate every day
- Practice time-management
- Exercise or do yoga
- Attend therapy when I can
Very Low Caffeine Intake
Anxiety is also another trigger and too much caffeine makes me very anxious. I avoid anything that may cause any additional anxiety to keep it safe. I don't drink soda and stick to decaf coffee.
Eating Healthier
I struggled big time with eating and because of that, my body wasn't getting the proper nutrients it needed. I make sure I'm having the necessary amount of carbs, protein, and vegetables to maintain a healthy diet and weight.
Avoid Alcohol
Alcohol was the biggest trigger and probably the hardest one to let go of. I didn't drink much but it was still something I enjoyed. I also felt very peer-pressured to drink. Every time people would invite me to hang out, the first line would be "let's grab a drink" and it became harder to deal with.
I also felt uncomfortable sharing that I don't drink, each response was either "how you don't drink?" "you don't drink at all?" or "why you don't drink?" I don't blame the people around me for their curiosity, but it was hard to deal with on top of everything else. I was very uncomfortable with having epilepsy, especially when it came to talking about it.
Eventually, I just removed myself from certain settings like bars and when people asked why I didn't drink, I just let them know it's not for me.
Since making these lifestyle changes, I've been seizure-free for a year *insert twerk*. If you have epilepsy, please consult your neurologist before making any lifestyle changes.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
