

3 Keys To Knowing (And Getting) EXACTLY What You Want
I'll admit it: I've been getting a little annoyed by all of the memes, statuses and reminders that 2020 is right around the corner. Partly because I consider my birthday as my own personal New Year, but also because many times, our Instagram feeds look like a buffet of other peoples' accomplishments and manifestations.
We watch in awe as women we know (or know of) harness their power. They inspire us to do, be and have more. And that inspiration feels amazing--especially when we know that their accolades, recognition and rewards are well-deserved and long overdue.
But.
As a truly empathetic person and chronic people-watcher, I sometimes consider those of who are still out on the fringes. Y'know, the ones who feel like they're floating.
Women who know they potential, and have a vague idea of who they would like to be, but aren't sure how to make it happen. Because, let's face it: the motivational memes and abstract advice are only useful if you know EXACTLY what you want and how you'll get it.
As I've gotten further along the path to achieving my own goals, I've realized something: to even get started, there was some really BASIC shit that I just...didn't know I needed to do.
There are also things that helped me, that I didn't even realize I was doing. In the last year, I've left (a couple) of "friendships" and situationshipsthat no longer served me. I intentionally manifested a position in a field that I wanted within days, and have built some serious momentum in establishing my own brand. These steps may sound small, but it's all 100% more than I was doing this same time last year, and they're all 100% moving me toward what I want for my life.
I have a long way to go, but I hope this serves you as a starting guide to knowing and GETTING exactly what you want. First things first:
Know That You Are Inherently Worthy
They key word here is "inherently". You don't have to earn your worthiness. Believing this is the very first, most important step (and sometimes the most foreign). It's much easier said than done. Work on making worthiness a part of your being.
If you find women (famous or not) who are happy, inspired and finding peace in their lives, read their books. Watch their interviews. Examine their thought processes and how they carry themselves. Begin to create new thought patterns that support this basic truth: YOU ARE INHERENTLY WORTHY AND DESERVING OF A PURPOSEFUL AND ENJOYABLE LIFE. Even if you believe this on a surface level, exposing yourself to these women continuously will reprogram your subconscious mind.
The second step is the most fun:
CLEARLY Establish Your Desires
Some may get overwhelmed with this one, or even defensive. So in my Obama voice, "Let me be clear."
Establishing desires or goals is not always about money. With no map, you go nowhere.
No one can judge you, so decide what you want. If you have no idea what you want, great! You now have a desire...to establish a desire. You can begin researching different professions or businesses, and looking for new opportunities.
If you're feeling stuck, just pick one or two things that make you say, "It would be amazing to accomplish that in my lifetime." Or in one year, or five years. Ignore the skeptic in your mind and don't pressure yourself too much—most desires, life paths or intentions change dramatically on their way to physical manifestation. Breathe, spend time alone and really get clear on what you want your future to look like.
While we're talking about getting clear, on to the next step:
Choose The Best Vehicle For Your Desires
I struggled with this one for a long time, because I always wanted the solution that would get me to my desires "faster". So until I found a vehicle that made me happy on the way, I had what some would call "shiny object syndrome".
Here's a secret: there are no shortcuts.
If your desire is a certain income level, or accolade, that's great. Consider these questions: What makes you happy outside of work? You're probably very good at something how can you teach or expand on that, or give the experience to others?
I personally don't agree when people say, "Find your passion, and you'll never work a day in your life."
However, I do believe that being passionate WHILE you're in pursuit of your goal will empower you, even when the journey towards your desires gets difficult, as it definitely will.
It's worth saying again, that success has little to do with income or status. The money will definitely follow, but a successful woman is the one who is happy with where she is, where she's going and where she's been.
But to pursue something, you will deeply serve yourself. And in serving yourself deeply, you serve the world. Whether you're starting a restaurant, taking care of foster dogs, singing or writing or doing nails...whatever the vehicle to your desire(s) is. Find what you desire to do, learn how to improve the lives of others while you do.
Don't forget that in the process of achieving your desires, you will give to the world, just by being you. It's a win-win.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Regina King Offers The Secret To Gaining True Power & Success
This Is What's Blocking You From Manifesting
How To Manifest The Life Of Your Dreams In 5 Steps
Meagan Good Believes This Is How You Get What You What You Want In Life
Featured image by Getty Images
How Content Creators Hey Fran Hey And Shameless Maya Embraced The Pivot
This article is in partnership with Meta Elevate.
If you’ve been on the internet at all within the past decade, chances are the names Hey Fran Hey and Shameless Maya (aka Maya Washington) have come across your screen. These content creators have touched every platform on the web, spreading joy to help women everywhere live their best lives. From Fran’s healing natural remedies to Maya’s words of wisdom, both of these content creators have built a loyal following by sharing honest, useful, and vulnerable content. But in search of a life that lends to more creativity, freedom, and space, these digital mavens have moved from their bustling big cities (New York City and Los Angeles respectively) to more remote locations, taking their popular digital brands with them.
Content Creators Hey Fran Hey and Maya Washington Talk "Embracing The Pivot"www.youtube.com
In partnership with Meta Elevate — an online learning platform that provides Black, Hispanic, and Latinx-owned businesses access to 1:1 mentoring, digital skills training, and community — xoNecole teamed up with Franscheska Medina and Maya Washington on IG live recently for a candid conversation about how they’ve embraced the pivot by changing their surroundings to ultimately bring out the best in themselves and their work. Fran, a New York City native, moved from the Big Apple to Portland, Oregon a year ago. Feeling overstimulated by the hustle and bustle of city life, Fran headed to the Pacific Northwest in search of a more easeful life.
Her cross-country move is the backdrop for her new campaign with Meta Elevate— a perfectly-timed commercial that shows how you can level up from wherever you land with the support of free resources like Meta Elevate. Similarly, Maya packed up her life in Los Angeles and moved to Sweden, where she now resides with her husband and adorable daughter. Maya’s life is much more rural and farm-like than it had been in California, but she is thriving in this peaceful new setting while finding her groove as a new mom.
While Maya is steadily building and growing her digital brand as a self-proclaimed “mom coming out of early retirement,” Fran is redefining her own professional grind. “It’s been a year since I moved from New York City to Portland, Oregon,” says Fran. “I think the season I’m in is figuring out how to stay successful while also slowing down.” A slower-paced life has unlocked so many creative possibilities and opportunities for these ladies, and our conversation with them is a well-needed reminder that your success is not tied to your location…especially with the internet at your fingertips. Tapping into a community like Meta Elevate can help Black, Hispanic, and Latinx entrepreneurs and content creators stay connected to like minds and educated on new digital skills and tools that can help scale their businesses.
During a beautiful moment in the conversation, Fran gives Maya her flowers for being an innovator in the digital space. Back when “influencing” was in its infancy and creators were just trying to find their way, Fran says Maya was way ahead of her time. “I give Maya credit for being one of the pioneers in the digital space,” Fran said. “Maya is a one-person machine, and I always tell her she really changed the game on what ads, campaigns, and videos, in general, should look like.”
When asked what advice she’d give content creators, Maya says the key is having faith even when you don’t see the results just yet. “It’s so easy to look at what is, despite you pouring your heart into this thing that may not be giving you the returns that you thought,” she says. “Still operate from a place of love and authenticity. Have faith and do the work. A lot of people are positive thinkers, but that’s the thinking part. You also have to put your faith into work and do the work.”
Fran ultimately encourages content creators and budding entrepreneurs to take full advantage of Meta Elevate’s vast offerings to educate themselves on how to build and grow their businesses online. “It took me ten years to get to the point where I’m making ads at this level,” she says. “I didn’t have those resources in 2010. I love the partnership with Meta Elevate because they’re providing these resources for free. I just think of the people that wouldn’t be able to afford that education and information otherwise. So to amplify a company like this just feels right.”
Watch the full conversation with the link above, and join the Meta Elevate community to connect with fellow businesses and creatives that are #OnTheRiseTogether.
Featured image courtesy of Shameless Maya and Hey Fran Hey
I Tried One Of The Most Popular Sex Toys On The Market & Now I Get The Hype
Not sure which sex toy to buy to spice up your bedroom sessions? The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation (NG) may be one to consider. It is one of the most popular clitoral toys on the market. This revolutionary toy transformed the way people experience pleasure during sex and has taken the world by storm.
Satisfyer Pro 2 NG differs from your typical vibrator because it offers indirect clitoral stimulation using air pulse technology and an oval-shaped mouth that makes stimulating your clitoral hood easy. Since it's inexpensive and has received a lot of great reviews, it's an excellent choice for those who are new to clitoral toys.
Design & Features of Satisfyer Pro 2
The Satisfyer Pro 2 NG is a clitoral stimulator that features 11 different settings and a unique design that allows for maximum stimulation and pleasure. The head of the toy is made from soft, flexible silicone, which provides a gentle but powerful massage that stimulates all parts of your body while still remaining comfortable enough to use over long periods. The handle is ergonomically designed, so it fits easily in your hand and can be maneuvered with ease. Additionally, it's waterproof, so you can take it with you into the shower or pool without worry.
Another feature of the Satisfyer Pro 2 NG is a set of buttons that control its suction intensity. The round power button and a much larger oval-shaped button that's close to the nozzle each have a "+" and "-" on them, which you press to adjust the strength of the suction.
Satisfyer Pro 2 NG
Compared to the previous model, the Pro 2's controls are easier to use and more intuitive. The + and - buttons are now joined together, which means they're easy to find even when you're not looking at the device.
The Satisfyer Pro 2 NG is designed to provide intense pleasure through its 11 different settings. The settings range from gentle pulsations to powerful vibrations that give you more control over how deep your orgasm will go. You can easily build up to an orgasm without causing a huge jump, and you can back off at lower levels to prolong your pleasure.
I prefer the lower settings for an orgasm that feels more chill, but there are plenty of higher settings if you want to push things a bit harder. I've had no issues with this toy causing bruises or pain, but you should be prepared to test it out before deciding on the right setting for you.
My Honest Thoughts
One of my favorite things about this toy is that it can be controlled through the Satisfyer Connect app, which you can download for free. This allows you to control your Satisfyer Pro 2 NG through a smartphone or tablet. The app also lets you select the vibration pattern and intensity that you'd like to use. There are ten different vibration patterns and intensities available, so there is plenty to choose from. There are also a few pre-programmed options, which is a nice addition.
It's worth noting that you don't have to use the funnel-like tip that comes with the Satisfyer Pro 2 NG, as there are many different shaped silicone heads available that will fit most users. You can buy a pack of five for under $10, which gives you a great variety to choose from. Lastly, the battery life is also impressive, lasting up to two hours on a single charge, so there's no need to worry about running out of power in the middle of an intimate session!
All in all, I think that the Satisfyer Pro 2 NG is an excellent choice if you're looking for a high-quality sex toy that will provide intense pleasure every time. The combination of pressure waves and vibrations makes this toy incredibly versatile and easy to use and operate, even for beginners. Additionally, its waterproof design ensures that it can be used in any environment without concern for damage or malfunction due to water exposure.
So if you're looking for something new and exciting in the bedroom, consider giving the Satisfyer Pro2 NG a try! You won't regret it!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by miniseries/Getty Images