Okay, let me put something right on out here first. The "extra sweet" that is in this title is more like a play on words when it comes to the next holiday that's on the horizon. We all know that it's Valentine's Day. The reason why I think it's important to get that out into the open is because I am so over all of these articles that try to imply that there is something that we can do to make our vagina taste like a pineapple smoothie or chocolate ice cream. Anyone who has told you that lied. BIG TIME.
How To Make Your Vagina Taste Sweeter
However, there are definitely things that you can add to your daily routine that will cause your vagina (and vulva) to be fresher, less acidic and can provide a hint of sweetness. That's what we're gonna get into on this fine day.
So, if your plans for V-Day are to be your partner's sweet thang, here are some easy hacks that will make your partner enjoy you, on a whole 'nother level. Ready?
1. Avoid the Following Foods
Who hasn't heard that pineapple juice can make your vagina taste sweeter? Yes and no. Again, the reality is that our hot pocket wasn't created to taste like a fruit salad, no matter what we do—so it won't. With that said, it is true that our discharge/natural lubrication can somewhat shift in how acidic or salty it is, based on our diet. That's because what we eat does affect our mucosal secretions.
That's why it's a good idea to avoid foods with sulfur in them like onions and garlic (for self-explanatory reasons, I'm sure); sugary foods (because it can throw off your pH balance); dairy (it can suppress your immunity and also throw off your vagina's pH); asparagus (it makes urine and sometimes discharge smell) and red meat (it tends to be high in saturated fat which can lead to bacterial infections). Avoid them for how long? Eh, if you're planning on a lot of oral action for Valentine's Day, going without these, starting the Tuesday prior, is a safe bet.
2. Drink More Water
We're made up of 60-65 percent water which is why we need to drink it on a daily basis. Water is good for us because it flushes out toxins; regulates our body temperature; helps to keep us regular; strengthens our immunity; helps to keep us in a good mood; keeps us hydrated; reduces breakouts and helps us to produce more saliva and lubrication—both are important when it comes to fellatio and cunnilingus.
Also, since water helps to remove bacteria, this is another way to keep your vagina extra fresh from the inside out. It can only get better if that water has a few mint sprigs in it or if you decide to consume some infused water from time to time.
3. Try Some Kefir
I think I've shared before that I've got a fungal sensitivity. As a result, I have had a few more yeast infections (not just my vagina either; one time I had one underneath my breasts that was hellacious) than the average person, along with a couple of bouts of tinea versicolor. Anyway, the last time that I had a yeast infection and got prescribed an antibiotic, I knew that I needed to take some sort of probiotic because drugs tend to wipe out good and bad bacteria; probiotics restore the good that was lost (so that you don't end up with a yeast infection all over again).
Something that can help you with this is kefir which is basically a low-fat fermented milk. Before you turn up your nose, at the end of the day, it's pretty much drinkable yogurt. What makes kefir so good for you is it can help to control your blood sugar levels, lower your cholesterol, improve digestion, control your weight and, it's got antibacterial and antifungal properties that will keep your vagina in great health. Since adding kefir to my regular diet, I've noticed that my vagina smells even more pleasant. Some other consumers have told me that their partners can taste the difference, in the best way possible, too.
4. Lay Off of the Coffee and Alcohol
No matter how much you like java or wine, about 48 hours going into Valentine's Day, you should probably lay up off of both of them. As far as coffee goes, the caffeine in it can actually deplete vagina of the vitamins and minerals that it needs to remain healthy. Not only that but it has a way of altering the odor of your genitalia—and not in a good way. Alcohol? While on one hand, it can increase your libido, it also has a way of dehydrating your system as well. No one wants a dry va-jay-jay. So, try and chill on the liquor in the days leading up to V-Day. Have it on the actual day instead.
5. Snack on Some Celery
Celery doesn't taste like much of anything. I think we all can agree on that. Still, it's a really good idea to have some in your fridge so that you can chomp on a few stalks, at least a couple of times a week. On the health tip, it's 95 percent water (which means it can help to keep you hydrated while flushing out toxins). Plus, celery contains a good amount of vitamins A, C and K. Also, the magnesium, iron and calcium in it can neutralize acids within your system. Plus, celery has a good amount of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory compounds. As far as your vagina goes, because celery does contain Vitamin C, it's able to keep the bad bacteria at bay. Also, the chlorophyll in celery will make your va-jay-jay smell more pleasant too.
6. Take Some Cran-Cherry-Apple Shots
Nothing can make your vagina taste just like it. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. That said, there are some fruits that contain nutrients that can make our vagina a little more delightful and appealing. Cranberries are loaded with potent antioxidants that will keep your pH levels balanced. Bing cherries also have antioxidants as well as anti-inflammatory compounds. Apples are awesome because the phytoestrogen phloridzin and its antioxidants help to increase blood flow to your vaginal region while also increasing lubrication. Just imagine what a combination of this is (go with 100 percent juice; the extra sugary kind will work against you rather than for you).
7. Play with Some Frozen Grapes
Something that is super stimulating when it comes to sex is playing around with temperatures in the sense of going from warm to cold. On the cool tip, how about bringing some frozen grapes into the mix? Because grapes have a thin skin on them and they are made up of 82 percent water, your partner can tease you with them, all over your vaginal area, without worrying about whether they will irritate you days later.
I'm telling you, a frozen grape on your clitoral hood will feel amazing for you. Then you both sharing the grape will taste unbelievable to you both.
8. Don’t Forget About Coconut and Cinnamon Oil
Back when I was gettin' it in, you couldn't get me to not have a mixture of coconut oil and cinnamon oil on a bed stand somewhere. Coconut oil is dope because it contains properties to keep your vagina drama-feeling-free and it's able to safely dilute the potency of the cinnamon oil. Cinnamon oil is awesome because it provides a warming effect and the oil itself is cinnamon-y and sweet. For the skeptics, no it doesn't burn. Just make sure to keep the "less is more" approach in mind. Anyway, if you want a gift that keeps on giving, this is a combo that is pretty unmatched.
9. Cop Some Flavored Lube
If you're not ready to take the step of basically DIY-ing your own tasty lubricant, there are plenty of flavored ones on the market that are safe to use whether you're planning on using it for oral sex or…all things sex. If you want a lil' help choosing a brand that best suits your personal needs and desires, Let's Talk Sex reviewed 12 different ones. You can check 'em all out here.
10. Add Some Rosewater…to Your Bath Water
Did you know that rosewater has the ability to enhance the flavor of things? This is why it's sometimes an ingredient in different kinds of sauces and desserts. Since the properties in rosewater are also really good for you when it comes to things like treating infections, soothing your skin, and improving your mood, I bet you can see why I added it to this list of ways to make your vagina sweeter.
Adding some rosewater to your bath water allows you to gently cleanse your vagina. Then, if you add a little bit of it to your outer labia before slipping into something sexy, your vagina will smell feminine and inviting—the perfect combination for a pretty sweet 'n sexy Valentine's Day evening, if you ask me. Enjoy. Both of you. #wink
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
The Fall Staples It Girls From Coast To Coast Are Already Wearing
When it comes to trends, It girls lead, they don’t follow. Keeping one finger on the pulse of fashion and the other on their instincts, it’s their innate ability to dress to the beat of their own heart that makes them stand out amongst everyone else around them.
These women are ahead of their time, forecasting what will eventually be adopted by the masses often years in advance. In most cases, buying into trending items is just a by-product of their love of fashion, however, it's never the key ingredient of a memorable outfit.
As we transition from summer to fall, there’s no need to spend too many coins curating a brand new seasonal wardrobe, especially in this economy. Instead of shopping targeted ads, we interviewed fashion-forward influencers to spark our imagination and gather insight on what they’re already wearing leading into the upcoming season. Keep scrolling to get the scoop on essential items these fashion-forward women are looking forward to wearing this fall.
Helecia Williams, Houston
Comfort
Helecia’s style in three words: “Structured, bold, and explorative.”
Helecia’s outfit inspiration: “I am most interested in comfort as a trend. I am truly enjoying the mix of flats with elevated outfits and the incorporation of street-style elements into the looks. I have seen so much juxtaposition that makes the outfits interesting and intriguing. I love the pairing of fitted caps with [suits] and ballet flats. That mashup is impeccable, and we saw some of that peeking through last fall, and now it's taken on a life of its own.
"As a sneaker lover and comfort sneakers, bringing back flats is just a reimagination of past trends with a fresh twist.”
What color(s) is on Helecia’s fall mood board: “Hands down, red! It's such a bold and bossy color. Now, we see it becoming much more accessible in fashion and realize how easy it is to style and incorporate into a look for that extra pop. It also pairs well with so many other shades and tones. Some of my favorite combos are red and burgundy, red and yellow, and red and brown. Even if you aren't fully convinced that it's the color of the season and still have reservations about it, you can go classic and incorporate it in an accessory or makeup like a red lip.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? “I will be returning and recycling all of my 2023 fall wardrobe and just styling it differently or giving it new life. Despite my love for trends, I've curated a wardrobe that I love so I will mix the old in with the new. And not to toot my own horn but a lot of my fashion moments are ahead of the times and still very relevant for this upcoming fall. Expect to see tons of texture, juxtaposition, unexpected color combos, and street style.”
How Helecia is accessorizing this season: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is bold jewelry, particularly in gold. I've realized that accessories can do wonders, and the Schiaparelli era has me shook. I am a ‘Stan’ of Shop Khoi, a Black-owned jewelry brand that creates some of the most amazing, high-quality fashion jewelry. It just sets off any outfit no matter how simple it may be and easily becomes a conversation piece.”
Courtney Blackwell, New York City
Courtney’s style in three words: “Vintage, oversize, and sexy.”
Courtney’s most anticipated fall fashion items: “The fashion item I am anticipating wearing is vintage leather in all colors!”
Courtney's color picks for fall: “Cherry reds, forest greens, and different shades of gray.”
The trend that has Courtney in a chokehold this season: “Skirts! I’ve never been a skirt girly, well mini skirts girly, but I think I’m going to step it up with the minis this fall.”
Shaniqua Jordan, New York City
Timeless
Shaniqua’s personal styling tip for fall: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is any oversized outerwear piece, especially oversized blazers. And as basic as it may sound, I can't get enough of them. They instantly elevate any look, and they're so versatile, whether I'm going for a polished vibe or something more casual. Plus, they are perfect for layering as the weather cools down.
"I know most people wouldn't typically opt for suede, but if you've been following my style, you know I'm all about my outerwear. I love adding texture to my looks, even if it's subtle, and a good suede jacket does that for me. The soft texture and rich hues of suede add that cherry on top for any fall look. Whether I'm rocking a bomber style in a jewel tone or a tailored trench in a neutral shade, a suede jacket is one piece I'm looking forward to wearing to elevate my fall wardrobe.”
These colors are all over Shaniqua’s fall mood board: “The colors on my fall mood board are rich earth tones like deep browns and olive greens paired with classic neutrals like camel and cream. I'd like to throw in a pop of butter yellow. I know it might seem more spring-like, but I love how it pairs with deep browns, oxblood, and even grays. It's the perfect way to brighten up those cozy, moody fall vibes. I'm also loving pops of bold jewel tones like emerald and burgundy to add a bit of luxe to the season. These shades give that cozy yet elevated feel I'm always aiming for in my fall wardrobe.”
Shaniqua describes her fall wardrobe in three words: “If I describe my fall wardrobe in three words, they would be chic, layered, and timeless. I love combining unique pieces with a classic touch, creating looks that stand out without trying too hard. It's all about finding that perfect balance between staying true to timeless fashion and adding my own signature flair.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? "I am definitely an outfit repeater, so not only will I bring back pieces from my 2023 fall wardrobe, but I also have so many oldies but goodies that I’ll be incorporating into my fall 2024 looks. I think that's what really helps convey my personal style; buying pieces I genuinely love and being able to work them into my style season after season. It's all about longevity and staying true to what I love."
Alasia Allen, Los Angeles
Provocative
Alasia describes her style in three words: “Opulent, sleek, provocative.”
The fashion item Alasia anticipates wearing the most this fall: “I’m really into gloves this season. Whether it’s biker style or long, sleek, leather gloves, they add an interesting take to a fall look.”
The fall colors catching Alasia’s eye: “I’m loving navy or a super deep purple this season so I’ll be adding those into my wardrobe. They’re both so sophisticated and a good alternative to black.”
The fall staple Alaisa plans to bring back from her 2023 wardrobe: “Every year, I wear a shearling coat. It’s timeless, it’s warm, it’s my thing. There’s something very elevating about shearlings that have drawn to me year after year, and that’s what makes them my favorite style of outwear.”
The accessory that has Alasia in a chokehold this season: “Boots. I love a good boot as my go-to accessory for the fall/winter season. My favorites are boots that have a little flair to them and an interesting shape.”
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Office romances are nothing new, and it makes sense that they'd be something attractive to professionals since we spend a significant amount of our time at work. Recent research has found that more than 60% of adults have had a workplace romance, but I think that number is probably a bit higher, considering that another survey found that 35% don’t report their relationship to their employer. I've also known of many secret rendezvous between folk who work together.
I have to be honest with you, considering a workplace fling, romance, or full-on relationship with someone I work with is a hard no for me. I once hooked up with a guy in my industry while traveling for work, and while we weren't coworkers, we held leading roles in the same city—where the professional circles at a certain level are super-small. (We're talking New York City's Black media scene here).
Things got a bit awkward when I'd see him at events and he'd expect this big, adoring greeting when I really just wanted to move on as if nothing happened. I'd literally act like we never met. Call me savage but at the time, I was in my 20s, he was a bit older, and it was just what it was: a one-time sneaky link. I never called him after he gave me his number, so I thought he got the hint.
I'd always cringe when seeing him at events, thinking, "Has he told anybody about what happened, blowing it up like it was something it wasn't? What if he's a leader on a project or partnership between our two companies, and we actually have to work together? Is he gossiping about me with other men at my company? What if he retaliates in some way since I'd ghosted him after the hook-up?"
Since that day, with all those fears swirling around in my head for a night in bed that was mediocre at best, I made an official rule never to date anybody I work with or anybody in my industry for that matter. Here are a few other good reasons it's just not a good idea:
1. Cheaters abound when it comes to workplace romances.
There's actual research that found that 40% of professionals admitted to cheating on their current partner with a coworker. Funny enough, remember the thirsty guy in the aftermath of the hook-up I mentioned earlier? Just a few years later, I stumbled upon one of his social media updates—a photo of him and his wife—with a "Happy Anniversary" message in the caption. (And the math was indeed mathing. Based on the number attached to the anniversary, he was very married at the time we hooked up, something I had no knowledge of.)
Some men move real weird because right after our little experience, homeboy was literally acting like he didn't have a whole spouse at home, almost appalled that I wasn't interested in sparking anything continuous with him.
Now, I'm not saying all married men cheat on their wives with coworkers, but again, I've known of and personally witnessed this in the workplace. Someone I know is very happily married now, but when she was dating someone she worked with, they both were in relationships. There are also widely publicized accounts of cheating spouses, with one very prominent coming to mind for me involving BET co-founder Bob Johnson and former BET CEO Debra Lee.
2. I want to keep my professional integrity in tact.
I've always been a boys' girl, and I've been privy to some very interesting, eye-opening things men can say about women coworkers. Much of what I'd overhear would be enough for me never to participate in a workplace romance. As much as many of us think women are chatty, men gossip all the same, and trust me, he's telling somebody at the job about whatever it is he and Suzy from Accounting are doing.
I'm really big on protecting the integrity of my reputation as a leading woman in my profession, especially considering how difficult it is for Black women to be respected in certain spaces. We already face enough challenges with being taken seriously, feeling comfortable using our voices, and getting noticed for promotions without adding a certain air of scandal.
And I certainly don't like the idea that someone could attribute the totality of my success to the mere act of sleeping with a man I work with, which is something that has happened to many successful women who actually worked hard, have the skills and talent, and just happened to fall in love with someone on the job. Not all women are sleeping around to get ahead, but the mere possibility somebody could think that about me reinforces why I choose not to mix business and pleasure.
3. I take breakups very hard, thus I don't want to have a meltdown that impacts my livelihood.
I'm a long-term commitment type of girl nowadays, and when relationships end, after I've invested years, I'm always super-sad and need quite a bit of time and space to heal. I'd hate to be going through that process while having to see and work with the same person I'm heartbroken over, whether we broke up because of something they did or because I ended it.
More research has found that people dating someone they work with experience a 17% increase in fear over a potential breakup. Fear can lead to “a heightened sense of anxiety surrounding the outcome of their relationship.”
I really don't have time to be processing through feelings of failure and emotional distress while trying to avoid any interactions with an ex at work. I need my me-time to get through my breakup feels in peace.
4. I like to be noticed and acknowledged alone, not competing in the shadow of a coworker or boss I'm dating.
Listen, the Capricorn in me is not only ambitious but loves a good accolade and acknowledgment. I work hard, take myself and my work very seriously, and really don't prefer my greatness being overshadowed by a boss or coworker I share a bed with. Again, men already have a certain advantage in the workplace (oftentimes a very undeserving one), whether it's pay, promotions, or a simple public thank you in a meeting.
I've often found that even dating men outside my industry—whose work has absolutely nothing to do with what I do for a living and doesn't nearly compare in terms of duties, salary, or prestige—there's still an ego battle. If I have to work late, attend conferences, or travel, there's always a bit of questioning, jealousy, or resentment, sometimes resolved with a candid conversation or via a breakup.
I like being in a relationship where my man's accolades are his own, and neither of us competes with the other. The media industry is super-competitive, and again, men have an advantage. Sleeping with resentment and envy is something even the most humble loving man might do simply to save face.
Dating someone in my industry or at my job is simply something I don't find rewarding nor worth the risk, and I think I've been able to sustain healthy relationships because of the boundary I've set never to do it.
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