The Do's & Don'ts Of Having Sex On The Beach
I’ve never actually tasted a 'Sex on the Beach,' but I certainly have imagined doing it. In fact, I’ve had a lot of sex fantasies, but this remains to be one at the top of my list. However, I continue to harbor some fear because it seems that beach sex is no easy feat.
Perhaps I’ve just seen one movie too many where it went awry and felt vicariously traumatized by the outcome. But now, I’ve decided it’s high time to step outside of my comfort zone. I especially feel the urgency to deliver a few tips about beach sex after a friend of mine had sex on a beach in Mexico and got caught. In that instance, it was amazing how fast my thoughts transitioned from Sex Brought Me to the ER to Locked Up Abroad --- and I don’t want that for any of us. When having sex in public spaces, you must consider that public nudity is prohibited in some public spaces no matter how exhilarating the thought of it is.
Regardless of why you’re seeking out a beach sex adventure, I’m here to help you execute it in a way that ensures you have a fun time. Here’s to hoping these six tips will make your sex on the beach as tasty as it sounds.
1. Hide in plain sight.
Please don’t get bust down in the middle of the day in the middle of the beach – unless you’ve found yourself a swinger’s beach. I’m Team Fuck Those Kids just as much as anybody and I can even be Team Fuck The Police, but our goal here is to make sexy memories – not *claps* getting *claps* locked *claps* up *claps* abroad. Hiding in plain sight is probably the best way to make your fantasy come to life. Try having sex in the water, in a cabana, or wait until the sun has set. By then, it’ll be difficult for people to make out your figures and the oceanic movements.
2. Bring protection.
You might think I’m talking about condoms, and while that’s vital I’m actually talking about protection from the good outdoors. You want to be equipped with bug spray and maybe even a blanket. If you’ve seen the way sand spreads, and gets in nooks and crannies you never even knew existed – you know why I’m suggesting a blanket. It won’t completely eliminate the sand but it will help some. This might also add some extra coverage from sand fleas and such.
3. Think bigger than the basics.
You have to be ready for anything. With that in mind, you might want to consider sex outside of penetrative sex. Not only might it be easier to execute without getting caught but it could be easier for your partner if they’re feeling a little anxious about public sex. It can be difficult for us to get aroused when we’re anxious. This can make a penetrative experience go sour if, let’s say, a penis-presenting person is unable to stay erect due to nervousness. In this instance, non-penetrative sex speaks to oral and digital sex or even heavy-heavy petting. Dunno about you but I love a good teenage love affair, makeout sitch.
4. Slide and ride.
Instead of being butt-naked for your beach romp, you might consider sliding your swimwear to the side when trying to access the nookie. You do want to maintain a certain level of stealth on the beach.
5. Respect the local customs.
If you’re out of the country, you may want to exercise greater caution if this is a spontaneous thing. The cultural differences outside the country could get you in big trouble, and most people fail to look into those differences and laws before traveling. If you’re a Sex and the City fan then you remember the turmoil Samantha caused in Abu Dhabi – and none of us want that.
6. 'What's your fantasy?'
If your fantasy is strictly about sex on the beach and not an exhibitionist fantasy, then consider getting an Airbnb near a private beach. Crowds are more limited there and there will be significantly fewer people than if you were to be on a public beach. And quite frankly, I think it would be far more intimate.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
In the crazy world of dating, so much attention is placed on the behavior during actual dates. Whether it is choosing the right outfit or making a good first impression, the focus tends to center on the in-person time spent together. But something that often gets overlooked is the significance of "between date behavior (BDB)." BDB is not just generic good morning text messages (that can be sent to 10 women in one minute), but rather text check-ins during the day and even nightly phone calls. This is the time when two people are apart but still find time for connection.
It is during these in-between moments that the foundation of a truly meaningful relationship is often built. A glaring example of what happens when there isn’t BDB is the early relationship between Carrie and Big from Sex and the City. At the beginning of the series, she was so hyper-focused on the time she spent together that she ignored that Big wasn’t calling or texting her often between dates. Instead, he would reach out and send cars based on his convenience… and not hers.
When it comes to dating, don’t be Carrie!
BDB in Dating
@datingcoachanwar BDB in Dating #datingtips #datingadvice #singleblackfemale #singleblackwoman #blackfemininity #femininityforblackwomen #blackdatingadvice #blackdating #singlelatina #singlelatinas
Please realize that 80-90% of your time will NOT be with your partner while seriously dating, so the BDB will also be a significant part of your relationship. Here are some other reasons why what happens when you're not together is just as, if not more, significant than the hours spent face-to-face…
One of the key factors that makes BDB so crucial is authenticity. When we are with someone on a date, it is easy to put on a front (show one’s representative), showcasing our best qualities and concealing our flaws. But it is in our day-to-day interactions, the text messages and phone calls, that our true selves shine through.
Consistency in behavior is an indicator of authenticity. And authenticity builds trust. And trust is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship.
Speaking of trust, it is one of the foundations of a successful relationship. Building it doesn't happen in a single evening. It's the consistency in behavior between dates that solidifies trust. When your person consistently communicates, shows interest, and keeps it respectful in the moments between your dates, it is reassuring that your potential partner is seriously interested and invested in the relationship.
Also, in between dates, the channels of communication become lifelines that connect two people and nurture emotional intimacy. How you communicate and what you choose to communicate about can significantly impact a growing relationship. Consistent, thoughtful messages and meaningful conversations like sharing your thoughts, dreams, and vulnerabilities can help create a strong emotional bond. Being supportive and understanding during difficult moments can bring you closer together.
While the time spent on a date is super important, the BDB, I would argue, should not be slept on. It's the glue that holds the connection together, builds trust, and sets the stage for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. So, the next time you find yourself waiting for that next date, remember that the journey between those dates is just as significant, if not more so, in the grand scheme of building a meaningful connection.
Hope this helps!
Coach Anwar is a certified dating and relationship coach who has 13 years of experience helping Black and brown women date with strategy, meet relationship-ready men, and get into the best relationship of their lives.
To learn more, you can follow Coach Anwar on IG. Wanna work with Coach Anwar? Click here to book a dating consultation.
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