Guard your heart. There is a Scripture in the Bible that says, “Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23 — AMPC) You know, when you take in the fact that one definition of heart is “the center of emotions”, there is so much wisdom in this bible verse.
I say that because, since our emotions play a very profound role in the quality of life that we have, we’ve got to be careful about who we allow ourselves to experience certain emotions with. We’ve also got to be discerning about how we choose to process said emotions once things don’t go our way or as planned. Otherwise, heartbreak could indeed happen — and when it does, not only does that take a toll on your feelings, it can do a semi-number on your body too.
What — you didn’t know? A part of the reason why having a broken heart can be so potentially devastating is that it literally can wear out your system. In just a sec, I’m going to share with you how; that way, you can know how to handle heartbreak, from a physical standpoint — and also share it with others in your world, too. Because, unfortunately, death and taxes aren’t the only things that are certain in this world. Live long enough and…heartbreak is as well.
And the more you know how to handle it, the better.
1. Heartbreak on Your Brain
GiphyWhen it comes to what heartbreak does to your brain, the first thing that I found to be interesting is the fact that when you’re in a (semi) serious romantic relationship with someone, the part of your brain that is activated is called the caudate nucleus; it’s the same part that inspires and motivates you. And y’all, that is why, when you’re in love, you tend to want to do whatever you can to keep your partner happy.
On the other hand, when the relationship ends and you are in the process of healing from it, a part of the reason why the pain is so heavy is because it takes a while for your brain to catch on to the end of the dynamic — and so, it actually waits to feel stimulated in the way that it was used to and, when it’s not rewarded in that way, dopamine levels drop and profound sadness typically comes as a direct result.
Oh, something else to keep in mind is research reveals that love is an ultimate and literal painkiller, so much to the point that it activates the same part of your brain that a cocaine high does. So, when that sensation no longer exists — like crashing from a drug…your lows can end up being…very low.
Heartbreak on Your Heart
GiphyA few years ago, another writer for the platform wrote an article entitled, “Broken Heart Syndrome - Yes, It's A Real Thing.” It actually discusses some of the impact that heartbreak has on the heart itself. The technical term for broken heart syndrome is takotsubo cardiomyopathy; it’s what can happen to your heart when you encounter highly stressful situations (like a break-up). The symptoms can range anywhere from shortness of breath and irregular heartbeats to a drop in your blood pressure, chest pains and even fainting.
Interestingly enough, you are more at risk for broken heart syndrome if you’re a woman or if you’re 50 or over. Anyway, since broken heart syndrome mimics a heart attack in a myriad of ways, if you are feeling any of this, you should alert your physician. They can run tests to diagnose what is really going on.
Heart Heartbreak on Your Immunity
GiphyAlthough you may have never actually thought that heartbreak could wreak havoc on your immune system, once I break down how, I think it will make perfect sense to you. That said, I don’t know about y’all but whenever I go through a break-up (or a huge relational disappointment), it tends to be hella stressful. And stress and immunity are not friends.
For one thing, stress can cause inflammation throughout your immune system and, when that happens, that can weaken your immunity which can make you more susceptible to getting sick (or it taking longer to get over being under the weather). Just one more reason to take healing from heartbreak seriously.
Heartbreak on Your Digestive System
GiphySpeaking of stress and your immune system, since 80 percent of your immunity is in your gut, it would also make sense that a broken heart could result in your digestive system being a bit compromised as well. In fact, some health experts say that if you’re noticing abdominal discomfort, acid reflux, nausea, vomiting or diarrhea and you’re currently going through a stress-filled situation like ending or grieving a relationship, that could be why you’re experiencing those types of symptoms.
Heartbreak on Your Hormones
GiphyThink back to when you were in the beginning stages of the best relationship you ever had. If one way that you would explain the feeling is if you were walking on air, to some extent, that’s not an exaggeration. The reality is that being in love/a healthy romantic dynamic causes your dopamine (it makes you feel good) and oxytocin (it causes you to bond to other people) levels to surge — both of which are natural hormones in your system.
And then, when heartbreak happens, the stress hormone cortisol starts to go into overdrive which can cause you to become anxious, have trouble sleeping and to possibly experience depression-related symptoms. The neurotransmitter serotonin tends to tank too which causes you to have a loss of appetite, to not sleep well and to possibly even have hot flashes.
Heartbreak on Your Nervous System
GiphySince some health experts say that going through a break-up can impact you on basically the same level of someone close to you passing away — and that can put your nervous system through quite a bit too. For instance, something that I found to be interesting is that, according to science, the two nervous systems that typically keep each other in balance (the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems), they both end up amplifying which causes them to “miscommunicate” — and this can lead to lots of anxiety or to becoming a bit emotionally erratic.
Heartbreak on Your Energy Levels
GiphyEmotional exhaustion is absolutely a real thing and heartbreak is one of the top issues that can lead to it. That’s because, when you are going through the process of ending a relationship, it can lead to overthinking, feelings of regret, going through multiple “closure conversations” — things that are stressful and can really take a lot out of you. As a result of all of this, you may not want to eat, you may become a temporary insomniac, your cycles may be unpredictable and you might have headaches too.
Heartbreak on Your Skin, Hair & Nails
GiphyFace breaking out? Hair not growing? Nails more brittle than ever? If you’ve recently broken up with someone, that could be the reason why. As we’ve already discussed, few things are more stressful than the end of a serious relationship and another way that stress can take its toll is in your appearance.
____
Geeze. I know, right? Is this the most feel-good article in the world? Probably not. I do hope that it keeps you from gaslighting yourself — or allowing others to do it.
If you are going through a heartbreak and you’re not currently feeling like yourself, as you can see, it’s not “all in your head”. Some of what you’re feeling/experiencing can be very real and deserve to be handled with care.
Heartbreak is hard. Take care of you.
ALL OF YOU, please. Your mind, body and spirit need it.
Science says so.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Unsplash
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Luckily, there are some things that you can do to either speed up the healing process of a cold or make having one more bearable than usual. Things that are affordable, all-natural, and easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Are you ready to know how to nip a damn cold in the bud…before you even get one?
Here ya go.
1. Fire Cider
Unsplash
Two drinks that I am gonna drink all the way down, each and every fall season, are hot chocolate and apple cider (that’s warmed up). So, when I read about something called “fire cider,” it absolutely caught my attention. If you’re not familiar with it, fire cider is a homemade drink that consists of things like apple cider vinegar, herbs and other ingredients that are specifically designed to boost your immune system.
I won’t lie to you — since some of the traditional recipes contain things like onion and garlic (sulfur has potent medicinal properties) and sometimes even hot peppers (which help to clear up congestion) — although fire cider might not be your favorite as far as your palate is concerned, the viruses (because there are reportedly somewhere around 200 of ‘em) that cause colds will lose a lot of their impact if you drink this; and that makes it worth a shot — well, swallow. Some fire cider recipes can be found here, here and here.
2. Probiotics
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” — and that alone should explain why and how a probiotic can help to prevent colds and make it easier to get over them. The reality is that a healthy gut is what helps to monitor how your immune system reacts and responds to harmful pathogens that may try and get into your system, including ones that cause the common cold.
And since probiotics feed your gut with “good bacteria,” this gives your gut the ability to be better (and quicker) at fighting off the bad. So yeah, take a probiotic — all of the time and definitely while you have a cold. It helps.
3. Peppermint (or Eucalyptus) Oil
Unsplash
Although I rarely get sick (praise the Lord!), when I do catch a cold, I think what I hate the most is not being able to comfortably breathe. Well, something that is proven to help with that is peppermint essential oil. That’s because it contains properties that act as a natural decongestant as well as a fever reducer. Another essential oil that can hook you up in this department is eucalyptus oil. It’s bomb because it helps to soothe a nagging cough, it can clear up chest congestion and ultimately makes it easier to breathe.
So, before turning in at night, either mix a few drops of one (or both) of these oils with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado or jojoba, warm it up for 10 seconds in the microwave and apply it to the sides of your nose or on your best or back. Or put the oil in a diffuser. It can quickly ease cold-related symptoms while also making it so much easier for you to rest (which is something else your body needs to get over a cold; more on that in a sec).
4. Zinc Lozenges
Zinc is a mineral that helps to keep your immune system healthy and strong — and since a weakened immunity is directly connected to having more colds (2-4 a year is considered to be “normal,” by the way), it’s always a good idea to have some zinc in your body. As it relates to colds, specifically, aside from the fact that zinc can help you from catching one to begin with, there are also studies which say that sucking on zinc lozenges can help to shorten the timespan of a cold as well.
To be fair, some people have said that zinc lozenges make them feel nauseated; however, everything has its pros and cons and so, how would you know if you’re one of these folks unless you try it? Oh, and while we are on this topic, there are also zinc supplements and foods that are high in zinc (like red meat, lentils, hemp seeds, cashews and quinoa) if you want to try and get more zinc into your system that way (although lozenges are gonna be your best bet on the shortening tip; just sayin’).
5. Foods Rich in Vitamin C
Unsplash
Speaking of foods that can fight a cold, out of all of what you’ve read here, probably what you are quite familiar with is the fact that vitamin C and colds are mortal enemies. In fact, one pretty significant study says that by taking one gram of vitamin C a day during a cold, you can reduce the severity of your symptoms by as much as 15 percent.
That’s because vitamin C is packed with antioxidants, it helps to reduce bodily inflammation and it helps to strengthen your immunity too. Foods that are full of vitamin C include chili and yellow peppers, kale, kiwi, papaya, broccoli, kale and citrus fruits.
6. Elderberry Tea
If you’re someone who likes to put preserves on your biscuits or toast, have you ever tried one that is made from elderberries (recipe here)? It’s actually pretty good — and good for you because elderberries are high in vitamin C, fiber and antioxidants. And that is why they are great whenever you are trying to hurry up and get over a cold because they also contain properties that are literally antiviral — and since a cold is a virus…well, there you have it.
One of the best ways to get elderberries into your system? Elderberry tea. If you add honey to it, honey can help to shorten symptoms like a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough by 1-2 days. Very cool.
7. REST
Unsplash
Did you know that even one day of not getting the sleep that you need to weaken your immune system and increase bodily inflammation at the same time too? That’s because one of the benefits of a good night’s rest is it rejuvenates and recharges your system, so that your immunity can work at its optimal level.
Not only that but, according to science, if you already have a cold, getting plenty of rest can benefit you on a few different levels as well. First, your cytokines (proteins that boost your immunity) are released when you sleep.
Second, your body temperature elevates enough to kill some of the bacteria and viruses that are making you sick. Finally, sleep provides you with the energy that you need in order to get through the day while you are healing from your sickness. So, if you want to get through your cold ASAP, be intentional about getting as much rest as you possibly can.
BONUS: A Humidifier
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”. There really are all kinds of solid reasons to invest in a humidifier around this time of the year — and one of them is to make getting through the cold (and flu) season so much easier for you. Since humidifiers bring moisture into the air, that can help to loosen up congestion, soothe an irritated throat, decrease coughing, help with the healing process of respiratory infections and it can help you to sleep better — so that you can get past your cold sooner.
So, if you don’t already have a humidifier, cop one ASAP. Your future colds will absolutely hate that you did. LOL. For a list of some highly recommended humidifiers that are currently on the market, click here.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Casper1774 Studio/Shutterstock