When people think of the higher self, they often think of something separate from the physical body, or possibly some old Indian esoteric theory or myth.
Some people don't even think about it at all. Some even confuse the higher self with the human conscious or soul. The truth is, the higher self is an elevated form of consciousness that exists whether you are aware of it or not. Being able to communicate openly with your higher self is what the true meaning of "woke" is.
According to Roxane Burnett, "Your Higher Self is, in simple terms, the highest aspect of you that can be attained and held in the physical body. It is the part of you that knows, sees, and understands at the highest level possible, while the physical part of you still continues to move around in the third dimension. Anchoring the wisdom of the Higher Self into your physicality is very much a part of our human spiritual evolution and purpose."
The process of "anchoring the wisdom of your omniscient higher self into your physicality," is called "Integration." Before completely understanding this process, one must go through the journey of spiritual Ascension. Opening, healing, tuning, and balancing your chakras will most definitely aid in this transformation.
Related: How Opening Your 7 Chakras Can Transform Your Mind, Body & Spirit
This read will list 5 universal and collective higher self truths that will help you navigate through life struggles with more clarity and ease.
1. You Are The Co-Creator Of Your Reality
When I was growing up, my mother used to always say, that "it is not up to man to direct his step." It always annoyed me because I wrote it off as some religious rhetoric that preached against having an "independent spirit" or the desire to live out your own life how you saw fit. Now that I am older, and have learned how to tap into my higher self, I finally realize the true meaning of that scripture.
It means that at a higher conscious level, we are truly creating our experience from our higher selves. This is where the ideas of "creating your own reality," "manifestation," and the "law of attraction" is powered. We have been born into a consciousness that tells us the world outside ourselves is what creates the circumstances of our lives.
In reality, everything about our existence is created from within.
Think of your higher self as a puppet master in a higher dimension, controlling your thoughts and your actions. That puppet is you. While you can't control the actions of others or the external unforeseen circumstances that affect you all the time, you can most definitely receive guidance from your puppet master, or your higher self as to what the next steps are to take in this journey called life.
When you fully become aware of your "creator consciousness," you can actively begin to change your reality. Tapping into this consciousness is tapping into the wholeness of yourself and the infinite connectedness to everyone and thing that exists in and out of your realm of awareness.
In this awareness, you go from being a victim to victor, feeling power-less to power-ful.
You truly become a free spirit.
2. Everyone You Meet Is A Reflection Of Yourself
Everyone who comes into your life does not come by chance. Think of people in your families or your circles as part of your individual human manifestation and you are part of theirs. This idea is also related to the "Six Degrees of Separation" theory. Each relationship, no matter how long, deep, or brief, is a mirror into your own soul.
On a higher level, if your spirit is wounded in any way, you will attract someone to you whose own energetic wounds will reflect yours.
For instance, I once had an old roommate who assumed that I abandoned her in the city after she had taken quite a while during a walk-in interview. I waited for some time out in the sun before I decided to go grab a slice of pizza for her and I. When I returned, she was nowhere to be found and her phone was off, so I went home. Once I got home, she went off on me for leaving her in the city. My rebuttal was that I did not leave her and that I actually was looking out for her, as I tossed her pizza on the kitchen table. She triggered me into a full-fledged panic attack.
Her fear of abandonment mirrored my frustration with feeling underappreciated and unreciprocated by my friends and family. From a higher level of awareness, I was able to understand why I was triggered in her reaction to how I triggered her.
This understanding can help you better deal with conflicts with people in your life. Using your higher self to understand arguments allows you to acknowledge your own trauma that you find in the reflection of others. It is in this moment that you can heal your own pain and empathize with the trauma of the person who pulled the trigger.
3. Everything Happens For A Reason
People have been using this saying wrong since the times of Aristotle. There is a difference between things happening as a result of cause or effect, versus as a result of something that is divinely purposed.
When an electrical fire starts in a building, killing an innocent family, the reason for this may be that there was a faulty wire within the walls that went under the radar because the landlord did not keep up with his building inspections. The term becomes true of divinely orchestrated purpose when you are walking in your truth, guided by your higher self. Every soul has a purpose.
When your soul has a purpose, you spend your lifetime, through trial and error, learning what your purpose is.
During this time, certain karmic situations and relationships happen in order for you to learn lessons that bring you closer to fulfilling your purpose. The way in which these lessons unfold, is "what happens for a reason." Since you are the co-creator of your reality, certain things happen in your experience that are most definitely orchestrated by your higher self.
This is what the saying, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" means. If you are indeed directing your step, wouldn't you know from a higher level of awareness what you can or cannot deal with? Don't you get back up with every lesson that makes you fall, with a new awareness, understanding, motivation, or redirection?
That does not happen for no reason.
As for all the folks that lose their physical bodies along their current lifetimes, due to things beyond their control, I believe it is up to that soul to incarnate into another lifetime and continue living its soul purpose.
4. Intuition Is Direction From Your Higher Self
Your intuition acts as divine direction from your higher self. Whenever you have a gut feeling or intuitive hunch about something, you are receiving a message from a higher form of consciousness. When you get a tingle that rises up your spine, or if the hair on your arms or neck stand up, this is a physical response to intuition, and something you should pay attention to. Intuition is also known as "The Sixth Sense." It extends past our 3D physical senses of, sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste.
Intuition is pure cognitive information that is not interfered by conscious reasoning. This intuitive guidance comes in the form of dreams, signs, synchronicities, clairvoyance, claircognizance, clairsentience, and clairaudience. Intuition also brings forth creativity, innovation, change, and free thinking.
Intuition connects you to the highest form of truth, which cannot come from outside of you, rather within.
The heart and the mind can both succumb to ego, which can be swayed by illusion, and 3D low vibrational energies. When you connect to your higher self, you connect to your ultimate truth, which collectively unites all humanity. This means that intuition is energetic. It is mind-blowing to understand that we have the ability to tap into something that comes directly from higher realms, connected to a field of energy or collective consciousness web, measured in vibrations and frequency.
5. Your Higher Self Doesn't Recognize Time
Your higher self exists in a space that transcends linear time tables. It doesn't have to worry about running late, or clocking in, and it doesn't place timers on when it wants to start a family, or open a new business. It exists perfectly in a higher frequency that is untouched by a three-dimensional understanding of time, or anything for that matter. I am learning that the old way of viewing time is not only toxic, but it causes panic, anxiety, unrealistic expectations, and self-doubt.
As we all begin to ascend, our attachments with time, or the expectation of when things should happen, will begin to dissolve in a very painful way, however, it will not remain painful, if you learn to replace your expectation of time with your realization of surrender. I have driven myself crazy waiting for my soulmate to show up, or waiting for a response for a new job, or waiting for other people to be ready to meet me where I am, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I have finally realized that I am causing my own demise by depending on my own 3D expectation of time.
There is divine timing and order to everything.
You must trust that you are infinitely guided by your own higher self. I will no longer ask my spirit guides how long something is going to take. I will only ask them to steer me in the right direction. The next time you feel yourself stressing over time. Just STOP. Put a middle finger up to it, breath, and just be present.
When you are so wrapped up in time, you are missing the opportunity to absorb divine information from your higher self. Be quiet and listen. If time waits for nobody, why do we wait for time?
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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