Now that the weather is finally starting to feel more like it should (being that it is officially fall 'n all), I thought it would be a stellar idea to share with you, not just some drinks that can help to take some of the chill out of your bones, but also ones that are great when it comes to relieving stress. Because, let's face it, even though autumn and winter can be some of the most exciting times of the year, when you factor in all of the activities on your plate, the family that you will be seeing, the money that you'll be spending and whatever else that you've got on your upcoming to-do list — whew, they can also trigger feelings of anxiety, restlessness and even low-key frustration, if you're not careful.
So, this week, do your mind, body and spirit a favor and treat yourself to one (or more) of the 10 drinks on this list that can help to soothe and de-stress you. Because, in just a minute, you'll see why they are such bomb ideas on every health-related level. (Where's your favorite mug at anyway, chile?)
1. Apple Cider
If there's a part of you that's always wondered what the difference is between apple cider and apple juice, cider is simply an apple drink that is totally unfiltered and unsweetened. This means that, at the end of the day, you are getting the benefits of apples in their purest form. Some of those benefits include the fact that they are a good source of fiber and Vitamin C, they can help to lower your diabetes risk and prevent cancer and they even contain compounds that fight cancer. As far as relieving stress goes, apples are good for you because the phosphorous and iron in them can help to reduce oxidative stress which, at the end of the day, is basically an imbalance of oxygen in your system. So yeah, if you want to calm your system down so that you can rest and relax easier, a warm cup of apple cider can easily do the trick.
Make Some: Homemade Apple Cider
2. Oat Straw Tea
Whenever I do articles like this, I try and find things that aren't commonly mentioned. Personally, I think oat straw tea qualifies. It's a tea that also goes by the name Avena sativa and has a great reputation for being a mild relaxant as well as a sleep aid. Some other cool things about this particular tea are it has a reputation for helping women when it comes to strengthening our bones, stabilizing our blood sugar levels, soothing our nervous system, reducing depression-related symptoms and, some say that it can even help to boost our libido. A part of the reason why it can pull all of this off is that it's rich in B-vitamins.
Anyway, if you've never given oat straw tea a shot, you just received some pretty solid science-backed reasons to.
Make Some: Oat Straw Tea
3. Winter Lemonade
If you're a fan of lemonade yet you've never had the pure pleasure of drinking the twist on it, known as winter lemonade, sis, what are you waiting on? While there are all kinds of variations to the recipe, it generally has ginger, cloves, and cinnamon (and sometimes vanilla) in it. Lemons are great because they are a natural detoxifier which is always beneficial when it comes to keeping stress levels down. Ginger is bomb because it contains powerful medicinal properties, can reduce menstrual pain (if that's when you're feeling the most stressed), and helps to fight off infections (being sick is always stress-filled).
Cloves are cool because they're loaded with antioxidants and are able to help kill bad bacteria as it strengthens your liver (which pulls toxins out of your skin). Cinnamon is a lick because it also has strong medicinal properties, can help to reduce inflammation, and is full of antioxidants. As far as vanilla goes, it contains anti-inflammatories that boost brain health; plus, it has antioxidants in it too. Drinking this kind of lemonade warm or cold is not only delicious but so satisfying to your senses as well.
Make Some: Winter Lemonade with Ginger and Cloves
4. Warm Oat Milk
Once I realized that almond milk isn't the best thing for the environment, I switched over to oat milk and haven't looked back since. Aside from the fact that it's dairy-free, oat milk is good for you because it is high in fiber and B-vitamins. Plus, it's cholesterol-free, can help to regulate your blood sugar levels and, thanks to the magnesium and zinc that's in it, oat milk can relax your nerves and muscles too. And because drinking anything warm or hot can be truly relaxing, if you're looking for something to help you sleep at night, a cup of warm oat milk in your favorite mug just may be what you've been looking for all this time.
(Heads up: the recipe that I've enclosed contains espresso which you would want to leave out at night…for obvious reasons.)
Make Some: Spiced Oat Milk Latte
5. Cinnamon Hot Chocolate
Anyone who doesn't like hot chocolate gets an immediate side-eye from me. I mean, what in the world, y'all? Not only does it taste like a slice of heaven, if it's dark chocolate, but there are also some pretty impressive health benefits that come right along with it too. Dark chocolate's got fiber, magnesium, iron, copper, and manganese. Dark chocolate is a good source of antioxidants. Dark chocolate can also help to lower your blood pressure, improve your brain function and increase blood flow throughout your blood.
And just what does it do for you stress-wise? Aside from the magnesium that's in it, dark chocolate has a way of altering your brain frequency to where your body's natural stress hormone cortisol levels are able to drop which can cause you to feel calmer. And since something else that cinnamon can do is help to soothe anxiety and depression-related symptoms, how could you not want to make yourself a cup of hot cocoa and then sprinkle some cinnamon spice on top of it?
Make Some: Homemade Cinnamon Hot Chocolate
6. Ashwagandha Tea
An herb that's pretty popular in Ayurvedic medicine is ashwagandha. Health-wise, it's good for you because it contains properties that regulate blood sugar, helps to reduce the growth of cancer cells, reduce bodily inflammation, and even can boost fertility in men (although pregnant and breastfeeding women should consult their doctor before consuming it). Ashwagandha makes this de-stressor list, though, because it's another tea that has a great reputation for keeping stress at bay. That's because there is plenty of data to support that it plays a significant role in reducing cortisol in your system.
Make Some: Ashwagandha Sleep Tonic
7. Warm Vanilla Milk
While I've already touched on what a cup of warm milk can do, because vanilla milk is so delicious, I had to circle back and emphasize a couple of other reasons why vanilla can benefit you when it comes to de-stressing your system. For starters, just the aroma of vanilla has a way of creating a calming effect (which is why, as an essential oil, it's considered to be a de-stressor). Also, because it also has antibacterial properties, drinking some warm vanilla milk can be good for you if you're trying to prevent a cold or if you need help falling asleep if you already happen to have one (check out "Got A Killer Cold? These 10 Hacks Will Help You To Sleep Better.").
Make Some: Hot Vanilla
8. Lavender Hot Chocolate
If cinnamon is so not your thing or you want to step out of the box a bit when it comes to the variations of hot chocolate that you're typically used to, have you ever had lavender hot chocolate before? When I tell you that it is something that tastes truly divine! Not only that but lavender contains properties that help to heal chronic pain, lower your blood pressure and heart rate, lessen hot flashes that are directly related to menopause and improve your quality of sleep.
The key here is to not make your hot chocolate with lavender essential oil. Look for drops that are food-grade or add some dried lavender to your recipe.
9. Mulled Wine
A pretty popular drink during the fall and winter months is mulled wine which is basically red wine with some fruits and spices in it. The recipe that I've included calls for red wine, apple cider, orange, honey, cinnamon, cardamom, and some brandy if you really want to get buck with it. Red wine is good for stress because the compound resveratrol that's in it helps to literally protect your DNA from being affected by stress. Oranges help to bring stress relief thanks to the Vitamin C in them that helps to lower your cortisol levels.
Honey's good because it reduces stress levels and produces a natural calming effect. Cardamom is a dope spice because it aids in lowering cortisol and your blood pressure. And brandy's cool because it contains soothing properties that can actually help you to sleep more soundly at night. Definitely another reason to pick up another bottle of red wine and do some steeping, if you ask me.
Make Some: Mulled Wine
10. Chai Latte
If you want to go all out and make your own chai lattes from scratch, you'll need some black tea, cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, nutmeg, allspice, honey, and milk (or a milk alternative). Black tea is ideal because it lowers stress levels. Nutmeg is beneficial because it acts as a natural antidepressant. Allspice assists with lowering your blood pressure. So, if there is a warm drink that is the de-stressor of all de-stressors, it's a fair conclusion that chai latte would probably be it. Enjoy!
Make Some: The Ultimate Chai Latte
Featured image by Getty Images
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
You Like Having Sex With Him. Your Vagina Doesn't. What Should You Do?
I already know. Some of y’all read the title of this and was like, “How does that even make sense?” Oh, believe you me, there can be someone who you are definitely attracted to, who you connect with on a billion levels, where the sexual chemistry is totally off the charts — and yet, when it comes to intercourse, your vagina is on some "Do we really have to?"
It can be for a few different reasons. His penis size might take some adjusting to. His sperm/semen may throw your pH balance off. You might end up with a yeast infection or UTI (urinary tract infection) on a semi-consistent basis. Uh-huh, now do you see how you can enjoy coitus and still experience — let’s call them “technical difficulties” as far as your vagina goes at the same time?
If this has been your plight and you’ve been scouring the internet in order to get some much-needed (literal) relief, here are 12 things that may be able to get you, your partner, and your vagina on the same page, as far as experiencing consistently pleasurable copulation is concerned.
1. Bring in Some Lubrication
GiphyLet’s begin with something that can kill two birds with one stone — umm, so to speak. Whether your issue is that your man’s size is a lot to handle or either the friction of the sex or the inability to get as wet as you would like is resulting in you ending up with a UTI, invest in some lubrication. The wetter you are, the better sex will feel, and the less irritated your vagina will be.
The real hack is to get the kind that is as close to the pH level of your vagina (which should be somewhere around 4.5) as possible. Word on the street is that silicone-based ones can help you out in this department. By the way, saliva can also throw your pH balance off, which is why some people use things like dental damns. Just something to keep in mind as far as oral activity goes.
2. Use Condoms
GiphyIf it’s been a minute since you’ve had sex (check out “What Actually Happens To Your Vagina During Seasons Of Abstinence?”) or you’re about to change (or add) sex partners, there are many reasons why you should use a condom — one of them being that bacteria or sperm/semen definitely has the potential to throw your vagina’s pH level off as well which can lead to a yeast infection.
Not to mention the fact that men can get yeast infections and sometimes they are asymptomatic. This means that if you don’t want to be passing one of those bad boys back and forth to each other, a rubber can serve as a barrier for that.
3. Consume More Probiotics. Eat Less Sugar.
GiphySpeaking of bacteria, another thing that you can do to decrease the chances of bad bacteria overtaking the good kind that’s in your va-jay-jay, be intentional about taking a probiotic and consuming foods that are filled with probiotics. Also, try to eat less sugar. Probiotic-enriched foods like yogurt, cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, fish sauce, and fermented veggies will give you more good bacteria. The reason why sugar is an enemy of your vagina is because that is what feeds bad bacteria and yeast.
4. Have Your Partner Give You a Perineal Massage (with a Twist)
GiphyAs a doula, I know quite a bit about perineal massages. Basically, it’s all about having your partner put some oil or lubricant on one or two of their fingers before using them to gently massage your perineum (the skin that is in between your vaginal opening and your anus) in order to decrease your chances of tearing while giving birth. Well, if you want to prepare yourself for sex after going without for a long period of time or before engaging with a larger partner, this type of massage could help you out, too.
The reason why I didn’t just call this good old-fashioned fingering is because if a part of what you want to partake in is anal sex, it can be wise to not just stretch your vagina but that piece of skin as well. Just make sure that if you plan on using a condom, you go with a water or silicone-based lubricant only. Oils will dissolve the potency of latex.
5. Invest in a Vaginal Dilator
GiphyI’m actually kind of surprised that vaginal dilators don’t come up more in sex-related articles. If you’ve never heard of them before, they are tube-like devices that are made out of plastic or medical-grade silicone that can help to stretch out your vagina, make it more flexible, and reduce discomfort during intercourse (especially if yours is related to having some sort of issues with your pelvic floor).
In fact, if you’re in the latter stages of perimenopause or you’re post-menopausal and sex has not been as pleasurable for you because of symptoms that are directly associated with that, a vaginal dilator might be able to offer up some relief.
For the record, you can typically purchase them at local drugstores (and online); however, you might want to run this decision by your doctor first, just so they can discuss any potential challenges/issues that you should know about (since they have your medical history).
6. Take Some Ibuprofen Before Sex
GiphyThis tip right here is a bit of a double-edged sword because whiletaking an over-the-counter pain reliever like ibuprofen an hour or so before having sex can help to reduce pain and inflammation to your vagina (if that has been an issue in the past),some studies say that men who take these same meds can potentially increase their chances of experiencing some level of erectile dysfunction.
That said, since the article today is focusing on our body parts, yes, this is somewhat of an effective hack, especially if you also soak in a warm bath prior to getting some.
7. Urinate Right After Sex
GiphyIf you’ve always wondered if you really should make it a point and practice to pee after having sex, the short answer is yes. Although nothing is going to blow up if you don’t, the reason why it’s a good idea is it can help to flush bacteria out of your urethra which can, in turn, lower your chances of experiencing a UTI.
8. Extend the Foreplay
GiphyI don’t think one woman on this planet is shocked thatmost ladies would prefer more foreplay before sex. As far as how long that should be, some studies state thatsomewhere around 20 minutes is good. That said, all of us are different, and, keeping in line with being wetter making sex better theme, if you need more time with “the appetizer” before the “main course” —tell your partner that. When it comes to less friction, more comfort, and ultimately more satisfying sex, longer foreplay might just be all that you need.
9. Stay on Top
GiphyYou probably already know this; still, I’m adding it in for safe measure. If you want to be able to better control the speed, motion, and depth of your partner when it comes to intercourse, opt for being on top. It will feel more comfortable to you, and I don’t know any man who doesn’t like to get a full view of what his partner has to offer when she’s on top of him. It’s a win for everyone involved.
10. Sign Up for Some Pelvic Floor Therapy
GiphyIf no matter what you do, you seem to experience some level of discomfort during sex, you might want to look into getting some pelvic floor therapy. It is a literal form of physical therapy that can help to strengthen the muscles in your pelvic region. If you’re interested in learning more about this, you can search for pelvic floor therapists who are in your area here.
11. Have Some Diflucan on Tap (Just in Case)
GiphyAlthough a lot of these tips are all about taking preventative measures, what should you do if you already have a yeast infection that’s tied to sex (and you know that for sure)? If you don’t want to go through the (sometimes) drama of scheduling a doctor’s appointment, there are sites now that will prescribe antifungal meds like Diflucan online.
Wisp is one that I definitely know does, along with medication for bacterial vaginosis (BV), UTIs, and genital herpes, too. Just fill out a form, and a doctor will follow up online. If they feel that you are a good candidate, they will send a prescription to a pharmacy in your area (of your choosing), and you can go pick up and pay there — sometimes all within the same day.
12. Get Tested for a Potential Sperm/Semen Allergy
GiphyAlthough actually being allergic to sperm/semen is not hella common (reportedly around 40,000 women in this country are), it is a real thing. So, if after having unprotected sex, you experience incessant burning and/or itching, hives, lip and/or tongue swelling, nausea, or diarrhea, it’s important that you see your physician. Although this kind of allergy is not particularly “dangerous,” it can be super uncomfortable.
Plus, it can make it harder for you to conceive a child (if that is something that you and your partner are trying to do). As far as treatment goes, to a certain extent, it varies. However, a prescription-strength antihistamine may be what your healthcare provider recommends for you.
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Gee, I certainly hope that these tips help. Because while having sex with someone who you dig is wonderful, it is so much better when your vagina “gets along” with him too. Feel me? Exactly.
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Featured image by Rachel Frank/Getty Images